PROMPT #65: Air "What are the Odds?" by c3childs, k

[c3childs]

Title: What Are the Odds?
Author: c3childs
Rating: K
Words: 495
Genre: humor, family
Char/Pair: Aang/Katara, Sokka
Warning: ...
Summary: It’s not fortune telling, it’s (not rocket) science.

[read more]

The young couple shared an adoring look. Aang pressed a hand over his wife's still flat belly.

"I'm sure he'll be an airbender, sweetie."

"Not likely."

Katara

Comments

[chordatesrock]

Everyone seems very in-character here. I can "hear" their voices clearly. The humor is not only funny but reminiscent of canon and I like how you've drawn on little throwaway details for your jokes.

"Shrugged" cannot be a dialogue tag.

A dialogue tag is something that comes after dialogue and explains who said it, as in:
"Blah blah," character said. ("Character said" is a dialogue tag.)

The verb here has to be something you actually do to the dialogue. Said, mumbled, shouted, asked and exclaimed are all acceptable, but you can't shrug a sentence.

Otherwise, I think the fic is very silly and I like it.

[c3childs]

Aw, thanks.
Well, going with the It's Genetic Theory, you'd have to establish which one is dominant, Air or Non. But then if it's some Spirit factor, who knows. Possibly it could occur naturally unless they had a whim. In which case, it could possibly be determined mathematically.

[clockwerkchaos]

Honestly, I hate to be negative, but this line

"Three kids later, and Sokka had called it every time."

really, really massively brings the fic down for me. Even if we accept a genetic argument for bending, this final lines makes no sense. The probabilities don't change when a new kid comes out. So if he made a prediction the first time, he shouldn't change that prediction any other time. Having him do so turns him from a scientist to an oracle, predicting it right every time despite there being no reason he should. Genetics don't tell you what the kid will be, only the odds.

I really, really think that you should cut the last line. It turns the piece from a amusing in character scene of Sokka being smart, to a piece of super-Sokka, who is perfectly right despite conflicting with the rules set out in the piece itself. The rest of it's great, but the last line causes the entire thing to fall apart for me.

[c3childs]

Point granted. I don't really understand actual genetics beyond the general theory as it's a side note in a couple of classes.
Thank you.