[mini-series] Belonged : Loveless (2/5)
Belonged : Loveless [2/5] | Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Donghae, Hyukjae(Eunhyuk), Jongwoon(Yesung), Ryeowook, Siwon | Chaptered, angst, romance | PG-15 (for this part)
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"Because good people meant to suffer; that's the world to you."
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If it was up to Kyuhyun to do some criticizing works for the story Hyukjae just told them, he’d really like to say ‘Excellent! Dump this shit in front of Spielberg’s mansion and damn sure it’ll sell well like hot cakes!’ so it was unfortunate that he didn't have to. And Hyukjae didn't seem like he was making up stories; hell yeah like he would spend three freaking hours wasting his time to torment his naturally low voice to use higher note when Kyuhyun disagreed about something on his story, not to mention the ulcer burning his throat after what he claimed the after-effect of secretly crying alone inside Sungmin’s old bedroom in his self-claimed family mansion somewhere in Seoul (damn Kyuhyun really wished to step inside that mansion one day).
Kyuhyun was back in his seat near his working table, unconsciously spinning his comfortable black-leathered chair exactly 180 degree from left to right along with a deep ‘hummmm’ each time the spin reached the other side; Ryeowook was silently picking up the cups of coffee which god knew how many times they were re-filled throughout the three hours, his small, gentle fingers then trembled a little - probably from the tiredness of helping Jongwoon in his clinic before the current meeting took place - almost dropping an empty cup; Jongwoon was by his side, safely caught the falling empty cup and whispered a loving ‘it’s okay I got it’ and smiled while kissing Ryeowook’s temple and made the latter smile too; Donghae was making a face, irritated by the intimate display of the two lovebirds when he was still in no mood of speaking to Hyukjae; who was sitting on the black couch like a rock, head down and hands on his own nape, clearly showing his guiltiness. And Siwon just arrived twenty minutes ago when the story was climbing to its semi-climax; exactly at the part where Hyukjae was explaining the reason; the actual reason why Sungmin married the spinster five years ago (but Kyuhyun did figure it out before that anyway).
“You know that old saying? Something about the book and its skins?” Siwon finally spoke, and everyone was suddenly in a deep thought when Jongwoon answered, “you mean don't judge a book by its cover?”
“Yeah. That.” Kyuhyun stopped spinning his chair (because he finally realized he didn't have to do that to think in the first place) and rested his elbows on the desk, and rocked his chin with his palms.
“What’s with that?” he asked, and Siwon leaned backwards, rested his body on the couch properly, before he crossed his long left leg onto the right one. “Nothing. I was just thinking; just a silly thought actually, that you guys, all of you were really far from what it means all this time.”
“Look, I’m not in the mood of riddles right now, so quit your metaphors and just tell us what you mean,” Donghae snapped, and Hyukjae gasped. Donghae then stared at him with a disturbed face, and cocked his head to the other side. Hyukjae went back to staring the floor. Siwon then stood up and walked towards Hyukjae, patted his shoulders and gave him a hug. Donghae clucked his tongue and looked away.
“I’ve always knew Hyukjae was a brilliant student at school. I used to help Miss Han, you know, our unmarried Math teacher-“
‘ah an example student after all’ they all thought and Siwon smiled like he approved what they were thinking;
“-after school when it was exam week to sort out the papers to its class after marking, and I realized that Hyukjae’s marks were always above the average.” He patted Hyukjae’s head and glanced at Donghae with a witty smile on his face.
“So I was pretty confused when he refused to go to the better class when he was offered to. But then I thought it was his choice and no one can do anything about it.”
“Great. That leaves me the dumbest of us all.” Donghae huffed, and Hyukjae sunk his head even lower before muffled an apology.
Kyuhyun slammed his desk, and grunted. Everyone was shocked.
“Kyuhyun...” Hyukjae mumbled, and lifted his head.
“Sorry, Hyukjae, but I just don't get it. What is it actually that you wanted to tell me? I mean, I didn't even like Sungmin. In fact, if you have forgotten, I despised him, remember?”
Hyukjae was stunned like a statue. Or Kyuhyun thought he was already looking like a statue with his pale skin and skinny body. He didn't seem to have good meals in the last few days.
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Apparently, it was a quite complicated and sad one-sided love story, really. It started when a rich boy, with neat personality and a scheduled life, already destined to be a heir to an empire fell in love with a bold, carefree, happy but beautiful not-so-poor girl who had more than seven siblings (it was eight or nine if Kyuhyun wasn’t mistaken) in a summer, but he didn't have the guts to say it out loud to her. If this story happened in this time, the rich boy was someone who we would call a stalker.
He would follow her after school to her hangout places, or to her working places, spied on her, listened to her voice, took her pictures and all the other creepy stuff that a stalker would have done. He was crazy, he was insanely in love, and he was love drunk. He never wanted it to be just a hangover; he wanted the feeling to be forever.
So as things took place after the other, at a certain point, the rich boy’s love on her grew greater and stronger yet the girl was still unaware of it. Oh dang why would she? For a man that she never met, just who was the rich boy to her? A nobody; it was a no-brainer. So when she finally decided ‘ah I want to have a boyfriend’ which was not the rich boy, a little fire that always been there inside everyone’s heart was ignited, and it grew hotter and bigger and dangerous each day. it was something that we called jealousy. So he got jealous when she held hands with other guys, guys which he thought was worse than him (well of course he was the worst one like, for real) and she deserved the best whom he thought was him.
And it wasn’t like he wanted things to happen this way. He just wanted to feel how it would be to have her in his arms after months of watching her from far away; how her body warmth would feel like? He wanted to put his marks on her; like what a lover would do. He wanted to say ‘I love you’ with a gentle whisper, so that she would be calm and accept him in any way he was.
But all he got was a lot of slapping, and words of cursing, and how she didn't want to be in his arms, nor share her body warmth. She wasn’t listening when he pulled her closer and whispered ‘I love you’ in her ears, because she was trying her hardest to scream, and continuously cursed him when she could. So he felt betrayed.
Because his dream wasn’t actually reality. Because she was different in his dream.
Because she was different in reality. Because she didn't love him in reality. But he loved both of her in his dream and reality.
So he hurt the one that he loved the most.
Kyuhyun would love to interpret it in a mathematical way. It was an easy math that he came up with.
(a)Positive plus positive equalled to positive.
(b)Negative plus positive equalled to negative.
(c)Negative minus negative equalled to positive.
If the girl would have loved the rich boy back, just like she was loved, then it would have been (a). But the fact was the girl didn't love the boy like he expected it to be, so the answer was obviously (b). Kyuhyun knew it all along; the boy was so stupid that even if he asked every unintelligent human being in this world, they would give him the same answer, which the boy was undoubtedly the most stupid person they had ever known.
The rich boy then left the girl that he loved so much with the child that he never knew was there until a few years later, and married another rich girl. And what a shame, what a shame, really, that the poor girl never knew that she was loved so much, because of the stupid act the rich boy did to her, in fact she hated him so much that she never wanted to have anything to do with him, at all. Not even the child that came out from her own body.
So Sungmin took all the blame. Sungmin took all the hatred. Sungmin took all; everything.
He was blamed to be the reason why his mother didn't get married, and he was blamed for being the reason of a breaking marriage. He was despised for being someone who wanted to take over the empire after the death of his father; things that should have been Hyukjae’s. And he was hated for being a threat to the enemies of the same gender for having the charm on girls, which was had never been his intention.
Heck, he was even blamed for being alive.
“Should I go on with (c) for him?”
-
Kyuhyun palmed his face. His friends left almost half an hour ago, with Hyukjae still trying to cool Donghae down, and Siwon calling a special someone whom was still a secret to everyone, and those two freaks who loved animals went back to their pet clinic and settled everything they need before closing it for that day. He spun his chair to face the large see-through glass panel behind him; there were a few lights piercing the dark clouds of the cold night. The air-conditioner in his room was on its lowest; enough for the air to breathe around the room, yet the sound could make anyone to freeze for a while if they only heard it for the first time. He hated it, times and times again he felt like bringing down the machine from its place, yet he liked the coldness in the air and the artificial fresh breath that it gave to his room.
Hated it, but liked it at the same time. Like Lee Sungmin? Kyuhyun suddenly felt it was kind of funny, so he laughed as hard as he could.
It was ironic; he thought. Lee Sungmin was someone that he hated, yet he was also someone who was always on his mind. And oh just how he always thought and just how the facts never failed to prove it, life was always a joke that he could never fully understand. Life was like a path to a room full of mirror; it was entertaining, yet confusing and sometimes could make you laugh at your own reflection. Just like when he felt like a beaten wrestler as Sungmin told him after those litres of alcohol that he loved him this entire time when Kyuhyun actually thought he was annoying and as someone who should have been avoided. And that tight feeling on his chest when Sungmin slip the ring on his spouses’ finger right after he gave him the secret, stupid sign that he would never forget, not even until he die.
He always hated someone like Lee Sungmin. Someone who would never give a damn to how many people they had pulled down along with their jumps of eccentricity, craziness and innocence, and didn't even have a pinch of guilt for the fall they had. Like, like someone who had pushed a total stranger into a pool of mud, and then danced on their back, pulled them up again and kissed them an apology, and ran away with an innocent smile on his face, as if it was just a play and you shouldn’t keep any grudge for it.
“Sorry, Hyukjae, but I just don't get it. What is it actually that you wanted to tell me? I mean, I didn't even like Sungmin. In fact, if you have forgotten, I despised him, remember?”
“Because you said Sungmin pissed you off even when he was not around, so I thought he was special to you.” - this Lee Hyukjae, he was way too sensitive over things he shouldn’t have to.
Kyuhyun tilted his head up and back, let out a grunt - sigh - groan - inexplicable sound; similar of a general who had just lost his war and was about to kill himself but couldn’t find the knife.
“You see? Wasn’t that enough? You were special, okay? For someone who had fuck with me twice, don't you think you should give yourself a fete? And no, you son of a bitch, I do not just sleep with anyone that fits, so be proud!”
‘Oh my god’ he thought ‘I am crying damn it’ and slammed his forehead against the wooden surface of the desk. He could feel his body trembled, and he was damn sure it wasn’t because of the coldness.
-
He could’ve drive himself back home, but Kyuhyun refused to do so, so he finally came out with the idea of using his two feet walking home (it would be a suicide to drive after spending another hour in his office gulping down a few bottles of alcohol he thought anyway). He needed to think; wanted to think. Yes yes a lot to think about ‘what’ and ‘if’.
There were a lot of possibilities when the question of ‘what if’ arose.
What if they started off like normal boys in a normal high school who greet each other every morning as they reached the class? What if Sungmin wasn’t an eccentric brat? What if he didn't fall asleep back near the turtle pond? What if he refused Sungmin? What if Sungmin didn't disappear the next day? What if - what if, what if Sungmin didn't get married after they had a drunk - driven sex in his place back then?
What if the sky wasn’t blue? What if the leaves weren’t green? What if Kim Jongwoon didn't fell in love with Kim Ryeowook? Yeah yeah I got it I got it.
It was all a waste, wasn’t it? To question things that happened. Kyuhyun smiled to himself, and nodded three times; as slowly as he could. There was a teenage couple walking the opposite way he walked and they saw how he creepily smiled and mumbled to himself, so Kyuhyun wasn’t trying to hide any uncanny behaviour he had because na-ah anyone would give the same response like the two teenagers; quickly walked away after tightened their hold onto each other’s hands.
“Huuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh~~ I’m jealous! Yeah yeah that should be it! Hold her hand tight, or she might leave you one day without saying anything after some steamy fucking scenes!”
Maybe the couple thought ‘ah drunkard!’ so the boyfriend only turned to glance at Kyuhyun once before he hurriedly put his arm around the girl’s waist and walked off the pathway, crossing the road.
“What the - well excuse me for giving a based-off experience advice, you brats! Aigoo kids these days really...” he saw the pathway in front of him; the lighting from the lamp posts was helping the weird black thing - untouchable black thing - on the pathway to grew and swayed under his foot. “Hi, blackie. Alone?” he lifted his left hand which was holding his briefcase, and swayed it like, uh, like what a drunkard would do. The weird black thing lifted its right hand, and Kyuhyun snorted.
“WRONG!! You should lift the other hand!!” and stupidly, he sat on the cold pavement, threw his briefcase to his left into some bushes, and childishly slapped the cement until his palms turned red. A convertible passed and some young kids over enjoying their Friday night were booing him like dogs barking at a sad, old fox that had lost his tail.
“What do you want, bastards?? I just knocked some realisation that I am actually in love with a dead man, so don't - don't-“
Hiccupped. Hands stopped pounding the ground. Voice trembled.
“Don't remind me-“
Warm liquid filled the edge of the eyes. A tight chest. Hands palmed face.
“Don't remind me about the regret.”
The car faded from his sight, and Kyuhyun slapped his own face a few times before breathed in - held breath for a few minutes - breathed out and stood up, but he lost his balance and fell back on the very same spot he was sitting.
“My butt’s freezing.”
“Then get your ass inside your house quick, you dumb head!” a familiar voice scolded him, and a pair of warm arms hooked under his armpits from behind, trying to make him stand. Kyuhyun laughed and leaned his weight backwards. “You can take my ass into a warm place, but my heart is cold right now, Sungm-“
“Oh damn, you almost fooled me with your alcohol tolerance on that bachelor night, Cho Kyuhyun.”
And his eyes shot opened, as widely as they could.
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If this was some sort of movie, the calm, singing person in front of him right now would be either;
(a) an innocent spirit not being able to rest for some unfinished businesses in the world,
(b) a zombie who was still in the rotting process with an inexplicable intelligence that was not supposed to be retained after death,
(c) an evil spirit filled with vengeance who was going to take him away so that he would suffer the same death he went through.
“For some reason I can see those thought bubbles of yours about me, so please dust them off and lie down quietly so that I can put everything back to its senses.” Kyuhyun waved his hands above his head like Sungmin told him to and like an obedient child he placed his head onto his cotton pillow with Sungmin sitting next to his bedside with unshaved face and messy hair; you know, like someone who went missing for almost a week because people thought he was dead but was actually very much healthy and alive? Yarp, Lee Sungmin was there, no doubt about it.
“You’re dead.”
“Skip out the possibility of getting a cold next morning for sitting in front of your door, waiting for a drunken you; and yeah I am positively alive and obviously not dead, thank you.” Sungmin spoke as he slapped Kyuhyun’s thighs so that he would stop moving and let him pull his socks.
“But - but seriously, you’re dead. I went to you funeral.” Sungmin stopped unbuttoning Kyuhyun’s suit when he grabbed both his wrists and looked at him with a pair of unbelievable eyes. “You’re dead, Lee Sungmin. We used past tenses when we were talking about you.”
“Look, I have pulses, don't I? See, my neck is warm, right? And I am changing you into your pyjama right now so tell me if you’ve met any dead people doing all this.” he pulled away his hands and pushed Kyuhyun back onto his bed. Still confused, Kyuhyun poked Sungmin’s left cheek when he was finishing the final button on his pyjama, and made the latter to chuckle. “See, I’m alive, don't I?”
“But how? And why are you here? Why not back to Hyukjae’s place?” Sungmin hummed, and laid his body next to Kyuhyun on the bed.
“Well I’ve always wanted to give back everything that was Hyukjae’s, so when I went to US last week, I’ve prepared everything that I need to stay there untraceable. So that Hyukjae will be appointed as the president, and have everything under his name once again; just what he deserves to have. I won't be in his way anymore, but then the airplane crash was like a blessing!” he abruptly sat up and faced Kyuhyun with a smile that Kyuhyun thought was a bit creepy.
“It’s like, like I don't have to give any excuse anymore! I’m officially dead! I’m free!”
“...except for the fact that you’re not and this is obviously a violation of law - a fraud.”
Sungmin stopped talking (Kyuhyun thought he even stopped breathing but no) and his shoulders drooped. “If you wanted to give everything back to Hyukjae, why don't you just change the ownership of the company back to him? Like...ah, I see.”
Kyuhyun’s voice suddenly turned witty and somehow pervy, but Sungmin didn't say anything about it.
“It’s all about pride, isn’t it? You don't want him to know how much you love your brother.” Sungmin slowly nodded, and sat back down on the bed. Kyuhyun giggled, and ruffled his hair. Was Sungmin always this cute?
“And?”
“And... what?”
“Why me? Why here?” Kyuhyun eyebrows twitched when Sungmin let out a small laugh.
“You asked me the exact same question five years ago.”
“Really? What was your answer?” Kyuhyun felt like his head spinning, disobeying his thoughts, so he pushed away his thick comforter and stood up, twirled his head a bit and turned so that he could see Sungmin.
“Nothing. I said let’s have a bachelor party or something like that, and we ended up drunk so bad.”
“Just badly drunk?”
“...”
A deep hum came out from Kyuhyun’s throat, and Sungmin looked at him; confused. “I see. It’s in the past, anyway. I shouldn’t brought it up, now is not the right time, is it?” He put his left hand on his waist, and the other hand rubbing his chin. His face was as if Sungmin just told him that he wanted to dance naked in the rain and he was invited to join. Sungmin cleared his throat, and suddenly his face blossomed into cherry red. “Uhh, I...”
“Are you staying? Or you’re staying in any hotel?”
“Well I just arrived today so...” Kyuhyun walked passed Sungmin and slid open his built-in wardrobe, picked a pink pyjama and tossed it to Sungmin. “You like pink, don't you?” Sungmin nodded, and Kyuhyun smiled. “The bathroom is on the left. Towels, shavers, cream, toothbrushes, combs and stuff are in the blue closet next to the mirror. Clean yourself up, you know -“ Kyuhyun made a gesture pointing around his own face, indicating that he didn't like seeing Sungmin with black hair all over his chin and under his nose, “-that’s really a turn-off factor for me, a big turn-off.”
“Where are you going? Are you sober enough to move around like this?” Kyuhyun waved his hand as he walked out of his bedroom’s door.
“My extraordinary alcohol tolerance that almost got you fooled five years ago is actually real, it wasn’t just an act. Now, would you like some coffee?”
-
He was staring at his own reflection inside the mirror - a beardy Lee Sungmin. he would have never expect to let his thin pre-moustache and pre-beard to grow; not that he had any problem with having them on his face or anything, but Hyukjae gave him a weird look and made jokes about it when he found out about Sungmin’s beard in high school. “Old pops!” he would yelled all over the mansion when he returned on weekends and Sungmin would chase him with a shaver and a bottle of cream in hands, babbling about how he would love to shave off Hyukjae’s rusty brown hair. And he remembered how they would quietened down their voices when they walked passed their grandfather’s room and back to chasing each other after that.
No one knew they were brothers, because Sungmin stayed in the family’s mansion even after graduation and college, but Hyukjae was out from there ever since the beginning of their high school years. “It’s a prison!” he suddenly exclaimed one day and packed his luggage, asked their father to find a simple, average house to rent as fast as he could and moved out. “It wasn’t your fault I moved out, hyung! It was them!” Hyukjae told him when he asked about the reason of his rebellious attitude. Sungmin knew it, Hyukjae was talking about their grandfather and his own mother.
The Lee Senior never laid his eyes on Sungmin’s face, not even the first day when their dad brought him in and introduced him to Hyukjae and the other members of the big family. He said Sungmin was a mistake that was born to shatter any happiness in the family. Sungmin was a fruit of a mistake his son made in the past. Sungmin was not supposed to be alive. Hyukjae’s mother was the same. She didn't want Hyukjae to be close to Sungmin, she didn't want Sungmin to sit at her son’s throne, and she didn't want her husband to forget about his other son.
He didn't remember when was the time he and Hyukjae started to get along very well. Was it in middle school, when Hyukjae’s mother pointed him out as her jewellery thief? Well it wasn’t like Hyukjae was going all out to save him actually. He just told their father that his mother misplaced the box, that’s all. But then he got beaten by his mother, and Sungmin was the one who treated his bruises (it was more like Hyukjae did it out of innocence, and Sungmin was out of his gentle nature).
Hyukjae’s moving out was quite an impact on him. Well it was not like they didn't see each other after that, since every weekend, Sungmin would come in the morning and prepared his brunch and dinner while Hyukjae went to dance trainings with Donghae, tidy it up and just a few hours before Hyukjae came home, he would sneak out for a while (because Hyukjae would definitely came home with Donghae and he wanted to give them some privacy) and came back in the evening. Hyukjae once suggested letting everyone know about their relationship, but Sungmin refused to do so. He didn't want Hyukjae’s friends to be awkward around him (and he didn't want to face the Kyuhyun he loved just to be hated no no never). Besides, he wanted Hyukjae to live a life that he chose, and let him carry all the burden of what the family had originally for both of them; studies, jobs, marriage. He knew it, even when Hyukjae and Donghae were still too oblivious of their own feelings, they were meant for each other.
Because to him, he was always the rightful person to be blame for everything. He deserved them. Because in the beginning, he didn't even have the right to live in this world.
“Careful, don't wanna be Frankenstein now, are we?” Kyuhyun opened the bathroom door from the outside and pointed at the blade in his hand, and Sungmin was pretty sure he was naked at that time, so his face turned redder than what a ripe tomato should have been. “Kyuhyun!”
“What? Oh, sorryaboutthatididntmeanto - you expect me to say that? COME ON! WHO WAS THE ONE THAT JUMPED ON ME WHEN I WAS SLEEPING TEN YEARS AGO??” he rolled his eyes as Sungmin ran to grab the towel at the hanger, when the latter (like what Kyuhyun should have expect to happen in such a condition) tripped on his own foot and fell backward, only to be caught by Kyuhyun.
“Geez... what happened to the cool Lee Sungmin that I hated in high school?”
“Uh, dead?” Kyuhyun smelled like mint and coffee, no more liquor odour lingering around him, and Sungmin felt something triggered inside his body; something naughty. He reflexively moaned, and something in between his two legs twitched. He looked at his feet, and then glanced at Kyuhyun’s arms that were still holding him, then to Kyuhyun’s face. Kyuhyun was grinning.
“Uuuu - somebody just got wicked.” Embarrassed, Sungmin quickly stood, covered his private part with his palms and grabbed the towel hanging on the hanger. “Thh - thanks, and porry.”
“You mean sorry?”
“SORRY!” Kyuhyun laughed so loud before he walked away, and Sungmin leaned against the bathroom door as soon as he closed it. “I never thought him to be so naughty like this...”
“Oh I’m usually as naughty. Don't worry.”
Sungmin blushed, and smiled into his palms.
-
Kyuhyun was still laughing when he walked to his living room, replaying what happened with the unexpectedly cute Lee Sungmin just then in his head. Maybe it really was because of the funny things that happened, or it was just due to the fact that he was too happy. Happy, because Lee Sungmin was alive.
He was weird; he clearly acknowledged the fact himself. He was trying so hard to accept that even though Lee Sungmin was dead, he finally in love with him just a few hours ago. Then when Lee Sungmin showed up and told him how he was still alive and not dead, he wished that Lee Sungmin was dead so that he wouldn’t have to face the trouble of telling Sungmin how he had finally fallen for him; after all these years of pulling the thread. His left chest didn't stop beating and burning with all wicked and lustful desires after he saw Sungmin’s pale and silky skin, naked body just now. It was hurting so much that he swore he could end up dying from a heartburst! You know; heart - bursting literally?
There was a scent of strawberry as Sungmin walked into the same room, and for some reason Kyuhyun was grateful that Ryeowook suggested him to choose the strawberry scented body foam when he (forced) asked him to shop for his house two weeks ago because somehow, strawberry felt as if it matched Sungmin’s now a bit skinny body. “Coffee?” he handed the slightly brownish coffee into his hands, and Sungmin thanked him before he pulled his extra long sleeves so that it would hide his hands, covering them from the heat around the mug. Kyuhyun felt as if he wanted to bite his own tongue till it bleed with this newfound *moe of Sungmin.
“Why are you letting me in?”
“You came in yourself.” Sungmin pouted, and then slowly blew the soft, dancing breath of the hot coffee from the top of the white mug. Kyuhyun chuckled, and took another sip from his own mug. “I didn't mean it like that.”
“Then what do you mean?” Kyuhyun put down the mug onto the glass table in front of him, and then lowered the volume of his television. The Gag Concert was pretty entertaining but oh come on he got a living dead next to him; now that was awesomeness.
“Won't I become a problem to you? Now that only you who know I’m still alive...”
“Well you’ve been a problem to me ever since I know you so don't bother being polite with me. Besides, you’re my best buddy’s brother.”
Sungmin muffled a ‘thanks’ and smiled. But something was colouring his face; like a wave of emotions trying to burst out from there. Kyuhyun thought ‘ah he don't want to talk anymore’ so he picked up the remote once again to raise the volume when he caught Sungmin’s eyes glancing a few times over the phone on the small stand next to the couch they were sitting on. He cancelled his intention earlier and tousled Sungmin’s hair. He wondered why he did that but without verbalising it, he smiled.
“You want him to stop being sad, aren’t you? Then call him.” Sungmin crinkled his nose, and his brows twitched. He then shook his head and took another sip from the mug.
“If I call him now, all my efforts will go down the drain. I want him to be independent enough to manage the company.”
“But don't you want to know whether he wants to have the company or not? I mean, knowing Hyukjae, he was happy as long as you remember his birthday, that’s all.” Sungmin’s mouth gaped, and he glanced at the phone once again.
“I... I’ll call him tomorrow.” Kyuhyun nodded in agreement, and continued watching the television. It was now the re-run of ‘2 Days 1 Night’ and there was Seunggi, Jiwon and Taewoong in a moving car trying to figure out a mission that the violent PD gave them earlier.
“Yeah, let’s leave that for tomorrow.”
A few minutes later when the commercial breaks started, Kyuhyun fixed his posture to be comfortable and faced Sungmin. Sungmin didn't do the same. Instead, with a flushing face he kept on holding to the cup of hot coffee and stared at the steam; he didn't want Kyuhyun to see his face. Kyuhyun stared stared stared at him as if he was drilling a hole on Sungmin’s face.
Sungmin’s neck was beautiful; it looked silky under the room’s lighting condition. The shadows that formed within the existence of the crooks near the collarbones were helping in a way that Kyuhyun didn't understand. Sungmin’s chin now that it was clear, it was sharp and his jaw lines were tempting as they slightly moved when Sungmin drank the coffee. His eyelashes weren’t so long, but the small curls of it made his eyes looked big and bright. His cupid bow was good in shape, and his lips were somehow pink and even though they were dry, they looked best enough that Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to resist the inner voice that told him to kiss them. His shoulders were visible since he pulled his sleeves earlier, and they were calling Kyuhyun to stare at them too.
If it was ten years ago, Kyuhyun would never took the time to look at Sungmin like this, adoring his beauty and finding out about his hidden cuteness. He would only try to find out the ways to beat him on girlfriends and studies. He would probably hiss and call him sissy if he saw this side of Sungmin back then.
If it was five years ago, he would be tempted to look at him like this, but he would be curtained with guiltiness and regrets, for looking at someone who was about to get married the next day. But if he had the chance to go wild back then, he probably would have tied Sungmin to a pole and never let him go to the wedding. But he didn't.
Probably it was the stare that made Sungmin feel uncomfortable, so he turned his face to the other side, and cleared his throat. Kyuhyun laughed, and his deep voice that resonated around the room made Sungmin feel as if for the first time, he was actually being wanted without being needed by someone, just as who he was. It was an undeniably weird comparison and obviously out of topic, but that was what he felt at the moment. He was actually wanted by someone. But he didn't want to make any blind assumptions so he tried his hardest to stay calm.
“Stop staring. It’s creepy.”
“Why not? You are worthy to be stared at.” Sungmin turned around to face him with a pair of widened foxy eyes. “Yes, you are worthy that much to me.” Kyuhyun slowly moved his hands and caressed Sungmin’s nape, to behind his ears, and cupped his face. “Don't look so shocked, I still haven’t reached the good part yet.”
He kissed Sungmin’s lips once; so gentle that it felt so sincere and innocent, so full love.
“If you didn't return tonight, I’ve decided to go single all my life.”
“Silly, that would be a waste.” Kyuhyun chuckled, and Sungmin smiled. Something warm welled up at the brim of his eyes.
“I know, silly isn’t it? So tell me again, the thing you told me that night before you got married.” Sungmin softly pushed his body away, and cocked his face aside. He was blushing again. “I don't remember anything. It was a long time ago. What thing?” Kyuhyun knew he was lying.
Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around Sungmin’s waist, and buried his nose inside the beautiful crook beneath Sungmin’s neck, breathed his warm breath and made Sungmin gasped. “That thing that needed a reply back then, but you didn't even wait for it. Tell me again, I want to hear it.”
And give you an answer for it.
Sungmin blushed even more when Kyuhyun looked up, peeking his face from where he put his head.
“I... love...”
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4