Falling Snowflakes
Title: Falling Snowflakes
Pairing: OnKey
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Summary: "How has your one year been?"
It feels like I've been dreaming for a long time
I've wandered and wandered around for a while;
The little bell attached to the cafe door made a little ring as a tall, well-dressed man entered. He looked around the cafe, briefly passing over each curious face with an easy smile, before stopping on the table beside the window. His smile widens, and he walks forward.
He stops just before the male occupant, who looks up absently. "It's been a while, Kibum."
Key's eyes widen.
----------------------------------------------
As if we made a promise
Standing here in front of each other like that day from four seasons ago;
"...You've grown," Key blurts out, then blushes in embarrassment. What kind of a comment was that, he thinks, wanting to hit himself.
But Jinki simply smiles, that sweet, gentle smile that Key hadn't seen for a year.
Had missed for a year.
"You've grown too, Kibum. It's been a while." He chuckles, and it sounded wistful. "I missed you."
Key wants to say he missed him too, but the words get stuck in his throat.
----------------------------------------------
Those beautiful stories that we wrote down together
Those eternal promises that we prayed for at that time;
"H-How have you been?" Key manages. Jinki sips his hot coffee, and Key is once again reminded of how much had changed; Jinki never drank coffee back then. Back then.
"I've been okay. I opened my own company a few months ago." Key's heart clenches again.
"S-So you really opened it, huh? Just like you said, back then." And you didn't tell me.
Jinki nods shyly. "I got some help from the hyungs, Leeteuk-hyung particularly. Taemin wants to work for me too."
Even Taemin knows. It seemed everybody knew except Key. "R-Really? Taeminnie too, huh?"
"Mm. How's your fashion line going? I saw you on TV this morning, you're doing really good."
Key forces a laugh. "Y-Yes, it's going fine."
----------------------------------------------
They're all coming back to me now and I don't think my heart can take it
I've even restrained myself at the thought of you
How has your one year been?
"Are you okay, Kibum? You sound a little funny."
Who are you? I don't even know you. I don't know this person in front of me.
"I-I'm fine." Key clears his throat forcefully, drinking a bit of water. Don't you dare cry, Kim Kibum, he told himself. He looks up, a smile forced.
But Jinki is simply looking at him, simply staring at him with those midnight eyes that knew too much, that read him like he was an open book.
A tear slips out.
----------------------------------------------
For a long time, I've been living, having forgotten of you
For a while, I thought I was doing fine;
The tears keep falling, and Jinki doesn't say a word, simply picks up a napkin and slowly wipes the tears from his cheeks. The aching gentleness caused more tears to fall, and Key pushes angrily at the hand.
"D-Don't." Those warm hands touch his cheeks, and Key pushes them away again, inwardly wanting to hold them, desperately wanting to intertwine his fingers with them and never, ever let go.
"Kibum." His name sounded utterly heartbreaking, and Key wonders how much more his heart could take. "Kibum, please don't."
Jinki's voice held a note of bleakness, and Key looked up.
Jinki's eyes were misty too.
----------------------------------------------
However I started to realize it as time passed by
That I am nothing without you;
"Look at me, crying like this," Key stammers out in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry about." Jinki hands him another napkin, and Key smothers another onslaught of tears.
Jinki doesn't even ask what was wrong, or why he was crying. He simply knew.
Jinki had always known everything about him.
----------------------------------------------
At that time, if only we had been a bit more mature
If only we knew how we would be right now;
When Key managed to compose himself again, Jinki gave him a plaintive smile. "You didn't use to cry this much before, Kibum." Key blushed.
"Pabo! You'd probably be panicking right now and asking me what was wrong." Jinki laughs.
"I probably would, and Taeminnie would cry and Jjong would panic and Minho would just stare."
"Like the weird alien he is."
They shared a laugh, then Jinki stared down at his coffee, heaving a melancholy sigh. "I miss those days."
Key misses them too.
----------------------------------------------
I have no confidence in overcoming these endless regrets
So I've had to just repress them
One year has passed like that.
"We always thought we'd last forever, you know?" Jinki begins, his long fingers lightly tracing his mug. "I never thought I'd stop saying 'contemporary band' or 'shining leader'."
Key bit his lip, feelings overwhelming him. "We could have lasted forever."
Jinki's smile is gentle, but sad. "Maybe."
Perhaps they both knew it was bound to come. Ten albums released, numerous concert tours and even reaching as far as America, SHINee had been at the height. Could still be.
It was Jonghyun who wanted to go solo first. This is good for us, you guys, he had said. It doesn't mean we're splitting, but it's good to do solo projects too.
Minho followed, saying he wanted to focus more on his modelling career. By that time, Minho had already been an established supermodel, the face of big brands.
Little Taemin grew up, and perhaps out of all of them, Taemin wanted an ordinary life the most, out of the spotlight he'd been thrust in at such a young age.
Jinki accepted the fact that the group was beginning to break, and though initially blamed it on his leadership, deep down knew it was inevitable.
Perhaps from all of them, Key was the last one to let go. The group was more just band members to him. They were his siblings that he never had, his family.
"You left so quickly, then." Key stirred his tea pensively. "You were gone, just like that."
The group officially announced its end, and at that moment, Key felt as though someone had taken a piece of his heart and burned it to ashes.
Jonghyun now worked for SM as a trainer, and was preparing for his first solo album. Minho was flourishing even more, his face plastered on billboards across the country. Taemin enrolled in an exclusive dancing school in Japan, and Jinki left for England.
The furthest away from Key.
----------------------------------------------
Could your feelings perhaps be the same as mine?
Will you give me another chance?
"Yes." Jinki had no words, the memory of his last day in Korea as fresh in his mind as if it happened just yesterday. A simple word to describe it would be heartbreaking. The boys surrounding him, the boys he'd been with for years and years, savouring the final moment he'd see them for a while.
He chuckles, swirling the coffee on his cup. "You hit me that day."
"I was angry with you." Key feels emotions choking him again; he hadn't wanted to go that day, couldn't bear the thought of Jinki just leaving, just like that.
Not seeing him everyday was bad enough; then, he even left the country. No, Key hadn't wanted to go, didn't ever want to say goodbye.
But Taemin and Minho had come over to pick him up, and the maknae had looked like he didn't want to say goodbye either. Minho had simply given Key a look that said he knew too much, knew all about Key's feelings.
"He'll be back, Kibum." Minho's soft words gave Key hope.
But faced with Jinki at that cold airport, the older boy smiling sadly at him, Key had lost his control, and slapped his hyung with all the strength and pent-up emotions inside him. He had shouted and screamed so much angry words, none of which he could remember, completely disregarding the shocked looks of the other boys, and most of all, Jinki's huge eyes that held worry and anxiety.
"I hate you!" Minho had had to pull him away, and as Jinki walked away to board the plane, he had turned back for a second, meeting Key's eyes.
"You said you hated me." Jinki reached across the table, and took one of Key's hands. "Why?"
Key's eyes had been brimming with tears, and he was saying something.
Don't go.
Key's hand tightened around his. "Because I loved you."
----------------------------------------------
I know now that we can never part from each other
The one person I love and love again;
Jinki had experienced heartbreak a number of times. His heart broke when he officially announced that SHINee was no more. His heart broke when he was standing in that airport, saying his final goodbye. His heart broke when he saw Key mouth those two simple words that made him want to turn back and stay.
His heart broke again, today. "Why?" His grasp tightened on Key's hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He had been so young, and so in love with the younger boy, but afraid to admit his feelings. A drunken night forced the truth out, and Jinki could still remember Key's wide, stunned eyes.
"I love you. Have always loved you." The sober morning after, paired with a deadly hangover, completely silenced the confession, and Jinki eventually forgot about it.
But Key hadn't.
----------------------------------------------
I wish we can go back to our first days
To the beautiful, happy and loving days;
"Would that have made you stay?" They gripped each other's hands so tightly their knuckles turned white. "Would it?"
Key knew he was a selfish person. When he wanted something, he expected to have it.
But he wanted Jinki. And between him and Jinki stood an offer to study overseas, in a university in England that Jinki would only have dreamed of doing. They had all been so shocked by the news, and Key could still remember being torn between happiness, of Jinki receiving this opportunity, and anguish, because England was far, so far away.
Yes, Key was selfish. But at that moment, at that airport, he placed Jinki's happiness before his.
Jinki didn't know what to say. He himself didn't know.
----------------------------------------------
Those heart-breaking stories and vain arguments
Just bury all of that now;
"I'm sorry."
Key managed a shaky laugh. "What is there to be sorry about?" His weak smile faded at seeing Jinki's tears.
Jinki rarely cried, and he sounded as if his heart were breaking. Key didn't want to see him like this. He was supposed to be strong.
"Yah, pabo, don't cry...!" But he was crying too, and Jinki was pulling him out of his seat and into his arms, and Key's heart burst.
----------------------------------------------
And promise that we won't take them out again.
"Don't go away again."
"I won't. I'll stay." Jinki fisted his hand in Key's soft hair. "I'll never leave you again. Ever."
----------------------------------------------
No matter how many seasons pass and how many years go by
I hope that we won't meet like today again.
Eyes puffy and red, but with bright smiles on their lips, they left the cafe and stepped out in the cold, the falling snowflakes swirling around them.
They faded into the distance, their hands intertwined, never letting go.
How has your one year been?
----------------------------------------------
Inspiration: 3 inches of snow outside.
Okay, so, I'm going on an 'OnKey' hiatus, which basically means I won't be writing OnKey fics for a short period. Why, you ask?
1. Lack of OnKey fanservice
2. Overload of JongKey, OnTae, OnHyun, MinKey, whatever other pairing BUT OnKey
3. They annoy me because of lack of OnKey fanservice
Yeah, pretty much. Not bashing them, still love the boys, but. Yeah. My motivation has dried up, and has yet to make a comeback. Will be focusing more on other pairings/fandoms :|
On another note, the song on the fic is the english translation of Onew and Jessica's One Year Later, which is a lovely song, I recommend reading this while playing it. The song was pretty much on repeat while I was writing this. Initially it was going to be a sad ending, but then, as a sort-of farewell fic I thought I'd make it a happy one instead.
Comments are loved? <333
Pairing: OnKey
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Summary: "How has your one year been?"
It feels like I've been dreaming for a long time
I've wandered and wandered around for a while;
The little bell attached to the cafe door made a little ring as a tall, well-dressed man entered. He looked around the cafe, briefly passing over each curious face with an easy smile, before stopping on the table beside the window. His smile widens, and he walks forward.
He stops just before the male occupant, who looks up absently. "It's been a while, Kibum."
Key's eyes widen.
----------------------------------------------
As if we made a promise
Standing here in front of each other like that day from four seasons ago;
"...You've grown," Key blurts out, then blushes in embarrassment. What kind of a comment was that, he thinks, wanting to hit himself.
But Jinki simply smiles, that sweet, gentle smile that Key hadn't seen for a year.
Had missed for a year.
"You've grown too, Kibum. It's been a while." He chuckles, and it sounded wistful. "I missed you."
Key wants to say he missed him too, but the words get stuck in his throat.
----------------------------------------------
Those beautiful stories that we wrote down together
Those eternal promises that we prayed for at that time;
"H-How have you been?" Key manages. Jinki sips his hot coffee, and Key is once again reminded of how much had changed; Jinki never drank coffee back then. Back then.
"I've been okay. I opened my own company a few months ago." Key's heart clenches again.
"S-So you really opened it, huh? Just like you said, back then." And you didn't tell me.
Jinki nods shyly. "I got some help from the hyungs, Leeteuk-hyung particularly. Taemin wants to work for me too."
Even Taemin knows. It seemed everybody knew except Key. "R-Really? Taeminnie too, huh?"
"Mm. How's your fashion line going? I saw you on TV this morning, you're doing really good."
Key forces a laugh. "Y-Yes, it's going fine."
----------------------------------------------
They're all coming back to me now and I don't think my heart can take it
I've even restrained myself at the thought of you
How has your one year been?
"Are you okay, Kibum? You sound a little funny."
Who are you? I don't even know you. I don't know this person in front of me.
"I-I'm fine." Key clears his throat forcefully, drinking a bit of water. Don't you dare cry, Kim Kibum, he told himself. He looks up, a smile forced.
But Jinki is simply looking at him, simply staring at him with those midnight eyes that knew too much, that read him like he was an open book.
A tear slips out.
----------------------------------------------
For a long time, I've been living, having forgotten of you
For a while, I thought I was doing fine;
The tears keep falling, and Jinki doesn't say a word, simply picks up a napkin and slowly wipes the tears from his cheeks. The aching gentleness caused more tears to fall, and Key pushes angrily at the hand.
"D-Don't." Those warm hands touch his cheeks, and Key pushes them away again, inwardly wanting to hold them, desperately wanting to intertwine his fingers with them and never, ever let go.
"Kibum." His name sounded utterly heartbreaking, and Key wonders how much more his heart could take. "Kibum, please don't."
Jinki's voice held a note of bleakness, and Key looked up.
Jinki's eyes were misty too.
----------------------------------------------
However I started to realize it as time passed by
That I am nothing without you;
"Look at me, crying like this," Key stammers out in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry about." Jinki hands him another napkin, and Key smothers another onslaught of tears.
Jinki doesn't even ask what was wrong, or why he was crying. He simply knew.
Jinki had always known everything about him.
----------------------------------------------
At that time, if only we had been a bit more mature
If only we knew how we would be right now;
When Key managed to compose himself again, Jinki gave him a plaintive smile. "You didn't use to cry this much before, Kibum." Key blushed.
"Pabo! You'd probably be panicking right now and asking me what was wrong." Jinki laughs.
"I probably would, and Taeminnie would cry and Jjong would panic and Minho would just stare."
"Like the weird alien he is."
They shared a laugh, then Jinki stared down at his coffee, heaving a melancholy sigh. "I miss those days."
Key misses them too.
----------------------------------------------
I have no confidence in overcoming these endless regrets
So I've had to just repress them
One year has passed like that.
"We always thought we'd last forever, you know?" Jinki begins, his long fingers lightly tracing his mug. "I never thought I'd stop saying 'contemporary band' or 'shining leader'."
Key bit his lip, feelings overwhelming him. "We could have lasted forever."
Jinki's smile is gentle, but sad. "Maybe."
Perhaps they both knew it was bound to come. Ten albums released, numerous concert tours and even reaching as far as America, SHINee had been at the height. Could still be.
It was Jonghyun who wanted to go solo first. This is good for us, you guys, he had said. It doesn't mean we're splitting, but it's good to do solo projects too.
Minho followed, saying he wanted to focus more on his modelling career. By that time, Minho had already been an established supermodel, the face of big brands.
Little Taemin grew up, and perhaps out of all of them, Taemin wanted an ordinary life the most, out of the spotlight he'd been thrust in at such a young age.
Jinki accepted the fact that the group was beginning to break, and though initially blamed it on his leadership, deep down knew it was inevitable.
Perhaps from all of them, Key was the last one to let go. The group was more just band members to him. They were his siblings that he never had, his family.
"You left so quickly, then." Key stirred his tea pensively. "You were gone, just like that."
The group officially announced its end, and at that moment, Key felt as though someone had taken a piece of his heart and burned it to ashes.
Jonghyun now worked for SM as a trainer, and was preparing for his first solo album. Minho was flourishing even more, his face plastered on billboards across the country. Taemin enrolled in an exclusive dancing school in Japan, and Jinki left for England.
The furthest away from Key.
----------------------------------------------
Could your feelings perhaps be the same as mine?
Will you give me another chance?
"Yes." Jinki had no words, the memory of his last day in Korea as fresh in his mind as if it happened just yesterday. A simple word to describe it would be heartbreaking. The boys surrounding him, the boys he'd been with for years and years, savouring the final moment he'd see them for a while.
He chuckles, swirling the coffee on his cup. "You hit me that day."
"I was angry with you." Key feels emotions choking him again; he hadn't wanted to go that day, couldn't bear the thought of Jinki just leaving, just like that.
Not seeing him everyday was bad enough; then, he even left the country. No, Key hadn't wanted to go, didn't ever want to say goodbye.
But Taemin and Minho had come over to pick him up, and the maknae had looked like he didn't want to say goodbye either. Minho had simply given Key a look that said he knew too much, knew all about Key's feelings.
"He'll be back, Kibum." Minho's soft words gave Key hope.
But faced with Jinki at that cold airport, the older boy smiling sadly at him, Key had lost his control, and slapped his hyung with all the strength and pent-up emotions inside him. He had shouted and screamed so much angry words, none of which he could remember, completely disregarding the shocked looks of the other boys, and most of all, Jinki's huge eyes that held worry and anxiety.
"I hate you!" Minho had had to pull him away, and as Jinki walked away to board the plane, he had turned back for a second, meeting Key's eyes.
"You said you hated me." Jinki reached across the table, and took one of Key's hands. "Why?"
Key's eyes had been brimming with tears, and he was saying something.
Don't go.
Key's hand tightened around his. "Because I loved you."
----------------------------------------------
I know now that we can never part from each other
The one person I love and love again;
Jinki had experienced heartbreak a number of times. His heart broke when he officially announced that SHINee was no more. His heart broke when he was standing in that airport, saying his final goodbye. His heart broke when he saw Key mouth those two simple words that made him want to turn back and stay.
His heart broke again, today. "Why?" His grasp tightened on Key's hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He had been so young, and so in love with the younger boy, but afraid to admit his feelings. A drunken night forced the truth out, and Jinki could still remember Key's wide, stunned eyes.
"I love you. Have always loved you." The sober morning after, paired with a deadly hangover, completely silenced the confession, and Jinki eventually forgot about it.
But Key hadn't.
----------------------------------------------
I wish we can go back to our first days
To the beautiful, happy and loving days;
"Would that have made you stay?" They gripped each other's hands so tightly their knuckles turned white. "Would it?"
Key knew he was a selfish person. When he wanted something, he expected to have it.
But he wanted Jinki. And between him and Jinki stood an offer to study overseas, in a university in England that Jinki would only have dreamed of doing. They had all been so shocked by the news, and Key could still remember being torn between happiness, of Jinki receiving this opportunity, and anguish, because England was far, so far away.
Yes, Key was selfish. But at that moment, at that airport, he placed Jinki's happiness before his.
Jinki didn't know what to say. He himself didn't know.
----------------------------------------------
Those heart-breaking stories and vain arguments
Just bury all of that now;
"I'm sorry."
Key managed a shaky laugh. "What is there to be sorry about?" His weak smile faded at seeing Jinki's tears.
Jinki rarely cried, and he sounded as if his heart were breaking. Key didn't want to see him like this. He was supposed to be strong.
"Yah, pabo, don't cry...!" But he was crying too, and Jinki was pulling him out of his seat and into his arms, and Key's heart burst.
----------------------------------------------
And promise that we won't take them out again.
"Don't go away again."
"I won't. I'll stay." Jinki fisted his hand in Key's soft hair. "I'll never leave you again. Ever."
----------------------------------------------
No matter how many seasons pass and how many years go by
I hope that we won't meet like today again.
Eyes puffy and red, but with bright smiles on their lips, they left the cafe and stepped out in the cold, the falling snowflakes swirling around them.
They faded into the distance, their hands intertwined, never letting go.
How has your one year been?
----------------------------------------------
Inspiration: 3 inches of snow outside.
Okay, so, I'm going on an 'OnKey' hiatus, which basically means I won't be writing OnKey fics for a short period. Why, you ask?
1. Lack of OnKey fanservice
2. Overload of JongKey, OnTae, OnHyun, MinKey, whatever other pairing BUT OnKey
3. They annoy me because of lack of OnKey fanservice
Yeah, pretty much. Not bashing them, still love the boys, but. Yeah. My motivation has dried up, and has yet to make a comeback. Will be focusing more on other pairings/fandoms :|
On another note, the song on the fic is the english translation of Onew and Jessica's One Year Later, which is a lovely song, I recommend reading this while playing it. The song was pretty much on repeat while I was writing this. Initially it was going to be a sad ending, but then, as a sort-of farewell fic I thought I'd make it a happy one instead.
Comments are loved? <333