Avatar Evil Overlord List Picspam
For those who haven't heard of it, the Evil Overlord List is a list of what it takes to be a successful evil overlord in the world of fantasy and science fiction. Several lessons could come in handy in the Avatar world.
1: My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
FAIL
2: My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
FAIL
3: My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
FAIL
4: Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
PASS
6: I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
FAIL
17: When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
PASS
18: I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
FAIL
19: I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
FAIL (the first half, anyway)
20: Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
FAIL
21: I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
FAIL
23: I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
FAIL
24: I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
FAIL
29: I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
PASS
33: I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
PASS... sort of
35: I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
FAIL FAIL FAIL!
36: I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
PASS for not even keeping members of the same party in the same prison ("The Boiling Rock"), but you can't show that in a picture
39: If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
FAIL
42: When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
PASS
44: I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
PASS temporarily, but I will not make a joke about anything blowing up in his face...
52: I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
FAIL
56: My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
FAIL
58: If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
FAIL
62: I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
FAIL
64: I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
FAIL oh so completely
70: When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
FAIL
78: I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
FAIL
80: If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
PASS
84: I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
FAIL
88: If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
Azula: You're fired!
PASS
97: My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
PASS
In conclusion: The Fire Nation school system needs to devote more time to covering the Evil Overlord List.
© This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.
* Since this is the Internet, let me clarify I am not criticizing the show; this is strictly for lulz.
1: My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
FAIL
2: My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
FAIL
3: My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
FAIL
4: Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
PASS
6: I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
FAIL
17: When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
PASS
18: I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
FAIL
19: I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
FAIL (the first half, anyway)
20: Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
FAIL
21: I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
FAIL
23: I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
FAIL
24: I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
FAIL
29: I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
PASS
33: I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
PASS... sort of
35: I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
FAIL FAIL FAIL!
36: I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
PASS for not even keeping members of the same party in the same prison ("The Boiling Rock"), but you can't show that in a picture
39: If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
FAIL
42: When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
PASS
44: I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
PASS temporarily, but I will not make a joke about anything blowing up in his face...
52: I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
FAIL
56: My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
FAIL
58: If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
FAIL
62: I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
FAIL
64: I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
FAIL oh so completely
70: When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
FAIL
78: I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
FAIL
80: If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
PASS
84: I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
FAIL
88: If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
Azula: You're fired!
PASS
97: My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
PASS
In conclusion: The Fire Nation school system needs to devote more time to covering the Evil Overlord List.
© This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.
* Since this is the Internet, let me clarify I am not criticizing the show; this is strictly for lulz.