Sleeping Divas
Title: Sleeping Divas
Pairing: OnKey
Rating: G
Genre: Crack
Summary: Fairy tales had never been this strange.
"Wow, it's dark here."
"Watch out for the--" Taemin winces when Jinki promptly slams his head on a low ceiling. "Ceiling," he finishes lamely. Jinki wobbles unsteadily, massaging his forehead.
"Can I have some light please, 'Minnie?" Taemin nods, turning himself into a beacon of light. He flaps his wings happily, proud of himself, but since he was about the size of a hand, it wasn't really much help. But Jinki pats his head gently with his finger.
"Right, which way are we going again?"
"Over here, I think." Taemin points to another dark hallway, and Jinki sighs. He tries to remember the reason why he was in this dark and dismal place, nearly killing himself from tripping all over the rubble and ruin.
"Because you're here for the princess." Jinki glares at the little fairy, and Taemin giggles.
"Don't read my thoughts, Taemin."
"I wasn't, it's written all over your face." Jinki sighs again. Right, he was here for a princess. Not just any princess, but the legendary princess who had been trapped here for centuries, eternally asleep.
Jinki hoped she wasn't as old as she should be.
"She's not, apparently there's a spell that keeps her the same age while she's asleep." Jinki doesn't bother berating the fairy about reading his mind again. Instead, he steps forward, gingerly manouvering his way through the rubble on the floor.
A few trips and falls later, Jinki is still massaging his nose as they reach the end of the dark hallway. There is a corner, and there seems to be a light coming from it. Jinki frowns, and Taemin shrugs.
"I'm not sure, but," Taemin begins to say as they make their way to the corner. They turn, and Jinki pulls them both back just in time as a ball of fire comes charging at them. "I think the dragon's here," Taemin finishes.
------------------------------------------
"You could have told me sooner," Jinki hisses out. Taemin cowers, bowing apologetically.
"I'm sorry hyung, I really am--" Jinki sighs; he can never stay angry long enough. He pats the tiny fairy, and sets him gently on his shoulder before peeking cautiously out the corner. He can't really see anything, just fire and brimstone. Aish, how was he supposed to get past that in this heavy armour, he'd never make it--
He leans back on the wall, and exchanges worried looks with Taemin. "Okay, Taeminnie, any bright ideas?"
A shadow falls over them, and Taemin screams loud enough to wake the dead.
------------------------------------------
Jinki swallows the girlish scream threatening to escape, and eventually chokes out a strangled gasp.
About a few inches away from his face was a massive, scaly, red-eyed dragon's head.
"I-uh-we-" Jinki stammers incoherently. So this was the dragon everyone was so afraid about, the reason the princess had been in here for centuries.
Jinki thought he was hallucinating, but the dragon seemed to raise an eyebrow and appraise him slowly. The dragon opened his mouth, and Jinki's eardrums almost shattered when Taemin belted out another scream. Jinki clumsily pulled out his sword, teetering unsteadily on his feet.
The dragon seemed amused.
"Name?"
"Taemin, this isn't the time to talk," Jinki hisses out. Taemin is holding on so hard to his ear it almost hurt.
"B-But it's not me," Taemin chokes out.
"I asked it. Name?" Jinki blinks, and in his surprise, nearly drops his sword. The dragon aims a bored look at the sharp steel, then turns back to Jink with that raised eyebrow. "Well? Name?"
"L-Lee Jinki," Jinki blurts out. "Wait, you can talk?"
The dragon looked offended, as if talking dragons were a normal thing. "Of course I can. Well, Lee Jinki, so far you've been our 200th contender for the fair princess's hand. I'm assuming you are here for the princess? You're not just lost?" Jinki was tempted to say the latter if it meant saving his own skin. But he found himself nodding.
The dragon nodded back. "Basically, this is what happens; you sing, and if I like it, you live, if I don't like it, you die. Simple enough?" Jinki had never heard a death sentence put so bluntly. Since there was nothing else he could do, he simply nods.
"Wait, aren't you supposed to fight?" Taemin suddenly flutters up, hands on his hips as he eyed the dragon distastefully. The dragon eyes him back.
"Well, what do we have here? A little fairy?" Taemin gasped indignantly.
"I'm not little!" Well, actually, you are, Jinki thinks to himself, and holds his hands up defensively when Taemin rounds on him, eyes narrowed and wings flapping angry. "Not you too, hyung!"
"He's just being honest." Jinki sighs; first Taemin, now even the dragon can read his mind. The dragon snorts out a laugh when Taemin pokes his scaly nose, the little fairy seeming to have lost his fear over the massive creature. The dragon ignores him, focusing those yellow eyes on Jinki. "You don't seem very comfortable in that armour anyway. Well, Lee Jinki? Shall we hear it?"
Seeing no other choice, Jinki closes his eyes and opens his mouth to sing.
------------------------------------------
When Jinki opens his eyes again, he stumbles a little, blinking.
In front of him was a very tall, very good-looking man. The dragon seemed to be nowhere in sight.
"You--ah, who are you...?" The man doesn't say a word, simply bows.
"He says his name is Choi Minho," Taemin chirps out, fluttering around the man excitedly. Jinki was pretty sure the man hadn't said a word, but these things stopped surprising him long ago.
"Congratulations, Lee Jinki." The man finally spoke, his voice so deep and quiet Jinki almost didn't hear him. The man then reversed and promptly walked away.
"We're supposed to follow him, Jinki-hyung." Taemin tugged at Jinki's ear, and Jinki slowly followed, still slightly confused. This place was weirder than he'd thought.
The strange man - Choi Minho - led them through torchlit hallways, up a spiralling staircase, before reaching the top floor of the tower and in front of massive double doors.
"Your princess awaits, Lee Jinki." Jinki exchanged looks with Taemin, before opening the door wide.
------------------------------------------
The first thing Jinki registers is the room's brightness. The second thing he notices is that the room was pink - the walls were white, but virtually everything was pink.
The next thing he notices is a dog - a small one at that, possibly a Chihuahua. The dog was sitting in front of him, staring at him intently.
He was about to reach down to pet it when it suddenly spoke.
"Minho? Is this him?"
Jinki snapped his hand back, whirling around to face the mysterious alien named Minho, who was nodding. Jinki turned back to the dog, who was back to appraising him.
"Well, congratulations for reaching this far, Lee Jinki. If you'll follow me...?"
"Wait, how did you know my name--?" The dog ignored him and simply toddled over to the massive bed at the far end of the room, and Jinki had no choice but to follow. The dog stopped just beside the bed, and gestured a paw.
"The princess awaits." Well, he'd reached this far, surely nothing else could possibly go wrong.
Taking a deep breath, Jinki reaches out and parts the curtain.
A lovely sight greets him.
Pale ivory skin, soft kissable lips that were slightly pouted, long lashes sweeping the smooth cheeks...
He was certainly beautiful.
But that was just the tiny little problem - Jinki was quite sure that the princess was a he.
------------------------------------------
"Not what you were expecting?" Jinki was still dumbfounded, so he could only nod at the dog's bland statement. Taemin floated over the 'princess', brow wrinkled worriedly.
"Hyung, I think it's a male..."
"Well of course it is, what were you expecting? Snow White? She's married, you know."
Taemin flapped his wings indignantly at the dog's snappy retort. "Well we were at least expecting a female!" Jinki held up his hands calmly.
"Okay, there's no need to argue. Uh, Mister...Dog..."
"I have a name, it's Jonghyun." Well excuse me for not being a mind reader, Jinki thought.
"Right, Jonghyun-sshi. I understand this is the Sleeping Beauty castle?"
"No, this is the Sleeping Diva castle. Sleeping Beauty is next door."
"...Oh." Jinki blinked once, twice. Then turned to leave, and promptly slammed onto Minho. "Oh, pardon me. I was just about to leave."
"Well, you can't," the dog - Jonghyun - said matter-of-factly, jumping onto the bed next to the sleeping princess, or rather, prince.
"Why not?" Taemin demanded.
"Because, Lee Jinki, you're the chosen one."
What if I don't want to be the chosen one, Jinki thought to himself.
"Well, too bad, because you are. Congratulations, Lee Jinki, you may now kiss the prince, princess, whatever."
Here goes nothing - Jinki bends to gently kiss the princess/prince's lips.
The closed eyes slowly open to reveal midnight orbs, and the sleeping princess/prince awakens.
The first words the princess/prince says were, "...The hell."
------------------------------------------
Jonghyun now seemed to have turned human, and Jinki realizes that Minho was actually the dragon. The princess/prince seemed to be appraising him, and Jinki stared back blankly. Well, he was certainly one of the prettiest boys he'd ever seen in his life, but it was just that...he was a boy.
The boy - prince - had yet to say a word, just assessing Jinki. Then suddenly, he points.
"What is that?" Jinki follows the finger.
"You mean Taemin?"
"That is a fairy." Taemin flutters from Jinki's shoulder and hovers above the boy, who suddenly brightens.
"It's so cute!" Oh, he has a pretty smile, Jinki thinks. Taemin seems to enjoy the attention from the princess/prince, when Jonghyun clears his throat.
"Kibum, can we focus here?" Key looked up absently, before smacking Jonghyun on the head.
"Princess Kibum, thank you very much." Jonghyun rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. Princess, this is Lee Jinki, your husband."
"Husband?" Jinki squeaks out.
"Well technically you're married, unless you don't want to--?"
"Yah, what are you trying to say?" The princess demanded, rising from the bed and poking Jinki's chest, who raised his hands in surrender.
"B-But we're not really married, are we...?"
"Why not?"
"Because we're both, well, guys--oomph!"
The princess had slammed his lips on top of Jinki's, and in his surprise, Jinki's lips part, giving his tongue access. Jinki immediately stopped struggling, his legs turning to butter at the passionate kiss.
When Key finally pulled away, he was licking his lips. "Still a problem?" Jinki couldn't say a word, simply smiled like an idiot.
Key smirked, and pulled Jinki down the bed, ignoring Jonghyun's gagging noises while Minho simply walked off with Taemin comfortably placed on his shoulder.
"Well, Lee Jinki, took you long enough."
------------------------------------------
"And they lived happily ever after."
"The princess must have been pretty old, appa."
"Yes, well, she's eternally young."
"Like umma is?"
Jinki nodded, and brushed away the soft hair on his daughter's forehead before looking up to see Key giving him a look that said that-story-was-so-bad-what-the-hell-were-you-thinking. Key rolls his eyes and bends down to press a soft kiss on their daughter's forehead.
"It's time for bed, sweetheart." Jinki bent to give their daughter a goodnight kiss as well, and Key switched the lights off.
"Sweet dreams, princess." As the door closed, their daughter's eyes drifted shut and she dreamt of pink princesses and white knights.
------------------------------------------
Omg, how awful was that. I'm writing this at 5am with a bad cold, and it's the middle of winter so forgive me. Obviously this is like, a fail version of a fairy tale LOL.
I actually had this idea for ages, but didn't know how to end it, and ended up making a header banner first hahaha. It seems pretty dismal considering it's Christmas xD It clearly shows my bias too, ohohoho~ Anyway...
Comments are loved <333
Pairing: OnKey
Rating: G
Genre: Crack
Summary: Fairy tales had never been this strange.
"Wow, it's dark here."
"Watch out for the--" Taemin winces when Jinki promptly slams his head on a low ceiling. "Ceiling," he finishes lamely. Jinki wobbles unsteadily, massaging his forehead.
"Can I have some light please, 'Minnie?" Taemin nods, turning himself into a beacon of light. He flaps his wings happily, proud of himself, but since he was about the size of a hand, it wasn't really much help. But Jinki pats his head gently with his finger.
"Right, which way are we going again?"
"Over here, I think." Taemin points to another dark hallway, and Jinki sighs. He tries to remember the reason why he was in this dark and dismal place, nearly killing himself from tripping all over the rubble and ruin.
"Because you're here for the princess." Jinki glares at the little fairy, and Taemin giggles.
"Don't read my thoughts, Taemin."
"I wasn't, it's written all over your face." Jinki sighs again. Right, he was here for a princess. Not just any princess, but the legendary princess who had been trapped here for centuries, eternally asleep.
Jinki hoped she wasn't as old as she should be.
"She's not, apparently there's a spell that keeps her the same age while she's asleep." Jinki doesn't bother berating the fairy about reading his mind again. Instead, he steps forward, gingerly manouvering his way through the rubble on the floor.
A few trips and falls later, Jinki is still massaging his nose as they reach the end of the dark hallway. There is a corner, and there seems to be a light coming from it. Jinki frowns, and Taemin shrugs.
"I'm not sure, but," Taemin begins to say as they make their way to the corner. They turn, and Jinki pulls them both back just in time as a ball of fire comes charging at them. "I think the dragon's here," Taemin finishes.
------------------------------------------
"You could have told me sooner," Jinki hisses out. Taemin cowers, bowing apologetically.
"I'm sorry hyung, I really am--" Jinki sighs; he can never stay angry long enough. He pats the tiny fairy, and sets him gently on his shoulder before peeking cautiously out the corner. He can't really see anything, just fire and brimstone. Aish, how was he supposed to get past that in this heavy armour, he'd never make it--
He leans back on the wall, and exchanges worried looks with Taemin. "Okay, Taeminnie, any bright ideas?"
A shadow falls over them, and Taemin screams loud enough to wake the dead.
------------------------------------------
Jinki swallows the girlish scream threatening to escape, and eventually chokes out a strangled gasp.
About a few inches away from his face was a massive, scaly, red-eyed dragon's head.
"I-uh-we-" Jinki stammers incoherently. So this was the dragon everyone was so afraid about, the reason the princess had been in here for centuries.
Jinki thought he was hallucinating, but the dragon seemed to raise an eyebrow and appraise him slowly. The dragon opened his mouth, and Jinki's eardrums almost shattered when Taemin belted out another scream. Jinki clumsily pulled out his sword, teetering unsteadily on his feet.
The dragon seemed amused.
"Name?"
"Taemin, this isn't the time to talk," Jinki hisses out. Taemin is holding on so hard to his ear it almost hurt.
"B-But it's not me," Taemin chokes out.
"I asked it. Name?" Jinki blinks, and in his surprise, nearly drops his sword. The dragon aims a bored look at the sharp steel, then turns back to Jink with that raised eyebrow. "Well? Name?"
"L-Lee Jinki," Jinki blurts out. "Wait, you can talk?"
The dragon looked offended, as if talking dragons were a normal thing. "Of course I can. Well, Lee Jinki, so far you've been our 200th contender for the fair princess's hand. I'm assuming you are here for the princess? You're not just lost?" Jinki was tempted to say the latter if it meant saving his own skin. But he found himself nodding.
The dragon nodded back. "Basically, this is what happens; you sing, and if I like it, you live, if I don't like it, you die. Simple enough?" Jinki had never heard a death sentence put so bluntly. Since there was nothing else he could do, he simply nods.
"Wait, aren't you supposed to fight?" Taemin suddenly flutters up, hands on his hips as he eyed the dragon distastefully. The dragon eyes him back.
"Well, what do we have here? A little fairy?" Taemin gasped indignantly.
"I'm not little!" Well, actually, you are, Jinki thinks to himself, and holds his hands up defensively when Taemin rounds on him, eyes narrowed and wings flapping angry. "Not you too, hyung!"
"He's just being honest." Jinki sighs; first Taemin, now even the dragon can read his mind. The dragon snorts out a laugh when Taemin pokes his scaly nose, the little fairy seeming to have lost his fear over the massive creature. The dragon ignores him, focusing those yellow eyes on Jinki. "You don't seem very comfortable in that armour anyway. Well, Lee Jinki? Shall we hear it?"
Seeing no other choice, Jinki closes his eyes and opens his mouth to sing.
------------------------------------------
When Jinki opens his eyes again, he stumbles a little, blinking.
In front of him was a very tall, very good-looking man. The dragon seemed to be nowhere in sight.
"You--ah, who are you...?" The man doesn't say a word, simply bows.
"He says his name is Choi Minho," Taemin chirps out, fluttering around the man excitedly. Jinki was pretty sure the man hadn't said a word, but these things stopped surprising him long ago.
"Congratulations, Lee Jinki." The man finally spoke, his voice so deep and quiet Jinki almost didn't hear him. The man then reversed and promptly walked away.
"We're supposed to follow him, Jinki-hyung." Taemin tugged at Jinki's ear, and Jinki slowly followed, still slightly confused. This place was weirder than he'd thought.
The strange man - Choi Minho - led them through torchlit hallways, up a spiralling staircase, before reaching the top floor of the tower and in front of massive double doors.
"Your princess awaits, Lee Jinki." Jinki exchanged looks with Taemin, before opening the door wide.
------------------------------------------
The first thing Jinki registers is the room's brightness. The second thing he notices is that the room was pink - the walls were white, but virtually everything was pink.
The next thing he notices is a dog - a small one at that, possibly a Chihuahua. The dog was sitting in front of him, staring at him intently.
He was about to reach down to pet it when it suddenly spoke.
"Minho? Is this him?"
Jinki snapped his hand back, whirling around to face the mysterious alien named Minho, who was nodding. Jinki turned back to the dog, who was back to appraising him.
"Well, congratulations for reaching this far, Lee Jinki. If you'll follow me...?"
"Wait, how did you know my name--?" The dog ignored him and simply toddled over to the massive bed at the far end of the room, and Jinki had no choice but to follow. The dog stopped just beside the bed, and gestured a paw.
"The princess awaits." Well, he'd reached this far, surely nothing else could possibly go wrong.
Taking a deep breath, Jinki reaches out and parts the curtain.
A lovely sight greets him.
Pale ivory skin, soft kissable lips that were slightly pouted, long lashes sweeping the smooth cheeks...
He was certainly beautiful.
But that was just the tiny little problem - Jinki was quite sure that the princess was a he.
------------------------------------------
"Not what you were expecting?" Jinki was still dumbfounded, so he could only nod at the dog's bland statement. Taemin floated over the 'princess', brow wrinkled worriedly.
"Hyung, I think it's a male..."
"Well of course it is, what were you expecting? Snow White? She's married, you know."
Taemin flapped his wings indignantly at the dog's snappy retort. "Well we were at least expecting a female!" Jinki held up his hands calmly.
"Okay, there's no need to argue. Uh, Mister...Dog..."
"I have a name, it's Jonghyun." Well excuse me for not being a mind reader, Jinki thought.
"Right, Jonghyun-sshi. I understand this is the Sleeping Beauty castle?"
"No, this is the Sleeping Diva castle. Sleeping Beauty is next door."
"...Oh." Jinki blinked once, twice. Then turned to leave, and promptly slammed onto Minho. "Oh, pardon me. I was just about to leave."
"Well, you can't," the dog - Jonghyun - said matter-of-factly, jumping onto the bed next to the sleeping princess, or rather, prince.
"Why not?" Taemin demanded.
"Because, Lee Jinki, you're the chosen one."
What if I don't want to be the chosen one, Jinki thought to himself.
"Well, too bad, because you are. Congratulations, Lee Jinki, you may now kiss the prince, princess, whatever."
Here goes nothing - Jinki bends to gently kiss the princess/prince's lips.
The closed eyes slowly open to reveal midnight orbs, and the sleeping princess/prince awakens.
The first words the princess/prince says were, "...The hell."
------------------------------------------
Jonghyun now seemed to have turned human, and Jinki realizes that Minho was actually the dragon. The princess/prince seemed to be appraising him, and Jinki stared back blankly. Well, he was certainly one of the prettiest boys he'd ever seen in his life, but it was just that...he was a boy.
The boy - prince - had yet to say a word, just assessing Jinki. Then suddenly, he points.
"What is that?" Jinki follows the finger.
"You mean Taemin?"
"That is a fairy." Taemin flutters from Jinki's shoulder and hovers above the boy, who suddenly brightens.
"It's so cute!" Oh, he has a pretty smile, Jinki thinks. Taemin seems to enjoy the attention from the princess/prince, when Jonghyun clears his throat.
"Kibum, can we focus here?" Key looked up absently, before smacking Jonghyun on the head.
"Princess Kibum, thank you very much." Jonghyun rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. Princess, this is Lee Jinki, your husband."
"Husband?" Jinki squeaks out.
"Well technically you're married, unless you don't want to--?"
"Yah, what are you trying to say?" The princess demanded, rising from the bed and poking Jinki's chest, who raised his hands in surrender.
"B-But we're not really married, are we...?"
"Why not?"
"Because we're both, well, guys--oomph!"
The princess had slammed his lips on top of Jinki's, and in his surprise, Jinki's lips part, giving his tongue access. Jinki immediately stopped struggling, his legs turning to butter at the passionate kiss.
When Key finally pulled away, he was licking his lips. "Still a problem?" Jinki couldn't say a word, simply smiled like an idiot.
Key smirked, and pulled Jinki down the bed, ignoring Jonghyun's gagging noises while Minho simply walked off with Taemin comfortably placed on his shoulder.
"Well, Lee Jinki, took you long enough."
------------------------------------------
"And they lived happily ever after."
"The princess must have been pretty old, appa."
"Yes, well, she's eternally young."
"Like umma is?"
Jinki nodded, and brushed away the soft hair on his daughter's forehead before looking up to see Key giving him a look that said that-story-was-so-bad-what-the-hell-were-you-thinking. Key rolls his eyes and bends down to press a soft kiss on their daughter's forehead.
"It's time for bed, sweetheart." Jinki bent to give their daughter a goodnight kiss as well, and Key switched the lights off.
"Sweet dreams, princess." As the door closed, their daughter's eyes drifted shut and she dreamt of pink princesses and white knights.
------------------------------------------
Omg, how awful was that. I'm writing this at 5am with a bad cold, and it's the middle of winter so forgive me. Obviously this is like, a fail version of a fairy tale LOL.
I actually had this idea for ages, but didn't know how to end it, and ended up making a header banner first hahaha. It seems pretty dismal considering it's Christmas xD It clearly shows my bias too, ohohoho~ Anyway...
Comments are loved <333