2

[soldierly]

THIS ROUND IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS.
ROUND TWO
closing at 5000 comments
Please read the [rules] before commenting!

PROMPT FORMATTING:
Alphabetize pairings. They will be archived that way!
Put [RPF] before RPF prompts.
Put [Crossover] before crossover prompts.
Please use this format: Steve/Tony, Tony needs help adjusting his arc reactor ;

Comments

Any/Any, Deadpool made them do it.

[anonymous]

Deadpool is sick of seeing the sexual tension between certain members of the team. He only ever sees it in passing, when there's altercations between him and them. Or occasionally if they're forced to do some kind of publicity but it's driving him crazy. Er.

So he takes it upon himself to find ways to get these couples together. The more insane the better.

Bonus points for:

- Deadpool hitting on Natasha and getting shot down. (Double bonus for her actually shooting him).
- Deadpool trying to set up completely the wrong couples. The crackier the better. (I'm thinking dressing up Mjolnir in lingerie for Thor cracky here).
- The rest of the team trying to figure out exactly who this audience he keeps addressing is.
- One of his pairings being brought together like this; http://i.imgur.com/JBI2p.jpg

Re: Any/Any, Deadpool made them do it.

[anonymous]

Seconding for the absolute LOLZ.

Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (1/2)

[hermione_vader]

Roses were a nice gesture. Steve had never gotten roses before. Now if he could just figure out why Tony sent him roses. At S.H.I.E.L.D., of all places.

"Tony, did you trim these from a bush with a machete?" Steve asked, holding out the choppy-stemmed bouquet.

"Excuse me?"

"They're from you. I have the note." Steve took the crumpled paper out of his pocket. "'To Steve: Stay sexy, gorgeous. Saying anything about my feelings for you would totally ruin my snark-tastic public persona, so here, have these. XOXO, Tony Stark, the Invincible Iron Man and Golden Avenger'"

Tony snatched the paper out of his hand and read it again under his breath. "Steve. Seriously. There are a couple of big reasons this can't be from me: One, this isn't my handwriting. Two, I have never billed myself as 'The Invincible Iron Man' or 'The Golden Avenger,' but I should probably copyright those just in case. Three, I don't send flowers. Ever. Four, if I ever did send flowers, I would use FTD, not a machete."

"It was a katana!" A familiar-

Re: Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (1/2)

[anonymous]

Lol. Already hilarious. You write an awesome Deadpool, dude. Can't wait for the next!

Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2a/2)

[hermione_vader]

The next day, Steve was in the hallway when he heard two shots ring out from the conference room. He ran in and found Natasha standing on the table. She'd drawn her gun on Deadpool, who lay spread-eagle on the floor.

"What in hell makes you think I would ever sleep with you?" she snapped

Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2b/2)

[hermione_vader]

Everyone, minor Loki and plus Fury, gathered in the Mansion's living room the following day. They recounted their awkward and embarassing encounters with Deadpool's romantic machinations, and the whole discussion culminated in Bruce explaining how the mercenary had both harassed him with leafy vegetables and drew a sultry face on his beloved purple stress ball.

"I just...this is my stress ball. No one touches my stress ball. This keeps me calm and now it's been violated." Bruce's breathing went shallow as he held it up. Steve patted him on the shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile.

Fury's good eye glared and so did his eyepatch. "Alright, then. I do not want to have to do this, but someone is going to have to engage in a public display of affection in front of Wilson. With his powers, apprehending him does no good, and talking this over is right out. You all know this. Now we just have to pick which one..."

Tony raised his hand. "I'll do it. With Steve."

Steve's body went numb. "You---what"Sure, why not? You

Re: Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2b/2)

[bugeyedmonster]

*iz giggling*

Re: Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2b/2)

[dametokillfor]

DYING. This is so funny, your Deadpool is fantastic. Love the Ryan/Scarlett comment, never even thought of that. Its good that Wade is willing to do these things for the good of the pubic. Also setting Coulson up with Fury and Dugan, I can just picture that.

And the Firefly reference. Yes.

Great ficlet! :)

Re: Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2b/2)

[smifli]

Deadpool wins....omg xD perfect!

Re: Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2b/2)

[anonymous]

dude, your deadpool is awesome

Re: Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2b/2)

[beizanten]

Is wade really have many scars? poor guy no wonder he turn evil and crazy! I love gis hillarious crazy oersonality. Love the matchmaking, his prank and the ending so much. Very entertaining

Re: Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2b/2)

[hermione_vader]

Yes, Wade is completely covered in scars because his healing factor heals his body and then heals his cancer, so they're always warring with each other. That's why he's crazy, too.

Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Re: Fill: Matchmaking Mastermind (2b/2)

[beizanten]

Wait I don't get it, why doesn't his scar heal if he has healing factor