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[avingail]

To my little nip-fiend I am only the one who opens the container.

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Results of the research:

[happaman]

Careful monitoring of your computer has revealed that late at night while you slept, Contessa has been in contact with a secret lab, deep in the Catskill mountains. Her orders are to continue playing with you. The lab has figured out how to get the boring dry cat-food out of the bags, but is still baffled by the cans where the GOOD food is. They're afraid that until that study is completed, and a way of changing the cat-box is discovered, the conquest of the world will have to wait.