I'm so excited
I'm so excited
I'm so excited
I'm so excited
I'm so excited
I'm so excited

oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
yes

yes
yes
yes
yes

let the lies begin!

The anniversary is coming up in two months, and there's this little part of me that still believes it will happen with fireworks, like some sort of Messianic second coming. We won't have to deal with it anymore, we'll be shaken awake. She'll come back. We'll be home.
I know it's not going to happen, but then I can see the vision of it, and --

All these moments kind of get strung together, like my life is some big fabric and eyelets are being punched through certain points, and a thread is strung through each of them, pulling them all together. Aching, overwhelming nostalgia, for then, for me, for now, for what's going to happen. And when I'm in this particular moment it's just the same ( Read more... )

He asked me what caused this ruckus, this huge shift in my life. I thought about it and realized it was simple: Samuel Beckett.
Sam, you blessed scoundrel! I guess I have you to thank in the next life, if there is one, and if we're in the same location.

oh my god, it has to happen.

I have to go. And start over again.

Getting a music degree from Seattle University? In what universe did I possibly think that was a good idea?

So where am I going?
And why am I going?
And with what possible hope?

I can't believe that I forgot about myself.

Here goes, fellas!

I did it.

I'm free.


( Read more... )

Hello body, I live here.

Additionally, I'm contemplating moving on.

This is intense and it makes me feel awesome (which may just be the sleep deprivation - who cares ( Read more... )

When I have a child, I need to remember these things ( Read more... )