[One-shot] That One Moment When Cho Kyuhyun Was in the Right Time to be In Love
That One Moment When Cho Kyuhyun Was in the Right Time to be In Love | Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Victoria f(x), Jungsu(Leeteuk), Hyukjae(Eunhyuk), Donghae, Ryeowook, Jongwoon(Yesung), Siwon | one-shot, angst, comedy | NC-17
-
The mind doesn't choose whom you want to love.
It's the heart;
because it's the one that shows
signs of hurting and joy, literally.
- Anon.
-
Cho Kyuhyun had always dreamed for a minute of him who was not him. He dreamed of a beautiful girl by his side; a beautiful girl who loved him for him who was not him. he dreamed of running free in the street, holding hands with the beautiful girl without any ultra red burning laser pierced through their skins that came from the people who loved him for the real him, because; hey, he dreamed of becoming him who was not him after all. He dreamed of eating ice-cream and complained as cruel as he could when the taste wasn’t up to his expectation, and jogged on to the next ice-cream shop to compare the tastes without being scolded by the manager for ruining the image of Super Junior.
That was a metaphor. He never really liked ice-cream, really.
Lee Sungmin had always dreamed for a minute of him who was inside the dream Kyuhyun dreamed of. He dreamed of holding hands with Kyuhyun in the street, and has a cone of chocolate ice-cream while listening to Kyuhyun’s complaints about the taste of his ice-cream. He also dreamed of being dragged around to dozens of ice-cream shops by an unsatisfied Kyuhyun because uhmm, he was cute being like that.
That was an excuse. He dreamed of it because he liked Cho Kyuhyun. There’s nothing with being cute, really.
And Kyuhyun hated ice-cream.
-
When the Chinese girl with big, bright eyes-like his roommate always had-came inside the SM main building, Kyuhyun thought he was being the him who wasn’t him; that was the conclusion-after he spilled a cup of coffee which was purely coincidental with what an amazed reaction often happened, he kept pinching himself (literally) to make sure that he wasn't dreaming of being the not him. Even if it was a dream, then not bad Cho Kyuhyun, you were able to draw your dreams into reality. Maybe you should apply to appear in J. K. Rowling’s next epic, perhaps.
She bent hastily once she saw Heechul who was fixing his lip gloss and Hyukjae who was busy checking out the other girl who came in with her. Heechul nonchalantly nodded as he pulled the bag that was on Kyuhyun’s left shoulder and threw the lip gloss stick-wait a minute it was his-and brushed some few strings of his light brown hair from his forehead back to where they were supposed to be; the top of the head and gave Kyuhyun a quite distinctive sign-a desperate sigh, really-to do the same like him before turning around and smiled at the girls. Hyukjae then came running and stood still behind Kyuhyun’s tall built after he saw Donghae walking down the stairs with Sungmin, looking at him like what a gaylord lion would stare at his gay partner well you could find some lions who strayed from the righteous path in some goddamn savannahs anyway so ignore the metaphor since that was what Donghae seem like in Hyukjae’s eyes.
“Stop looking like you got a stick in your ass and smile, Kim Kyuhyun. These little girls one day are gonna be some hot mind-blowing bitches and you need to choose the right one,” the unexpectedly (really? Like, really?) straight hyung smacked; yes, literally smacked his back like he smacked Hankyung when he wanted to (force) kiss him and Hankyung spitted on his face when they were kissing, and laughed as if his laugh was what left on his face after Kyuhyun tripped his own feet and stumbled towards the Chinese girl with big eyes-
My little dream girl
-and was safely caught by a pair of strong arms which was not exactly the arms he was expecting to hold him (okay he was a pervert) when Sungmin pulled him back up on his feet and asked him if he was okay, dusting off the imaginative dusts away from his sweat shirt. Sungmin brushed his shoulders. There was a small giggle. He moved his eyes from the babbling Sungmin to where the giggle came from-
She was spreading off her charm with those twinkling, brown orbs
-the Chinese girl who then covered her smile with her smooth little hands, looking guilty and as if waiting to be eaten by Kyuhyun. Sungmin was still brushing his sleeves-
She was looking at me
-and Kyuhyun grabbed his wrists. “I’m okay, hyung.” Hyukjae pulled Sungmin away by the neck and knuckled his head while avoiding eye contact with the irritated Donghae next to Sungmin, scolding, “you shouldn’t pamper him too much, hyung, or he’ll be corrupted.”
“You mean to be totally debauched-Heechul hyung was responsible for the first damage done,” Sungmin corrected him absent-mindedly and Heechul, of course; snorted. “If we were vampires, then Kyuhyun should be one of my beloved underlings.” Sungmin and Hyukjae cocked their heads towards Heechul-something popped, Sungmin thought it was one of his aching muscles-as fast as they could and Heechul gave them the ‘this is what you get when you talked about uncommon things with common people’ look. Sungmin then was pulled away from Hyukjae’s arms and was now inside Donghae’s. Hyukjae snorted, and folded his arms.
“There’s nothing on the schedule until 7 for me and Sungmin hyung,” Donghae peeked his watch, and looked at Kyuhyun who was talking to the big-eyed Chinese girl. Trying to determine where exactly he was looking at, all the eyes now were focusing on them. probably what people were talking about the curse of the uppermen was true, because a few mere seconds later, Kyuhyun turned and looked at them with a face like a ghost has just shitted on his face. Sungmin (forced himself to) smiled, then pushed Donghae away and walked towards the exit. “If that so I want to take some nap and practice my guitar so I’m off, guys.”
Donghae glanced angrily at Hyukjae, and then he too, excused himself to follow Sungmin. Hyukjae clucked his tongue, knowing Donghae was still pissed at him for flirting earlier-what a petty man-and then dragged Heechul to have lunch with him. “Your treat!” the older man exclaimed, and now happily pulled Hyukjae’s hand towards the cafeteria. He should have seen this coming but oh well, just for today won't hurt a thing.
And for Kyuhyun, only when the girl left for a dance practice-she was on her way debuting for a group with a name that Kyuhyun liked since it was a mathematical symbol-that he realized all his hyung had left. he wanted to call Sungmin, asking for his whereabouts but his mind was still thinking about the Chinese girl with the name Victoria; like the mother of Europe and he liked it more since he loved history too, so in the end, he called Sungmin, only to say-
“Hyung, I think I’m in love.”
-and broke the heart on the other side of the line.
Kyuhyun really thought he was in love, but sometimes he didn't think so
-
“Don't you think it’s too soon?” Hyukjae asked; his voice was full of jealousy.
“You won't make it public, would you?” Jungsu’s turn; his voice was full of uncertainty.
“She doesn't want to make it public, yet. She just debuted for a goddamn week, hyung.” Kyuhyun answered lazily; maybe he was tired of being asked like that since he told them that he and Victoria was now a thing.
“Well if you know how to hide it, then I don't think we will have any problem, right, Jongwoon?” Ryeowook turned to Jongwoon for a confirmation but unfortunately the said guy was busy feeding the reptiles on his right and left shoulder. Ryeowook gritted his teeth and took both turtles, telling “we gonna have turtles for dinner!” to everyone, sending Jongwoon stumbling panicky towards the kitchen. Jungsu rubbed his temples and sighed, while Hyukjae still mumbled about not to be in love when you’re not supposed to at Kyuhyun who was now not in the mood of listening to anyone.
“She’s nice. Just ignore the others. If you think she’s worth this absurd commotion, which I think she does; then do it. It’s your own life anyway.” Sungmin who had finally stopped practicing his nunchucks’ moves came into the room and snatched the potato chips’ long case from Hyukjae’s hands. Kyuhyun thought if he was a cat, his ears might have twitched with excitement and contentment listening to at least one person who agreed-now that he’s at it, Kyuhyun remembered that Sungmin never against any of his ideas-with him without a doubt. From his lazy mood just now, he jumped off the sofa onto Sungmin’s back and said “I love you, hyung!” more than a dozen times-
He didn't know that Sungmin was thinking how he could just die happily with his hug
-before Sungmin locked his head under his sweaty right arm and knuckled his head.
“Just don't break her heart,”-
Like what you did to me with your innocent smiles
-“...and don't break your own.” Or I’ll be wounded, too.
-
He was pretty satisfied with the way he dreamed of him who was not him right now, because the beautiful girl that he often held hands with and went to check out the ice-cream flavours with was presented to him in his colourful dream with the small, gorgeous face of the Chinese girl whose name that he liked because he just loved Queen Victoria; and of course because of her big, bright eyes too.
He dreamed of them walking in the bustles of the always lively Seoul city, brushing shoulders with the commoners without the need of an extra long scarf around their faces or a half-face sized shades; simply in their favourite leisure outfits and shamelessly binding their fingers, laughing happily and whole-heartedly when they saw funny things, and participated in food-eating races in any restaurants and diners that offered (because Kyuhyun guessed someone as cheerful and easy-going as Victoria would never had a problem with eating till her heart content) since that was how a date supposed to be.
Except the date with the cheerful Victoria who would smile and followed him to wherever he dragged her-like what he always did with Sungmin when they went shopping overseas-was a fragment of Cho Kyuhyun’s dream of being him that was not him.
Eating ice-cream was part of the plan, but eating ice-cream with head ducked from the window panels wasn't a part of it. But he shrugged, ignored the unexpected since Victoria said “a secret dessert like this is pretty fun!” with those big eyes twinkling and swallowing him inside the hole they formed, and let his subconscious; a part of him who wasn't him to replace him and smiled-
Was not satisfied
-and nodded “yeah.”
Kyuhyun forgot to tell Victoria that ice-cream wasn't really one of his favourite desserts when they parted in front of her dorm that night, because she kissed him.
Sungmin was wondering alone inside the remains of the dream that he used to dream. Cho Kyuhyun was still there, but he was inside the ice-cream shops, tasting all the ice-creams with the Chinese girl. He was out of reach. Sometimes he sat at the seat where Kyuhyun sat once he went out from one of those shops with his girl, and Sungmin leaned to the glass where Kyuhyun rested his cheek if the seat was next to the big glass; a habit that Sungmin had seen since the first day he met the magnae.
“Am I are not allowed to dream of you, too?”
The walls of the remains inside the dream started to crack.
-
“We Got Married?” Kyuhyun swear if he was drinking some kind of juice-turned-acid-when-spitted drink at that moment, a headline of ‘SUPER JUNIOR’S EUNHYUK HOSPITALIZED FOR MAGNAE’S ACID ATTACK’ with Hyukjae’s face all wrapped up and his small picture in the corner with hands above head; the perpetrator.
“Yeah, with Nichkhun. And would you stop that spitting habit? You wet my comics too, last week.” Donghae tossed the towel on his head-since he had just finished showering-onto Hyukjae’s face, and helped the poor hyung to clean his face. Maybe it was embarrassing so Hyukjae finally shoved him off walked to the bathroom, saying “I’ll just bath again. Clean the floor, or Teukie hyung gonna explode.”
Donghae snorted, and made his way to the kitchen, slid open the head cabinet and pulled out a piece of dark chocolate wipe cloth. Kyuhyun was still restraining his eyes, defying their needs to be shut so that he could express how shocked and inexplicable his inner conscience right now.
“Why her?” Siwon’s head popped out of nowhere into the room, and asked. He had just returned from the upcoming teen drama he was working on, “25 And Virgin” where he played the role of a religious strip dancer who still hadn’t had the chance to get laid (of course at this point he still didn't know South Korea entertainment was going to ban the drama once it was out) and was encouraged by Jungsu to keep on going-the leader never failed to act as one when he was needed; the pay was important-and don't lose his faith to his interest. Kyuhyun blinked once, and as if an angel just fell off the sky into their messy and noisy dorm, he ran and hugged the tallest member of Super Junior (he swear he could hear “Hallelujah!”sang by an invisible chorus of cherubic when Siwon patted his head) and almost kissed the hyung’s cheek, when Sungmin sprang into the same room from the front door with a surprised face.
“Victoria is doing WGM with Khun! Kyu?” the available members inside the dorm sighed-“you’re an hour late for a roommate, Sungmin,” and back to focus on Kyuhyun. Sungmin exhaled; he was tired of running, climbing the stairs to the eleventh floor where most of the members were gathered right now (he was just guessing but instinct did the best when it should) because the elevator, of all the time; had chosen to broke down right the moment Sungmin needed it the most (fuck technology!), and Sungmin didn't have the slightest intention of telling any of the insensitive members of the dorm about it-that was after he taken his pride into account, too.
He could see the magnae’s thankful face slowly faded once he hooked his chin off Siwon’s shoulder, and plopped his ass onto the empty couch next to Donghae. “Didn't she tell you about this? She’s your girl, man. Even if you guys are still hiding under the carpet of it.” Kyuhyun wished that Donghae would put his common sense of a human into use, but yeah, he could just wish but Donghae was still Donghae after all.
“No - no she didn't.” Kyuhyun laced his fingers together at the back of his head; his eyes were staring at the floor soullessly. To be so stirred by some hopes that were encouraged by the dream of him who wasn't him; he was never prepared for what might not be real. Untangling his fingers, he moved his thumbs to his temples, rubbing them in a clockwise direction-
I never had this in my dream
-and lifted his head, staring at the hyungs in front and next to him repeatedly, as if he was searching for the answer in every pair of the blinking eyes. And then his eyes met Sungmin’s. He often felt this; an inconspicuous strength that Sungmin had always dispersed to the people around him, and being roommates for so long, Kyuhyun thought that sometimes, if Sungmin wasn't there then it would be impossible for him to do anything; metaphorically or literally. Blinked-
Hyung, tell me everything is gonna be alright
-and blinked, again. Sungmin flinched; his mouth gaped a little, and slowly pulled his eye lids down. He inhaled, held his breath, exhaled. And then he opened his eyes.
“You’re pathetic, Cho Kyuhyun. Suck up your whiny tail and be a pro; lift up your ass like what you did when you were on Starcraft.” Everyone turned to Sungmin as he folded his arms close to his chest, and sighed. His brows furrowed, as if he was thinking about a regretful thing. In dramas, usually after the side character spurted out some nasty yet encouraging words, they would then sat next to the main character who was down, and patted their back; maybe out of the fear losing the role, or just because it was to show that they were less important than the heroes.
But Sungmin stood still, not moving even for an inch. There was a cracking sound at the back of his mind-
The wall from the remaining of the dream was tumbling down from the top; inch by inch
-so he cleared his throat (and ignored the inaudible sound), and sighed again. He did sigh a lot these days.
“Be a man. Be her man. You love her? Then call her, tell her you knew about the program, and tell her it’s all going to be fine.” Kyuhyun blinked his eyes again, his lips trembled. Sungmin snorted.
“And don't cry. You’re the most hideous man I’ve ever met when you cry. And drunk.”
Because my eyes would be too blurred of my own tears when you cry
-
He never stopped dreaming of becoming him who wasn't him. And this time, he even dreamed of Victoria who wasn't Victoria. A common Kyuhyun and a common Victoria; two lovers with simple jobs and simple lives. They weren’t only crashing into ice-cream shops or candy shops or any shops they wanted to, they also went to the lake; a gorgeous lake that Kyuhyun had never seen in real life, far away from Seoul, of course. The lake that was always painted with the changing scenery of the sky-blue and bright in the morning, cloudless in the afternoon, orange in the evening, and filled with the reflections of stars every night-he loved that lake. But he failed to understand why Victoria always looked so dull when they were at the edge of the said lake, dipping their legs inside and fed the little fish with the bread crumbs of the sandwiches they had earlier.
Kyuhyun thought he understood Victoria enough to invite her inside this secret world of his.
He dreamed of the lake that he always loved. The lake that he found when he was a child at his grandparent’s house; the one that was always changing with the sky’s appearance-bright blue in the morning, hot and shiny in the afternoon, reddish in the evening, and stars seem to fell into it at night-and he always told Kyuhyun how he would love to go back to the house and take Kyuhyun with him so that he could show him the magic that nature gave him. And he did show Kyuhyun the picture of it. Kyuhyun said he loved it. he said maybe he was going to take his girlfriend with him to the lake, and propose to her there.
He never knew how bad Sungmin wanted to stare the stars with him at night beside the lake.
-
“I’m going to-“
“Kill him?” Sungmin sniggered; his eyes were still on the screen, as he moved the cursor to one of the thumbnails of dozens of pictures that showed how intimate Victoria and Khun were. There was a picture of them holding hands-it took them a month to finally reached the level of subtle skinship, and he couldn’t stop wondering how Victoria and Khun did less than that-and also a picture of them having picnic together.
“If you kill him, won't there be a bigger news? ‘CHO KYUHYUN’S JEALOUSY RAGED; KHUN KILLED’ and there’ll be a small picture of you looking like a zombie with fucking handcuffs around your wrists.” Kyuhyun grunted, and dishevelled his hair. Not like it was neat in the first place.
“Kyuhyun, it’s only been two months.” Kyuhyun put his index finger on his own lips, ushered Sungmin to be quiet. “It HAS been two freaking months, hyung. Two months I watched them dating openly, went to our fuckingly perfect dating places, and what did I get? A fucking night date every two other weeks!”
“Did you get it?” Kyuhyun stopped pulling his hair from its place when Sungmin asked him the question; bluntly and almost innocently. But he figured later that he was the innocent one when Sungmin repeated the same question; this time in a sing-song voice that sounded a bit too close to the lullaby that he had almost every time he dreamed.
Of Victoria. Of the ice-creams that he didn't really favour. Of the lake that he loved.
“You didn't, huh?” Sungmin snorted, and that pulled him back into the reality in an instance. Sungmin smirked, and arose from the mobile chair that once succeed in turning Kyuhyun upside down when he was maniacally cheering for his troops after they entered the fort of the enemies. Sungmin recorded that, and he was forced to pay for lunch more than three weeks or the video will leak. He never thought that bloopers would sell well then.
He plopped on the soft, pink carpet that covered the floor of their room on Sungmin’s side, and palmed his face. His anger subsided, but still, he’ll kill Khun whenever he could. Though he doubted Victoria will let him. She kept saying and reminding him of their job-satisfying the hearts of the fans, contribute the ratings of the damn show, and be a professional with it-eat that Cho Kyuhyun. You’ve officially been stamped as childish.
“We...almost did it, once. Remember the night when Shindong and Nara celebrated their anniversary?” Sungmin choked on his own breath; swallowing his own medicine-turned-poison. He cocked his head aside when Kyuhyun looked at him with slanted eyes. “Don't mock me. The mood was good, the timing was great, but-”
A big part of the wall in his dream were crashing down, like avalanche
“-she said she wasn't ready. She said she still has a long way to go, and we both should make the future our first priority.” He started to wonder where was the fun of being in love that he dreamed of. He was blaming himself that Victoria was not exactly the Victoria he brought into his dream. Victoria was cheerful, Victoria was easy-going; a kind of girl that made everyone fall in love with. Really, Victoria was all of that.
But Kyuhyun missed a large portion of Victoria’s personality. Victoria was a realist.
Sungmin sat down, stretched his legs, his arms and sighed after a few sounds of old bones clashed against each other. “What should I do with you, Cho Kyuhyun? You’re so important to me I feel so sick just thinking about you.” That was purely an accident; saying things like that was not something that Sungmin would do, not when he spitted the words onto the face of the last person that he hoped would hear it.
“Hyung?” but his voice was clear and he didn't stutter, and Kyuhyun thought Sungmin was mumbling to himself, when he saw the fisted hands and the blossoming cheeks, along with twitching brows that somehow made Sungmin so not Sungmin.
“Fuck you. You’re important. To me.”
He saw Sungmin inside his dream, standing outside the fourth ice-cream shop that he entered with Victoria. They were laughing, feeding scoops of various flavours of ice-cream (he already felt sick) when he turned to his right, and saw his hyung. Since when did he step into his secret world?
-
Hot breath, tongues clashing-
“Kyuhyun, the oat is dripping.” Jungsu pointed with his spoon. Kyuhyun didn't hear it.
-hands caressing everywhere, flat chest rubbed together, the feeling inside someone else
“Kyuhyun, your milk!” his hand was red, the warmth of the milk was too much for his skin. Hyukjae grabbed a small towel and wrapped his hand.
Sungmin was beneath him; his legs spread apart. Fingers, he dug inside the small opening, and it was tight. It was swallowing his fingers. “Don't. Don't tease.” His cheeks were too red, and his lips were gaping. A subtle way of asking to be kissed-
“Kyuhyun!! Wake up!! Geez what fuck did you do last night???” Siwon cussed and all the commotion stopped. But even though a miracle was happening in front of his eyes, Kyuhyun didn't respond.
-it was wet enough, and loose enough for him. Kyuhyun glanced at Sungmin. “Are you...sure?” Sungmin blinked his doe eyes, and nodded. Slowly he pushed his member in. Sungmin moaned, and there was something flickered inside his head. He was totally turned on.
“Siwon, get his ass off the table and put him into the van! We’re going to the clinic! Jesus, what happened to this boy?? And where’s Sungmin??” Kyuhyun flinched when Jungsu called Sungmin’s name. He struggled when Siwon lifted him from his seat, but failed to escape. “Fuck! Kyuhyun, calm down! What the hell are you being so furious about??” Siwon cussed for the second and third time. Kyuhyun ignored the miracle again, and stared at the closed door of their room.
He didn't stop even when Sungmin asked him to, because he knew; he somehow knew Sungmin didn't want him to stop. Sungmin wanted him more. His hands were clenching Kyuhyun’s back; his fingernails dug inside his skin, and Kyuhyun groaned. It was hurt. It was intense. It was full of pleasure. His hips worked more than when he was doing the hip thrust in Bonamana. And he didn't stop when Sungmin came, splattering the milky liquid on his abs.
“Sungmin.” everyone stopped-chattering, shouting, panicking, worrying-everything stopped, as if a huge remote was being pressed on the ‘Pause/Play’ button, and the whole world stopped spinning. Kyuhyun pulled his hand away from Hyukjae’s towel, and his body away from Siwon’s grips.
“I...slept with Sungmin hyung last night. The fuck that I was doing last night, was with Sungmin hyung.”
Heechul continued stuffing his mouth with a piece of chopped apple; and snorted.
-
The press received intelligent from the leader of Super Junior, Leeteuk, that Lee Sungmin was having a wreck from his over-worked body, and was allowed to rest at dorm for the whole week. But all the members knew that that wasn't the real thing.
He refused to come out of his room.
Cho Kyuhyun, on the contrary, was trying his best not to miss any occasion involving KRY, Super Junior M, SM The Ballad and just gave him anything, anything that would make him forget about the night he had with Sungmin, or the stress that now had gotten bigger since he had no one else to talk to about Victoria and the stupid WGM.
That was ridiculously obvious.
“This is stupid, Lee Sungmin! You better get out from that fucking room or I’ll break down the door!” Jungsu finally reached his limit, and all that’s left was for Heechul to bring out the-god knows where he got it-chainsaw from his room. Kyuhyun wasn't there, and it wasn't like he would be able to stop the two hyungs from rampaging his room; Jungsu for his responsibility, Heechul for pure, wicked amusement.
The sounds of chainsaw screaming from the eleventh floor burst through the cold night.
-
They were having a break, and Victoria was comfortably having a chat with Khun, hands touched face, fixed hair. If it wasn't because of what happened between him and Sungmin, Khun would probably have the trouble to eat; if a dislocated jaw could bring that kind of damage.
“I told you, not here! No one supposed to know were-”
“You don't need to say it if you don't want them to know, Qian.” Kyuhyun smiled. Victoria knew it wasn't the smile that he always wore on his face. She folded her arms, and pouted. “Fake smile. Are you troubled by something, Kuixian?” his Chinese name was Victoria’s favourite. She rarely called him with his birth name. She said to have a Chinese name would make him more fit to be with her-so she wasn't the one who’s adjusting-and she liked it; chemistry, she added.
She looked around, and dragged Kyuhyun to a hidden corner where no one (she hoped) would see them, and cupped Kyuhyun’s cheeks, as tenderly as she could. “What happened?”
“Do we have to hide?” Victoria thought it was sarcasm, so she pouted again, and nodded. “We’re still unofficial, remember?” a chaste kiss on his left cheek. It felt so insincere. Kyuhyun sniggered sadly.
“Not here. Not right now. Kuixian, we’ve talked about this, weren’t we?” he stared blankly at his running shoes. Sungmin suggested him to buy it. He said it’s easier to run from crazy fangirls. He sniggered again.
“Then let’s talk again. Let’s talk, and then have a good fucking fight, and talk again. Because all we ever did was talk. All the love that you have for me is all talk, isn’t it?” Victoria held his wrists tight, and looked around again, before she sighed and spoke.
“Then what do you want me to do?” her cute accent was clear; it was always clear when she was unable to control her emotions. “We’re too young for a commitment. And you, you’ve got a bright future in front of you. I don't want to halt you midway, and I clearly don't want you to stop mine.”
Kyuhyun didn't reply. Victoria sighed.
“You are too much for me, Kuixian. I love you, but you’re just too much for me.” Something warm brimmed on the edges of her eyes, and she wiped it quickly. Kyuhyun smiled, this time he meant it. He took the time to look at her face, her small hands, her big, doe eyes-
There was a sudden realisation, really. When he traced back everything about Victoria, he found something similar to Sungmin. Her big, bright eyes, her curvy lips, her gentle touches, sometimes even the way she giggled. They were all pretty similar to Lee Sungmin.
“And you’re still not good enough for me to have, right?” Victoria lifted her head; tears brimming again, and then pouted.
“Yeah, yeah I know. In fact, I’ll never be good enough for you, Cho Kyuhyun.” He embraced the slim built in front of him, and kissed her lips as gentle as he could. this time Victoria didn't took the time to observe her surrounding, because in one way or the other, she’ll have an excuse to say to the press; they’ve never been together or they’re not together anymore.
“It was fun to love you, Song Qian.”
-
He screamed when he saw what happened to his door. There was no door, actually.
“Yah, Park Jungsu! What the hell have you done to my room???!!” Donghae and Hyukjae, together with Siwon were doing some kind of a combination between the limbs of their bodies, whatever they thought of calling it just in time to stop Kyuhyun from literally kill the only leader of the group. “It’s because Sungmin didn't want to come out from there!! A leader got to do what a leader got to do!!”
Kyuhyun stood up straight, and apparently the limb combination that the three other hyungs made to stop him was somehow depended on his axis, which sent them sprawling on the floor after he fixed his posture. “Damn magnae.”
“Where is he, then?”
“Who?” Jungsu asked, almost innocently that made Kyuhyun felt like throwing a punch to his face.
“Kim Youngwoon.”
“Don't fuck with me, magnae.” Kyuhyun lifted his hands, surrendering. Jungsu cleared his throat, and pointed at the balcony of the dorm. The sliding door was open, and the breeze was pushing the white curtain to dance along with its move. Sungmin was leaning against the metal railing that pretty much a safety precaution if any of them refuse to be under the dictatorship of SM anymore and want to die. His hands were full; he was eating cup ramen.
“Hey.” Kyuhyun greeted, and he almost choked when he saw the magnae leaning on the same railing, next to him.
“H-hey.”
“You look...slimmer.” Sungmin chuckled. Kyuhyun smiled.
“A week of diet pays off.”
“After a great sex.” Kyuhyun threw the bait. Sungmin was silent, and he started to freak out. “I-I was joking.”
Sungmin lifted his head; his eyes were glittering as the tears were filling every corner of the sockets.
“Which one was a joke? The great sex; or the great sex?” his lips started to pursed, and that was undeniably adorable. If he was drunk, he could possibly think that Lee Sungmin was the incarnation of Pororo the Little Penguin. He laughed, and his deep voice resonated around the balcony, and dispersed into the thin air. Lee Sungmin stopped crying, and furrowed his brow.
At that moment, Kyuhyun was confirmed with his choice.
-
Cho Kyuhyun never stopped dreaming. He dreamed of rows of kiosks with multiple choices of wine, because now he finally realised that he never really liked ice-cream; alcohol was the better choice. He dreamed of waiting for someone for hours, upset and irritated but he could never leave, because that someone was a part of his dream. A big part of his dream.
There were sounds of walls crumbling down; walls of the dreams he dreamed about him who wasn't him, and Victoria who wasn't Victoria. They’re collapsing, because the dream has ended. It was a really nice dream, though. But in the end, that wasn't the dream he was waiting for.
He was dreaming of him who was him. Because the person he was waiting for loved him for the real him. Complicated?
Pretty much. But-
“Kyuhyun! Sorry I’m late!! The recording went out of the schedule!! Were you waiting?”
“Not really. Just a few more minutes to a complete three hours.” Sungmin punched his shoulder playfully, before he entwined their hands together and drew each of them closer to warm them up. Sungmin cooed him so that he won't get angry, and as usual Sungmin radiated something that always kept him calm. Always.
He found out later that it was love.
Back to the complicated. Yeah it was complicated, because in the end, he finally realised, that it was better to be the real him who was him, because Sungmin loved the him who was him. And to be in love with someone as sweet as Lee Sungmin; it was pretty much like a dream itself.
And Cho Kyuhyun was sure; he was now in the right time to be completely in love.
-The End-
-
The mind doesn't choose whom you want to love.
It's the heart;
because it's the one that shows
signs of hurting and joy, literally.
- Anon.
-
Cho Kyuhyun had always dreamed for a minute of him who was not him. He dreamed of a beautiful girl by his side; a beautiful girl who loved him for him who was not him. he dreamed of running free in the street, holding hands with the beautiful girl without any ultra red burning laser pierced through their skins that came from the people who loved him for the real him, because; hey, he dreamed of becoming him who was not him after all. He dreamed of eating ice-cream and complained as cruel as he could when the taste wasn’t up to his expectation, and jogged on to the next ice-cream shop to compare the tastes without being scolded by the manager for ruining the image of Super Junior.
That was a metaphor. He never really liked ice-cream, really.
Lee Sungmin had always dreamed for a minute of him who was inside the dream Kyuhyun dreamed of. He dreamed of holding hands with Kyuhyun in the street, and has a cone of chocolate ice-cream while listening to Kyuhyun’s complaints about the taste of his ice-cream. He also dreamed of being dragged around to dozens of ice-cream shops by an unsatisfied Kyuhyun because uhmm, he was cute being like that.
That was an excuse. He dreamed of it because he liked Cho Kyuhyun. There’s nothing with being cute, really.
And Kyuhyun hated ice-cream.
-
When the Chinese girl with big, bright eyes-like his roommate always had-came inside the SM main building, Kyuhyun thought he was being the him who wasn’t him; that was the conclusion-after he spilled a cup of coffee which was purely coincidental with what an amazed reaction often happened, he kept pinching himself (literally) to make sure that he wasn't dreaming of being the not him. Even if it was a dream, then not bad Cho Kyuhyun, you were able to draw your dreams into reality. Maybe you should apply to appear in J. K. Rowling’s next epic, perhaps.
She bent hastily once she saw Heechul who was fixing his lip gloss and Hyukjae who was busy checking out the other girl who came in with her. Heechul nonchalantly nodded as he pulled the bag that was on Kyuhyun’s left shoulder and threw the lip gloss stick-wait a minute it was his-and brushed some few strings of his light brown hair from his forehead back to where they were supposed to be; the top of the head and gave Kyuhyun a quite distinctive sign-a desperate sigh, really-to do the same like him before turning around and smiled at the girls. Hyukjae then came running and stood still behind Kyuhyun’s tall built after he saw Donghae walking down the stairs with Sungmin, looking at him like what a gaylord lion would stare at his gay partner well you could find some lions who strayed from the righteous path in some goddamn savannahs anyway so ignore the metaphor since that was what Donghae seem like in Hyukjae’s eyes.
“Stop looking like you got a stick in your ass and smile, Kim Kyuhyun. These little girls one day are gonna be some hot mind-blowing bitches and you need to choose the right one,” the unexpectedly (really? Like, really?) straight hyung smacked; yes, literally smacked his back like he smacked Hankyung when he wanted to (force) kiss him and Hankyung spitted on his face when they were kissing, and laughed as if his laugh was what left on his face after Kyuhyun tripped his own feet and stumbled towards the Chinese girl with big eyes-
My little dream girl
-and was safely caught by a pair of strong arms which was not exactly the arms he was expecting to hold him (okay he was a pervert) when Sungmin pulled him back up on his feet and asked him if he was okay, dusting off the imaginative dusts away from his sweat shirt. Sungmin brushed his shoulders. There was a small giggle. He moved his eyes from the babbling Sungmin to where the giggle came from-
She was spreading off her charm with those twinkling, brown orbs
-the Chinese girl who then covered her smile with her smooth little hands, looking guilty and as if waiting to be eaten by Kyuhyun. Sungmin was still brushing his sleeves-
She was looking at me
-and Kyuhyun grabbed his wrists. “I’m okay, hyung.” Hyukjae pulled Sungmin away by the neck and knuckled his head while avoiding eye contact with the irritated Donghae next to Sungmin, scolding, “you shouldn’t pamper him too much, hyung, or he’ll be corrupted.”
“You mean to be totally debauched-Heechul hyung was responsible for the first damage done,” Sungmin corrected him absent-mindedly and Heechul, of course; snorted. “If we were vampires, then Kyuhyun should be one of my beloved underlings.” Sungmin and Hyukjae cocked their heads towards Heechul-something popped, Sungmin thought it was one of his aching muscles-as fast as they could and Heechul gave them the ‘this is what you get when you talked about uncommon things with common people’ look. Sungmin then was pulled away from Hyukjae’s arms and was now inside Donghae’s. Hyukjae snorted, and folded his arms.
“There’s nothing on the schedule until 7 for me and Sungmin hyung,” Donghae peeked his watch, and looked at Kyuhyun who was talking to the big-eyed Chinese girl. Trying to determine where exactly he was looking at, all the eyes now were focusing on them. probably what people were talking about the curse of the uppermen was true, because a few mere seconds later, Kyuhyun turned and looked at them with a face like a ghost has just shitted on his face. Sungmin (forced himself to) smiled, then pushed Donghae away and walked towards the exit. “If that so I want to take some nap and practice my guitar so I’m off, guys.”
Donghae glanced angrily at Hyukjae, and then he too, excused himself to follow Sungmin. Hyukjae clucked his tongue, knowing Donghae was still pissed at him for flirting earlier-what a petty man-and then dragged Heechul to have lunch with him. “Your treat!” the older man exclaimed, and now happily pulled Hyukjae’s hand towards the cafeteria. He should have seen this coming but oh well, just for today won't hurt a thing.
And for Kyuhyun, only when the girl left for a dance practice-she was on her way debuting for a group with a name that Kyuhyun liked since it was a mathematical symbol-that he realized all his hyung had left. he wanted to call Sungmin, asking for his whereabouts but his mind was still thinking about the Chinese girl with the name Victoria; like the mother of Europe and he liked it more since he loved history too, so in the end, he called Sungmin, only to say-
“Hyung, I think I’m in love.”
-and broke the heart on the other side of the line.
Kyuhyun really thought he was in love, but sometimes he didn't think so
-
“Don't you think it’s too soon?” Hyukjae asked; his voice was full of jealousy.
“You won't make it public, would you?” Jungsu’s turn; his voice was full of uncertainty.
“She doesn't want to make it public, yet. She just debuted for a goddamn week, hyung.” Kyuhyun answered lazily; maybe he was tired of being asked like that since he told them that he and Victoria was now a thing.
“Well if you know how to hide it, then I don't think we will have any problem, right, Jongwoon?” Ryeowook turned to Jongwoon for a confirmation but unfortunately the said guy was busy feeding the reptiles on his right and left shoulder. Ryeowook gritted his teeth and took both turtles, telling “we gonna have turtles for dinner!” to everyone, sending Jongwoon stumbling panicky towards the kitchen. Jungsu rubbed his temples and sighed, while Hyukjae still mumbled about not to be in love when you’re not supposed to at Kyuhyun who was now not in the mood of listening to anyone.
“She’s nice. Just ignore the others. If you think she’s worth this absurd commotion, which I think she does; then do it. It’s your own life anyway.” Sungmin who had finally stopped practicing his nunchucks’ moves came into the room and snatched the potato chips’ long case from Hyukjae’s hands. Kyuhyun thought if he was a cat, his ears might have twitched with excitement and contentment listening to at least one person who agreed-now that he’s at it, Kyuhyun remembered that Sungmin never against any of his ideas-with him without a doubt. From his lazy mood just now, he jumped off the sofa onto Sungmin’s back and said “I love you, hyung!” more than a dozen times-
He didn't know that Sungmin was thinking how he could just die happily with his hug
-before Sungmin locked his head under his sweaty right arm and knuckled his head.
“Just don't break her heart,”-
Like what you did to me with your innocent smiles
-“...and don't break your own.” Or I’ll be wounded, too.
-
He was pretty satisfied with the way he dreamed of him who was not him right now, because the beautiful girl that he often held hands with and went to check out the ice-cream flavours with was presented to him in his colourful dream with the small, gorgeous face of the Chinese girl whose name that he liked because he just loved Queen Victoria; and of course because of her big, bright eyes too.
He dreamed of them walking in the bustles of the always lively Seoul city, brushing shoulders with the commoners without the need of an extra long scarf around their faces or a half-face sized shades; simply in their favourite leisure outfits and shamelessly binding their fingers, laughing happily and whole-heartedly when they saw funny things, and participated in food-eating races in any restaurants and diners that offered (because Kyuhyun guessed someone as cheerful and easy-going as Victoria would never had a problem with eating till her heart content) since that was how a date supposed to be.
Except the date with the cheerful Victoria who would smile and followed him to wherever he dragged her-like what he always did with Sungmin when they went shopping overseas-was a fragment of Cho Kyuhyun’s dream of being him that was not him.
Eating ice-cream was part of the plan, but eating ice-cream with head ducked from the window panels wasn't a part of it. But he shrugged, ignored the unexpected since Victoria said “a secret dessert like this is pretty fun!” with those big eyes twinkling and swallowing him inside the hole they formed, and let his subconscious; a part of him who wasn't him to replace him and smiled-
Was not satisfied
-and nodded “yeah.”
Kyuhyun forgot to tell Victoria that ice-cream wasn't really one of his favourite desserts when they parted in front of her dorm that night, because she kissed him.
Sungmin was wondering alone inside the remains of the dream that he used to dream. Cho Kyuhyun was still there, but he was inside the ice-cream shops, tasting all the ice-creams with the Chinese girl. He was out of reach. Sometimes he sat at the seat where Kyuhyun sat once he went out from one of those shops with his girl, and Sungmin leaned to the glass where Kyuhyun rested his cheek if the seat was next to the big glass; a habit that Sungmin had seen since the first day he met the magnae.
“Am I are not allowed to dream of you, too?”
The walls of the remains inside the dream started to crack.
-
“We Got Married?” Kyuhyun swear if he was drinking some kind of juice-turned-acid-when-spitted drink at that moment, a headline of ‘SUPER JUNIOR’S EUNHYUK HOSPITALIZED FOR MAGNAE’S ACID ATTACK’ with Hyukjae’s face all wrapped up and his small picture in the corner with hands above head; the perpetrator.
“Yeah, with Nichkhun. And would you stop that spitting habit? You wet my comics too, last week.” Donghae tossed the towel on his head-since he had just finished showering-onto Hyukjae’s face, and helped the poor hyung to clean his face. Maybe it was embarrassing so Hyukjae finally shoved him off walked to the bathroom, saying “I’ll just bath again. Clean the floor, or Teukie hyung gonna explode.”
Donghae snorted, and made his way to the kitchen, slid open the head cabinet and pulled out a piece of dark chocolate wipe cloth. Kyuhyun was still restraining his eyes, defying their needs to be shut so that he could express how shocked and inexplicable his inner conscience right now.
“Why her?” Siwon’s head popped out of nowhere into the room, and asked. He had just returned from the upcoming teen drama he was working on, “25 And Virgin” where he played the role of a religious strip dancer who still hadn’t had the chance to get laid (of course at this point he still didn't know South Korea entertainment was going to ban the drama once it was out) and was encouraged by Jungsu to keep on going-the leader never failed to act as one when he was needed; the pay was important-and don't lose his faith to his interest. Kyuhyun blinked once, and as if an angel just fell off the sky into their messy and noisy dorm, he ran and hugged the tallest member of Super Junior (he swear he could hear “Hallelujah!”sang by an invisible chorus of cherubic when Siwon patted his head) and almost kissed the hyung’s cheek, when Sungmin sprang into the same room from the front door with a surprised face.
“Victoria is doing WGM with Khun! Kyu?” the available members inside the dorm sighed-“you’re an hour late for a roommate, Sungmin,” and back to focus on Kyuhyun. Sungmin exhaled; he was tired of running, climbing the stairs to the eleventh floor where most of the members were gathered right now (he was just guessing but instinct did the best when it should) because the elevator, of all the time; had chosen to broke down right the moment Sungmin needed it the most (fuck technology!), and Sungmin didn't have the slightest intention of telling any of the insensitive members of the dorm about it-that was after he taken his pride into account, too.
He could see the magnae’s thankful face slowly faded once he hooked his chin off Siwon’s shoulder, and plopped his ass onto the empty couch next to Donghae. “Didn't she tell you about this? She’s your girl, man. Even if you guys are still hiding under the carpet of it.” Kyuhyun wished that Donghae would put his common sense of a human into use, but yeah, he could just wish but Donghae was still Donghae after all.
“No - no she didn't.” Kyuhyun laced his fingers together at the back of his head; his eyes were staring at the floor soullessly. To be so stirred by some hopes that were encouraged by the dream of him who wasn't him; he was never prepared for what might not be real. Untangling his fingers, he moved his thumbs to his temples, rubbing them in a clockwise direction-
I never had this in my dream
-and lifted his head, staring at the hyungs in front and next to him repeatedly, as if he was searching for the answer in every pair of the blinking eyes. And then his eyes met Sungmin’s. He often felt this; an inconspicuous strength that Sungmin had always dispersed to the people around him, and being roommates for so long, Kyuhyun thought that sometimes, if Sungmin wasn't there then it would be impossible for him to do anything; metaphorically or literally. Blinked-
Hyung, tell me everything is gonna be alright
-and blinked, again. Sungmin flinched; his mouth gaped a little, and slowly pulled his eye lids down. He inhaled, held his breath, exhaled. And then he opened his eyes.
“You’re pathetic, Cho Kyuhyun. Suck up your whiny tail and be a pro; lift up your ass like what you did when you were on Starcraft.” Everyone turned to Sungmin as he folded his arms close to his chest, and sighed. His brows furrowed, as if he was thinking about a regretful thing. In dramas, usually after the side character spurted out some nasty yet encouraging words, they would then sat next to the main character who was down, and patted their back; maybe out of the fear losing the role, or just because it was to show that they were less important than the heroes.
But Sungmin stood still, not moving even for an inch. There was a cracking sound at the back of his mind-
The wall from the remaining of the dream was tumbling down from the top; inch by inch
-so he cleared his throat (and ignored the inaudible sound), and sighed again. He did sigh a lot these days.
“Be a man. Be her man. You love her? Then call her, tell her you knew about the program, and tell her it’s all going to be fine.” Kyuhyun blinked his eyes again, his lips trembled. Sungmin snorted.
“And don't cry. You’re the most hideous man I’ve ever met when you cry. And drunk.”
Because my eyes would be too blurred of my own tears when you cry
-
He never stopped dreaming of becoming him who wasn't him. And this time, he even dreamed of Victoria who wasn't Victoria. A common Kyuhyun and a common Victoria; two lovers with simple jobs and simple lives. They weren’t only crashing into ice-cream shops or candy shops or any shops they wanted to, they also went to the lake; a gorgeous lake that Kyuhyun had never seen in real life, far away from Seoul, of course. The lake that was always painted with the changing scenery of the sky-blue and bright in the morning, cloudless in the afternoon, orange in the evening, and filled with the reflections of stars every night-he loved that lake. But he failed to understand why Victoria always looked so dull when they were at the edge of the said lake, dipping their legs inside and fed the little fish with the bread crumbs of the sandwiches they had earlier.
Kyuhyun thought he understood Victoria enough to invite her inside this secret world of his.
He dreamed of the lake that he always loved. The lake that he found when he was a child at his grandparent’s house; the one that was always changing with the sky’s appearance-bright blue in the morning, hot and shiny in the afternoon, reddish in the evening, and stars seem to fell into it at night-and he always told Kyuhyun how he would love to go back to the house and take Kyuhyun with him so that he could show him the magic that nature gave him. And he did show Kyuhyun the picture of it. Kyuhyun said he loved it. he said maybe he was going to take his girlfriend with him to the lake, and propose to her there.
He never knew how bad Sungmin wanted to stare the stars with him at night beside the lake.
-
“I’m going to-“
“Kill him?” Sungmin sniggered; his eyes were still on the screen, as he moved the cursor to one of the thumbnails of dozens of pictures that showed how intimate Victoria and Khun were. There was a picture of them holding hands-it took them a month to finally reached the level of subtle skinship, and he couldn’t stop wondering how Victoria and Khun did less than that-and also a picture of them having picnic together.
“If you kill him, won't there be a bigger news? ‘CHO KYUHYUN’S JEALOUSY RAGED; KHUN KILLED’ and there’ll be a small picture of you looking like a zombie with fucking handcuffs around your wrists.” Kyuhyun grunted, and dishevelled his hair. Not like it was neat in the first place.
“Kyuhyun, it’s only been two months.” Kyuhyun put his index finger on his own lips, ushered Sungmin to be quiet. “It HAS been two freaking months, hyung. Two months I watched them dating openly, went to our fuckingly perfect dating places, and what did I get? A fucking night date every two other weeks!”
“Did you get it?” Kyuhyun stopped pulling his hair from its place when Sungmin asked him the question; bluntly and almost innocently. But he figured later that he was the innocent one when Sungmin repeated the same question; this time in a sing-song voice that sounded a bit too close to the lullaby that he had almost every time he dreamed.
Of Victoria. Of the ice-creams that he didn't really favour. Of the lake that he loved.
“You didn't, huh?” Sungmin snorted, and that pulled him back into the reality in an instance. Sungmin smirked, and arose from the mobile chair that once succeed in turning Kyuhyun upside down when he was maniacally cheering for his troops after they entered the fort of the enemies. Sungmin recorded that, and he was forced to pay for lunch more than three weeks or the video will leak. He never thought that bloopers would sell well then.
He plopped on the soft, pink carpet that covered the floor of their room on Sungmin’s side, and palmed his face. His anger subsided, but still, he’ll kill Khun whenever he could. Though he doubted Victoria will let him. She kept saying and reminding him of their job-satisfying the hearts of the fans, contribute the ratings of the damn show, and be a professional with it-eat that Cho Kyuhyun. You’ve officially been stamped as childish.
“We...almost did it, once. Remember the night when Shindong and Nara celebrated their anniversary?” Sungmin choked on his own breath; swallowing his own medicine-turned-poison. He cocked his head aside when Kyuhyun looked at him with slanted eyes. “Don't mock me. The mood was good, the timing was great, but-”
A big part of the wall in his dream were crashing down, like avalanche
“-she said she wasn't ready. She said she still has a long way to go, and we both should make the future our first priority.” He started to wonder where was the fun of being in love that he dreamed of. He was blaming himself that Victoria was not exactly the Victoria he brought into his dream. Victoria was cheerful, Victoria was easy-going; a kind of girl that made everyone fall in love with. Really, Victoria was all of that.
But Kyuhyun missed a large portion of Victoria’s personality. Victoria was a realist.
Sungmin sat down, stretched his legs, his arms and sighed after a few sounds of old bones clashed against each other. “What should I do with you, Cho Kyuhyun? You’re so important to me I feel so sick just thinking about you.” That was purely an accident; saying things like that was not something that Sungmin would do, not when he spitted the words onto the face of the last person that he hoped would hear it.
“Hyung?” but his voice was clear and he didn't stutter, and Kyuhyun thought Sungmin was mumbling to himself, when he saw the fisted hands and the blossoming cheeks, along with twitching brows that somehow made Sungmin so not Sungmin.
“Fuck you. You’re important. To me.”
He saw Sungmin inside his dream, standing outside the fourth ice-cream shop that he entered with Victoria. They were laughing, feeding scoops of various flavours of ice-cream (he already felt sick) when he turned to his right, and saw his hyung. Since when did he step into his secret world?
-
Hot breath, tongues clashing-
“Kyuhyun, the oat is dripping.” Jungsu pointed with his spoon. Kyuhyun didn't hear it.
-hands caressing everywhere, flat chest rubbed together, the feeling inside someone else
“Kyuhyun, your milk!” his hand was red, the warmth of the milk was too much for his skin. Hyukjae grabbed a small towel and wrapped his hand.
Sungmin was beneath him; his legs spread apart. Fingers, he dug inside the small opening, and it was tight. It was swallowing his fingers. “Don't. Don't tease.” His cheeks were too red, and his lips were gaping. A subtle way of asking to be kissed-
“Kyuhyun!! Wake up!! Geez what fuck did you do last night???” Siwon cussed and all the commotion stopped. But even though a miracle was happening in front of his eyes, Kyuhyun didn't respond.
-it was wet enough, and loose enough for him. Kyuhyun glanced at Sungmin. “Are you...sure?” Sungmin blinked his doe eyes, and nodded. Slowly he pushed his member in. Sungmin moaned, and there was something flickered inside his head. He was totally turned on.
“Siwon, get his ass off the table and put him into the van! We’re going to the clinic! Jesus, what happened to this boy?? And where’s Sungmin??” Kyuhyun flinched when Jungsu called Sungmin’s name. He struggled when Siwon lifted him from his seat, but failed to escape. “Fuck! Kyuhyun, calm down! What the hell are you being so furious about??” Siwon cussed for the second and third time. Kyuhyun ignored the miracle again, and stared at the closed door of their room.
He didn't stop even when Sungmin asked him to, because he knew; he somehow knew Sungmin didn't want him to stop. Sungmin wanted him more. His hands were clenching Kyuhyun’s back; his fingernails dug inside his skin, and Kyuhyun groaned. It was hurt. It was intense. It was full of pleasure. His hips worked more than when he was doing the hip thrust in Bonamana. And he didn't stop when Sungmin came, splattering the milky liquid on his abs.
“Sungmin.” everyone stopped-chattering, shouting, panicking, worrying-everything stopped, as if a huge remote was being pressed on the ‘Pause/Play’ button, and the whole world stopped spinning. Kyuhyun pulled his hand away from Hyukjae’s towel, and his body away from Siwon’s grips.
“I...slept with Sungmin hyung last night. The fuck that I was doing last night, was with Sungmin hyung.”
Heechul continued stuffing his mouth with a piece of chopped apple; and snorted.
-
The press received intelligent from the leader of Super Junior, Leeteuk, that Lee Sungmin was having a wreck from his over-worked body, and was allowed to rest at dorm for the whole week. But all the members knew that that wasn't the real thing.
He refused to come out of his room.
Cho Kyuhyun, on the contrary, was trying his best not to miss any occasion involving KRY, Super Junior M, SM The Ballad and just gave him anything, anything that would make him forget about the night he had with Sungmin, or the stress that now had gotten bigger since he had no one else to talk to about Victoria and the stupid WGM.
That was ridiculously obvious.
“This is stupid, Lee Sungmin! You better get out from that fucking room or I’ll break down the door!” Jungsu finally reached his limit, and all that’s left was for Heechul to bring out the-god knows where he got it-chainsaw from his room. Kyuhyun wasn't there, and it wasn't like he would be able to stop the two hyungs from rampaging his room; Jungsu for his responsibility, Heechul for pure, wicked amusement.
The sounds of chainsaw screaming from the eleventh floor burst through the cold night.
-
They were having a break, and Victoria was comfortably having a chat with Khun, hands touched face, fixed hair. If it wasn't because of what happened between him and Sungmin, Khun would probably have the trouble to eat; if a dislocated jaw could bring that kind of damage.
“I told you, not here! No one supposed to know were-”
“You don't need to say it if you don't want them to know, Qian.” Kyuhyun smiled. Victoria knew it wasn't the smile that he always wore on his face. She folded her arms, and pouted. “Fake smile. Are you troubled by something, Kuixian?” his Chinese name was Victoria’s favourite. She rarely called him with his birth name. She said to have a Chinese name would make him more fit to be with her-so she wasn't the one who’s adjusting-and she liked it; chemistry, she added.
She looked around, and dragged Kyuhyun to a hidden corner where no one (she hoped) would see them, and cupped Kyuhyun’s cheeks, as tenderly as she could. “What happened?”
“Do we have to hide?” Victoria thought it was sarcasm, so she pouted again, and nodded. “We’re still unofficial, remember?” a chaste kiss on his left cheek. It felt so insincere. Kyuhyun sniggered sadly.
“Not here. Not right now. Kuixian, we’ve talked about this, weren’t we?” he stared blankly at his running shoes. Sungmin suggested him to buy it. He said it’s easier to run from crazy fangirls. He sniggered again.
“Then let’s talk again. Let’s talk, and then have a good fucking fight, and talk again. Because all we ever did was talk. All the love that you have for me is all talk, isn’t it?” Victoria held his wrists tight, and looked around again, before she sighed and spoke.
“Then what do you want me to do?” her cute accent was clear; it was always clear when she was unable to control her emotions. “We’re too young for a commitment. And you, you’ve got a bright future in front of you. I don't want to halt you midway, and I clearly don't want you to stop mine.”
Kyuhyun didn't reply. Victoria sighed.
“You are too much for me, Kuixian. I love you, but you’re just too much for me.” Something warm brimmed on the edges of her eyes, and she wiped it quickly. Kyuhyun smiled, this time he meant it. He took the time to look at her face, her small hands, her big, doe eyes-
There was a sudden realisation, really. When he traced back everything about Victoria, he found something similar to Sungmin. Her big, bright eyes, her curvy lips, her gentle touches, sometimes even the way she giggled. They were all pretty similar to Lee Sungmin.
“And you’re still not good enough for me to have, right?” Victoria lifted her head; tears brimming again, and then pouted.
“Yeah, yeah I know. In fact, I’ll never be good enough for you, Cho Kyuhyun.” He embraced the slim built in front of him, and kissed her lips as gentle as he could. this time Victoria didn't took the time to observe her surrounding, because in one way or the other, she’ll have an excuse to say to the press; they’ve never been together or they’re not together anymore.
“It was fun to love you, Song Qian.”
-
He screamed when he saw what happened to his door. There was no door, actually.
“Yah, Park Jungsu! What the hell have you done to my room???!!” Donghae and Hyukjae, together with Siwon were doing some kind of a combination between the limbs of their bodies, whatever they thought of calling it just in time to stop Kyuhyun from literally kill the only leader of the group. “It’s because Sungmin didn't want to come out from there!! A leader got to do what a leader got to do!!”
Kyuhyun stood up straight, and apparently the limb combination that the three other hyungs made to stop him was somehow depended on his axis, which sent them sprawling on the floor after he fixed his posture. “Damn magnae.”
“Where is he, then?”
“Who?” Jungsu asked, almost innocently that made Kyuhyun felt like throwing a punch to his face.
“Kim Youngwoon.”
“Don't fuck with me, magnae.” Kyuhyun lifted his hands, surrendering. Jungsu cleared his throat, and pointed at the balcony of the dorm. The sliding door was open, and the breeze was pushing the white curtain to dance along with its move. Sungmin was leaning against the metal railing that pretty much a safety precaution if any of them refuse to be under the dictatorship of SM anymore and want to die. His hands were full; he was eating cup ramen.
“Hey.” Kyuhyun greeted, and he almost choked when he saw the magnae leaning on the same railing, next to him.
“H-hey.”
“You look...slimmer.” Sungmin chuckled. Kyuhyun smiled.
“A week of diet pays off.”
“After a great sex.” Kyuhyun threw the bait. Sungmin was silent, and he started to freak out. “I-I was joking.”
Sungmin lifted his head; his eyes were glittering as the tears were filling every corner of the sockets.
“Which one was a joke? The great sex; or the great sex?” his lips started to pursed, and that was undeniably adorable. If he was drunk, he could possibly think that Lee Sungmin was the incarnation of Pororo the Little Penguin. He laughed, and his deep voice resonated around the balcony, and dispersed into the thin air. Lee Sungmin stopped crying, and furrowed his brow.
At that moment, Kyuhyun was confirmed with his choice.
-
Cho Kyuhyun never stopped dreaming. He dreamed of rows of kiosks with multiple choices of wine, because now he finally realised that he never really liked ice-cream; alcohol was the better choice. He dreamed of waiting for someone for hours, upset and irritated but he could never leave, because that someone was a part of his dream. A big part of his dream.
There were sounds of walls crumbling down; walls of the dreams he dreamed about him who wasn't him, and Victoria who wasn't Victoria. They’re collapsing, because the dream has ended. It was a really nice dream, though. But in the end, that wasn't the dream he was waiting for.
He was dreaming of him who was him. Because the person he was waiting for loved him for the real him. Complicated?
Pretty much. But-
“Kyuhyun! Sorry I’m late!! The recording went out of the schedule!! Were you waiting?”
“Not really. Just a few more minutes to a complete three hours.” Sungmin punched his shoulder playfully, before he entwined their hands together and drew each of them closer to warm them up. Sungmin cooed him so that he won't get angry, and as usual Sungmin radiated something that always kept him calm. Always.
He found out later that it was love.
Back to the complicated. Yeah it was complicated, because in the end, he finally realised, that it was better to be the real him who was him, because Sungmin loved the him who was him. And to be in love with someone as sweet as Lee Sungmin; it was pretty much like a dream itself.
And Cho Kyuhyun was sure; he was now in the right time to be completely in love.
-The End-