Condensed Episode 41: The Awakening
Am I the only one who thought of Spring Awakening when I heard this title? Yeah, I thought so.
WARNING: Contains long-winded rants about character's looks. And I didn't even mention that Sokka grew out the sides of his hair.
Whoops.
LE SPOILERS!
The Avatar Awakens
Be-Haired Aang: Urg...what happened? What did I do last night?
Suddenly, Aang notices something...
Aang: Wait...Why is everything metalic? And what's this tapestry doing here? It's so big and red and flam- OH MY GOD, I'M IN THE FIRE NATION.
Shocked, Aang runs-well, hobbles-blindly out the door. He is soon followed by two suspiciously Freedom-Fighter-shaped Fire Nation guards. He manages to fall onto the deck of the ship.
Fire Nation Guards: *play with Momo*
Aang: Bzuh?
Katara and Toph (in capes!): Yay! You're awake!
Sokka (in Fire Nation armor): Hi! Nice stuff, huh?
Aang: ...Where did you get those capes?
Toph: Got 'em cheap off some Spartans.
Pipsqueak: And we ARE Freedom Fighters!
Aang: What ever happened to Sneers?
Pipsqueak: ...That may or may not be explained later.
Aang: ...K. *blacks out*
Katara: Crap.
Azula's Deck
Zuko is standing and staring at something vague in the distance while angsting. So what else is new?
Mai: Hey.
Zuko: I think that the avatar might still be alive.
Mai: Who cares? Let's make out.
Zuko: K.
Mai: *smooch*
Maiko Fans: YAAAAY!
Zuko Fangirls: DO NOT WANT!
Zutarians: DAMN YOU, CANON!
Despite the smoochery, Zuko is still angstful. Damn, even getting a girlfriend cannot remove the stick from his ass.
Fake Fire Navy Ship
Katara: I've gotta say, Aang, the under-developed chia pet look works for you.
Aang: Um...thanks?
Hakoda: Nice to meet you, avatar!
Aang: You too!
Hakoda: So...
Katara: OMGGOAWAY.
Hakoda: O...kay? *leaves*
Aang: What was THAT for?
Katara: They'll explain it later. Now come on, you need healing.
Aang's Room
It turns out, Aang has a really nasty burn on his back. Katara does her crazy healing stuff, which activates Aang's Flashback of Woe reflex.
Aang: Waitaminute...did I die back there?
Katara: I used my Oasis Water of +∞ Healing, but that's about the way of it, yeah.
Aang: Crap. I really AM a Jesus, aren't I?
Fire Nation Exposition Tower
Creepy Frog Ladies of Doom and Exposition: Okay, so while you guys were waiting for the third season, Azula used her Dai Lee minions to generally fuck up Ba Sing Se, riding CGI tanks through the streets and terrorizing characters that you will recognize, so you will care more. Even better, after three years, Zuko FINALLLY managed to defeat the Avatar, so he can come back. Yay!
Zuko, Rocking Azula's Hairdo: *just sort of stands there*
He's angsting on the inside, trust me.
Fake Fire Navy Ship
Just what you wanted, more exposition!
Sokka: Okay, so while you were, uh, slightly dead, we managed to fly out of the city before the Dai Li went batshit. Fortunately, we were able to meet up with Dad, and we captured this ship. Also, the Earth King ran off with Basco to become a hippie, so good luck seeing HIM any time soon.
Earth King Fangirls: DAMMIT!
Sokka: Also, we'll be bringing back a shitload of the one-shot characters to help us out.
One-Shot Charater Fans: CONVENIENT PLOT TWIST FTW!
Sokka: And you haven't even heard the best part yet!
Aang: What?
Sokka: Everyone...
Aang: Yeah?
Sokka: thinks...
Aang: YEAH?!
Sokka: Everyone thinks you're DEAD! Isn't that GREAT?!
Aang: *makes 8O face*
Aang: WHAT?!!?!
Sokka: Cool, huh?
Aang: NO! It is FAR form cool! Everyone thinks I'm dead! AGAIN!
(Un)fortunately, Aang's emo is cut off by an approaching Real!Fire Navy ship.
Aang: Can I get them? Pleeeease?
Sokka: Look, can't you just let people save YOU this episode?
Aang: *sigh* Fine. But I'll still be bitter about it!
Everyone besides Hakoda and Bato ducks and covers. Some Commander steps off a gangplank and onto the boat, accompanied by Fire Nation Guards #3678 and #12.
Commander Goatee: Hey, you guys ARE aware you're going the wrong way, right?
Bato: Ummm...General Chen sent out for pizza?
Commander Goatee: Then...why didn't you just get it delivered?
Hakoda: Uh...They're...on strike?
Commander Goatee: Bummer.
Fire Nation Guard #3678: Hey, Commander? Wasn't Generel Chen on Atkins?
Commander Goatee: Hmmm, most suspicious. Let's kill them.
Toph: *jumps out* THEY SUSPECT! *metalbend*
Katara: *capsizes boat, whirlpool* There goes a sad, three-second character.
Palace Gardens
The pond from Zuko's childhood, only less pastel and red-tinted. Zuko is sitting there, feeding the turtleducks.
Zuko Fangirls: *melt*
Azula: Hello there.
Zuko: ...
Azula: You've been awfully quiet and emotionless lately. Maybe Mai's just rubbing off on you. Heh, "rubbing off..."
Zuko: ...
Azula: FINE, BE THAT WAY.
Zuko: Are we SURE that the Avatar's dead?
Azula: Well, is there any way he could POSSIBLY be alive?
Zuko: Well...
***
Flashback
Katara: I have this totally awesome Oasis Water of +∞ Healing that can cure ANYTHING! And I would've used it on you if you weren't a TOTAL DICKWEED, HOR.
***
Zuko: No. No way at all. Yes. Right.
Azula: Hmmmm...
Obligatory Fight Scene
The Great Balls of Fire are Unleashed, and Toph fires off rocks that are thrown to her by Pipsqueak (who has somehow aquired a bottomless supply of flat, smooth rocks) while The Duke stands behind her, for some reason.
Aang: I wanna fiiiight!
Sokka: Stay...
Aang: *mumblegrumblesaviormytattooedASSgrumble*
The Fire soldiers decide that just flinging stuff at them isn't going to work, so they shoot some grappling hook thing into the hull, which then begins to fill with water, but Katara is able to freeze it closed. How does it never melt? Magic, I guess. And Katara launches this huge wave (yay! She learned the technique from the Waterbending scroll!) and the fire is all flamey, and no one is really winning by much.
Sokka: I don't see how anything else can go wrong!
Serpent: Miss me? *FWOOSH*
Sokka: Well screw you too, universe.
Luckily for the GAang, the Serpent spent his off time renting Pirates of the Carribean 2.
Commander Goatee: AHHH! THE BADLY DEVISED CLIFFHANGERS! THEY BUUUURN!
Ship of Fakeness, Docked in Some Random Town
Katara: We're gonna go get some food. You can't come, but we'll get you some takeout!
Aang: *sulks*
Katara: Look, if you REALLY want to come, you can wear this headband over your tattoo.
Aang: LIKE HELL.
Katara: Geez, okay. Looks like SOMEONE didn't take his happy pills this morning.
The Best Transtion EVER
And speaking of that...
Zuko: Meeting my dad for the first time in three years has serious angst potential.
We can't meet him yet, though, because...
Aang Ran Away
Katara: Well shit then.
The Throne Room of Flameyness
Ozai: When I sent you away, Zuko, it was because you were a total non-badass loser. But now that you have killed someone that I disliked, I can finally call you my son. Kudos.
While he's talking, Ozai steps up out of his throne, through the flames (Coolness!) and to Zuko, and OMG WE SEE HIS FACE. *FOAM* I must say, he looks pretty good for his age. What is he, thirty, forty-plus? The dude's gotta have, like, 366 professionals each in hairstyling, skincare, and shinyness. One for each day of the year, including leap years. And if one of them messes up his majesty's weave, they'll be executed on the spot. Cuz no matter how pretty he is, he's still Ozai.
Fake Fire Ship of Emo Tears
Katara: How could he do that? HOW?!
Hakoda: Katara, it's going to be alr-
Katara: NO, IT'S NOT! *sob* He can't do that to us!!! How could he leave his family and home and just-
Hakoda: Um, Katara? We're not talking about the kid anymore, are we?
Katara: OMG HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!?
Hakoda: Good lord, woman, is EVERYONE emo this season?!?
Katara: Huh?
Hakoda: I mean...I'm sorry. We'll al be alright. Let's bond over this.
Katara: *sniffle* K.
The Throne Room of Flameyness
Ozai: So yeah, thanks for killing the Avatar for me.
Zuko: Wait, you think I killed the Avatar?
Ozai: Sure, Azula told me all about it. She said you'd really improved from your former pansy-assyness, and you totally didn't wimp out or have a moral episode or ANYTHING. Why do you ask?
Zuko: NO REASON AT ALL.
Aang's Flight of Angst
Or Aangst, I should say. Aang is trying to maneuver between a few boats, and decides to windsurf a la Kyoshi Island.
The Prettiest Palace of Them All, Azula's Bedroom
Azula's bedroom is just as red-tinted and princess-tastic as one would expect, although there is a surprising lack of tourtured souls hanging by chains from the ceiling. Maybe they're just offscreen. Azula looks...really different without her makeup and with her hair down. Sheesh, first Suki, now this. More to the point, what happened to those bangs at the sides of her face? Do they grow longer and thinner over night? Does she use some magical hair gel to make them stay put normally during the day? Does her hair change color, or is it just the lighting? I must know.
Zuko: Why did you lie to him?
Azula: Besides the fact that I ALWAYS lie, genius?
Zuko: Seriously, I bet you have ulterior motives.
Azula: No shit. This is ME we're talking about, remember? Well, since you have all the subtlety of a fart in a crowded elevator, I figured that you might be lying about the Avatar being dead. So I figured that I'd give you the glory for now, so it'll be even MORE devastating when you're proved wrong! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Zuko: *shuts door* It's so good to be home.
Floating on Some Log
Roku: Hey shorty, wake up.
Aang: Wha?
Roku: Look, you need to get back. I've made some mistakes in the past, which will be explained in a later episode, but everyone knows about it already because they saw the spoilers. But the point is, you're paying for my mistakes.
Aang: Wait, this war and everything is all YOUR fault???
Roku: In an inderect, roundabout way, yeah.
Aang: Remind me why I need your help so badly again?
Roku: ...Shut up.
Yue: Hi, Aang!
Yue Fans: Yay!
Aang: 'Sup? How's stuff in the Spirit World?
Yue: Pretty cool. Kyoshi turns out to play a mean game of Scrabble, and Zhao's still fun to annoy. Anyways, like Roku said, go back to your friends, learn firebending, yadda yadda. Here, have a spritual moon-powered wave to take you back.
Aang: Bye!
Yue: Oh, and tell Sokka to stop calling!
Crescent Island
Aang lands on the island that used to have Roku's temple on it, in an act of OMG SYMBOLIC. Fortunately, The GAang manages to find him there.
GAang: Group glomp!
Katara: Um...you're glider's kind of dead.
Aang: That's okay. It made me stand out too much.
Katara: You're really okay with it?
Aang: Yeah. Besides, I get a much cooler glider later in the season. And It's BLUE!
Katara: I'm...happy for you?
Aang: *burns glider*
Glider: THE SYMBOLISM! IT BURNS!
_loudnproud_: *is shot*
Menwhile...
Suki: That's it, I am TOTALLY firing my agent.
WARNING: Contains long-winded rants about character's looks. And I didn't even mention that Sokka grew out the sides of his hair.
Whoops.
LE SPOILERS!
The Avatar Awakens
Be-Haired Aang: Urg...what happened? What did I do last night?
Suddenly, Aang notices something...
Aang: Wait...Why is everything metalic? And what's this tapestry doing here? It's so big and red and flam- OH MY GOD, I'M IN THE FIRE NATION.
Shocked, Aang runs-well, hobbles-blindly out the door. He is soon followed by two suspiciously Freedom-Fighter-shaped Fire Nation guards. He manages to fall onto the deck of the ship.
Fire Nation Guards: *play with Momo*
Aang: Bzuh?
Katara and Toph (in capes!): Yay! You're awake!
Sokka (in Fire Nation armor): Hi! Nice stuff, huh?
Aang: ...Where did you get those capes?
Toph: Got 'em cheap off some Spartans.
Pipsqueak: And we ARE Freedom Fighters!
Aang: What ever happened to Sneers?
Pipsqueak: ...That may or may not be explained later.
Aang: ...K. *blacks out*
Katara: Crap.
Azula's Deck
Zuko is standing and staring at something vague in the distance while angsting. So what else is new?
Mai: Hey.
Zuko: I think that the avatar might still be alive.
Mai: Who cares? Let's make out.
Zuko: K.
Mai: *smooch*
Maiko Fans: YAAAAY!
Zuko Fangirls: DO NOT WANT!
Zutarians: DAMN YOU, CANON!
Despite the smoochery, Zuko is still angstful. Damn, even getting a girlfriend cannot remove the stick from his ass.
Fake Fire Navy Ship
Katara: I've gotta say, Aang, the under-developed chia pet look works for you.
Aang: Um...thanks?
Hakoda: Nice to meet you, avatar!
Aang: You too!
Hakoda: So...
Katara: OMGGOAWAY.
Hakoda: O...kay? *leaves*
Aang: What was THAT for?
Katara: They'll explain it later. Now come on, you need healing.
Aang's Room
It turns out, Aang has a really nasty burn on his back. Katara does her crazy healing stuff, which activates Aang's Flashback of Woe reflex.
Aang: Waitaminute...did I die back there?
Katara: I used my Oasis Water of +∞ Healing, but that's about the way of it, yeah.
Aang: Crap. I really AM a Jesus, aren't I?
Fire Nation Exposition Tower
Creepy Frog Ladies of Doom and Exposition: Okay, so while you guys were waiting for the third season, Azula used her Dai Lee minions to generally fuck up Ba Sing Se, riding CGI tanks through the streets and terrorizing characters that you will recognize, so you will care more. Even better, after three years, Zuko FINALLLY managed to defeat the Avatar, so he can come back. Yay!
Zuko, Rocking Azula's Hairdo: *just sort of stands there*
He's angsting on the inside, trust me.
Fake Fire Navy Ship
Just what you wanted, more exposition!
Sokka: Okay, so while you were, uh, slightly dead, we managed to fly out of the city before the Dai Li went batshit. Fortunately, we were able to meet up with Dad, and we captured this ship. Also, the Earth King ran off with Basco to become a hippie, so good luck seeing HIM any time soon.
Earth King Fangirls: DAMMIT!
Sokka: Also, we'll be bringing back a shitload of the one-shot characters to help us out.
One-Shot Charater Fans: CONVENIENT PLOT TWIST FTW!
Sokka: And you haven't even heard the best part yet!
Aang: What?
Sokka: Everyone...
Aang: Yeah?
Sokka: thinks...
Aang: YEAH?!
Sokka: Everyone thinks you're DEAD! Isn't that GREAT?!
Aang: *makes 8O face*
Aang: WHAT?!!?!
Sokka: Cool, huh?
Aang: NO! It is FAR form cool! Everyone thinks I'm dead! AGAIN!
(Un)fortunately, Aang's emo is cut off by an approaching Real!Fire Navy ship.
Aang: Can I get them? Pleeeease?
Sokka: Look, can't you just let people save YOU this episode?
Aang: *sigh* Fine. But I'll still be bitter about it!
Everyone besides Hakoda and Bato ducks and covers. Some Commander steps off a gangplank and onto the boat, accompanied by Fire Nation Guards #3678 and #12.
Commander Goatee: Hey, you guys ARE aware you're going the wrong way, right?
Bato: Ummm...General Chen sent out for pizza?
Commander Goatee: Then...why didn't you just get it delivered?
Hakoda: Uh...They're...on strike?
Commander Goatee: Bummer.
Fire Nation Guard #3678: Hey, Commander? Wasn't Generel Chen on Atkins?
Commander Goatee: Hmmm, most suspicious. Let's kill them.
Toph: *jumps out* THEY SUSPECT! *metalbend*
Katara: *capsizes boat, whirlpool* There goes a sad, three-second character.
Palace Gardens
The pond from Zuko's childhood, only less pastel and red-tinted. Zuko is sitting there, feeding the turtleducks.
Zuko Fangirls: *melt*
Azula: Hello there.
Zuko: ...
Azula: You've been awfully quiet and emotionless lately. Maybe Mai's just rubbing off on you. Heh, "rubbing off..."
Zuko: ...
Azula: FINE, BE THAT WAY.
Zuko: Are we SURE that the Avatar's dead?
Azula: Well, is there any way he could POSSIBLY be alive?
Zuko: Well...
***
Flashback
Katara: I have this totally awesome Oasis Water of +∞ Healing that can cure ANYTHING! And I would've used it on you if you weren't a TOTAL DICKWEED, HOR.
***
Zuko: No. No way at all. Yes. Right.
Azula: Hmmmm...
Obligatory Fight Scene
The Great Balls of Fire are Unleashed, and Toph fires off rocks that are thrown to her by Pipsqueak (who has somehow aquired a bottomless supply of flat, smooth rocks) while The Duke stands behind her, for some reason.
Aang: I wanna fiiiight!
Sokka: Stay...
Aang: *mumblegrumblesaviormytattooedASSgrumble*
The Fire soldiers decide that just flinging stuff at them isn't going to work, so they shoot some grappling hook thing into the hull, which then begins to fill with water, but Katara is able to freeze it closed. How does it never melt? Magic, I guess. And Katara launches this huge wave (yay! She learned the technique from the Waterbending scroll!) and the fire is all flamey, and no one is really winning by much.
Sokka: I don't see how anything else can go wrong!
Serpent: Miss me? *FWOOSH*
Sokka: Well screw you too, universe.
Luckily for the GAang, the Serpent spent his off time renting Pirates of the Carribean 2.
Commander Goatee: AHHH! THE BADLY DEVISED CLIFFHANGERS! THEY BUUUURN!
Ship of Fakeness, Docked in Some Random Town
Katara: We're gonna go get some food. You can't come, but we'll get you some takeout!
Aang: *sulks*
Katara: Look, if you REALLY want to come, you can wear this headband over your tattoo.
Aang: LIKE HELL.
Katara: Geez, okay. Looks like SOMEONE didn't take his happy pills this morning.
The Best Transtion EVER
And speaking of that...
Zuko: Meeting my dad for the first time in three years has serious angst potential.
We can't meet him yet, though, because...
Aang Ran Away
Katara: Well shit then.
The Throne Room of Flameyness
Ozai: When I sent you away, Zuko, it was because you were a total non-badass loser. But now that you have killed someone that I disliked, I can finally call you my son. Kudos.
While he's talking, Ozai steps up out of his throne, through the flames (Coolness!) and to Zuko, and OMG WE SEE HIS FACE. *FOAM* I must say, he looks pretty good for his age. What is he, thirty, forty-plus? The dude's gotta have, like, 366 professionals each in hairstyling, skincare, and shinyness. One for each day of the year, including leap years. And if one of them messes up his majesty's weave, they'll be executed on the spot. Cuz no matter how pretty he is, he's still Ozai.
Fake Fire Ship of Emo Tears
Katara: How could he do that? HOW?!
Hakoda: Katara, it's going to be alr-
Katara: NO, IT'S NOT! *sob* He can't do that to us!!! How could he leave his family and home and just-
Hakoda: Um, Katara? We're not talking about the kid anymore, are we?
Katara: OMG HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!?
Hakoda: Good lord, woman, is EVERYONE emo this season?!?
Katara: Huh?
Hakoda: I mean...I'm sorry. We'll al be alright. Let's bond over this.
Katara: *sniffle* K.
The Throne Room of Flameyness
Ozai: So yeah, thanks for killing the Avatar for me.
Zuko: Wait, you think I killed the Avatar?
Ozai: Sure, Azula told me all about it. She said you'd really improved from your former pansy-assyness, and you totally didn't wimp out or have a moral episode or ANYTHING. Why do you ask?
Zuko: NO REASON AT ALL.
Aang's Flight of Angst
Or Aangst, I should say. Aang is trying to maneuver between a few boats, and decides to windsurf a la Kyoshi Island.
The Prettiest Palace of Them All, Azula's Bedroom
Azula's bedroom is just as red-tinted and princess-tastic as one would expect, although there is a surprising lack of tourtured souls hanging by chains from the ceiling. Maybe they're just offscreen. Azula looks...really different without her makeup and with her hair down. Sheesh, first Suki, now this. More to the point, what happened to those bangs at the sides of her face? Do they grow longer and thinner over night? Does she use some magical hair gel to make them stay put normally during the day? Does her hair change color, or is it just the lighting? I must know.
Zuko: Why did you lie to him?
Azula: Besides the fact that I ALWAYS lie, genius?
Zuko: Seriously, I bet you have ulterior motives.
Azula: No shit. This is ME we're talking about, remember? Well, since you have all the subtlety of a fart in a crowded elevator, I figured that you might be lying about the Avatar being dead. So I figured that I'd give you the glory for now, so it'll be even MORE devastating when you're proved wrong! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Zuko: *shuts door* It's so good to be home.
Floating on Some Log
Roku: Hey shorty, wake up.
Aang: Wha?
Roku: Look, you need to get back. I've made some mistakes in the past, which will be explained in a later episode, but everyone knows about it already because they saw the spoilers. But the point is, you're paying for my mistakes.
Aang: Wait, this war and everything is all YOUR fault???
Roku: In an inderect, roundabout way, yeah.
Aang: Remind me why I need your help so badly again?
Roku: ...Shut up.
Yue: Hi, Aang!
Yue Fans: Yay!
Aang: 'Sup? How's stuff in the Spirit World?
Yue: Pretty cool. Kyoshi turns out to play a mean game of Scrabble, and Zhao's still fun to annoy. Anyways, like Roku said, go back to your friends, learn firebending, yadda yadda. Here, have a spritual moon-powered wave to take you back.
Aang: Bye!
Yue: Oh, and tell Sokka to stop calling!
Crescent Island
Aang lands on the island that used to have Roku's temple on it, in an act of OMG SYMBOLIC. Fortunately, The GAang manages to find him there.
GAang: Group glomp!
Katara: Um...you're glider's kind of dead.
Aang: That's okay. It made me stand out too much.
Katara: You're really okay with it?
Aang: Yeah. Besides, I get a much cooler glider later in the season. And It's BLUE!
Katara: I'm...happy for you?
Aang: *burns glider*
Glider: THE SYMBOLISM! IT BURNS!
_loudnproud_: *is shot*
Menwhile...
Suki: That's it, I am TOTALLY firing my agent.