i think i took so many pills that my stomach hurts. im going to stop that. i slept really nice. iwant a sandwhich from wayside. i think i can chew today. i want nothing to do with boys today. i want to work hard and come home and tend to myself, and my trashed room. mm turkey sandwhich.

"sometimes I run, when I am afraid."

Out of this world. I haven't really cared about anything the last 3 days cos Im so off my equilibrium. But it's coming down to making a decision, and I rather not have to choose anyone. Then i'll regret it. There's this pressure from Makke that I should just be with him. And I want to but I don't want to choose cos I don't really even know Joe.. ( Read more... )

Work was good. I love the regulars. My job and those people hold me together for eight and a half hours a day. Slowly, I feel like each part of me disintegrates into an abyss of nothingness. I was home to catch Seinfeld last night and George wanted to produce a show about nothingness. I want to direct a life about nothingness. I had plans tonight. ( Read more... )

So Monday at work I was a sloppy mess. Breaking out into tears whenever someone asked what was wrong. I guess it's the fact that so many people asked me, sort of clicked in my head that they really might care. I dryed up around 3:30, and stopped wishing I could just go home. I went to the Chiropractor, and my pelvis was all sorts of fucked up which ( Read more... )

i thought i took them out of my phone, but i didnt. i noticed tonite. maybe i dreamt it. maybe it means something. sometimes i look to far into fate.

everywhere i go ( Read more... )

I'm making progress toward a decision. And Im glad I took these nutrition classes, because everyone should know these things ( Read more... )

im thinking about changing my major. but its so much more than that. i just can't get into studying, or remembering things but I do well because I can bullshit really well and i do all my homework; i feel like im cheating myself. and im bored. even at work. fuck.

haha i deleted brian and eric from any social contact when i was drunk and i bet it still bothers me more than it will ever strike a nerve in either of them. ah fuck it. just let it go. just let it go. forget and forgive later in time.