Prompt 66: "Regret", Become The Master

[anon616]

Title: Become The Master
Author: Anon616
Rating: K+
Words: 475
Genre: AU
Char/Pair: Azula and Zuko
Summary: The Firelord faces two defiant children.

Comments

[chordatesrock]

I like this, overall. The idea is certainly interesting. I hope to see more from this universe.

You have some technical problems with your dialogue tags. You can end a line of dialogue with a comma and treat the tag (so-and-so says) as a continuation of the sentence, which means you don't have to capitalize the pronouns. You don't have to capitalize pronouns if a line ends with a question mark or an exclamation mark, either.

[anon616]

To ensure I've got this right, an example would be to replace

"Are you sure?" He says.

with

"Are you sure?" he says.

correct?

As for writing more in this universe, once I think of a way for the AU to significantly change the lives of the Gaang as well as the Fire family... let's see. I wrote this as procrastination from revision, after all.

[chordatesrock]

Yes, that's correct.

Well, Iroh was sabotaging Zuko in canon. Could that affect things?

[anon616]

Well, that was what was originally planned but not what actually happened in cannon, so it's not going to be happening in this AU. One of the fun things about writing this story would be that Zuko and Azula have much less of a power disparity in their relationship, partly due to Iroh's guardianship.

[anon616]

Iroh always seemed to be a believer in destiny. In this universe, the role he believes is set for himself is just significantly less kind.

[somariel]

Wow. This never would have occurred to me as an idea. I'd love to see more in this continuity.

[grandiose666]

I *loved* this! especially:
"He taught them and grew to love them, not only as a master loves his students but something more, as pride grew from duty and love from pride"
Iroh strikes me as someone who had been greatly prone to pride, but would come to be proud of his student opposing him.