We are changed! We are bad-asses now!
[This Heroes review was done in real time.] Let me begin by saying, this show has become a clusterfuck of "deep" "secret" connections.
1. Hahahahaha, Mohinder can't narrate anymore because he's a crazy testosterone monster. Instead, we get Nathan Channelling Theresa of Avila. Good times.
2. Peter has gone from endearingly awkward to completely batshit insane. And Sylar is now a good person, just with the unfortunate side-effect of being occaisionally driven to drilling heads open? Neck-fixing effect was AMAZING, though. And it's good to see Angela Petrelli finally get completely freaked out.
3. I LOVE ADAM. And not even just because he's David Anders.
4. DAPHNE can talk to Linderman too? WTF.
5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. MOHINDER IS IN THE FILE WITH THE CREEPY BLACK GUY VILLAIN PETER GOT TANGLED WITH. SERVES YOU RIGHT, DUMBASS.
6. Mr. Bennet still remembers real Sylar!!! Yessssssssssss that is why he is my favorite!
7. Claire is retarded. Even her trailer trash, Mexico tourist mother is better at things. Also, Vortex Man is pwning her all over the place.
8. HOLY FUCK WHY IS MOHINDER'S VICTIM GUY IN A COCOON OF CRYSTALLIZED GOO? HE'S, LIKE, SHELOB-MAN. You know, as opposed to standard Spider-Man.
9. Claire + HRG + Sylar + Vortex Man = OMGx10000000000000000!
10. Adam drinks Appletinis. I can die happy.
11. Hiro and Ando are <3 today! Except for that little moment of extra fail in the bar...still not enough to negate the awesomeness of beaming Adam in and out of a coffin as a method of persuasion. As a general thing, though, do not approve of Hiro/Ando/Adam as comic relief.
12. Ut oh, Nathan. Saint complex just got ruined by the awful truth. Your mommy does not equal god. Therefore, your powers aren't given. Therefore you are actually just kind of a freak.
13. The Mia-Mohinder storyline is officially the worst turn Heroes has ever taken.
14. YES. FUCK YES. NATHAN TOLD ANGELA PETRELLI TO GO TO HELL. YES!!! ....NOOOOOO. DO NOT GO TO MOHINDER. BAD FRYING MAN.
15. Where did Sylar's super hearing go?! I mean, good try and all, Mr. B., but let's please not be retarded here.
16. RIP Vortex Man, my favorite one-episode wonder.
17. HOLY FUCK, HIRO JUST STABBED ANDO. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK.
18. I'm pretty sure the Sylar, HRG, Claire dynamic is the most brilliant thing Heroes has ever come up with. It almost makes up for the shitstorm the rest of this season has been.
19. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww creepy old puppetmaster man.
20. ANGELA PETRELLI FINALLY GOT OWNED. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODE FOR THREE YEARS. But holy SHIT, Papa Petrelli is the scariest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
21. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. LINDERMAN CANNOT HAVE PARKMAN. NO. (I knew Daphne was going to be an excellent character.) OH. Daddy Parkman. That makes sense. Because OH YEAH, NATHAN DID KNOW PARKMAN AND THAT SHIT. HOLY CRAP, IT IS ALL ACTUALLY COMING TOGETHER. HOW IN THE WORLD DOES HEROES MANAGE THAT? HOW DOES EVERYTHING ACTUALLY COME TOGETHER EVEN WHEN IT MAKES LESS THAN ZERO SENSE?!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand a final thought: Sylar > Peter every day of the week, but especially Monday.
In other news, I just saw THREE fucking campaign ads in a row. I seriously want to shoot myself. Also, I hate my English homework. I cannot possibly read and respond to two more of these ridiculous essays. And, as a closing note, product placement is freakin' weird.
1. Hahahahaha, Mohinder can't narrate anymore because he's a crazy testosterone monster. Instead, we get Nathan Channelling Theresa of Avila. Good times.
2. Peter has gone from endearingly awkward to completely batshit insane. And Sylar is now a good person, just with the unfortunate side-effect of being occaisionally driven to drilling heads open? Neck-fixing effect was AMAZING, though. And it's good to see Angela Petrelli finally get completely freaked out.
3. I LOVE ADAM. And not even just because he's David Anders.
4. DAPHNE can talk to Linderman too? WTF.
5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. MOHINDER IS IN THE FILE WITH THE CREEPY BLACK GUY VILLAIN PETER GOT TANGLED WITH. SERVES YOU RIGHT, DUMBASS.
6. Mr. Bennet still remembers real Sylar!!! Yessssssssssss that is why he is my favorite!
7. Claire is retarded. Even her trailer trash, Mexico tourist mother is better at things. Also, Vortex Man is pwning her all over the place.
8. HOLY FUCK WHY IS MOHINDER'S VICTIM GUY IN A COCOON OF CRYSTALLIZED GOO? HE'S, LIKE, SHELOB-MAN. You know, as opposed to standard Spider-Man.
9. Claire + HRG + Sylar + Vortex Man = OMGx10000000000000000!
10. Adam drinks Appletinis. I can die happy.
11. Hiro and Ando are <3 today! Except for that little moment of extra fail in the bar...still not enough to negate the awesomeness of beaming Adam in and out of a coffin as a method of persuasion. As a general thing, though, do not approve of Hiro/Ando/Adam as comic relief.
12. Ut oh, Nathan. Saint complex just got ruined by the awful truth. Your mommy does not equal god. Therefore, your powers aren't given. Therefore you are actually just kind of a freak.
13. The Mia-Mohinder storyline is officially the worst turn Heroes has ever taken.
14. YES. FUCK YES. NATHAN TOLD ANGELA PETRELLI TO GO TO HELL. YES!!! ....NOOOOOO. DO NOT GO TO MOHINDER. BAD FRYING MAN.
15. Where did Sylar's super hearing go?! I mean, good try and all, Mr. B., but let's please not be retarded here.
16. RIP Vortex Man, my favorite one-episode wonder.
17. HOLY FUCK, HIRO JUST STABBED ANDO. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK.
18. I'm pretty sure the Sylar, HRG, Claire dynamic is the most brilliant thing Heroes has ever come up with. It almost makes up for the shitstorm the rest of this season has been.
19. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww creepy old puppetmaster man.
20. ANGELA PETRELLI FINALLY GOT OWNED. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODE FOR THREE YEARS. But holy SHIT, Papa Petrelli is the scariest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
21. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. LINDERMAN CANNOT HAVE PARKMAN. NO. (I knew Daphne was going to be an excellent character.) OH. Daddy Parkman. That makes sense. Because OH YEAH, NATHAN DID KNOW PARKMAN AND THAT SHIT. HOLY CRAP, IT IS ALL ACTUALLY COMING TOGETHER. HOW IN THE WORLD DOES HEROES MANAGE THAT? HOW DOES EVERYTHING ACTUALLY COME TOGETHER EVEN WHEN IT MAKES LESS THAN ZERO SENSE?!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand a final thought: Sylar > Peter every day of the week, but especially Monday.
In other news, I just saw THREE fucking campaign ads in a row. I seriously want to shoot myself. Also, I hate my English homework. I cannot possibly read and respond to two more of these ridiculous essays. And, as a closing note, product placement is freakin' weird.