Ficlet: Lost
Character(s): Dairine/Roshaun
Fandom: Young Wizards (spoilers for Wizards at War)
Word Count: 550
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: Written for wanderlight during big_little week. Set after Wizards at War - Dairine deals with the aftermath of the battle. Unbetaed.
It was 8:00 AM, and Dairine Callahan was in homeroom, as always. Her classmates were chattering away about movies, guys, and all the latest gossip. (Nothing about the events of the last few days - her classmates could be annihilated and she doubted they would even notice.) No one spoke to Dairine, and she was glad about that. All in all, a normal day.
Like anything can be normal after that, she thought fiercely, staring intensely into space. They'd saved the universe, and here she was in school, like nothing had happened. The Hesper had a chance now, and the Pullulus was gone. They'd won. If they'd won, why did it feel more like a defeat?
Roshaun. Roshaun was lost. Not dead (not like Mom, the old grief coming back to choke her) - she knew that now, but the not knowing was almost worse. (She chided herself - nothing could be worse than death.) What she would give for him to be sitting next to her, crunching a lollipop like always... (She wouldn't cry.)
It wasn't reasonable, she told herself. She'd known Roshaun for not quite three weeks, and she was acting like she'd lost something important. Kit had lost Ponch, and she was acting like some lovesick - she cut herself off. There were no words for what she'd lost. (What is lost might be found again, a part of her brain whispered.)
She went through the day in a fog of not-quite-grief and exhaustion. She'd thought the Lone Power couldn't hurt her anymore, not after her mom. She should have known - that One always finds another way to hurt. She was quiet, answering questions only when asked, and barely paying attention. (She knew that if she didn't snap out of it soon, the rumors would start, that there was something wrong with her. Maybe drugs, maybe worse. She didn't much care.)
Her math teacher kept her after class, asking if she was all right, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She nodded and smiled wanly. “Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired.” There was more truth to that statement than she would like to admit.
At lunch, she sat with the nerds, as usual. She wasn't very close to any of them, but even they could tell something was up. The nicest of them, a girl with long black hair and a passion for poetry (Samantha, she vaguely recalled), looked at her. “What's wrong, Dari?”
She considering lying, saying that everything was OK, but, somehow, found herself talking. “I lost my - “ She didn't even know what to call him, other than Roshaun. Boyfriend sounded like one of those high school relationships she hated, and they weren't together, not like that. She never had a best friend (besides Spot), and surely Roshaun merited more than just a friend. Bitterly, she thought of Roshaun's word: “unionbond”. “He's missing,” she finished lamely.
Samantha nodded. “I'm sorry.” No, you're not, you didn't know him, she wanted to scream, but Sam sounded sincere, and she bit off her sarcasm. “Maybe they'll find him,” Sam said.
“Yes,” she said hesitantly. “Yes,” she said again, stronger now, and found herself laughing. What would Roshaun think of her now, grieving over him when she knew he was out there to be found? She just could see the disdainful look on his face, ruined by the laughter in his eyes. “I'll find him. No matter what it takes. I'll find him."
Fandom: Young Wizards (spoilers for Wizards at War)
Word Count: 550
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: Written for wanderlight during big_little week. Set after Wizards at War - Dairine deals with the aftermath of the battle. Unbetaed.
It was 8:00 AM, and Dairine Callahan was in homeroom, as always. Her classmates were chattering away about movies, guys, and all the latest gossip. (Nothing about the events of the last few days - her classmates could be annihilated and she doubted they would even notice.) No one spoke to Dairine, and she was glad about that. All in all, a normal day.
Like anything can be normal after that, she thought fiercely, staring intensely into space. They'd saved the universe, and here she was in school, like nothing had happened. The Hesper had a chance now, and the Pullulus was gone. They'd won. If they'd won, why did it feel more like a defeat?
Roshaun. Roshaun was lost. Not dead (not like Mom, the old grief coming back to choke her) - she knew that now, but the not knowing was almost worse. (She chided herself - nothing could be worse than death.) What she would give for him to be sitting next to her, crunching a lollipop like always... (She wouldn't cry.)
It wasn't reasonable, she told herself. She'd known Roshaun for not quite three weeks, and she was acting like she'd lost something important. Kit had lost Ponch, and she was acting like some lovesick - she cut herself off. There were no words for what she'd lost. (What is lost might be found again, a part of her brain whispered.)
She went through the day in a fog of not-quite-grief and exhaustion. She'd thought the Lone Power couldn't hurt her anymore, not after her mom. She should have known - that One always finds another way to hurt. She was quiet, answering questions only when asked, and barely paying attention. (She knew that if she didn't snap out of it soon, the rumors would start, that there was something wrong with her. Maybe drugs, maybe worse. She didn't much care.)
Her math teacher kept her after class, asking if she was all right, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She nodded and smiled wanly. “Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired.” There was more truth to that statement than she would like to admit.
At lunch, she sat with the nerds, as usual. She wasn't very close to any of them, but even they could tell something was up. The nicest of them, a girl with long black hair and a passion for poetry (Samantha, she vaguely recalled), looked at her. “What's wrong, Dari?”
She considering lying, saying that everything was OK, but, somehow, found herself talking. “I lost my - “ She didn't even know what to call him, other than Roshaun. Boyfriend sounded like one of those high school relationships she hated, and they weren't together, not like that. She never had a best friend (besides Spot), and surely Roshaun merited more than just a friend. Bitterly, she thought of Roshaun's word: “unionbond”. “He's missing,” she finished lamely.
Samantha nodded. “I'm sorry.” No, you're not, you didn't know him, she wanted to scream, but Sam sounded sincere, and she bit off her sarcasm. “Maybe they'll find him,” Sam said.
“Yes,” she said hesitantly. “Yes,” she said again, stronger now, and found herself laughing. What would Roshaun think of her now, grieving over him when she knew he was out there to be found? She just could see the disdainful look on his face, ruined by the laughter in his eyes. “I'll find him. No matter what it takes. I'll find him."