[Oneshot] He's Mine
He's Mine | KyuMin, KangMin | Romance, angst, tragedy | NC-17
Because we wished for the same thing; for the other person to tell us ‘yes, yes I love you too.’ -I wrote this for you.
*
“It rains a lot since then,” gently, as if the cold stone is alive, he caresses its flat top to the hard sides. The edges are still smooth; anyone can tell it is still new, that someone had just died. Sungmin flinches as the sky suddenly turns bright, the lightning is not sparing him any silence.
“Is the god angry with me?” he turns back to look at the lifeless cold stone after staring at the scary sky for a while, as if asking for an answer. The rain that still hasn’t stop pouring becomes heavy, and he is drenched; with the rain, with the mud from the wet ground, with the tears that still haven’t stopped rolling.
“He’s not, right? I’m not doing anything wrong, I mean, what is it that so wrong to - to be with you?”
-
Youngwoon can be pretty rough sometimes, but Sungmin never shove him away when he tackles him down and gives him some bone-crushing hugs whenever they met. ‘Cousins should be like this,’ he thought.
So when Youngwoon pulls him into his broad chest as soon as he comes home from school with his friend, Kyuhyun when they meet again after two years apart, there is not a single question of the act pops into his mind (or never he thought anyone would be agitated by this). He simply hugs the elder back and tells him, “oh hyung I’m glad to meet you again” and pats his back.
“Yeah...yeah me too.” But Youngwoon seems to be so restless, glancing to the calm-looking Kyuhyun by his side. Maybe it is because Sungmin is so ignorant, he doesn't think of anything bad of the stare, just some strangers being awkward towards each other.
He should know it is not just that.
-
Youngwoon can hear the sounds of people running after him. No this is not what he imagined to happen before. He is not supposed to be treated like this; because all he did was for the sake of Sungmin. His Sungmin.
But maybe, it is too late for him to turn around and face those armed people; or trying to tell them the reason for him doing it.
-
He hates to see the way the tall, calm-looking lad touching his Sungmin here and there. Sungmin told him earlier, “Kyuhyun is my best friend,” but Youngwoon cannot accept the fact how a best friend can touch you anywhere just like that. It’s a good thing that Sungmin’s mom called him a few minutes later, so that Youngwoon can start to do the ohimagoodbrother act with Kyuhyun.
“So... you’re his classmate too?” Kyuhyun smiles, and nods. Youngwoon forces a smile to carve on his face. He hates it when he is replied with a non-word answer. That’s not even an answer in the first place.
“How long have you been his friend?”
“Since two years ago, I guess. He helped me in an accident.”
Youngwoon tries his best to remember any accident told by Sungmin. Maybe there was one, but he didn't mention about saving anyone. Ah screw that.
“So that’s why your left foot is like that?” bull’s-eye. For a moment there, Kyuhyun’s face turns weird, before Sungmin comes back hoping into the living room, not realising the atmosphere he is in now.
“Sorry I just finished preparing hyung’s room. So you’re gonna stay until your meeting ends, right? That’s about... two weeks?” grinning as if he is winning, Youngwoon nods and ruffles the innocent boy’s hair. He swears he can hear Sungmin purrs like a cat.
“Sungmin, are we finishing the home works today?” Kyuhyun stands up, and sways a bit. Swiftly, Sungmin too stands up and hooks Kyuhyun’s left arm around his neck.
“Yes, yes we’re finishing it today. Hyung, can I...”
“It’s okay, I’m going to hang out with some friends later. You can go.”
But Youngwoon wants to have Sungmin with him a little bit longer.
-
“You mustn’t forget this. You’re mine even after I’m dead.” He can feel Kyuhyun’s nails digging the flesh on his waist when he moves his hip. “N - no. I won't...”
The tall lad seems so satisfied when Sungmin looks down onto his face. Roughly, he nibbles his perking nipples, pinching them and Sungmin can feel the endorphins flowing all over his body. “Don't forget who made me like this. If I haven’t saved you, I won't be sitting at the audiences’ bench and watch the other pitcher takes my place. This is your entire fault, Lee Sungmin.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me. Please, forgive me, do anything that you want, just forgive me, Kyuhyun.” Kyuhyun roughly pushes him onto the bed, he can hear the springs creak, and how sore his waist becomes when the latter pulls his legs up and bend it until his knees touch his chest.
And as he is thrusting as fierce as he can, Sungmin can feel his tears rolling down his cheeks.
Kyuhyun lost his chance of becoming a professional in baseball when he saved Sungmin from being hit by a lorry two years ago. If only he wasn’t so careless that day, or if Kyuhyun left him dead, Kyuhyun won't be so sad like today.
Even though he doesn't show it, Sungmin knows the real feeling. Kyuhyun is sad, and frustrated by it. He told everyone that he is okay with the fact that he still got his brilliant brain, and he does, but baseball is his first love. He didn't show any hatred when Sungmin apologised to him after he came back to school a few weeks later, but when finally Sungmin said;
“Just do anything that you want to me, as long as you forgive me,”
Kyuhyun started to ask for his sexual needs to be satisfied.
-
The fourth night, when he comes home after meeting a friend and got drunk, Youngwoon hears weird noises coming from Sungmin’s room, only a room away from him. It is weird, because it is the sound of skins against skins. And when he sees what happens before his eyes, he blames his curiosity.
There Sungmin is, being slammed against the wall by the guy he despises so much. The way he licks the latter’s nape, the moans that Sungmin lets out, the apologise that doesn't stop coming out from his bruised mouth resulted from Kyuhyun’s rough kisses earlier, Youngwoon hates all of it.
The first time in his life, he feels like someone is not worthy to live in this world, and he has to get rid of that someone.
-
So the moment Kyuhyun is finished, and Sungmin is sleeping soundly (tiredly), Youngwoon is waiting in front of the room’s door, folding his arms across his chest, and stares at Kyuhyun with the most piercing one he can manage to do.
Smirking, Kyuhyun put his hands up, as if he is a criminal who surrenders after busted. “You got me.”
But Youngwoon doesn't say anything. Instead, he follows as Kyuhyun walks down the stairs with his crippled leg, through the front door and out of the house.
“Bastard.” Kyuhyun chuckles, and nods while giving his back to Youngwoon. “Yes I am one. That’s why I did that.” Youngwoon runs to his front and grabs his collar, and gives him one good strike.
“If he did you anything wrong, then tell him! Don’t play with him like this!”
“He did me nothing! That’s why!” Kyuhyun shoves him away, and that shocked Youngwoon.
“He did me nothing, that’s why I can't stop pestering him! if only that damn accident didn't happen, and I can still play, and he won't be apologising me every fucking day, and show me his innocent eyes; if only we can talk and have fun just the way we did before...” Youngwoon takes a few steps back. No this is not what he expected. He hates to hear those caring words coming from a guy that hurts his Sungmin.
“Don't you get it?? I love him! And I don't want him to be away from me. This is the only way...this is the only way...”
He turns around. “But tonight is the last. I won’t do this anymore. I’ll tell him the truth tomorrow, and let him decide what to do next.”
But Youngwoon doesn't want him to be there with Sungmin tomorrow. He doesn't know why, but he gets this feeling, that for some reason, Sungmin will be in Kyuhyun’s arms tomorrow, and he doesn't want that.
The moment he runs to chase Kyuhyun, his feet hit a rock. A big rock that can be lifted. He wonders what he can do to stop Kyuhyun, when he lifts the rock, and continues to chase the latter. Maybe he will throw it at his feet, so that he will stop running. Or at his back, so he will fall down and listen to what he has to say.
Or maybe, just maybe, a broken skull will make him shut.
-
Everyone is saying, “what a pity, he was so young,” but Youngwoon can only secretly chuckles. To him, someone who did those things to his beloved Sungmin is supposed to die. He is happy, because Sungmin is able to stop being worried now. He wants to see his Sungmin to laugh and have fun again, without being imprisoned inside the shadow of guilt.
But when he turns to look at Sungmin on the bastard’s funeral day, Sungmin is crying. So bad that it is hard for him to talk. So bad that his eyes turns weird. So bad that even Youngwoon feels like crying. So Youngwoon starts to wonder, what is it that he missed from judging?
People are saying it is because they were best friend, but hell, best friends would never do something like that. Best friends will never ask his best friend to apologise plenty of times while he fucked his ass. No no that’s not best friend’s deed. Youngwoon is confused.
“Sungmin...”
“I wasn’t forgiven yet he went away. What am I supposed to do, hyung? What should I do?”
-
He can hear heavy breathings coming from under his blanket. He is definitely sure it isn’t his, so he flips his blanket away, and found Sungmin crying on his belly. “Sungm - what the hell are you doing here??”
“Kyuhyun...Kyuhyun came into my dream. He said he got something to tell me. I’m afraid, hyung, I’m scared if he was going to say that he hates me, so I forced myself to wake up. Hyung, help me, hyung.” If only Sungmin is not so pale and fragile, Youngwoon will never pull him close and embrace him like that. if only Sungmin says no, he will never try to taste the lips that has been Kyuhyun’s hundreds of times.
Sungmin is a temptation that he cannot resist, not in a thousand years, that is what in Youngwoon’s mind when he unbuttons that pink pyjama from the crying boy’s body, or when he plants his butterfly kisses onto the naked, slim teenage abs and listens to the lovely hiccups Sungmin made.
“Kyuhyun...I’m sorry...” but Youngwoon kisses away the words with his gentle lips. He doesn’t want Sungmin to mention the name, because it is his body that embrace Sungmin right now, not Kyuhyun’s. Kyuhyun is dead, and he is not going to be here anymore, because Youngwoon has taken care of him.
Because only now, he realises, that Sungmin is the reason he did all that. Because he loves this delicate, kind-hearted boy so much.
-
When he wakes up the next morning, Sungmin is not there by his side. Taking things for granted, he believes Sungmin is somewhere downstairs, making a cup of coffee for himself, or having a good chat with his mom about his recently dead best friend, or is outside picking up the newspapers.
But when Youngwoon goes downstairs he realises it is raining, there is no way Sungmin is going out to pick up the newspapers. The hot coffee is on the table, still having the white mist coming out from it. his aunt is not home, because he saw the yellow sticky note earlier on the fridge telling him she has gone to work.
So he finally sits down at the table, picking up the hot coffee and takes a sip, before he figures out about another sticky note under the saucer.
He owns me forever. -Sungmin
He doesn't give a damn about the tingling burnt skin on his hands when he literally throws the cup away. He doesn't give a damn about the lightning or the thunders or the heavy rain that hit his face. or the police that he shoves away when he opens the front door. It is only Lee Sungmin on his mind.
He is jealous on how Kyuhyun owns Sungmin. He wants to own Sungmin like that since they were small kids. Yet a stranger who only knew Sungmin for a few years took his place. Sungmin is his.
-
He can see Sungmin kneeling down in front of the tombstone. His feet stop moving, and his breathing messes up.
“Sungmin!” he calls, but Sungmin isn’t turning. He shifts his way towards the boy’s direction, but there are sounds of people shouting from behind, and the next thing he know, he is pinned on the wet road, not able to getting up.
-
“It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. You’re the only one who gets the satisfaction.” He pulls out the fresh daisy flower from the pot in front of the mischievous smiling face. “You only did things that you want to do, listen to things that you want to listen. No, the truth was, you never listen.”
He dives his hand into his pocket, and pulls out a small, shining blade. “I know, I know you wanted me to hate you, which are why you did all that. But no, you never know the real reason.”
Gently, he puts the sharp point of the blade onto his left pulse; the pricking sounds of the skins being torn is so clear despite the heavy rain that hits the earth.
With his bloody hand, he smears the crimson red liquid onto the smiling picture, and laughs. There is no tears, thanks to the heavy rain.
“Silly Cho Kyuhyun, I would never let you do all that if I don't love you.”
-End-
Because we wished for the same thing; for the other person to tell us ‘yes, yes I love you too.’ -I wrote this for you.
*
“It rains a lot since then,” gently, as if the cold stone is alive, he caresses its flat top to the hard sides. The edges are still smooth; anyone can tell it is still new, that someone had just died. Sungmin flinches as the sky suddenly turns bright, the lightning is not sparing him any silence.
“Is the god angry with me?” he turns back to look at the lifeless cold stone after staring at the scary sky for a while, as if asking for an answer. The rain that still hasn’t stop pouring becomes heavy, and he is drenched; with the rain, with the mud from the wet ground, with the tears that still haven’t stopped rolling.
“He’s not, right? I’m not doing anything wrong, I mean, what is it that so wrong to - to be with you?”
-
Youngwoon can be pretty rough sometimes, but Sungmin never shove him away when he tackles him down and gives him some bone-crushing hugs whenever they met. ‘Cousins should be like this,’ he thought.
So when Youngwoon pulls him into his broad chest as soon as he comes home from school with his friend, Kyuhyun when they meet again after two years apart, there is not a single question of the act pops into his mind (or never he thought anyone would be agitated by this). He simply hugs the elder back and tells him, “oh hyung I’m glad to meet you again” and pats his back.
“Yeah...yeah me too.” But Youngwoon seems to be so restless, glancing to the calm-looking Kyuhyun by his side. Maybe it is because Sungmin is so ignorant, he doesn't think of anything bad of the stare, just some strangers being awkward towards each other.
He should know it is not just that.
-
Youngwoon can hear the sounds of people running after him. No this is not what he imagined to happen before. He is not supposed to be treated like this; because all he did was for the sake of Sungmin. His Sungmin.
But maybe, it is too late for him to turn around and face those armed people; or trying to tell them the reason for him doing it.
-
He hates to see the way the tall, calm-looking lad touching his Sungmin here and there. Sungmin told him earlier, “Kyuhyun is my best friend,” but Youngwoon cannot accept the fact how a best friend can touch you anywhere just like that. It’s a good thing that Sungmin’s mom called him a few minutes later, so that Youngwoon can start to do the ohimagoodbrother act with Kyuhyun.
“So... you’re his classmate too?” Kyuhyun smiles, and nods. Youngwoon forces a smile to carve on his face. He hates it when he is replied with a non-word answer. That’s not even an answer in the first place.
“How long have you been his friend?”
“Since two years ago, I guess. He helped me in an accident.”
Youngwoon tries his best to remember any accident told by Sungmin. Maybe there was one, but he didn't mention about saving anyone. Ah screw that.
“So that’s why your left foot is like that?” bull’s-eye. For a moment there, Kyuhyun’s face turns weird, before Sungmin comes back hoping into the living room, not realising the atmosphere he is in now.
“Sorry I just finished preparing hyung’s room. So you’re gonna stay until your meeting ends, right? That’s about... two weeks?” grinning as if he is winning, Youngwoon nods and ruffles the innocent boy’s hair. He swears he can hear Sungmin purrs like a cat.
“Sungmin, are we finishing the home works today?” Kyuhyun stands up, and sways a bit. Swiftly, Sungmin too stands up and hooks Kyuhyun’s left arm around his neck.
“Yes, yes we’re finishing it today. Hyung, can I...”
“It’s okay, I’m going to hang out with some friends later. You can go.”
But Youngwoon wants to have Sungmin with him a little bit longer.
-
“You mustn’t forget this. You’re mine even after I’m dead.” He can feel Kyuhyun’s nails digging the flesh on his waist when he moves his hip. “N - no. I won't...”
The tall lad seems so satisfied when Sungmin looks down onto his face. Roughly, he nibbles his perking nipples, pinching them and Sungmin can feel the endorphins flowing all over his body. “Don't forget who made me like this. If I haven’t saved you, I won't be sitting at the audiences’ bench and watch the other pitcher takes my place. This is your entire fault, Lee Sungmin.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me. Please, forgive me, do anything that you want, just forgive me, Kyuhyun.” Kyuhyun roughly pushes him onto the bed, he can hear the springs creak, and how sore his waist becomes when the latter pulls his legs up and bend it until his knees touch his chest.
And as he is thrusting as fierce as he can, Sungmin can feel his tears rolling down his cheeks.
Kyuhyun lost his chance of becoming a professional in baseball when he saved Sungmin from being hit by a lorry two years ago. If only he wasn’t so careless that day, or if Kyuhyun left him dead, Kyuhyun won't be so sad like today.
Even though he doesn't show it, Sungmin knows the real feeling. Kyuhyun is sad, and frustrated by it. He told everyone that he is okay with the fact that he still got his brilliant brain, and he does, but baseball is his first love. He didn't show any hatred when Sungmin apologised to him after he came back to school a few weeks later, but when finally Sungmin said;
“Just do anything that you want to me, as long as you forgive me,”
Kyuhyun started to ask for his sexual needs to be satisfied.
-
The fourth night, when he comes home after meeting a friend and got drunk, Youngwoon hears weird noises coming from Sungmin’s room, only a room away from him. It is weird, because it is the sound of skins against skins. And when he sees what happens before his eyes, he blames his curiosity.
There Sungmin is, being slammed against the wall by the guy he despises so much. The way he licks the latter’s nape, the moans that Sungmin lets out, the apologise that doesn't stop coming out from his bruised mouth resulted from Kyuhyun’s rough kisses earlier, Youngwoon hates all of it.
The first time in his life, he feels like someone is not worthy to live in this world, and he has to get rid of that someone.
-
So the moment Kyuhyun is finished, and Sungmin is sleeping soundly (tiredly), Youngwoon is waiting in front of the room’s door, folding his arms across his chest, and stares at Kyuhyun with the most piercing one he can manage to do.
Smirking, Kyuhyun put his hands up, as if he is a criminal who surrenders after busted. “You got me.”
But Youngwoon doesn't say anything. Instead, he follows as Kyuhyun walks down the stairs with his crippled leg, through the front door and out of the house.
“Bastard.” Kyuhyun chuckles, and nods while giving his back to Youngwoon. “Yes I am one. That’s why I did that.” Youngwoon runs to his front and grabs his collar, and gives him one good strike.
“If he did you anything wrong, then tell him! Don’t play with him like this!”
“He did me nothing! That’s why!” Kyuhyun shoves him away, and that shocked Youngwoon.
“He did me nothing, that’s why I can't stop pestering him! if only that damn accident didn't happen, and I can still play, and he won't be apologising me every fucking day, and show me his innocent eyes; if only we can talk and have fun just the way we did before...” Youngwoon takes a few steps back. No this is not what he expected. He hates to hear those caring words coming from a guy that hurts his Sungmin.
“Don't you get it?? I love him! And I don't want him to be away from me. This is the only way...this is the only way...”
He turns around. “But tonight is the last. I won’t do this anymore. I’ll tell him the truth tomorrow, and let him decide what to do next.”
But Youngwoon doesn't want him to be there with Sungmin tomorrow. He doesn't know why, but he gets this feeling, that for some reason, Sungmin will be in Kyuhyun’s arms tomorrow, and he doesn't want that.
The moment he runs to chase Kyuhyun, his feet hit a rock. A big rock that can be lifted. He wonders what he can do to stop Kyuhyun, when he lifts the rock, and continues to chase the latter. Maybe he will throw it at his feet, so that he will stop running. Or at his back, so he will fall down and listen to what he has to say.
Or maybe, just maybe, a broken skull will make him shut.
-
Everyone is saying, “what a pity, he was so young,” but Youngwoon can only secretly chuckles. To him, someone who did those things to his beloved Sungmin is supposed to die. He is happy, because Sungmin is able to stop being worried now. He wants to see his Sungmin to laugh and have fun again, without being imprisoned inside the shadow of guilt.
But when he turns to look at Sungmin on the bastard’s funeral day, Sungmin is crying. So bad that it is hard for him to talk. So bad that his eyes turns weird. So bad that even Youngwoon feels like crying. So Youngwoon starts to wonder, what is it that he missed from judging?
People are saying it is because they were best friend, but hell, best friends would never do something like that. Best friends will never ask his best friend to apologise plenty of times while he fucked his ass. No no that’s not best friend’s deed. Youngwoon is confused.
“Sungmin...”
“I wasn’t forgiven yet he went away. What am I supposed to do, hyung? What should I do?”
-
He can hear heavy breathings coming from under his blanket. He is definitely sure it isn’t his, so he flips his blanket away, and found Sungmin crying on his belly. “Sungm - what the hell are you doing here??”
“Kyuhyun...Kyuhyun came into my dream. He said he got something to tell me. I’m afraid, hyung, I’m scared if he was going to say that he hates me, so I forced myself to wake up. Hyung, help me, hyung.” If only Sungmin is not so pale and fragile, Youngwoon will never pull him close and embrace him like that. if only Sungmin says no, he will never try to taste the lips that has been Kyuhyun’s hundreds of times.
Sungmin is a temptation that he cannot resist, not in a thousand years, that is what in Youngwoon’s mind when he unbuttons that pink pyjama from the crying boy’s body, or when he plants his butterfly kisses onto the naked, slim teenage abs and listens to the lovely hiccups Sungmin made.
“Kyuhyun...I’m sorry...” but Youngwoon kisses away the words with his gentle lips. He doesn’t want Sungmin to mention the name, because it is his body that embrace Sungmin right now, not Kyuhyun’s. Kyuhyun is dead, and he is not going to be here anymore, because Youngwoon has taken care of him.
Because only now, he realises, that Sungmin is the reason he did all that. Because he loves this delicate, kind-hearted boy so much.
-
When he wakes up the next morning, Sungmin is not there by his side. Taking things for granted, he believes Sungmin is somewhere downstairs, making a cup of coffee for himself, or having a good chat with his mom about his recently dead best friend, or is outside picking up the newspapers.
But when Youngwoon goes downstairs he realises it is raining, there is no way Sungmin is going out to pick up the newspapers. The hot coffee is on the table, still having the white mist coming out from it. his aunt is not home, because he saw the yellow sticky note earlier on the fridge telling him she has gone to work.
So he finally sits down at the table, picking up the hot coffee and takes a sip, before he figures out about another sticky note under the saucer.
He owns me forever. -Sungmin
He doesn't give a damn about the tingling burnt skin on his hands when he literally throws the cup away. He doesn't give a damn about the lightning or the thunders or the heavy rain that hit his face. or the police that he shoves away when he opens the front door. It is only Lee Sungmin on his mind.
He is jealous on how Kyuhyun owns Sungmin. He wants to own Sungmin like that since they were small kids. Yet a stranger who only knew Sungmin for a few years took his place. Sungmin is his.
-
He can see Sungmin kneeling down in front of the tombstone. His feet stop moving, and his breathing messes up.
“Sungmin!” he calls, but Sungmin isn’t turning. He shifts his way towards the boy’s direction, but there are sounds of people shouting from behind, and the next thing he know, he is pinned on the wet road, not able to getting up.
-
“It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. You’re the only one who gets the satisfaction.” He pulls out the fresh daisy flower from the pot in front of the mischievous smiling face. “You only did things that you want to do, listen to things that you want to listen. No, the truth was, you never listen.”
He dives his hand into his pocket, and pulls out a small, shining blade. “I know, I know you wanted me to hate you, which are why you did all that. But no, you never know the real reason.”
Gently, he puts the sharp point of the blade onto his left pulse; the pricking sounds of the skins being torn is so clear despite the heavy rain that hits the earth.
With his bloody hand, he smears the crimson red liquid onto the smiling picture, and laughs. There is no tears, thanks to the heavy rain.
“Silly Cho Kyuhyun, I would never let you do all that if I don't love you.”
-End-