I never felt uncomfortable, even with my clothes off - Gabe/Ryan
Cobra Starship and Panic! At The Disco: Gabe/Ryan VMA shenaningans
Some kissing etc. No drinking, no drugs! IT'S GABE, BUT SOBER \o/
~4700 words
heartequals was nice about this and fixed it a lot. My BFF was nice about it too. This was for untappedbeauty in a Secret Santa exchange ♥
(because Gabe does not always sleep with Bill, and boypiling is awesome ♥)
I never felt uncomfortable, even with my clothes off
As far as Ryan's celebrity life goes, it's definitely a low point.
Even - especially - curled up on Spencer's king-size with the power of hindsight and coffee, and Gabe nowhere in sight, Ryan knows it is going to haunt him. Maybe it's even the lowest, he wonders.
Somewhere in the heap of warm bodies and pillows and - "Brendon, no eating in my bed!" - crumbs, someone laughs. "I don't know, Ryan. The rosevest was pretty low."
Ryan punches a miscellaneous set of ribs, and somewhere else someone giggles.
Still, it's in the bottom five.
Cut to the night before. In the room (the suite, the Friends of Enemies suite at The Palms) are Ryan and everyone who is: most important, most appreciated, most loved, in his life. There are other people too, there are cameramen and competition winners and Rihanna, who is not important to Ryan but whose name has barely left Brendon's lips since they got here, and about whom Pete says 'she can stand under my umbrella any day', in that ridiculous way he has of trying to insinuate everything but managing nothing.
Ryan is watching Spencer watch Jon watch Rihanna when a body settles heavily against him, arm snaking around his shoulders. Ryan jumps.
"Pete Wentz, Patrick Stump, and Rihanna. Threesome of the fucking century, dude."
Ryan turns his head to the side. Gabe is closer than he expects. He makes a face, "Gabe, it's bad enough I have to see Pete's dick on the internet, let alone in my head."
Gabe lets his jaw drop and gasps in horror. "Ryan Ross! Has the pupil turned against the teacher? Has the fanboy turned against his -" dramatic pause "- hero?"
Ryan rolls his eyes. Gabe grins, infectious and annoying. He leans in close and whispers in Ryan's ear, voice piercing enough to make Ryan's head jerk involuntarily. "I've read your livejournal dude."
Ryan flushes.
"And yeah," Gabe laughs a little dirtily, "I'd totally do them too." He laughs again, louder, squeezes Ryan's thigh, and disappears.
The next three or so hours are spent laughing and teasing and talking in good company. Some people in the room are drinking but no one is drunk; the atmosphere is that of a giant sleepover and Ryan feels like he is fifteen again and in a sleeping bag on someone's floor, mouth fuzzy with coke and eyes all heavy-low. Now he is twenty, and the sleeping bag is a super king size with the most luxuriant sheets Ryan's ever felt, but the rest is still the same. Most importantly, Brendon is still lying next to him and Spencer is across the room, just about within Ryan's line of sight.
Brendon rolls over and stares really hard at the side of Ryan's face until he gives in and looks at Brendon. "Ryan Ross," Brendon whispers, "I'm so tired. Where's Rihanna?"
Ryan doesn't answer at first, just thinks comfortably about the question and how it doesn't make sense, except to Ryan it does. And to Jon, and to Spencer. Which is nice, he thinks, and he almost smiles.
Brendon sighs in a small way and tips his head against Ryan's shoulder. "Jon said we should totally get her to sing on the album."
Ryan does smile then. "Did he really?"
He reaches an arm across and scratches softly at Brendon's scalp. He feels heavy and drowsy and like everything has come together just right. "What did Spencer say?"
Brendon doesn't reply, just snuggles further into Ryan's side, squishing his nose against Ryan's arm. Ryan stops scratching and his hand rests on Brendon's head. If Ryan closes his eyes, the noise around them increases in volume and melds together into static - no words stand out but he can pick out the tones and voices every now and then. He lets the chatter ebb and flow around him, breathing in time with Brendon and with the room. Somewhere, Pete laughs, and somewhere else are Travie's slow tones, and underneath it all the bass throbs. Then the bed dips as someone else sits down. Ryan opens his eyes and the spell is broken, but he can't quite drag himself out of the meditative state. He blinks lazily, and beside him Gabe shifts over.
"Well, well," he smiles, "if it isn't my 'best friend'."
The quotation marks are practically visible and Ryan gives a wry smile. "Fuck you," he says, "I say weird stuff when someone's got a camera in my face."
Gabe laughs, "Does my presence make you nervous? Does it give you sweaty palms, Ryan Ross?"
Ryan rolls his eyes, he says "Gabe Saporta, you're my hero," and when Gabe grins down at him Ryan smiles, looks through his lashes a little too, maybe. Brendon's arm is around his waist, he is sleeping quietly against Ryan's shoulder and it makes Ryan feel a little safer, a little more confident in the face of Gabe, who makes Pete seem like the most unassuming, normal guy in America. Gabe's foot nudges Ryan's foot and he leans in a bit. "I wish, Ross." And then they're both grinning at each other, and Brendon's arm tightens like he has some weird sixth sense for Ryan flirting. Even though Ryan is definitely not flirting.
Gabe notices the movement and looks down at where Ryan and Brendon's arms lie snugly side by side. "What," he cries, "snuggling, without me?" At the end of the bed, Alex turns around. "What," he cries, "snuggling without Gabe?" Victoria turns around too, and laughs at them both. Ryan figures his band probably aren't the only ones with a sixth sense for each other.
Brendon wakes, nuzzling grumpily until he has remembered where he is and who he is and how to open his eyes. "Oh, hey Gabe," he says, voice gruff with sleep.
"Yo, can I steal Ryan for a bit?" Gabe sort of pushes at Brendon's fingers a bit where they are curled around Ryan's waist.
Brendon pouts. "No," he says, "Ryan is mine."
Ryan tuts, plays up to the attention like he's used to it, used to acting like this. "You could try sharing," he says, and gives a huffy little sigh. He sees Gabe looking at him out of the corner of his eye and smiles very slightly. Brendon moves away from Ryan a little. He props himself up on an elbow and stares, hard enough that Ryan can feel it.
"You're such a prima donna," Gabe laughs, and, "Fuck you," Ryan returns, not missing a beat. He doesn't look at Brendon; that would spoil this act he and Gabe are playing out. Gabe starts singing at Ryan, quietly so only they three can hear.
"Diamond girl," he sings, and Ryan debates whether to punch him or not, "I want to wrap you around the world..."
Brendon laughs, abrupt. "I always thought that line was ride you around the world."
Normally, Gabe would laugh at that, and Ryan would be mildly amused, but as it is Gabe just smirks and Ryan feels uncomfortable on Brendon's behalf. "Well, that too," Gabe says, and lets his hand brush against Ryan's ribs. It sends a jolt across Ryan's stomach, muscles jumping, and he thinks Brendon probably feels it too because Brendon rolls away from them, says, vaguely, "Where's Jon anyway?" and gets off the bed. They give away a tiny half-second of attention to watch him leave and then they turn back to each other.
"Finally," Gabe says, "We're alone."
Ryan raises his eyebrows (he's spent his entire life trying to get Spencer to teach him how to raise just one, but it seems Ryan is destined never to be that suave), and says, deadpan as you like, "Yeah, us and the rest of the suite." But Gabe looks around, and when Ryan does too he sees that in fact only Alex, Vicky and William are left, standing at the end of the bed like some kind of security. He swallows, lets his head drop back against the pillows. Gabe's hand is still moving, knuckles dragging up and down Ryan's side, making him twitch every time they touch his hipbone.
Gabe, Ryan has to admit, is pretty good at this.
"Hey, I'll be your biggie if you be my-"
Ryan laughs incredulously and cuts Gabe off - "Finish that sentence and I will disappear, Gabe." Honestly, there are only so many bad lines Ryan can take, and Pete Wentz has used them all on him already.
They stop talking, lie there exchanging glances like this scene is on pause. Ryan is so tired he feels like he isn't even in his body anymore, he feels like he is watching some parallel universe Ryan Ross lying on this sumptuous bed, a little flushed and a little flirtatious, waiting for a parallel universe Gabe Saporta to kiss him. It seems the three at the bottom of the bed are waiting for the same thing; they are there one moment and the next they are not. Ryan barely notices, only fleetingly registers Bill's murmur and Victoria's giggle. He concentrates on Gabe leaning over him, his hand finally moving to splay across Ryan's waistband.
He doesn't know how much time has passed, how long they have been lying there. The kissing and touching and breathing all merge into one, the broken conversation - "Ryan Ross, I didn't know you had it in you..." "Is this the treatment all your best friends get?" "Will you write a song about this? Will it be full of long words and obscure literary references? Will it-" finally stop when Ryan punches him in the stomach, says, "Will you shut the fuck up, god...", and slips a thigh in between Gabe's all at once.
After that there is only kissing and skin on skin, until someone bursts in. Gabe has a hand at the top of Ryan's leg and one tangled in his hair, and Ryan's hands are on Gabe's chest. He pushes at Gabe, feels himself go bright red. Whoever is at the door looks equally embarrassed and closes the door again.
"Oh my god," Ryan says. Gabe laughs.
"Fuck," he says, "Bad timing."
Then the door opens again and this time Alex walks in, grabs a coat from under Gabe's feet, and leaves, not without a smirk on his face. Gabe's hands return to Ryan's waistband but Ryan just lies there, stricken. "Relax," Gabe says, "It was only Alex, and he's seen it all before anyway."
Ryan thinks his face might spontaneously combust. "Fuck off," he mutters, "He definitely hadn't seen me half naked underneath you."
Gabe grins, like Ryan meant that to be funny. He squeezes Ryan's hip, good-naturedly, and says, "I bet he's glad he has now."
Ryan finally looks at Gabe, who is a little flushed as well, and looks as close to giddy as Gabe could ever look. More than Ryan ever thought he could. The sight makes his stomach muscles skip again, and when Gabe moves his hand lower, lets his thumb press into the dip inside Ryan's hipbones he almost forgets how awful this is. Sign to Decaydance: make out with Gabe Saporta. It's such a cliché, and Ryan is usually not that kind of guy. If this weren't so hot, he would still be not that kind of guy.
He forgets how late (early) it is, forgets that he will never be able to look Alex Suarez in the eye ever again, and tangles his fingers in Gabe's hair. Gabe mumbles his name and they fall together again. When Gabe moves down to his neck, Ryan rolls his head to the side, closes his eyes. It is a strange feeling, letting himself be seduced - knowing what Gabe is going to do but acting like he doesn't, it's slutty but he's pretty sure he's in control. Then Gabe bites a little and Ryan just couldn't care less. He keeps his eyes closed, turns his head back to Gabe's and the final tiny conscious compartment of his brain shuts down.
Ryan wakes up to an empty bed. The events of a few hours before come back to him with a stomach lurching jolt, and he looks around the room. Another cliché, he thinks, and makes some hopeless gesture to the room. Then he stretches, hard, pulls every muscle as tight as he can, and relaxes. He doesn't remember the room being dark - Gabe or someone must have turned the lights out. It is still not morning, he can feel that, but he doesn't want to fall asleep again in this room.
He sits for a while on the edge of the bed. Gathers his thoughts. Slowly. He puts clothes back on then he gets up, crosses the room, and leaves it. In the adjoining room he is surprised to find people still slumped on couches. There are empty bottles and misplaced clothing and - inexplicably - party hats strewn across the floor, and there is Gabe and William strewn across the settee. Ryan stops. "Hey," he says. "Hi."
There is a pause. William says hey back, and Gabe smiles. It's not even a smirk, which disconcerts Ryan even more than this situation does. Inside he is cringing, inside he is thinking this is probably the most awkward he has ever felt, inside Ryan is crawling into a hole and dying, but he just says, "What time is it? Have you even slept yet?" Like this happens to him every day.
"No time for sleep, Ryan Ross." Gabe stretches a little, arm knocking obnoxiously into William's head. "There's life to be living."
Ryan stares. He can't think of a single thing to say to that. Eventually, Bill starts laughing, laughs at Gabe, laughs at Ryan, laughs until he can't look at either of them. Gabe just grins, cheshire cat like, and Ryan decides that this is where he leaves.
"Well um. I'm going to go home." He sort of nods at the door, and then shrugs, and picks his way across the room. Behind him, Bill subsides into an exhausted silence. When Ryan opens the door, Gabe is behind him and follows him out.
"Hey," he says, "I had fun tonight."
Ryan turns around, and Gabe is right up in his personal space, closer than he thought, and Ryan feels like maybe the evening has just come full circle and is going round again. Gabe grins, his usual sharpness a little rounded off by tiredness. Ryan waits, tensed for whatever barb Gabe will come out with next. He doesn't quite turn away from where Gabe is all up in his face, but he looks down the corridor.
Then Gabe says, "Friend or enemy, Ryan Ross?"
Ryan waits a beat, and then grins. He can't help it. They stand there in silence. "Friend," says Ryan, reluctantly.
Gabe laughs. He walks into Ryan, stumbles them both to the wall, and kisses him. Ryan lets him for a few seconds, too tired to think straight. Fingertips at his waist still make him shiver, and for a moment it could go either way. Then Ryan pulls away. Gabe waits.
"Um. I should probably," Ryan blinks, "I'm just gonna. Head off home. I mean, to Spencer's. I was supposed to be at his house."
Gabe looks at him a little, then he steps back and shrugs.
Ryan shrugs too. "Well, bye," he says. He starts down the corridor. After ten paces he stops, turns around. Gabe is still there, slouched against the wall. He says, "Change your mind, Ryan Ross?" just as Ryan says, "Say bye to Bill for me."
Gabe pushes off from the wall. He grins, goes back into the suite.
Ryan stands there for a second more, and then he leaves too.
It's a short cab ride back to Spencer's, but long enough to drag Ryan back into the realm of too-tired-to-stand-up-properly, and he doesn't even have the energy to push Spencer's doorbell, let alone get the spare key from under the second step. He props himself against the door and waits. It is starting to get light, but the sun has not come up yet and the world is all shades of blue and grey. Ryan stares at the paint on the door, shallow grooves from the paintbrush. He goes cross eyed from the effort of focusing. Then he hears the latch click, and stands up just enough that he won't collapse on whoever is on the other side of the door.
It is Jon, and he doesn't bat an eyelid. "Good morning," he says. "Or is still night time for you?"
Ryan just stares, hopelessly. Jon smiles and Ryan goes inside, slips his shoes off in the familiar place, uses the same spot on the banister to pull himself up the stairs, pushes off from the same wall to get round the corner. Jon isn't behind him, but by the time Ryan reaches the bedroom door, he is there again, pint of water in his hands. He delivers into Ryan's grasping hands, and laughs softly as Ryan downs it, water dripping down his chin. Then he takes the glass, puts it on the dresser, and helps Ryan off with his outer layer of clothes. Then, finally, they turn to face the bed. Brendon is asleep, but Spencer is propped up on some pillows, tapping into his sidekick. He turns his face to them but his eyes remain on the screen as he finishes typing.
He laughs. "Ryan, Pete promises he won't tell, if you promise to give him all the details."
Ryan puts his head in his hands, and groans. On the bed, Brendon wakes up to hear this exchange. He spreads his arms wide and beckons to Ryan.
"Come here, come to me Ryan, I will make everything better!" And Ryan does as he says, crawls piteously into Brendon's arms and snuggles there. Jon climbs on to the bed behind him, settles comfortably against Spencer and pulling at the sidekick a little to see the screen. He laughs. Ryan mutters half awake, half hearted threats into Brendon's chest.
Brendon pets at his hair. "It's okay, Ryan, it's an empty threat..." He waits, times it perfectly. "There isn't anyone left to tell."
They burst out laughing and Ryan huffs and rolls away from Brendon, pushes half heartedly against Brendon's grip. Brendon laughs louder, tries to talk through it.
Ryan mutters something about betrayal. Brendon stops laughing, mutters back about at least he wouldn't put a guy over his best friend, and the atmosphere is suddenly one snarky comment away from turning sour. Then the sidekick buzzes in Jon and Spencer's hands. They lean in together, laugh together, and Ryan and Brendon immediately feel solidarity in being out of the joke. Both scramble over to Spencer's side of the bed, pile around him to read the screen.
ptrick says ud better nt be ribbing ryan. i do not agree w him bt he is makin me say this. make sure he tells u all th dirrrty parts.
Brendon laughs and Ryan rolls his eyes. Another message comes through, and they all read it together - Brendon breathing on the screen and fogging it up.
Yes, pete IS my bitch. I mean it, stop laughing at ryan. Gabe's a proffesional seducer. X
Ryan has to grin at that, and then he drops his head into Spencer's stomach. He sighs. Brendon rests a hand against his back, a touch that revokes any unkindness between them.
Spencer throws the sidekick across the bed, and Jon squirms down the bed until he is face to face with Ryan, tucked neatly under Spencer's arm. "So," he says, the 's' sliding a little, "Ryan Ross. Are you going to kiss and tell?"
Brendon laughs, and Spencer completes the thought, "Oh, I think he's got the kissing part just fine."
Ryan growls a little, bites at Spencer's stomach but only gets a mouth full of cotton fibres. They wait for him to speak. "There's nothing to tell," he says. "Nothing."
Jon reaches out, pats his cheek. "Okay, Ryan."
They lie in silence for a while, then Brendon speaks, can't help himself. "Oh my god, Ryan," he says. "How far did you go?"
Ryan cranes to look at him. "Oh my god," he copycats. "When did you turn into a fifteen year old girl?"
Brendon huffs. "Fine," he says. "Fine. But don't come to us next time you want any gossip."
"Don't worry, I have Pete for that. I'll be just fine."
Spencer coughs, "Actually, I think you'll find Pete's on our side."
"The side where you totally have to tell us what you did," adds Jon, helpfully.
Ryan groans again, turns his face into Spencer's t shirt and hides the rest of his face. Jon leans in a bit, "Did you french?" and Ryan laughs, tries to hide it but his shoulders shake and he has to come up for air. Jon is smiling like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, but his eyes twinkle. Ryan is too disarmed to deny him an answer. "Yeah, Jon. We frenched. We also sent each other notes, and oh my god, we held hands!" He couldn't be more withering if he tried.
Jon giggles a bit. He says, "Really? Did you actually hold hands?" and Spencer and Brendon exchange a glance that Ryan catches the tail end of. Spencer looks down at Ryan. "That's actually quite cute..."
Ryan laughs a bit, doesn't know what to say.
"It wasn't cute," he says.
"Yeah?" Jon whispers, "What was it?"
Ryan looks around all of their expectant faces, and he admits, "It was pretty hot."
They all lean back a little, and laugh delightedly. Brendon leans over Ryan's shoulder. "Tell me more!"
"Tell us all more!" Jon says, grins at Ryan. So Ryan does, he tells them everything, all the details he can remember and he describes the blurs as much as he can. He can't remember when the clothes came off but he tells them it happened. He remembers the sounds they made together but he doesn't tell them that - they may be his best friends but he'd like to keep some dignity, thank you. They laugh in the right places and pat him consolingly when he gets overly embarrassed. When he trails off, one of them leans in a bit, asks a silly question and Ryan relaxes again.
When he finishes ("I don't remember," he says, "I didn't notice him leave. Then I woke up"), Ryan rolls off Spencer, shoves Brendon over until he can lie between them. He feels oddly comforted, like the night is a distant memory that happened to someone else. Then, "So do you like him?" "Did you get his number?" "Oh my god, do you want to date him?"
Ryan hits out randomly. "Oh fuck off," he says. "I hate you all."
Brendon laughs and sits up. "I feel left out!" he announces. He taps his chin with his left index finger, over dramatic and annoying. "I reckon Alex isn't out of my league. Or Vicky, she likes me. I could totally make out with her." He looks around at Ryan, grins all wide. Ryan closes his eyes, covers up his smile.
"Brendon, oh my god. Go away."
Brendon pouts, but Jon leans over and cuffs him gently. He pushes Brendon off the bed and nudges him to the door. "Alright, give him a break. Come help me get coffee."
Ryan gives him a grateful smile. The door almost closes, and they hear Brendon's voice get fainter down the corridor, then Jon peeks back around the door. "Hey," he says, "I hope you know we're only going to gossip about this all the way to Starbucks and back." And he grins.
"Get out," Ryan says, through another smile, and shuts the door on him. Then he goes and joins Spencer on the bed, waits for him to say something.
"So."
He waits for him to say something else.
"So..." Spencer fiddles with a thread on the duvet. "...Like, I don't want to be your mom, but."
There is a long, long pause, as it dawns on Ryan quite what Spencer is about to say. "Oh my god," he says. "Spence, don't. Oh my god."
Spencer twists his mouth in sympathy. Reluctantly, he keeps talking. "Well. It's Gabe."
And suddenly, Ryan feels offended, on Gabe's behalf. He withdraws a little from Spencer, puts up a defensive wall. "What," he says, "What, like Gabe's suddenly a slut?"
Spencer raises one eyebrow and Ryan doesn't even get jealous. "Suddenly?" Spencer says, like that's so hilarious. Ryan bristles, and then Spencer feels it, and Ryan doesn't remember the last time he felt stupid in front of his best friend. "Hey," says Spencer, and he puts an arm around Ryan's neck, then takes it back and rubs Ryan's shoulder. When Ryan doesn't respond, he bumps their shoulder together. "Oh come on," he says, "It could have been worse?"
Ryan is unconvinced.
"Um."
They sit in silence for a few minutes, then Ryan gives a frustrated little groan and flops backwards onto the bed, arms flying every way. Spencer twists to peer down at him. He chews his lip a little, and Ryan eyes him sternly. "What?"
"What?" Spencer says. "What, Ryan. Nothing. I didn't say anything"
"Spence, what didn't you say?"
Spencer rolls his eyes. "How do you know I was even..." but he stops when Ryan rolls his eyes in return. Pretending to think that Ryan is pretending to know that there is something going on when there isn't even (but actually there is) is so ridiculously redundant. Spencer is probably thinking the same thing, because he lies down next to Ryan, folds his hands across his stomach, and coughs a little.
"Don't worry about it," he says. "We've all been there. I mean." He grins, his patented smug-Spencer smile. "You know. Travis kissed me, a few weeks ago."
Ryan's jaw drops. He gathers his thoughts.
"When?"
Spencer hasn't stopped smiling. "At the Clothes-Off after party? At that club?" He turns his head to the side, meets Ryan's gaze. "And in answer to your next three questions: because he's hot, dude, and yeah, it was pretty good, and I'm sorry, when did I ever tell you about my... people I kiss, whatever."
Ryan opens his mouth, then shuts it. "Hmm." He looks at the ceiling.
"Mind you," Spencer laughs, once. "Travis is way fucking cooler than Gabe, so."
Ryan makes an outraged noise, then on an impulse he leans over, positions his hands firmly against Spencer, and pushes. Spencer laughs. Ryan has never been that strong, but Spencer is taken by surprise and Ryan has him unbalanced on the edge of the bed before Spencer even reacts. Spencer flails, reaches out and grabs a hold of Ryan's shirt. They tumble off the bed together, land in a heap and can't move for the laughter.
When it finally dies down, they still don't move. "Fuck," Ryan says, muffled against Spencer's collar. "Weirdest night of my life."
"You're such a drama queen," Spencer says, pats him indulgently. Ryan thinks about how Spencer isn't the first to point that out in the past twelve hours, and straight away it all comes back to him. He winces. Spencer pats him some more. "At least Gabe isn't being an ass about it."
Ryan sighs. At this point, he just wants some coffee and some more cuddles and perhaps to sleep for twenty hours straight. And right on cue, Brendon and Jon get back. They come into the room ("Coffee!" says Jon, and "We got muffins too," Brendon says) and see Spencer and Ryan on the floor.
Brendon snorts. "You guys are weird". He steps over them, falls onto the bed. Jon climbs after him, gets under the covers. He puts the coffees on the nightstand, then he peers down at the two of them. "Get your asses into bed," he says.
"Snuggletime!" Calls Brendon from where he is buried in the duvet.
They do as he says, and Ryan makes sure he is in the middle - has a part of his body touching each of them. He sighs, nestles back into the pillows, and sticks out a hand for his coffee. If he's going to deal with this, he's going to need caffeine. Jon puts the cup into his grasping fingers, and Brendon sticks a piece of muffin in front of his mouth. Make that caffeine and three annoying, awesome friends, Ryan thinks, and opens his mouth.
Some kissing etc. No drinking, no drugs! IT'S GABE, BUT SOBER \o/
~4700 words
heartequals was nice about this and fixed it a lot. My BFF was nice about it too. This was for untappedbeauty in a Secret Santa exchange ♥
(because Gabe does not always sleep with Bill, and boypiling is awesome ♥)
I never felt uncomfortable, even with my clothes off
As far as Ryan's celebrity life goes, it's definitely a low point.
Even - especially - curled up on Spencer's king-size with the power of hindsight and coffee, and Gabe nowhere in sight, Ryan knows it is going to haunt him. Maybe it's even the lowest, he wonders.
Somewhere in the heap of warm bodies and pillows and - "Brendon, no eating in my bed!" - crumbs, someone laughs. "I don't know, Ryan. The rosevest was pretty low."
Ryan punches a miscellaneous set of ribs, and somewhere else someone giggles.
Still, it's in the bottom five.
Cut to the night before. In the room (the suite, the Friends of Enemies suite at The Palms) are Ryan and everyone who is: most important, most appreciated, most loved, in his life. There are other people too, there are cameramen and competition winners and Rihanna, who is not important to Ryan but whose name has barely left Brendon's lips since they got here, and about whom Pete says 'she can stand under my umbrella any day', in that ridiculous way he has of trying to insinuate everything but managing nothing.
Ryan is watching Spencer watch Jon watch Rihanna when a body settles heavily against him, arm snaking around his shoulders. Ryan jumps.
"Pete Wentz, Patrick Stump, and Rihanna. Threesome of the fucking century, dude."
Ryan turns his head to the side. Gabe is closer than he expects. He makes a face, "Gabe, it's bad enough I have to see Pete's dick on the internet, let alone in my head."
Gabe lets his jaw drop and gasps in horror. "Ryan Ross! Has the pupil turned against the teacher? Has the fanboy turned against his -" dramatic pause "- hero?"
Ryan rolls his eyes. Gabe grins, infectious and annoying. He leans in close and whispers in Ryan's ear, voice piercing enough to make Ryan's head jerk involuntarily. "I've read your livejournal dude."
Ryan flushes.
"And yeah," Gabe laughs a little dirtily, "I'd totally do them too." He laughs again, louder, squeezes Ryan's thigh, and disappears.
The next three or so hours are spent laughing and teasing and talking in good company. Some people in the room are drinking but no one is drunk; the atmosphere is that of a giant sleepover and Ryan feels like he is fifteen again and in a sleeping bag on someone's floor, mouth fuzzy with coke and eyes all heavy-low. Now he is twenty, and the sleeping bag is a super king size with the most luxuriant sheets Ryan's ever felt, but the rest is still the same. Most importantly, Brendon is still lying next to him and Spencer is across the room, just about within Ryan's line of sight.
Brendon rolls over and stares really hard at the side of Ryan's face until he gives in and looks at Brendon. "Ryan Ross," Brendon whispers, "I'm so tired. Where's Rihanna?"
Ryan doesn't answer at first, just thinks comfortably about the question and how it doesn't make sense, except to Ryan it does. And to Jon, and to Spencer. Which is nice, he thinks, and he almost smiles.
Brendon sighs in a small way and tips his head against Ryan's shoulder. "Jon said we should totally get her to sing on the album."
Ryan does smile then. "Did he really?"
He reaches an arm across and scratches softly at Brendon's scalp. He feels heavy and drowsy and like everything has come together just right. "What did Spencer say?"
Brendon doesn't reply, just snuggles further into Ryan's side, squishing his nose against Ryan's arm. Ryan stops scratching and his hand rests on Brendon's head. If Ryan closes his eyes, the noise around them increases in volume and melds together into static - no words stand out but he can pick out the tones and voices every now and then. He lets the chatter ebb and flow around him, breathing in time with Brendon and with the room. Somewhere, Pete laughs, and somewhere else are Travie's slow tones, and underneath it all the bass throbs. Then the bed dips as someone else sits down. Ryan opens his eyes and the spell is broken, but he can't quite drag himself out of the meditative state. He blinks lazily, and beside him Gabe shifts over.
"Well, well," he smiles, "if it isn't my 'best friend'."
The quotation marks are practically visible and Ryan gives a wry smile. "Fuck you," he says, "I say weird stuff when someone's got a camera in my face."
Gabe laughs, "Does my presence make you nervous? Does it give you sweaty palms, Ryan Ross?"
Ryan rolls his eyes, he says "Gabe Saporta, you're my hero," and when Gabe grins down at him Ryan smiles, looks through his lashes a little too, maybe. Brendon's arm is around his waist, he is sleeping quietly against Ryan's shoulder and it makes Ryan feel a little safer, a little more confident in the face of Gabe, who makes Pete seem like the most unassuming, normal guy in America. Gabe's foot nudges Ryan's foot and he leans in a bit. "I wish, Ross." And then they're both grinning at each other, and Brendon's arm tightens like he has some weird sixth sense for Ryan flirting. Even though Ryan is definitely not flirting.
Gabe notices the movement and looks down at where Ryan and Brendon's arms lie snugly side by side. "What," he cries, "snuggling, without me?" At the end of the bed, Alex turns around. "What," he cries, "snuggling without Gabe?" Victoria turns around too, and laughs at them both. Ryan figures his band probably aren't the only ones with a sixth sense for each other.
Brendon wakes, nuzzling grumpily until he has remembered where he is and who he is and how to open his eyes. "Oh, hey Gabe," he says, voice gruff with sleep.
"Yo, can I steal Ryan for a bit?" Gabe sort of pushes at Brendon's fingers a bit where they are curled around Ryan's waist.
Brendon pouts. "No," he says, "Ryan is mine."
Ryan tuts, plays up to the attention like he's used to it, used to acting like this. "You could try sharing," he says, and gives a huffy little sigh. He sees Gabe looking at him out of the corner of his eye and smiles very slightly. Brendon moves away from Ryan a little. He props himself up on an elbow and stares, hard enough that Ryan can feel it.
"You're such a prima donna," Gabe laughs, and, "Fuck you," Ryan returns, not missing a beat. He doesn't look at Brendon; that would spoil this act he and Gabe are playing out. Gabe starts singing at Ryan, quietly so only they three can hear.
"Diamond girl," he sings, and Ryan debates whether to punch him or not, "I want to wrap you around the world..."
Brendon laughs, abrupt. "I always thought that line was ride you around the world."
Normally, Gabe would laugh at that, and Ryan would be mildly amused, but as it is Gabe just smirks and Ryan feels uncomfortable on Brendon's behalf. "Well, that too," Gabe says, and lets his hand brush against Ryan's ribs. It sends a jolt across Ryan's stomach, muscles jumping, and he thinks Brendon probably feels it too because Brendon rolls away from them, says, vaguely, "Where's Jon anyway?" and gets off the bed. They give away a tiny half-second of attention to watch him leave and then they turn back to each other.
"Finally," Gabe says, "We're alone."
Ryan raises his eyebrows (he's spent his entire life trying to get Spencer to teach him how to raise just one, but it seems Ryan is destined never to be that suave), and says, deadpan as you like, "Yeah, us and the rest of the suite." But Gabe looks around, and when Ryan does too he sees that in fact only Alex, Vicky and William are left, standing at the end of the bed like some kind of security. He swallows, lets his head drop back against the pillows. Gabe's hand is still moving, knuckles dragging up and down Ryan's side, making him twitch every time they touch his hipbone.
Gabe, Ryan has to admit, is pretty good at this.
"Hey, I'll be your biggie if you be my-"
Ryan laughs incredulously and cuts Gabe off - "Finish that sentence and I will disappear, Gabe." Honestly, there are only so many bad lines Ryan can take, and Pete Wentz has used them all on him already.
They stop talking, lie there exchanging glances like this scene is on pause. Ryan is so tired he feels like he isn't even in his body anymore, he feels like he is watching some parallel universe Ryan Ross lying on this sumptuous bed, a little flushed and a little flirtatious, waiting for a parallel universe Gabe Saporta to kiss him. It seems the three at the bottom of the bed are waiting for the same thing; they are there one moment and the next they are not. Ryan barely notices, only fleetingly registers Bill's murmur and Victoria's giggle. He concentrates on Gabe leaning over him, his hand finally moving to splay across Ryan's waistband.
He doesn't know how much time has passed, how long they have been lying there. The kissing and touching and breathing all merge into one, the broken conversation - "Ryan Ross, I didn't know you had it in you..." "Is this the treatment all your best friends get?" "Will you write a song about this? Will it be full of long words and obscure literary references? Will it-" finally stop when Ryan punches him in the stomach, says, "Will you shut the fuck up, god...", and slips a thigh in between Gabe's all at once.
After that there is only kissing and skin on skin, until someone bursts in. Gabe has a hand at the top of Ryan's leg and one tangled in his hair, and Ryan's hands are on Gabe's chest. He pushes at Gabe, feels himself go bright red. Whoever is at the door looks equally embarrassed and closes the door again.
"Oh my god," Ryan says. Gabe laughs.
"Fuck," he says, "Bad timing."
Then the door opens again and this time Alex walks in, grabs a coat from under Gabe's feet, and leaves, not without a smirk on his face. Gabe's hands return to Ryan's waistband but Ryan just lies there, stricken. "Relax," Gabe says, "It was only Alex, and he's seen it all before anyway."
Ryan thinks his face might spontaneously combust. "Fuck off," he mutters, "He definitely hadn't seen me half naked underneath you."
Gabe grins, like Ryan meant that to be funny. He squeezes Ryan's hip, good-naturedly, and says, "I bet he's glad he has now."
Ryan finally looks at Gabe, who is a little flushed as well, and looks as close to giddy as Gabe could ever look. More than Ryan ever thought he could. The sight makes his stomach muscles skip again, and when Gabe moves his hand lower, lets his thumb press into the dip inside Ryan's hipbones he almost forgets how awful this is. Sign to Decaydance: make out with Gabe Saporta. It's such a cliché, and Ryan is usually not that kind of guy. If this weren't so hot, he would still be not that kind of guy.
He forgets how late (early) it is, forgets that he will never be able to look Alex Suarez in the eye ever again, and tangles his fingers in Gabe's hair. Gabe mumbles his name and they fall together again. When Gabe moves down to his neck, Ryan rolls his head to the side, closes his eyes. It is a strange feeling, letting himself be seduced - knowing what Gabe is going to do but acting like he doesn't, it's slutty but he's pretty sure he's in control. Then Gabe bites a little and Ryan just couldn't care less. He keeps his eyes closed, turns his head back to Gabe's and the final tiny conscious compartment of his brain shuts down.
Ryan wakes up to an empty bed. The events of a few hours before come back to him with a stomach lurching jolt, and he looks around the room. Another cliché, he thinks, and makes some hopeless gesture to the room. Then he stretches, hard, pulls every muscle as tight as he can, and relaxes. He doesn't remember the room being dark - Gabe or someone must have turned the lights out. It is still not morning, he can feel that, but he doesn't want to fall asleep again in this room.
He sits for a while on the edge of the bed. Gathers his thoughts. Slowly. He puts clothes back on then he gets up, crosses the room, and leaves it. In the adjoining room he is surprised to find people still slumped on couches. There are empty bottles and misplaced clothing and - inexplicably - party hats strewn across the floor, and there is Gabe and William strewn across the settee. Ryan stops. "Hey," he says. "Hi."
There is a pause. William says hey back, and Gabe smiles. It's not even a smirk, which disconcerts Ryan even more than this situation does. Inside he is cringing, inside he is thinking this is probably the most awkward he has ever felt, inside Ryan is crawling into a hole and dying, but he just says, "What time is it? Have you even slept yet?" Like this happens to him every day.
"No time for sleep, Ryan Ross." Gabe stretches a little, arm knocking obnoxiously into William's head. "There's life to be living."
Ryan stares. He can't think of a single thing to say to that. Eventually, Bill starts laughing, laughs at Gabe, laughs at Ryan, laughs until he can't look at either of them. Gabe just grins, cheshire cat like, and Ryan decides that this is where he leaves.
"Well um. I'm going to go home." He sort of nods at the door, and then shrugs, and picks his way across the room. Behind him, Bill subsides into an exhausted silence. When Ryan opens the door, Gabe is behind him and follows him out.
"Hey," he says, "I had fun tonight."
Ryan turns around, and Gabe is right up in his personal space, closer than he thought, and Ryan feels like maybe the evening has just come full circle and is going round again. Gabe grins, his usual sharpness a little rounded off by tiredness. Ryan waits, tensed for whatever barb Gabe will come out with next. He doesn't quite turn away from where Gabe is all up in his face, but he looks down the corridor.
Then Gabe says, "Friend or enemy, Ryan Ross?"
Ryan waits a beat, and then grins. He can't help it. They stand there in silence. "Friend," says Ryan, reluctantly.
Gabe laughs. He walks into Ryan, stumbles them both to the wall, and kisses him. Ryan lets him for a few seconds, too tired to think straight. Fingertips at his waist still make him shiver, and for a moment it could go either way. Then Ryan pulls away. Gabe waits.
"Um. I should probably," Ryan blinks, "I'm just gonna. Head off home. I mean, to Spencer's. I was supposed to be at his house."
Gabe looks at him a little, then he steps back and shrugs.
Ryan shrugs too. "Well, bye," he says. He starts down the corridor. After ten paces he stops, turns around. Gabe is still there, slouched against the wall. He says, "Change your mind, Ryan Ross?" just as Ryan says, "Say bye to Bill for me."
Gabe pushes off from the wall. He grins, goes back into the suite.
Ryan stands there for a second more, and then he leaves too.
It's a short cab ride back to Spencer's, but long enough to drag Ryan back into the realm of too-tired-to-stand-up-properly, and he doesn't even have the energy to push Spencer's doorbell, let alone get the spare key from under the second step. He props himself against the door and waits. It is starting to get light, but the sun has not come up yet and the world is all shades of blue and grey. Ryan stares at the paint on the door, shallow grooves from the paintbrush. He goes cross eyed from the effort of focusing. Then he hears the latch click, and stands up just enough that he won't collapse on whoever is on the other side of the door.
It is Jon, and he doesn't bat an eyelid. "Good morning," he says. "Or is still night time for you?"
Ryan just stares, hopelessly. Jon smiles and Ryan goes inside, slips his shoes off in the familiar place, uses the same spot on the banister to pull himself up the stairs, pushes off from the same wall to get round the corner. Jon isn't behind him, but by the time Ryan reaches the bedroom door, he is there again, pint of water in his hands. He delivers into Ryan's grasping hands, and laughs softly as Ryan downs it, water dripping down his chin. Then he takes the glass, puts it on the dresser, and helps Ryan off with his outer layer of clothes. Then, finally, they turn to face the bed. Brendon is asleep, but Spencer is propped up on some pillows, tapping into his sidekick. He turns his face to them but his eyes remain on the screen as he finishes typing.
He laughs. "Ryan, Pete promises he won't tell, if you promise to give him all the details."
Ryan puts his head in his hands, and groans. On the bed, Brendon wakes up to hear this exchange. He spreads his arms wide and beckons to Ryan.
"Come here, come to me Ryan, I will make everything better!" And Ryan does as he says, crawls piteously into Brendon's arms and snuggles there. Jon climbs on to the bed behind him, settles comfortably against Spencer and pulling at the sidekick a little to see the screen. He laughs. Ryan mutters half awake, half hearted threats into Brendon's chest.
Brendon pets at his hair. "It's okay, Ryan, it's an empty threat..." He waits, times it perfectly. "There isn't anyone left to tell."
They burst out laughing and Ryan huffs and rolls away from Brendon, pushes half heartedly against Brendon's grip. Brendon laughs louder, tries to talk through it.
Ryan mutters something about betrayal. Brendon stops laughing, mutters back about at least he wouldn't put a guy over his best friend, and the atmosphere is suddenly one snarky comment away from turning sour. Then the sidekick buzzes in Jon and Spencer's hands. They lean in together, laugh together, and Ryan and Brendon immediately feel solidarity in being out of the joke. Both scramble over to Spencer's side of the bed, pile around him to read the screen.
ptrick says ud better nt be ribbing ryan. i do not agree w him bt he is makin me say this. make sure he tells u all th dirrrty parts.
Brendon laughs and Ryan rolls his eyes. Another message comes through, and they all read it together - Brendon breathing on the screen and fogging it up.
Yes, pete IS my bitch. I mean it, stop laughing at ryan. Gabe's a proffesional seducer. X
Ryan has to grin at that, and then he drops his head into Spencer's stomach. He sighs. Brendon rests a hand against his back, a touch that revokes any unkindness between them.
Spencer throws the sidekick across the bed, and Jon squirms down the bed until he is face to face with Ryan, tucked neatly under Spencer's arm. "So," he says, the 's' sliding a little, "Ryan Ross. Are you going to kiss and tell?"
Brendon laughs, and Spencer completes the thought, "Oh, I think he's got the kissing part just fine."
Ryan growls a little, bites at Spencer's stomach but only gets a mouth full of cotton fibres. They wait for him to speak. "There's nothing to tell," he says. "Nothing."
Jon reaches out, pats his cheek. "Okay, Ryan."
They lie in silence for a while, then Brendon speaks, can't help himself. "Oh my god, Ryan," he says. "How far did you go?"
Ryan cranes to look at him. "Oh my god," he copycats. "When did you turn into a fifteen year old girl?"
Brendon huffs. "Fine," he says. "Fine. But don't come to us next time you want any gossip."
"Don't worry, I have Pete for that. I'll be just fine."
Spencer coughs, "Actually, I think you'll find Pete's on our side."
"The side where you totally have to tell us what you did," adds Jon, helpfully.
Ryan groans again, turns his face into Spencer's t shirt and hides the rest of his face. Jon leans in a bit, "Did you french?" and Ryan laughs, tries to hide it but his shoulders shake and he has to come up for air. Jon is smiling like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, but his eyes twinkle. Ryan is too disarmed to deny him an answer. "Yeah, Jon. We frenched. We also sent each other notes, and oh my god, we held hands!" He couldn't be more withering if he tried.
Jon giggles a bit. He says, "Really? Did you actually hold hands?" and Spencer and Brendon exchange a glance that Ryan catches the tail end of. Spencer looks down at Ryan. "That's actually quite cute..."
Ryan laughs a bit, doesn't know what to say.
"It wasn't cute," he says.
"Yeah?" Jon whispers, "What was it?"
Ryan looks around all of their expectant faces, and he admits, "It was pretty hot."
They all lean back a little, and laugh delightedly. Brendon leans over Ryan's shoulder. "Tell me more!"
"Tell us all more!" Jon says, grins at Ryan. So Ryan does, he tells them everything, all the details he can remember and he describes the blurs as much as he can. He can't remember when the clothes came off but he tells them it happened. He remembers the sounds they made together but he doesn't tell them that - they may be his best friends but he'd like to keep some dignity, thank you. They laugh in the right places and pat him consolingly when he gets overly embarrassed. When he trails off, one of them leans in a bit, asks a silly question and Ryan relaxes again.
When he finishes ("I don't remember," he says, "I didn't notice him leave. Then I woke up"), Ryan rolls off Spencer, shoves Brendon over until he can lie between them. He feels oddly comforted, like the night is a distant memory that happened to someone else. Then, "So do you like him?" "Did you get his number?" "Oh my god, do you want to date him?"
Ryan hits out randomly. "Oh fuck off," he says. "I hate you all."
Brendon laughs and sits up. "I feel left out!" he announces. He taps his chin with his left index finger, over dramatic and annoying. "I reckon Alex isn't out of my league. Or Vicky, she likes me. I could totally make out with her." He looks around at Ryan, grins all wide. Ryan closes his eyes, covers up his smile.
"Brendon, oh my god. Go away."
Brendon pouts, but Jon leans over and cuffs him gently. He pushes Brendon off the bed and nudges him to the door. "Alright, give him a break. Come help me get coffee."
Ryan gives him a grateful smile. The door almost closes, and they hear Brendon's voice get fainter down the corridor, then Jon peeks back around the door. "Hey," he says, "I hope you know we're only going to gossip about this all the way to Starbucks and back." And he grins.
"Get out," Ryan says, through another smile, and shuts the door on him. Then he goes and joins Spencer on the bed, waits for him to say something.
"So."
He waits for him to say something else.
"So..." Spencer fiddles with a thread on the duvet. "...Like, I don't want to be your mom, but."
There is a long, long pause, as it dawns on Ryan quite what Spencer is about to say. "Oh my god," he says. "Spence, don't. Oh my god."
Spencer twists his mouth in sympathy. Reluctantly, he keeps talking. "Well. It's Gabe."
And suddenly, Ryan feels offended, on Gabe's behalf. He withdraws a little from Spencer, puts up a defensive wall. "What," he says, "What, like Gabe's suddenly a slut?"
Spencer raises one eyebrow and Ryan doesn't even get jealous. "Suddenly?" Spencer says, like that's so hilarious. Ryan bristles, and then Spencer feels it, and Ryan doesn't remember the last time he felt stupid in front of his best friend. "Hey," says Spencer, and he puts an arm around Ryan's neck, then takes it back and rubs Ryan's shoulder. When Ryan doesn't respond, he bumps their shoulder together. "Oh come on," he says, "It could have been worse?"
Ryan is unconvinced.
"Um."
They sit in silence for a few minutes, then Ryan gives a frustrated little groan and flops backwards onto the bed, arms flying every way. Spencer twists to peer down at him. He chews his lip a little, and Ryan eyes him sternly. "What?"
"What?" Spencer says. "What, Ryan. Nothing. I didn't say anything"
"Spence, what didn't you say?"
Spencer rolls his eyes. "How do you know I was even..." but he stops when Ryan rolls his eyes in return. Pretending to think that Ryan is pretending to know that there is something going on when there isn't even (but actually there is) is so ridiculously redundant. Spencer is probably thinking the same thing, because he lies down next to Ryan, folds his hands across his stomach, and coughs a little.
"Don't worry about it," he says. "We've all been there. I mean." He grins, his patented smug-Spencer smile. "You know. Travis kissed me, a few weeks ago."
Ryan's jaw drops. He gathers his thoughts.
"When?"
Spencer hasn't stopped smiling. "At the Clothes-Off after party? At that club?" He turns his head to the side, meets Ryan's gaze. "And in answer to your next three questions: because he's hot, dude, and yeah, it was pretty good, and I'm sorry, when did I ever tell you about my... people I kiss, whatever."
Ryan opens his mouth, then shuts it. "Hmm." He looks at the ceiling.
"Mind you," Spencer laughs, once. "Travis is way fucking cooler than Gabe, so."
Ryan makes an outraged noise, then on an impulse he leans over, positions his hands firmly against Spencer, and pushes. Spencer laughs. Ryan has never been that strong, but Spencer is taken by surprise and Ryan has him unbalanced on the edge of the bed before Spencer even reacts. Spencer flails, reaches out and grabs a hold of Ryan's shirt. They tumble off the bed together, land in a heap and can't move for the laughter.
When it finally dies down, they still don't move. "Fuck," Ryan says, muffled against Spencer's collar. "Weirdest night of my life."
"You're such a drama queen," Spencer says, pats him indulgently. Ryan thinks about how Spencer isn't the first to point that out in the past twelve hours, and straight away it all comes back to him. He winces. Spencer pats him some more. "At least Gabe isn't being an ass about it."
Ryan sighs. At this point, he just wants some coffee and some more cuddles and perhaps to sleep for twenty hours straight. And right on cue, Brendon and Jon get back. They come into the room ("Coffee!" says Jon, and "We got muffins too," Brendon says) and see Spencer and Ryan on the floor.
Brendon snorts. "You guys are weird". He steps over them, falls onto the bed. Jon climbs after him, gets under the covers. He puts the coffees on the nightstand, then he peers down at the two of them. "Get your asses into bed," he says.
"Snuggletime!" Calls Brendon from where he is buried in the duvet.
They do as he says, and Ryan makes sure he is in the middle - has a part of his body touching each of them. He sighs, nestles back into the pillows, and sticks out a hand for his coffee. If he's going to deal with this, he's going to need caffeine. Jon puts the cup into his grasping fingers, and Brendon sticks a piece of muffin in front of his mouth. Make that caffeine and three annoying, awesome friends, Ryan thinks, and opens his mouth.