These posts are "helping to shape hopelessness" for more than you and Jane. They're inspirational. I'm lost in admiration for some of the sheer poetry of what Jane says, and what you and she are doing together.
Seriously, my friend, you and she should publish some of this at sometime (and when you do, I'll buy 100 copies).
I was thinking the same thing, about publishing... you've got some pretty unique insights here, and I bet it would help a lot of people struggling to deal with the same circumstances. I'll buy it too!
It, indeed, would be good if Jane's experiences might help someone else. I know Jane would feel right about that, and she's said as much. REgarding publishing, you might want to see how I responded to grondifc. Right now, it's not just that I don't have time, but making this a focus doesn't feel right. And that gut feel is more than "aw shucks" & demurring. It takes it away from definite Jane & friends focus, where I very much feel it needs to be. Though, again, should this help someone else, that would be wonderful. That, however, must grow out of the first & central & deepest focus: connecting with our friends & their love, and better understanding Jane to better help her heal.
Jane & I are both gratified if her experiences can help others.
I, too, have often struck with how poetically, deeply expressive Jane's speech is. I'm still thinking & feeling about this -- about what these metaphors mean to her. There's something there, and I'll probably write, sometime, about it.
In terms of publishing, you're very kind. Our friend, Pat, the physical therapist, has encouraged us as well. Jane is interested. Me? I'm just getting through from day to day, trying to keep up & help out. Getting somehting published is a rather extensive operation, I suspect -- one I wouldn't know where to start, and have no time for starting anyway. And...
Hmmm. It's almost as if I start thinking in terms of "publishing", that might... well, lose something. This is about our sharing with our friends, about me trying to better understand, and so better help Jane. For now, that's not only all I have time for, but also all I want my focus to be on. If that makes sense.
And thanks, so much, for your kind support & caring.
Seriously, I'm not surprised that shopping is a little disorienting for Jane - just think of the amount of mental work that's involved by assessing the hundreds of products you're faced with. I usually need a strong coffee beforehand.
It's great to hear Jane's input! (Let us know if she does start writing about you, I for one would like to read it :-D)
I confess: avus is a toast thief. (I've never claimed sainthood.)
Yes, shopping is overwhelming, and it seems the best way to approach shopping, at least at first, isn't building from the bottom up with small details, as the dear behavioralist occupational therapists suggest, but more top town, feeling of familiarity & comfort. This seems to better help a more speedy return. Yes, behavioral, small chunks can & really should be folded into that. But at least for now, I don't think that's how it should first start.
And I may learn better.
Jane will certainly insist on her input about me. And if it's not too incriminating, I'll certainly include it. (Remember, a wife can't be forced testify against her husband.)
Thanks so much, dear jennanydots21, for reading & caring & responding.
Yes, I agree with what jennyanydots said about shopping; it's overwhelming for me sometimes to where I have to leave, and my husband hates shopping with me because I get bogged down looking at all the choices, and don't get me started on being around so many humans at once. So tell Jane that being able to go the grocery at all is a major achievement, seriously.
Also, your stealing Jane's toast made me laugh, because that's what my husband does if I don't eat fast enough too! And her putting her toes on the screen; I do that to my husband when he reads sometimes!
I will, indeed, dear super_pan, share with Jane that she's not alone. I suspect the more detail-oriented the person, the more shopping can be overwhelming, especially in strange-ish settings.
If your husband is too much like me, you have my sympathies. If you're too much like Jane, your husband has my congratulations; he's very lucky.
You tell that lovely lady who happens to be married to you (poor woman)...wemyssApril 18 2007, 16:39:37 UTC
... That it's perfectly fine to have a mind that feels like fish.
It's when it feels like chips, or, worse still, mushy peas, that you want to worry.
Awfully glad to see these regular and encouraging reports. Best of British luck to the both of you. And do keep an eye on your email in the next fortnight, I've something I'm finishing up that is for you and, especially, Jane.
Re: You tell that lovely lady who happens to be married to you (poor woman)...avusApril 18 2007, 20:37:56 UTC
Ah, dearest wemyss, I will certainly pass on your neuro-edible diagnostic schema. Should I worry, since my (alleged) brain has been mushy peas for years?
(When we were in England, about six years ago, we tried mushy peas in a pub, b/c we had heard about them. No offense, but it seems to be something of an acquired taste that hasn't made it over the pond. Undoubtedly our barbarism.)
And how kind of you to write something, I will, indeed, keep checking my email. I haven't been as good about that as I might be, so the reminder is appreciated.
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Seriously, my friend, you and she should publish some of this at sometime (and when you do, I'll buy 100 copies).
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And I'm probably over-thinking, as usual.
*grins*
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I, too, have often struck with how poetically, deeply expressive Jane's speech is. I'm still thinking & feeling about this -- about what these metaphors mean to her. There's something there, and I'll probably write, sometime, about it.
In terms of publishing, you're very kind. Our friend, Pat, the physical therapist, has encouraged us as well. Jane is interested. Me? I'm just getting through from day to day, trying to keep up & help out. Getting somehting published is a rather extensive operation, I suspect -- one I wouldn't know where to start, and have no time for starting anyway. And...
Hmmm. It's almost as if I start thinking in terms of "publishing", that might... well, lose something. This is about our sharing with our friends, about me trying to better understand, and so better help Jane. For now, that's not only all I have time for, but also all I want my focus to be on. If that makes sense.
And thanks, so much, for your kind support & caring.
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Seriously, I'm not surprised that shopping is a little disorienting for Jane - just think of the amount of mental work that's involved by assessing the hundreds of products you're faced with. I usually need a strong coffee beforehand.
It's great to hear Jane's input! (Let us know if she does start writing about you, I for one would like to read it :-D)
Reply
Yes, shopping is overwhelming, and it seems the best way to approach shopping, at least at first, isn't building from the bottom up with small details, as the dear behavioralist occupational therapists suggest, but more top town, feeling of familiarity & comfort. This seems to better help a more speedy return. Yes, behavioral, small chunks can & really should be folded into that. But at least for now, I don't think that's how it should first start.
And I may learn better.
Jane will certainly insist on her input about me. And if it's not too incriminating, I'll certainly include it. (Remember, a wife can't be forced testify against her husband.)
Thanks so much, dear jennanydots21, for reading & caring & responding.
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Also, your stealing Jane's toast made me laugh, because that's what my husband does if I don't eat fast enough too! And her putting her toes on the screen; I do that to my husband when he reads sometimes!
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If your husband is too much like me, you have my sympathies. If you're too much like Jane, your husband has my congratulations; he's very lucky.
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It's when it feels like chips, or, worse still, mushy peas, that you want to worry.
Awfully glad to see these regular and encouraging reports. Best of British luck to the both of you. And do keep an eye on your email in the next fortnight, I've something I'm finishing up that is for you and, especially, Jane.
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(When we were in England, about six years ago, we tried mushy peas in a pub, b/c we had heard about them. No offense, but it seems to be something of an acquired taste that hasn't made it over the pond. Undoubtedly our barbarism.)
And how kind of you to write something, I will, indeed, keep checking my email. I haven't been as good about that as I might be, so the reminder is appreciated.
Reply
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