Bleach fic: The other side of the moon (Part 2/2)
Title: The other side of the moon (Part 2/2)
Author: aviss
Pairing: Grimmjow/Ichigo
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~ 5.000
Summary: Long time after the war someone from the past reappears to throw Ichigo's life into chaos.
Part I
The other side of the moon
Part II
The training exercise in Earth had been sheer torture, and this time Renji was definitely the one to blame. The fucking bastard had included Grimmjow in Ichigo's group, obviously his way of telling Ichigo he couldn't hide or run away from this particular problem.
Ichigo didn't doubt whose idea had been in the first place, but it was easier blaming Renji than Rukia, so he glared at him on their way back from the Academy after leaving the students there.
He had not been terribly surprised when they went to pick up the recruits and he'd seen Grimmjow there, staring at him with that smug expression he remembered so well. He had known his friends weren't going to leave well enough alone.
"He's the best of his class," Renji had simply said, trying to conceal a smirk of his own. Ichigo had never felt so much like killing him.
But he was the best of his class, that much was clear. Grimmjow's kidou was weak but his swordsmanship and fighting skills were on a complete different level than the rest. He also was the only other student with Shikai.
He had kept his distance; just looking at Ichigo and waiting, but it had proven enough of a distraction just to have him there. When the attack from the Hollows came Ichigo felt almost relieved to have something else to occupy his mind.
Ichigo had taken a step back, ordering the students to surround the three Hollows and observing them.
Grimmjow, the show off, had released immediately.
"Kishire, Pantera."
Ichigo had reacted to those words, and in a way he hoped wasn't obvious to the rest of the group. That Grimmjow's zanpakutou was called exactly the same as before was only proof that with or without his memories the bastard was still Grimmjow no matter how much Ichigo refused to acknowledge the fact.
He had watched him fight against the Hollow, slicing it with an economy of movements and a speed clearly displayed sorely to impress him. He was impressed. And hard--damn his body for being so attuned to the bastard.
Ichigo couldn't wait for the exercise to be over so he could go back to his rooms and deal with his problem.
They had been the first group to finish, Ichigo making sure to keep the rest of the students between Grimmjow and he. He wouldn't put it past the bastard to realize the effect he had on Ichigo's body and take advantage of it. He really didn't need to put on another show in front of the students and his self-control was at an all-time's low.
But Grimmjow had behaved strangely well, making Ichigo even more nervous. He had been glad when Renji's group joined them and they went back to Soul Society.
Ichigo opened the door to his room with a relieved sigh, hoping to be granted a few minutes privacy before Rikichi came to give him the day's report. An empty hope, he realized seeing who was waiting for him inside.
How the bastard had arrived before Ichigo was a mystery.
He closed the door, leaning wearily against it. "What are you doing here, Grimmjow?"
"I dreamed of you again."
Of all the things Grimmjow could have said, that one he would have never expected. "What?" He asked dumbly.
"The only things I remember from my past life are the dreams, and you are always in them. Why? Why you? Why not Aizen or the other Espada?"
Ichigo didn't know what to say. He shook his head. "I've no idea, Grimmjow. People usually don't remember or dream about the past here. Why you do, I don't know." But he did, or at least he suspected. Only it was ridiculous--there had been no feelings involved in his relationship with Grimmjow before.
Grimmjow stood and walked up to him. "I think you do. Don't you want to know what the dream was about?"
Ichigo shrugged trying to look uninterested. His body was betraying him again, but he would be damned before he let it show in front of this guy. "A fight, probably."
Grimmjow laughed. "You could call it that way, I guess." He took another step forward, his body so close to Ichigo he could feel the heat radiating from it. "It was because of you, wasn't it? I turned against Aizen for you."
"No," Ichigo lied, his voice rasping. He couldn't think clearly with Grimmjow so close to him and his raging arousal.
Grimmjow chuckled, the sound low and deep forcing Ichigo to suppress a shudder. "You're lying," he closed the distance between them, his head tilting to the side so he could whisper in Ichigo's ear, their bodies pressed against each other. "We weren't just enemies, we were more. That's the missing piece, that's what my dreams have been telling me all this time." He pushed his hips up and Ichigo could feel Grimmjow's arousal colliding with his own straining cock. He bit back a moan, holding tightly on to his frayed control.
"What are you talking about, Grimmjow?" he managed to ground out between clenched teeth.
Grimmjow didn't reply, instead he ground harder against Ichigo, his lips moving from his ear to his neck, biting. Ichigo couldn't help himself; he pushed back closing his eyes, a moan stuck on his throat.
"We were lovers, weren't we, Ichigo?"
That did it. His eyes snapping open, Ichigo put his hands on Grimmjow's chest and pushed him away. Hard. He took a deep breath to compose himself, glaring at the fallen Grimmjow.
"Lovers?" he laughed harshly. "Love had nothing to do with it. We fought, we fucked, and then we fought some more. That's what we did and I don't intend to repeat the same mistakes again."
Grimmjow narrowed his eyes, glaring at Ichigo. "Right, so we fight first if you want it that way," he said standing up and launching himself at Ichigo.
Ichigo blocked him easily, gripping his arm and shoving him against a wall, trapping him there with his body. "We're not fighting, Mizuiro-kun, and we're definitely not fucking," he said, using the name he so hated just to drive the point home. "You're forgetting you're not an Espada anymore. Grimmjow might have been on equal grounds with me, but you're not."
Grimmjow struggled, almost managing to break free before Ichigo twisted his arm harder, forcing him to surrender or risk a fracture. "Fucking liar!" Grimmjow growled. "I've seen it, I've felt it. You want me."
Ichigo let go of his arm and turned him around, his hand moving to the place where the bones used to be. "Not you, him."
There was no need to explain what he meant.
"I am Grimmjow."
"No, you're not. He's dead. He died for me."
They stayed like that for a few seconds, both of them staring speechless at each other. Ichigo couldn't believe the words that had just escaped his lips, and he would give anything to take them back, to take the knowledge of their truth out of his heart.
He was happier in denial.
He let go of Grimmjow and retreated to the other side of the room. "Go away and don't come back."
Grimmjow looked like he wanted to protest; Ichigo grabbed his sword and unwrapped it, pointing it at his throat. "Fuck off from here; I'm not in the mood right now."
With a final glare, Grimmjow opened the door and almost collided with Renji, who had just arrived. Ichigo looked at his friend and put Zangetsu back in its place.
Renji looked at him taking stock of the situation and rolled his eyes. "Sake?" he asked materializing a jar from god-knows-where.
…
He had been so close.
The fucking coward!
Grimmjow seethed on his way back to his room in the Academy, his mind replaying the last scene again and again.
He had suspected since the previous conversation the connection he had with Ichigo, but with nothing to prove it even to himself he wasn't going to say anything. He had waited years to learn about his past, he could wait a few days more.
Then came the dreams. More vivid and real than any he had before. And in all of them appeared Ichigo. Fights, blood and more violence Grimmjow had ever seen. Dreams of war and destruction, and him standing next to Ichigo, fighting with him, fighting against him.
And the last one, the one that made the missing piece fall into place. There had been an Espada dead on the ground, a horned mask covering half his head and Ichigo bloodied and half dead also lying on the ground. A girl was next to him, something like a field of light covering Ichigo and making his wounds disappear.
"Inoue, please heal him as well," Ichigo had said signalling at Grimmjow when the girl was finished with him. She nodded reluctantly and moved to Grimmjow, the field of light spreading around him and healing his also beaten body.
"I'm going to check on the rest of the group, Kurosaki-kun. See if someone else needs to be healed," she said, looking between Ichigo and Grimmjow with a sad expression before leaving them alone.
"It's the second time I save your arse, Shinigami," he said stalking towards Ichigo.
"I could deal with Ulquiorra on my own, Grimmjow," Ichigo said, shrugging. He grabbed the front of Grimmjow's jacket and pulled him close, "You just wanted to take him on." He pressed their mouths together while Grimmjow laughed, pushing him against a nearby wall and grinding against his body.
"Yeah, you're right."
They tore their clothes apart in their eagerness to get undressed, biting and scratching and almost undoing all the girl's work healing them. Ichigo turned to face the wall, bracing his hands against it.
"Fuck me now, Grimmjow," he said.
Grimmjow woke up in that moment, all the doubts he had before gone now.
He had thought confronting Ichigo would get him the results the expected, but he had been disappointed. Worse than being rejected, he had been clearly shown he wasn't strong enough to do anything about it.
Grimmjow didn't know if he was furious with Kurosaki or himself for not being able to beat the truth out of the fucker.
But he had reacted to Grimmjow. His body had responded, eyes completely unfocused and ragged breath, trying to get closer and far away from Grimmjow at the same time. And those low sounds Ichigo didn't seem to be aware he was making--Grimmjow had wanted to take him there and then, had wanted him more than anything in his life.
He may have been forced to leave this time, but he wasn't going to quit. He would make Kurosaki Ichigo his, like he was supposed to be. Like he was before.
…
The rational part of his mind was telling Ichigo he was in no state to take on Tousen. The rest of his mind was drowning in a sea of fury and despair, thinking of things unsaid and the lost chance of ever saying them.
All because of this man.
Ichigo attacked relentlessly with a power he didn't know he possessed before, his mask holding in place when common sense dictated it should have been destroyed before.
The arrival of Shinji and the visored was timely, giving Ichigo the chance to fight against the one he wanted to kill more than anything right now without worrying about Aizen.
Grimmjow had done a good job fighting Tousen, Ichigo noticed seeing the blood dripping from his sword hand and the way he favoured his right leg when moving.
A cero was shot to his right, the ground shaking and a piercing shout splitting the air. Ichigo didn't know what was happening in that corner, his mind focused only in his current enemy, but it gave him an idea. Splaying his hand like he had seen Grimmjow do several times, Ichigo focused all his energy and shot his own cero at Tousen, following it with the black Getsuga, putting all his remaining energy on those attacks.
He felt them connect with their target, Tousen keeping silent even in the face of death.
Another explosion shook the ground next to him and Ichigo turned to look.
He didn't have the chance to see the result. His mask finally breaking, Ichigo fell to the ground, exhausted and unconscious.
…
"He's right, you know," Renji said, his voice clear and sober though they had consumed several jars of sake.
Ichigo was feeling slightly sick and way drunker than he had wanted to be. He felt pleasantly blurry and his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth more frequently than he liked--all in all it wasn't at bad feeling. At least Renji had been smart enough to avoid the topic. Until now.
"Ung?" he said incoherently.
"Grimmjow, he's right. He is Grimmjow, arrogant bastard that he's always been."
"No," Ichigo shook his head to empathise the denial, a wave of dizziness hitting him at the sudden move. "Grimmjow's dead, Tousen killed him."
"You're more of an idiot than I ever imagined," Renji sighed. "I heard you before and it wasn't your fault!" He rolled his eyes, mumbling. "I should have guessed; you and that guilty complex you like to carry around. I swear you're worse than Rukia."
"He turned because of me," Ichigo insisted.
Renji threw up his hands in exasperation. "Get this through your thick head, Ichigo. We were at war and Grimmjow was the enemy. He turned because he wanted to, and if he hadn't he would have died anyway. At your hands probably. At ours most definitely."
Ichigo blinked slowly, what Renji was saying had a ring of truth in it but he couldn't completely understand it in his current state.
"You being lovers probably saved him from a true death, or have you failed to notice there are no other cleansed Espada around?"
"Not lovers," Ichigo insisted.
Renji snorted. "Say what you want, you were lovers and you've been grieving. And now, you're acting like an idiot."
Renji stood up and walked to the door. "I have to go home before Rukia decides to come looking for me and beats the shit out of you for being a moron. Go to sleep, Ichigo, and think about what I said. Find Grimmjow and fuck him or let him fuck you, whichever you prefer. But do something!"
With that he was gone, only the echo of his words repeating again and again in Ichigo's head until he passed out.
…
Everything was over when Ichigo returned to consciousness.
Las Noches was nothing but a pile of rubble and sand in the middle of the endless desert that was Hueco Mundo. As if it had never existed.
The list of casualties was long, longer than expected; around him were only weary faces and tears of sorrow. Four Taichous had given their lives in the battle, six fukutaichous had also lost theirs and even two visored had died killing Aizen. The number of seated officers and other Shinigami lost didn't bear counting.
Of the Espada none were standing.
Ichigo closed his eyes, refusing to think about him. Not now. Possibly not ever.
He looked for his friends, glad to see they were still alive. Renji and Rukia were hugging tightly, all the things they had wanted to say to each other finally spilling from their tired hearts.
Chad and Ishida were helping tend the injured, both of them clearly exhausted but unharmed.
Orihime was crying quietly in a corner, the weight of all the people she couldn't save crushing her. Ichigo approached her and looked at the body she was kneeling next to.
A feeling of unreality hit him then seeing his face staring emptily at the sky.
"What?" he asked confused.
Inoue turned around to look at him. "They got your family, Kurosaki-kun, and your body--you can't come back."
…
Ichigo woke up with a pounding headache and the feeling something had died in his mouth. Damned Renji and his cheap sake, he wanted to curl in a corner and ditch all his work for the day. But he couldn't, there was a meeting scheduled for that morning and though Ukitake-soutaichou was more relaxed than Yamamoto had ever been Ichigo didn't want to be on his bad books.
He dragged himself out of bed and into the shower by sheer willpower, the worst hangover of his life and a thousand unwelcome thoughts making him whish the day was over before it had even begun.
Renji and Rukia were right, galling as it was to admit it. He needed to confront his feelings and either forget about Grimmjow once and for all or find the bastard and let him back into his life.
He wasn't sure which prospect was less appealing right now.
He got out of the shower and got dressed, still considering what to do. Grimmjow--and he had to admit he really was Grimmjow--was a sadistic bastard, arrogant and foul mouthed. He was violent, cocky and rude, and had no respect for other people's privacy and feelings. All things considered, he was the worst partner anyone with half a brain could ever choose.
He was also the one Ichigo had chosen. If he had been unable to forget about him in half a century believing he was dead, there was no way he could do it now knowing he was alive.
It was a no-brainer, really.
His mind made up, Ichigo donned his haori and grabbed his sword, ready to face the day.
…
Grimmjow had been seriously considering going back to Kurosaki-taichou's room and beat the shit out of him, when a tattooed guy appeared at the Academy. He wore the insignia of the Fifth Division's fukutaichou. Kurosaki's Division.
He located Grimmjow in a second and walked up to him.
"Grimmjow Jaggerjack," the guy said loud and clear staring at him disapprovingly. Grimmjow almost groaned; every eye around fixed on him. He could hear the whispers beginning around them. "Kurosaki-taichou wants to speak to you. Please come with me."
"Did he say Grimmjow?"
"Grimmjow? Isn't he Mizuiro?"
"Wasn't Grimmjow one of Aizen's Espada?"
He glared at the people in the class before leaving, following the fukutaichou without a word. He would find out what was that about when he was with Kurosaki.
They walked for sometime in silence, bypassing the Fifth Division Taisha and the rest of the Shinigami buildings in Seiretei, their destination obvious as they approached the execution grounds. Grimmjow wondered why he was being led that way while they descended before reaching the hill, following some steps hidden on the ground.
"You can leave, Rikichi," Kurosaki said when the two of them reached the bottom.
The guy nodded and flash-stepped out of there leaving Grimmjow and Kurosaki alone.
"You called, Kurosaki-taichou?" Grimmjow asked mockingly eyeing Ichigo. He wasn't wearing his haori and he had his sword in his hand, unwrapped and ready to strike. "Did you want to talk to me?" Though it was clear conversation wasn't what Ichigo had in mind.
Ichigo smirked. "No, talking never did us any good in the past."
That worked for Grimmjow, he unsheathed his sword and pounced, intent on taking any advantage he could get in the fight. Ichigo blocked him, parrying with that ridiculously huge sword of his and moving swiftly to his back, trying to take him by surprise.
Grimmjow twisted round, dodging the blow and countering with a kick that forced Ichigo to retreat a couple of steps. "This is what you wanted, to fight?" he asked, grinning. He felt good fighting Ichigo, felt right, images of half forgotten dreams superimposing in his mind.
"No, I don't want to fight either," Ichigo said attacking again.
Grimmjow laughed at the incongruous answer. "What do you call this then?"
In a second Ichigo was standing in front of him, their faces mere inches apart. "Foreplay," he replied before putting a hand on the back of Grimmjow's neck and pressing their lips together.
Grimmjow let go of his sword, the clatter when it hit the ground doubled by Ichigo's next to it. He put his hands around Ichigo's waist and wrestled him to the ground, both of them rolling on the hard sand, their mouths still locked.
He couldn't understand it. A couple of days before Kurosaki had been adamant in his rejection, and now--now he practically jumped him. Not that he was going to complain, far from it. He could fuck Ichigo now and ask the questions later, either way he was getting what he wanted.
Ichigo came on top, straddling Grimmjow's waist while his mouth moved down, kissing and licking his neck, his hands busy undoing his student's blue uniform. Grimmjow's hands weren't idle either; he undid the sash of Ichigo's hakama and began undressing him as well, his hands itching to touch him.
"No scar," Ichigo mumbled against the skin of his chest, his tongue licking a trail down to his navel, "no hole either. Pity."
Grimmjow was going to ask what he meant but his voice trailed off in a moan as Ichigo scooted further down, swallowing him.
"Fuck!" he groaned, his hands instinctively moving down to grip the orange spikes. He thrust up into the willing mouth, unable to stop himself and not overly concerned about protocol or good manners. Somehow he knew Ichigo wouldn't mind, not if what he could remember of their previous relationship was right. Ichigo let him do it for a minute before putting his hands on Grimmjow's hips and holding him firmly against the ground, his mouth moving up and down Grimmjow's cock at a slower pace.
It was maddening, all that suction and pressure and the warm wetness and the bastard was keeping it slow enough for Grimmjow to be impossible to come. With an annoyed growl, Grimmjow pulled at Ichigo's head, forcing him to stop what he was doing. Ichigo looked at him with a smirk and Grimmjow couldn't help himself, he pulled him up and kissed his swollen lips, rolling them until Ichigo was where he should be: under him.
Ichigo laughed against his mouth, spreading his legs to let Grimmjow settle there and grind their crotches together. "I'm going to fuck you now," Grimmjow said moving his lips to bite his ear.
Ichigo moaned, pushing his hips up. "What makes you think I'm not the one who's going to fuck you, Grimmjow?"
Grimmjow laughed, biting harder. "I can remember at least that much. You like it this way."
Ichigo didn't bother denying it, not that it would have done it any good. They kissed fiercely, tongues and mouths and teeth clashing, trying to devour each other while they rutted on the ground, their breaths mingling in harsh pants.
"If you're going to fuck me, Grimmjow," Ichigo finally said breathlessly, "fuck me now."
Grimmjow didn't need to be told twice; he positioned himself and pushed slightly inside. Ichigo stiffened under him.
"Fuck, it's been too long to do it like this," Ichigo said through gritted teeth, his voice laced with pain. Grimmjow kept pushing inside, slower than he would have done otherwise but not stopping.
Ichigo breathed thought his slightly parted mouth, riding the pain with his eyes screwed shut. Grimmjow felt him shake under him, his obvious discomfort doing nothing to help him keep steady. He wanted to pound into him and make him scream like he had seen in his dreams.
"What are you waiting for, a formal invitation?" Ichigo said opening his eyes when Grimmjow stilled, fully sheathed inside.
Chuckling Grimmjow began to move, thrusting forcefully inside Ichigo's tight body. Ichigo moaned, his nails digging into Grimmjow's bare back painfully.
"Fuck, it hurts!" he said, pushing up to meet Grimmjow's thrust.
Another laugh. "Yes, and you love it."
Ichigo glared at him but didn't say anything, his eyes closing again when Grimmjow angled up, hitting his prostate with the next thrust. His hands grabbed Grimmjow's head and pushed his head down, kissing him and biting his lips until they could taste blood. Inflamed by the taste, Grimmjow moved faster, pounding into him.
Ichigo came with a groan, his body arching up and tensing under Grimmjow, the pressure too much for him to hold out any longer. A couple more thrusts and Grimmjow was coming, his climax bringing with it a familiar and unwelcome feeling.
Oh fuck. No way.
He finally understood everything, his eyes narrowing and his lips pressing together to keep the terrible words from spilling. He saw Ichigo's lips thinning in the same manner, his expression chagrined.
Grimmjow withdrew and flopped on to the ground next to Ichigo, staring at the false sky in that strange place.
"I was going to ask you what all this was about," he finally said not looking at Ichigo, "but I think I don't want to know."
He heard a laugh coming from his side and risked a quick glance, Ichigo had his eyes closed, his naked body sprawled on the ground covered in scars and semen. He wondered which of those scars he had put there before and wanted to put more, to mark him with fresh ones.
"You know you won't remember everything," Ichigo said after a while, opening his eyes. Grimmjow shrugged.
"It doesn’t matter, does it?"
"No. You're Grimmjow, whether you remember or not."
They stayed like that, letting the fake sun warm them. At some point Ichigo climbed on top of him and ground against his cock making Grimmjow hard again, impaling himself and riding him furiously, both of them breathless and panting with exhaustion when it was over.
"Let's get out of here before Renji and Rukia decide to look for us in case we have killed each other," Ichigo said standing up and putting his clothes back on.
Grimmjow looked at him from the ground, his lips curving in a smirk. "That wouldn't be so bad, you know."
Ichigo looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I'd rather fuck you than kill you, Grimmjow," he said before flash-stepping out of there.
"Yeah, me too," he said to no one in particular.
That was as romantic a declaration as they were ever going to say out loud.
…
Epilogue:
Ichigo looked up from the file he was reading at the sound of his door opening. There were only two people in the whole Soul Society who dared enter his office without knocking, and he wasn't expecting a visit from either of them.
Grimmjow was standing at the door, his new uniform looking surprisingly well on him. After dressing all in white, black seemed to suit him as well. Pity it covered his chest.
"It's finally over," he said sitting on a corner of Ichigo's desk. "Fucking Academy and fucking lessons, I'm glad I won't have to go back ever again."
"What are you doing here, Grimmjow?" he asked wearily. Grimmjow had gotten into the habit of pestering him while he worked, trying to provoke him into leaving the office for a shag or a fight or both. Ichigo usually gave in, which was the reason he was so behind his paperwork.
He didn't need another scolding from Ukitake-soutaichou.
"I didn't get a request to join your Division, Ichigo," Grimmjow said.
Ichigo shrugged. "That's because I don't want you in my Division."
Grimmjow glared at him. "Why, I'm strong enough to be here."
Ichigo glared back. "You suck at kidou and have an attitude problem. Don't respect the authority and antagonise your peers and superiors. And my fukutaichou hates you. Why would I want you here? You're perfect for the Eleventh."
"Your fukutaichou hates me because he wants to be the one fucking you, Ichigo," Grimmjow laughed, climbing down from the desk and circling around him, settling at his back.
"Go away, Grimmjow and report to the Eleventh. They want you, I don't."
Chuckling, Grimmjow leaned down to bite the nape of his neck. Ichigo shuddered. "You want me, don't lie."
"Not in my Division," he insisted.
A hand sneaked round his wait and settled on top of his hakama clad cock, Ichigo was instantly hard. "I could do this every day," Grimmjow said, his lips moving along his neck, his hand pressing down.
Ichigo sighed in defeat, tilting his head back to grant him better access, his hands dropping the file on top of the desk.
The door opened again. "Ichigo you bastard, you've forgo--" Renji's loud voice reached them from the door and Ichigo snapped back into the present, flushing.
Grimmjow didn't even had the grace to look ashamed. "I'll go now, Kurosaki-taichou, you have somewhere else to go."
He laughed on the way out, ignoring Renji's glare and Ichigo's embarrassed mutters.
Taking a deep breath Ichigo stood up, grabbing his haori. "Right, Academy, I forgot again." He took his sword and pushed past the frozen Renji. "Not a fucking word, Renji. I remind you this was your idea."
Renji opened his mouth, thought better of it and followed Ichigo, closing it.
Next time he would make sure to knock.
…
~Fin~
Author: aviss
Pairing: Grimmjow/Ichigo
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~ 5.000
Summary: Long time after the war someone from the past reappears to throw Ichigo's life into chaos.
Part I
The other side of the moon
Part II
The training exercise in Earth had been sheer torture, and this time Renji was definitely the one to blame. The fucking bastard had included Grimmjow in Ichigo's group, obviously his way of telling Ichigo he couldn't hide or run away from this particular problem.
Ichigo didn't doubt whose idea had been in the first place, but it was easier blaming Renji than Rukia, so he glared at him on their way back from the Academy after leaving the students there.
He had not been terribly surprised when they went to pick up the recruits and he'd seen Grimmjow there, staring at him with that smug expression he remembered so well. He had known his friends weren't going to leave well enough alone.
"He's the best of his class," Renji had simply said, trying to conceal a smirk of his own. Ichigo had never felt so much like killing him.
But he was the best of his class, that much was clear. Grimmjow's kidou was weak but his swordsmanship and fighting skills were on a complete different level than the rest. He also was the only other student with Shikai.
He had kept his distance; just looking at Ichigo and waiting, but it had proven enough of a distraction just to have him there. When the attack from the Hollows came Ichigo felt almost relieved to have something else to occupy his mind.
Ichigo had taken a step back, ordering the students to surround the three Hollows and observing them.
Grimmjow, the show off, had released immediately.
"Kishire, Pantera."
Ichigo had reacted to those words, and in a way he hoped wasn't obvious to the rest of the group. That Grimmjow's zanpakutou was called exactly the same as before was only proof that with or without his memories the bastard was still Grimmjow no matter how much Ichigo refused to acknowledge the fact.
He had watched him fight against the Hollow, slicing it with an economy of movements and a speed clearly displayed sorely to impress him. He was impressed. And hard--damn his body for being so attuned to the bastard.
Ichigo couldn't wait for the exercise to be over so he could go back to his rooms and deal with his problem.
They had been the first group to finish, Ichigo making sure to keep the rest of the students between Grimmjow and he. He wouldn't put it past the bastard to realize the effect he had on Ichigo's body and take advantage of it. He really didn't need to put on another show in front of the students and his self-control was at an all-time's low.
But Grimmjow had behaved strangely well, making Ichigo even more nervous. He had been glad when Renji's group joined them and they went back to Soul Society.
Ichigo opened the door to his room with a relieved sigh, hoping to be granted a few minutes privacy before Rikichi came to give him the day's report. An empty hope, he realized seeing who was waiting for him inside.
How the bastard had arrived before Ichigo was a mystery.
He closed the door, leaning wearily against it. "What are you doing here, Grimmjow?"
"I dreamed of you again."
Of all the things Grimmjow could have said, that one he would have never expected. "What?" He asked dumbly.
"The only things I remember from my past life are the dreams, and you are always in them. Why? Why you? Why not Aizen or the other Espada?"
Ichigo didn't know what to say. He shook his head. "I've no idea, Grimmjow. People usually don't remember or dream about the past here. Why you do, I don't know." But he did, or at least he suspected. Only it was ridiculous--there had been no feelings involved in his relationship with Grimmjow before.
Grimmjow stood and walked up to him. "I think you do. Don't you want to know what the dream was about?"
Ichigo shrugged trying to look uninterested. His body was betraying him again, but he would be damned before he let it show in front of this guy. "A fight, probably."
Grimmjow laughed. "You could call it that way, I guess." He took another step forward, his body so close to Ichigo he could feel the heat radiating from it. "It was because of you, wasn't it? I turned against Aizen for you."
"No," Ichigo lied, his voice rasping. He couldn't think clearly with Grimmjow so close to him and his raging arousal.
Grimmjow chuckled, the sound low and deep forcing Ichigo to suppress a shudder. "You're lying," he closed the distance between them, his head tilting to the side so he could whisper in Ichigo's ear, their bodies pressed against each other. "We weren't just enemies, we were more. That's the missing piece, that's what my dreams have been telling me all this time." He pushed his hips up and Ichigo could feel Grimmjow's arousal colliding with his own straining cock. He bit back a moan, holding tightly on to his frayed control.
"What are you talking about, Grimmjow?" he managed to ground out between clenched teeth.
Grimmjow didn't reply, instead he ground harder against Ichigo, his lips moving from his ear to his neck, biting. Ichigo couldn't help himself; he pushed back closing his eyes, a moan stuck on his throat.
"We were lovers, weren't we, Ichigo?"
That did it. His eyes snapping open, Ichigo put his hands on Grimmjow's chest and pushed him away. Hard. He took a deep breath to compose himself, glaring at the fallen Grimmjow.
"Lovers?" he laughed harshly. "Love had nothing to do with it. We fought, we fucked, and then we fought some more. That's what we did and I don't intend to repeat the same mistakes again."
Grimmjow narrowed his eyes, glaring at Ichigo. "Right, so we fight first if you want it that way," he said standing up and launching himself at Ichigo.
Ichigo blocked him easily, gripping his arm and shoving him against a wall, trapping him there with his body. "We're not fighting, Mizuiro-kun, and we're definitely not fucking," he said, using the name he so hated just to drive the point home. "You're forgetting you're not an Espada anymore. Grimmjow might have been on equal grounds with me, but you're not."
Grimmjow struggled, almost managing to break free before Ichigo twisted his arm harder, forcing him to surrender or risk a fracture. "Fucking liar!" Grimmjow growled. "I've seen it, I've felt it. You want me."
Ichigo let go of his arm and turned him around, his hand moving to the place where the bones used to be. "Not you, him."
There was no need to explain what he meant.
"I am Grimmjow."
"No, you're not. He's dead. He died for me."
They stayed like that for a few seconds, both of them staring speechless at each other. Ichigo couldn't believe the words that had just escaped his lips, and he would give anything to take them back, to take the knowledge of their truth out of his heart.
He was happier in denial.
He let go of Grimmjow and retreated to the other side of the room. "Go away and don't come back."
Grimmjow looked like he wanted to protest; Ichigo grabbed his sword and unwrapped it, pointing it at his throat. "Fuck off from here; I'm not in the mood right now."
With a final glare, Grimmjow opened the door and almost collided with Renji, who had just arrived. Ichigo looked at his friend and put Zangetsu back in its place.
Renji looked at him taking stock of the situation and rolled his eyes. "Sake?" he asked materializing a jar from god-knows-where.
…
He had been so close.
The fucking coward!
Grimmjow seethed on his way back to his room in the Academy, his mind replaying the last scene again and again.
He had suspected since the previous conversation the connection he had with Ichigo, but with nothing to prove it even to himself he wasn't going to say anything. He had waited years to learn about his past, he could wait a few days more.
Then came the dreams. More vivid and real than any he had before. And in all of them appeared Ichigo. Fights, blood and more violence Grimmjow had ever seen. Dreams of war and destruction, and him standing next to Ichigo, fighting with him, fighting against him.
And the last one, the one that made the missing piece fall into place. There had been an Espada dead on the ground, a horned mask covering half his head and Ichigo bloodied and half dead also lying on the ground. A girl was next to him, something like a field of light covering Ichigo and making his wounds disappear.
"Inoue, please heal him as well," Ichigo had said signalling at Grimmjow when the girl was finished with him. She nodded reluctantly and moved to Grimmjow, the field of light spreading around him and healing his also beaten body.
"I'm going to check on the rest of the group, Kurosaki-kun. See if someone else needs to be healed," she said, looking between Ichigo and Grimmjow with a sad expression before leaving them alone.
"It's the second time I save your arse, Shinigami," he said stalking towards Ichigo.
"I could deal with Ulquiorra on my own, Grimmjow," Ichigo said, shrugging. He grabbed the front of Grimmjow's jacket and pulled him close, "You just wanted to take him on." He pressed their mouths together while Grimmjow laughed, pushing him against a nearby wall and grinding against his body.
"Yeah, you're right."
They tore their clothes apart in their eagerness to get undressed, biting and scratching and almost undoing all the girl's work healing them. Ichigo turned to face the wall, bracing his hands against it.
"Fuck me now, Grimmjow," he said.
Grimmjow woke up in that moment, all the doubts he had before gone now.
He had thought confronting Ichigo would get him the results the expected, but he had been disappointed. Worse than being rejected, he had been clearly shown he wasn't strong enough to do anything about it.
Grimmjow didn't know if he was furious with Kurosaki or himself for not being able to beat the truth out of the fucker.
But he had reacted to Grimmjow. His body had responded, eyes completely unfocused and ragged breath, trying to get closer and far away from Grimmjow at the same time. And those low sounds Ichigo didn't seem to be aware he was making--Grimmjow had wanted to take him there and then, had wanted him more than anything in his life.
He may have been forced to leave this time, but he wasn't going to quit. He would make Kurosaki Ichigo his, like he was supposed to be. Like he was before.
…
The rational part of his mind was telling Ichigo he was in no state to take on Tousen. The rest of his mind was drowning in a sea of fury and despair, thinking of things unsaid and the lost chance of ever saying them.
All because of this man.
Ichigo attacked relentlessly with a power he didn't know he possessed before, his mask holding in place when common sense dictated it should have been destroyed before.
The arrival of Shinji and the visored was timely, giving Ichigo the chance to fight against the one he wanted to kill more than anything right now without worrying about Aizen.
Grimmjow had done a good job fighting Tousen, Ichigo noticed seeing the blood dripping from his sword hand and the way he favoured his right leg when moving.
A cero was shot to his right, the ground shaking and a piercing shout splitting the air. Ichigo didn't know what was happening in that corner, his mind focused only in his current enemy, but it gave him an idea. Splaying his hand like he had seen Grimmjow do several times, Ichigo focused all his energy and shot his own cero at Tousen, following it with the black Getsuga, putting all his remaining energy on those attacks.
He felt them connect with their target, Tousen keeping silent even in the face of death.
Another explosion shook the ground next to him and Ichigo turned to look.
He didn't have the chance to see the result. His mask finally breaking, Ichigo fell to the ground, exhausted and unconscious.
…
"He's right, you know," Renji said, his voice clear and sober though they had consumed several jars of sake.
Ichigo was feeling slightly sick and way drunker than he had wanted to be. He felt pleasantly blurry and his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth more frequently than he liked--all in all it wasn't at bad feeling. At least Renji had been smart enough to avoid the topic. Until now.
"Ung?" he said incoherently.
"Grimmjow, he's right. He is Grimmjow, arrogant bastard that he's always been."
"No," Ichigo shook his head to empathise the denial, a wave of dizziness hitting him at the sudden move. "Grimmjow's dead, Tousen killed him."
"You're more of an idiot than I ever imagined," Renji sighed. "I heard you before and it wasn't your fault!" He rolled his eyes, mumbling. "I should have guessed; you and that guilty complex you like to carry around. I swear you're worse than Rukia."
"He turned because of me," Ichigo insisted.
Renji threw up his hands in exasperation. "Get this through your thick head, Ichigo. We were at war and Grimmjow was the enemy. He turned because he wanted to, and if he hadn't he would have died anyway. At your hands probably. At ours most definitely."
Ichigo blinked slowly, what Renji was saying had a ring of truth in it but he couldn't completely understand it in his current state.
"You being lovers probably saved him from a true death, or have you failed to notice there are no other cleansed Espada around?"
"Not lovers," Ichigo insisted.
Renji snorted. "Say what you want, you were lovers and you've been grieving. And now, you're acting like an idiot."
Renji stood up and walked to the door. "I have to go home before Rukia decides to come looking for me and beats the shit out of you for being a moron. Go to sleep, Ichigo, and think about what I said. Find Grimmjow and fuck him or let him fuck you, whichever you prefer. But do something!"
With that he was gone, only the echo of his words repeating again and again in Ichigo's head until he passed out.
…
Everything was over when Ichigo returned to consciousness.
Las Noches was nothing but a pile of rubble and sand in the middle of the endless desert that was Hueco Mundo. As if it had never existed.
The list of casualties was long, longer than expected; around him were only weary faces and tears of sorrow. Four Taichous had given their lives in the battle, six fukutaichous had also lost theirs and even two visored had died killing Aizen. The number of seated officers and other Shinigami lost didn't bear counting.
Of the Espada none were standing.
Ichigo closed his eyes, refusing to think about him. Not now. Possibly not ever.
He looked for his friends, glad to see they were still alive. Renji and Rukia were hugging tightly, all the things they had wanted to say to each other finally spilling from their tired hearts.
Chad and Ishida were helping tend the injured, both of them clearly exhausted but unharmed.
Orihime was crying quietly in a corner, the weight of all the people she couldn't save crushing her. Ichigo approached her and looked at the body she was kneeling next to.
A feeling of unreality hit him then seeing his face staring emptily at the sky.
"What?" he asked confused.
Inoue turned around to look at him. "They got your family, Kurosaki-kun, and your body--you can't come back."
…
Ichigo woke up with a pounding headache and the feeling something had died in his mouth. Damned Renji and his cheap sake, he wanted to curl in a corner and ditch all his work for the day. But he couldn't, there was a meeting scheduled for that morning and though Ukitake-soutaichou was more relaxed than Yamamoto had ever been Ichigo didn't want to be on his bad books.
He dragged himself out of bed and into the shower by sheer willpower, the worst hangover of his life and a thousand unwelcome thoughts making him whish the day was over before it had even begun.
Renji and Rukia were right, galling as it was to admit it. He needed to confront his feelings and either forget about Grimmjow once and for all or find the bastard and let him back into his life.
He wasn't sure which prospect was less appealing right now.
He got out of the shower and got dressed, still considering what to do. Grimmjow--and he had to admit he really was Grimmjow--was a sadistic bastard, arrogant and foul mouthed. He was violent, cocky and rude, and had no respect for other people's privacy and feelings. All things considered, he was the worst partner anyone with half a brain could ever choose.
He was also the one Ichigo had chosen. If he had been unable to forget about him in half a century believing he was dead, there was no way he could do it now knowing he was alive.
It was a no-brainer, really.
His mind made up, Ichigo donned his haori and grabbed his sword, ready to face the day.
…
Grimmjow had been seriously considering going back to Kurosaki-taichou's room and beat the shit out of him, when a tattooed guy appeared at the Academy. He wore the insignia of the Fifth Division's fukutaichou. Kurosaki's Division.
He located Grimmjow in a second and walked up to him.
"Grimmjow Jaggerjack," the guy said loud and clear staring at him disapprovingly. Grimmjow almost groaned; every eye around fixed on him. He could hear the whispers beginning around them. "Kurosaki-taichou wants to speak to you. Please come with me."
"Did he say Grimmjow?"
"Grimmjow? Isn't he Mizuiro?"
"Wasn't Grimmjow one of Aizen's Espada?"
He glared at the people in the class before leaving, following the fukutaichou without a word. He would find out what was that about when he was with Kurosaki.
They walked for sometime in silence, bypassing the Fifth Division Taisha and the rest of the Shinigami buildings in Seiretei, their destination obvious as they approached the execution grounds. Grimmjow wondered why he was being led that way while they descended before reaching the hill, following some steps hidden on the ground.
"You can leave, Rikichi," Kurosaki said when the two of them reached the bottom.
The guy nodded and flash-stepped out of there leaving Grimmjow and Kurosaki alone.
"You called, Kurosaki-taichou?" Grimmjow asked mockingly eyeing Ichigo. He wasn't wearing his haori and he had his sword in his hand, unwrapped and ready to strike. "Did you want to talk to me?" Though it was clear conversation wasn't what Ichigo had in mind.
Ichigo smirked. "No, talking never did us any good in the past."
That worked for Grimmjow, he unsheathed his sword and pounced, intent on taking any advantage he could get in the fight. Ichigo blocked him, parrying with that ridiculously huge sword of his and moving swiftly to his back, trying to take him by surprise.
Grimmjow twisted round, dodging the blow and countering with a kick that forced Ichigo to retreat a couple of steps. "This is what you wanted, to fight?" he asked, grinning. He felt good fighting Ichigo, felt right, images of half forgotten dreams superimposing in his mind.
"No, I don't want to fight either," Ichigo said attacking again.
Grimmjow laughed at the incongruous answer. "What do you call this then?"
In a second Ichigo was standing in front of him, their faces mere inches apart. "Foreplay," he replied before putting a hand on the back of Grimmjow's neck and pressing their lips together.
Grimmjow let go of his sword, the clatter when it hit the ground doubled by Ichigo's next to it. He put his hands around Ichigo's waist and wrestled him to the ground, both of them rolling on the hard sand, their mouths still locked.
He couldn't understand it. A couple of days before Kurosaki had been adamant in his rejection, and now--now he practically jumped him. Not that he was going to complain, far from it. He could fuck Ichigo now and ask the questions later, either way he was getting what he wanted.
Ichigo came on top, straddling Grimmjow's waist while his mouth moved down, kissing and licking his neck, his hands busy undoing his student's blue uniform. Grimmjow's hands weren't idle either; he undid the sash of Ichigo's hakama and began undressing him as well, his hands itching to touch him.
"No scar," Ichigo mumbled against the skin of his chest, his tongue licking a trail down to his navel, "no hole either. Pity."
Grimmjow was going to ask what he meant but his voice trailed off in a moan as Ichigo scooted further down, swallowing him.
"Fuck!" he groaned, his hands instinctively moving down to grip the orange spikes. He thrust up into the willing mouth, unable to stop himself and not overly concerned about protocol or good manners. Somehow he knew Ichigo wouldn't mind, not if what he could remember of their previous relationship was right. Ichigo let him do it for a minute before putting his hands on Grimmjow's hips and holding him firmly against the ground, his mouth moving up and down Grimmjow's cock at a slower pace.
It was maddening, all that suction and pressure and the warm wetness and the bastard was keeping it slow enough for Grimmjow to be impossible to come. With an annoyed growl, Grimmjow pulled at Ichigo's head, forcing him to stop what he was doing. Ichigo looked at him with a smirk and Grimmjow couldn't help himself, he pulled him up and kissed his swollen lips, rolling them until Ichigo was where he should be: under him.
Ichigo laughed against his mouth, spreading his legs to let Grimmjow settle there and grind their crotches together. "I'm going to fuck you now," Grimmjow said moving his lips to bite his ear.
Ichigo moaned, pushing his hips up. "What makes you think I'm not the one who's going to fuck you, Grimmjow?"
Grimmjow laughed, biting harder. "I can remember at least that much. You like it this way."
Ichigo didn't bother denying it, not that it would have done it any good. They kissed fiercely, tongues and mouths and teeth clashing, trying to devour each other while they rutted on the ground, their breaths mingling in harsh pants.
"If you're going to fuck me, Grimmjow," Ichigo finally said breathlessly, "fuck me now."
Grimmjow didn't need to be told twice; he positioned himself and pushed slightly inside. Ichigo stiffened under him.
"Fuck, it's been too long to do it like this," Ichigo said through gritted teeth, his voice laced with pain. Grimmjow kept pushing inside, slower than he would have done otherwise but not stopping.
Ichigo breathed thought his slightly parted mouth, riding the pain with his eyes screwed shut. Grimmjow felt him shake under him, his obvious discomfort doing nothing to help him keep steady. He wanted to pound into him and make him scream like he had seen in his dreams.
"What are you waiting for, a formal invitation?" Ichigo said opening his eyes when Grimmjow stilled, fully sheathed inside.
Chuckling Grimmjow began to move, thrusting forcefully inside Ichigo's tight body. Ichigo moaned, his nails digging into Grimmjow's bare back painfully.
"Fuck, it hurts!" he said, pushing up to meet Grimmjow's thrust.
Another laugh. "Yes, and you love it."
Ichigo glared at him but didn't say anything, his eyes closing again when Grimmjow angled up, hitting his prostate with the next thrust. His hands grabbed Grimmjow's head and pushed his head down, kissing him and biting his lips until they could taste blood. Inflamed by the taste, Grimmjow moved faster, pounding into him.
Ichigo came with a groan, his body arching up and tensing under Grimmjow, the pressure too much for him to hold out any longer. A couple more thrusts and Grimmjow was coming, his climax bringing with it a familiar and unwelcome feeling.
Oh fuck. No way.
He finally understood everything, his eyes narrowing and his lips pressing together to keep the terrible words from spilling. He saw Ichigo's lips thinning in the same manner, his expression chagrined.
Grimmjow withdrew and flopped on to the ground next to Ichigo, staring at the false sky in that strange place.
"I was going to ask you what all this was about," he finally said not looking at Ichigo, "but I think I don't want to know."
He heard a laugh coming from his side and risked a quick glance, Ichigo had his eyes closed, his naked body sprawled on the ground covered in scars and semen. He wondered which of those scars he had put there before and wanted to put more, to mark him with fresh ones.
"You know you won't remember everything," Ichigo said after a while, opening his eyes. Grimmjow shrugged.
"It doesn’t matter, does it?"
"No. You're Grimmjow, whether you remember or not."
They stayed like that, letting the fake sun warm them. At some point Ichigo climbed on top of him and ground against his cock making Grimmjow hard again, impaling himself and riding him furiously, both of them breathless and panting with exhaustion when it was over.
"Let's get out of here before Renji and Rukia decide to look for us in case we have killed each other," Ichigo said standing up and putting his clothes back on.
Grimmjow looked at him from the ground, his lips curving in a smirk. "That wouldn't be so bad, you know."
Ichigo looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I'd rather fuck you than kill you, Grimmjow," he said before flash-stepping out of there.
"Yeah, me too," he said to no one in particular.
That was as romantic a declaration as they were ever going to say out loud.
…
Epilogue:
Ichigo looked up from the file he was reading at the sound of his door opening. There were only two people in the whole Soul Society who dared enter his office without knocking, and he wasn't expecting a visit from either of them.
Grimmjow was standing at the door, his new uniform looking surprisingly well on him. After dressing all in white, black seemed to suit him as well. Pity it covered his chest.
"It's finally over," he said sitting on a corner of Ichigo's desk. "Fucking Academy and fucking lessons, I'm glad I won't have to go back ever again."
"What are you doing here, Grimmjow?" he asked wearily. Grimmjow had gotten into the habit of pestering him while he worked, trying to provoke him into leaving the office for a shag or a fight or both. Ichigo usually gave in, which was the reason he was so behind his paperwork.
He didn't need another scolding from Ukitake-soutaichou.
"I didn't get a request to join your Division, Ichigo," Grimmjow said.
Ichigo shrugged. "That's because I don't want you in my Division."
Grimmjow glared at him. "Why, I'm strong enough to be here."
Ichigo glared back. "You suck at kidou and have an attitude problem. Don't respect the authority and antagonise your peers and superiors. And my fukutaichou hates you. Why would I want you here? You're perfect for the Eleventh."
"Your fukutaichou hates me because he wants to be the one fucking you, Ichigo," Grimmjow laughed, climbing down from the desk and circling around him, settling at his back.
"Go away, Grimmjow and report to the Eleventh. They want you, I don't."
Chuckling, Grimmjow leaned down to bite the nape of his neck. Ichigo shuddered. "You want me, don't lie."
"Not in my Division," he insisted.
A hand sneaked round his wait and settled on top of his hakama clad cock, Ichigo was instantly hard. "I could do this every day," Grimmjow said, his lips moving along his neck, his hand pressing down.
Ichigo sighed in defeat, tilting his head back to grant him better access, his hands dropping the file on top of the desk.
The door opened again. "Ichigo you bastard, you've forgo--" Renji's loud voice reached them from the door and Ichigo snapped back into the present, flushing.
Grimmjow didn't even had the grace to look ashamed. "I'll go now, Kurosaki-taichou, you have somewhere else to go."
He laughed on the way out, ignoring Renji's glare and Ichigo's embarrassed mutters.
Taking a deep breath Ichigo stood up, grabbing his haori. "Right, Academy, I forgot again." He took his sword and pushed past the frozen Renji. "Not a fucking word, Renji. I remind you this was your idea."
Renji opened his mouth, thought better of it and followed Ichigo, closing it.
Next time he would make sure to knock.
…
~Fin~