as usual, i've been thinking about sex. if you can't answer the questions without specific facts or want to leave more lengthly remarks, feel free to drop a comment.
hahaha. i really don't know how to describe it because my memories of it are so clouded with time. i think my last time might've been in rochester. my hair was a lot shorter.
I was in a relationship with someone for a little over three years. He was compatible with me on a sexual level in terms of likes and dislikes, but his libido was an entirely different story. Whenever he was experiencing something stressful in his life he would shut down sexually. I'm not talking just no sex, but a COMPLETE shut down... no kissing, no touching... nada. He was fully aware of this tendency and we talked about it every time it happened. It never made me feel any better about it though. I'm an extremely sexual person, and I couldn't help but feel occasionally rejected. So, sometimes even open communication isn't going to save a vast disparity. Little quirks can be worked out through compromise.
Just for the record, it wasn't the sex thing that ultimately broke us up, but it probably would have been a more pronounced problem over time. My mother always said, if you're having issues about not enough sex BEFORE you get married... a commitment definitely isn't going to make it better.
that's exactly what i was thinking.. it could become a much bigger issue over time. and honestly, i just refuse to let that happen or to become one of those couples. i think it's exactly what you're saying, too: related to stress and him being overworked. and the real issue is what you said, it's making me feel bad. it's not something that's so simple that it can be solved with a vibrator... i don't want to feel unattractive or rejected, you know?
I know exactly what you mean. Because even if you occasionally resort to a joke like, "I'm going to go and name my vibrator now." and then you actually HAVE sex... you're wondering if it was because he really wanted to or because he's doing it to appease you. And sex as an obligation is never attractive.
exactly!! that's the one thing that makes me hesitant about just bringing this all up and talking it out: because i know if i do that, then every time we have sex from now til forever, i'm going to be thinking "this is a pity fuck."
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Just for the record, it wasn't the sex thing that ultimately broke us up, but it probably would have been a more pronounced problem over time. My mother always said, if you're having issues about not enough sex BEFORE you get married... a commitment definitely isn't going to make it better.
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*sighs* Maybe we're just insatiable. ;)
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