http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41676

Well I have finally acheived my life's goal. No it is not what you are thinking, I cannot even get women to speak to me for longer than a month, and no I didn't even have to pay a "hussie" or "loose woman" for it (get your mind out of the gutter). It is not a boat or having kids or succeeding in the career of my choice. It is not vast amounts of ( Read more... )

So why I have a cell phone I will never know. Do I really need one? No. No I do not. Ok for instance, I left my darling cell phone at a friend's house tonight. Cell phones are sneaky. Having thought that I deposited this "friend" safely in my pocket, it then proceeded to stealthily stick its head out, check to see if the coast was clear and then it ( Read more... )