Title: Games
Author:
avissPairing: Kakashi/Iruka
Rating: R
Warning: Infidelity
Summary: Some days he can't look at himself in the mirror.
Word count: ~500
Notes: Written for
kakairu_kink, for the request "
Infidelity". It turned out darker and sicker than I intended.
Games
Some days he can't look at himself in the mirror.
Iruka knows what he's doing it's wrong, but somehow there is no way to stop it, no way to avoid it. It's wrong, and it's painful, and it's breaking Yuki's heart. What's worse, it's breaking his own.
And still he does it, because it's wrong, and painful, and the best fucking thing that's ever happened to him.
And the worst.
"Iruka, you're far away from here," Yuki says, her soft voice sad and not accusing in the least.
She knows what's going on; she knows what he does on the days he's not really there, but she keeps on pretending things are the way they should be.
It makes Iruka feel worse.
"Sorry Yuki-chan, long day at the Academy," he says, trying a smile. It feels fake and stiff on his face, and the way Yuki looks at him tells him he's not fooling anyone.
She looks at the time and stands up, depositing a soft kiss on his lips. "I'll let you rest then," she smiles at him, and there is so much pain and pity in it Iruka feels like screaming. "I'll see you tomorrow."
He follows her to the door and closes it after her, knowing it will take for her five minutes to reach the corner to Ichiraku, and then five more until he gets there.
Iruka is ready for him when Kakashi arrives, no words of greeting are spoken before Kakashi has him against the wall, mouth hot and hard over Iruka's while his hands get rid of their clothes.
Iruka sighs, and groans, and arches into the touch, wanting more, needing more. He always wants more.
"You smell like her," Kakashi says against his throat, and his touch turns punishing, his kiss devouring. It's frantic and slightly painful from there, as if Kakashi wants to erase all traces of Yuki from Iruka's skin.
He knows that's not true, but he still chooses to believe so.
It's over sooner than Iruka likes, and Kakashi leaves immediately afterwards.
Iruka goes straight to the shower, avoiding his own reflection on the mirror, and tries to scrub Kakashi's smell off him, clean his touch and his kisses and his presence from his body.
It's useless, and he knows it.
Kakashi will stay for as long as Yuki does, not one day longer.
It's wrong, and it's painful. As it was with Reina, and with Mako before her. As it will be with the next one, when Yuki decides she's had enough of them and their sick games.
Some days Iruka hates himself so much he can't stand his reflection in the mirror.
He hopes the day will come when he hates Kakashi as well.
He hopes for the day he will no longer play.
...