Shower Curtains
Title: Shower Curtains
Pairing: OnKey
Rating: PG for language
Genre: Crack
Summary: In which Jinki is guilty, and Key misunderstands.
Notes: Dedicated to jelliemonster because she revived my OnKey inspiration XD Ilu~ <3
Key was the sort of person who noticed anything and everything.
Nothing misses the Almighty's sharp observation skills. Absolutely nothing.
So when Jinki started acting funny, the Almighty, of course, noticed.
"Jinki."
Jinki jumped a few feet in the air and possibly lost ten years of his life.
"Uh...yes, Kibummie?"
Key narrowed his eyes, looking the older boy up and down, then suddenly smiled pleasantly.
"How are you doing?"
Jinki shifted his eyes left and right, scratching his temple in confusion.
"I'm doing fine, thank you...? How are you...?"
"Fine, thanks. You wouldn't happen to have something to tell me, would you?"
Jinki kept his face blank. "I don't think so--" The pleasant smile disappeared.
"You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"
Honestly, it was getting quite chilly. "Really, Kibummie--"
The door swung open, and Taemin let out a shocked yelp. Jinki echoed it and quickly grabbed the shower curtain to cover the 'essentials'.
Key simply looked annoyed at the interruption, and Taemin recovered from his shock and gave him a disapproving frown.
"Really, umma, why are you interrupting Jinki-hyung's shower--"
Taemin forcefully dragged his umma out to leave Jinki to bathe in peace, Key vowed he'd make Jinki spill his secret, and Jinki realized that Key wasn't called 'Key' for no reason, as he was completely sure he'd locked that door.
---------------------------------------------
"Lunch! Get your lazy asses in here! Taeminnie, lunch is ready!" The latter was delivered in a sweeter tone as opposed to the former, and the hungry dorm inhabitants excitedly made their way to the dining table. Key stood by in his pink apron and spatula as the boys piled in one by one. Jjong, Minho, Baby Taeminnie--
"Where's Jinki?" The three froze in the middle of assembling their plates and bowls, and threw glances at each other.
"I dunno."
"I don't either, umma. Maybe he's out?"
Minho simply shrugged; he didn't really care, he was hungry and wanted some lunch. Expecting the diva to be appeased, they waited expectantly for the food.
It didn't come. One of the golden rules of the household was, never miss mealtimes, especially when Key had cooked something. Expect a draconian punishment or otherwise face starvation for the next few days.
No, Key wasn't pleased at all. "Nobody's eating until I know where Jinki is, got it!" He ignored the loud groans from all three, and waited impatiently while Jonghyun took his phone out and dialled Jinki's number.
The phone rang a few times, before Jinki picked up. "Hello?"
"Hyung, where the hell are you? We're starving!" was Jonghyun's idea of a nice greeting.
There was an embarrassed laugh from the other line. "Uh, why?"
"It's lunch, hyung. Kibum's lunch." No other explanation needed.
Jinki cleared his throat, stalling for time. "Well, umm, can you tell Kibum I kind of--can't--make it--" But Jonghyun neglected to inform his poor hyung that the phone was actually on speaker, and Key was hearing every word of the exchange.
Key grabbed the phone so hard it almost cracked. Ignoring Jonghyun's squeak of protest, Key yelled straight into the receiver. "The fuck do you mean 'can't make it'?"
There was a stunned silence from the other side, before a small, "H-Hi, Kibummie..."
"You better have a good excuse or you're gonna get this fried chicken shoved up your arse when you get home."
Jinki chose to ignore most of the threat, instead focusing on the mention of his favourite food. "Fried chicken? Really? I'll be right--"
"Jinki? Lunch is ready..."
It was as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water over all their heads when that female - female - voice drifted from the other line. Nobody dared breathe. Nobody dared move a muscle.
Three, two, one.
"Who the fuck was that and why are you with a woman--"
The tone went dead, which meant Jinki hung up. The phone received another painful crack before Key sent it flying out the window.
Nobody had lunch that afternoon.
---------------------------------------------
"Umma is so scary..."
"...I'm hungry."
"My phone...!"
Minho sympathetically pat his hyung's back, who was still mourning the loss of his brand new phone. The three boys were gathered in one corner of the living room, cautiously eyeing the dining table where the diva was sitting. The entire area surrounding him seemed to be crackling with malevolent energy, and Minho wondered if he could possibly sneak past into the kitchen to grab something to eat.
"Don't do it, hyung, you'll die," Taemin hissed, clearly reading his intentions. Minho sighed; as concerned as he was to Jinki-hyung's terrible fate by the time he got home, Minho was never one to appreciate having no meals, and right now he didn't give a good damn at whatever Key had in store for Jinki until he got a proper meal.
He got to his feet, and Taemin immediately clung to him, not wanting to be left alone in the dorm with the angry diva, umma or not. "Off to manager's," he threw absently at Key as a goodbye, dragging Jonghyun with him in case the hyung did something stupid.
That evening, Key's anger was anything but appeased, and he calmly - on the surface, anyway - awaited Jinki's return, staring so hard at the dorm's door it was surprisingly still intact.
Everyone tried to get on with their business, but everyone was cautiously awaiting their hyung's return, foreseeing a violent bloodbath.
It was so silent in the house, everyone jumped out of their skin when the phone rang. Since he was the closest, Taemin shakily pressed speaker. "H-Hello?"
"Hello? Is this Taemin-ah?"
The voice was unfamiliar. "Yes, who is this?"
"This is Sungmin, I was just calling to say that Jinki's going to be staying over our dorm tonight, he wanted you guys to know. He says he'll be back tomorrow morning."
"Can I speak to him, hyung?" Key suddenly spoke. There was a brief silence from the other line, before Sungmin spoke again.
"He's in the uh, shower, Kibum-ah. I'll hang up now, okay?" The tone went dead.
Key certainly hadn't missed the whispered "I'm in the shower, tell him I'm in the shower" from the other line, which meant Jinki was in the Super Junior dorm, and not in some staying in some random bimbo's house, cheating on Key.
But Jinki certainly hadn't escaped his punishment. In fact, it intensified.
The wooden spatula in Key's hand neatly snapped in two, and everyone gulped at Key's sudden smile.
No, the punishment just got much, much worse.
---------------------------------------------
The world seemed to be against Key, though.
His outraged roar echoed throughout the dorm and beyond the dorm building at the early hours of the following morning, and the three boys scrambled up from their bed and hurriedly stumbled to the kitchen, expecting to find their Jinki-hyung beaten to the bloody pulp.
They instead find Key holding a note.
Since Key was still so preoccupied venting out his anger, Minho bravely grabbed the note and ran as fast as he could.
The three gathered at a corner while Key had moved to smashing things. Minho read the note out loud, "Hi guys, just went home to change clothes and had to head out to a schedule. Sorry, Kibummie, I'll explain everything soon, I promise. Love, Jinki-hyung."
A frying pan came flying out of the kitchen and across the living room, narrowly missing the X-Box.
The three started praying for a quick, painless death for their beloved hyung.
---------------------------------------------
Key had had enough.
Everyone assumed he was crying for Jinki's blood - technically, he was - but, truth be told, Key was very, very worried.
Jinki had never gone so far to avoid him this much. It was a terrifying, devastating thought, and it pissed Key off.
So fuck my schedule, Key thought, barking out the address of the photoshoot studio where Jinki had a schedule to the taxi driver.
He arrived at the venue, everyone scrambling to get out of his way - his black aura was terrifying enough - and, like Moses parting the Red Sea, he reached Jinki, who was still oblivious to the commotion behind him and was busy getting his hair done.
One glare sent the stylist noona running, and Jinki blinked in confusion, before turning around.
Face to face with the one person he'd been trying to avoid.
"You. Me. Dressing room. Now."
Oh, he was going to get it now. Feeling very much like an animal being led to the slaughter-house, Jinki meekly let himself be herded to the dressing room, praying for a painless death.
The dressing room's lock clicked into place, and the heavy click of the bolt felt like the signal of his end.
---------------------------------------------
Jinki shuffled awkwardly in his feet, awaiting his fate.
Key had arrived fully-armed. On one hand, he could use the violent approach, which was more or less beating an explanation out of Jinki. On the other hand, he could use the 'guilty' approach, which was basically staying silent until Jinki cracked and babbled out an explanation.
There were a lot more, honestly, but faced with Jinki in the cold dressing room, the older boy refusing to meet his eyes, Key used a technique neither of them expected.
He burst into tears.
Jinki wasn't sure who was more surprised. The stunned look on Key's face obviously meant he hadn't been expecting this reaction either. Key choked back a cry, but the tears kept falling, and eventually he couldn't hold back the sobs.
And oh, it broke Jinki's heart. "Kibummie--" He moved to touch the younger boy, but Key was by no means welcoming it.
"Don't touch me, you cheating bastard--!"
Jinki was taken aback. "Cheating? M-Me?"
"That's why you're avoiding me, isn't it? You've found somebody else, you're going out with a girl behind my back--" Key's throat was painful, but he forced the words out. "Well I'm sorry for having a penis, you could at least have the fucking decency to b-break up with me properly--umph!"
The violent tirade was abruptly cut off by Jinki taking two strides forward, cupping Key's cheeks and slamming his lips on top of the younger boy's. Key tried to push him away, but Jinki was stronger, and the kiss lasted until Key finally calmed.
Leaning heavily on Jinki's arms, Key felt vulnerable and pathetic. He felt Jinki tenderly caress his hair and press a soft kiss on his temple; the gentle actions brought more tears to his eyes, and he tried to pull away again, but Jinki held him tighter.
"Kibum, look at me."
"No, you cheating asshole--!"
"I didn't cheat on you, okay? Yesterday I was at the SNSD dorm. It was Sooyoung you heard. I swear to God, Kibum, you can even ask them if you like."
Key blinked once, twice. Then narrowed his eyes. "Why were you there?"
Jinki cleared his throat uncomfortably. "W-What's important is, I didn't cheat on you, okay? I would never cheat on you." He smiled tenderly, and Key's eyes filled again. "I'm sorry for being a jerk, Kibummie."
It was embarrassing, but Key was certain he'd made enough of a fool of himself anyway. "Tell me you love me, you jerk."
"I love you."
"And don't you ever forget it." Fears washed away and the unanswered question temporarily forgotten, Key expertly tore Jinki's clothes off, ignoring the concerned knocking at the locked door.
---------------------------------------------
"Wait." Jinki froze at the middle of buckling his pants, and took a deep breath of courage before facing Key.
"Yes, darling?"
Key rolled his eyes. "Don't you darling me. What were you doing in the SNSD dorm, anyway? And why did you spend the night at our sunbaes' dorm?"
Jinki wondered how long he could keep the secret. "Well, they were kind of helping me assemble something..."
Key sat up. "Assemble? Assemble what, exactly?"
Here goes nothing, Jinki thinks. Farewell, cruel world.
"Well, Kibummie, I kind of broke your favourite vase..."
"YOU WHAT--"
---------------------------------------------
LOL there goes my OnKey hiatus. It lasted two days, before this idea hit me at midnight and here I am, writing it at 4am 8D OnKey inspiration works in mysterious ways.
I haven't written crack in a while, so it might be a little rusty D; But yes, my OnKey inspiration is back! Long live OnKey ;_____; Yay~
Comments are loved <333
Pairing: OnKey
Rating: PG for language
Genre: Crack
Summary: In which Jinki is guilty, and Key misunderstands.
Notes: Dedicated to jelliemonster because she revived my OnKey inspiration XD Ilu~ <3
Key was the sort of person who noticed anything and everything.
Nothing misses the Almighty's sharp observation skills. Absolutely nothing.
So when Jinki started acting funny, the Almighty, of course, noticed.
"Jinki."
Jinki jumped a few feet in the air and possibly lost ten years of his life.
"Uh...yes, Kibummie?"
Key narrowed his eyes, looking the older boy up and down, then suddenly smiled pleasantly.
"How are you doing?"
Jinki shifted his eyes left and right, scratching his temple in confusion.
"I'm doing fine, thank you...? How are you...?"
"Fine, thanks. You wouldn't happen to have something to tell me, would you?"
Jinki kept his face blank. "I don't think so--" The pleasant smile disappeared.
"You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"
Honestly, it was getting quite chilly. "Really, Kibummie--"
The door swung open, and Taemin let out a shocked yelp. Jinki echoed it and quickly grabbed the shower curtain to cover the 'essentials'.
Key simply looked annoyed at the interruption, and Taemin recovered from his shock and gave him a disapproving frown.
"Really, umma, why are you interrupting Jinki-hyung's shower--"
Taemin forcefully dragged his umma out to leave Jinki to bathe in peace, Key vowed he'd make Jinki spill his secret, and Jinki realized that Key wasn't called 'Key' for no reason, as he was completely sure he'd locked that door.
---------------------------------------------
"Lunch! Get your lazy asses in here! Taeminnie, lunch is ready!" The latter was delivered in a sweeter tone as opposed to the former, and the hungry dorm inhabitants excitedly made their way to the dining table. Key stood by in his pink apron and spatula as the boys piled in one by one. Jjong, Minho, Baby Taeminnie--
"Where's Jinki?" The three froze in the middle of assembling their plates and bowls, and threw glances at each other.
"I dunno."
"I don't either, umma. Maybe he's out?"
Minho simply shrugged; he didn't really care, he was hungry and wanted some lunch. Expecting the diva to be appeased, they waited expectantly for the food.
It didn't come. One of the golden rules of the household was, never miss mealtimes, especially when Key had cooked something. Expect a draconian punishment or otherwise face starvation for the next few days.
No, Key wasn't pleased at all. "Nobody's eating until I know where Jinki is, got it!" He ignored the loud groans from all three, and waited impatiently while Jonghyun took his phone out and dialled Jinki's number.
The phone rang a few times, before Jinki picked up. "Hello?"
"Hyung, where the hell are you? We're starving!" was Jonghyun's idea of a nice greeting.
There was an embarrassed laugh from the other line. "Uh, why?"
"It's lunch, hyung. Kibum's lunch." No other explanation needed.
Jinki cleared his throat, stalling for time. "Well, umm, can you tell Kibum I kind of--can't--make it--" But Jonghyun neglected to inform his poor hyung that the phone was actually on speaker, and Key was hearing every word of the exchange.
Key grabbed the phone so hard it almost cracked. Ignoring Jonghyun's squeak of protest, Key yelled straight into the receiver. "The fuck do you mean 'can't make it'?"
There was a stunned silence from the other side, before a small, "H-Hi, Kibummie..."
"You better have a good excuse or you're gonna get this fried chicken shoved up your arse when you get home."
Jinki chose to ignore most of the threat, instead focusing on the mention of his favourite food. "Fried chicken? Really? I'll be right--"
"Jinki? Lunch is ready..."
It was as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water over all their heads when that female - female - voice drifted from the other line. Nobody dared breathe. Nobody dared move a muscle.
Three, two, one.
"Who the fuck was that and why are you with a woman--"
The tone went dead, which meant Jinki hung up. The phone received another painful crack before Key sent it flying out the window.
Nobody had lunch that afternoon.
---------------------------------------------
"Umma is so scary..."
"...I'm hungry."
"My phone...!"
Minho sympathetically pat his hyung's back, who was still mourning the loss of his brand new phone. The three boys were gathered in one corner of the living room, cautiously eyeing the dining table where the diva was sitting. The entire area surrounding him seemed to be crackling with malevolent energy, and Minho wondered if he could possibly sneak past into the kitchen to grab something to eat.
"Don't do it, hyung, you'll die," Taemin hissed, clearly reading his intentions. Minho sighed; as concerned as he was to Jinki-hyung's terrible fate by the time he got home, Minho was never one to appreciate having no meals, and right now he didn't give a good damn at whatever Key had in store for Jinki until he got a proper meal.
He got to his feet, and Taemin immediately clung to him, not wanting to be left alone in the dorm with the angry diva, umma or not. "Off to manager's," he threw absently at Key as a goodbye, dragging Jonghyun with him in case the hyung did something stupid.
That evening, Key's anger was anything but appeased, and he calmly - on the surface, anyway - awaited Jinki's return, staring so hard at the dorm's door it was surprisingly still intact.
Everyone tried to get on with their business, but everyone was cautiously awaiting their hyung's return, foreseeing a violent bloodbath.
It was so silent in the house, everyone jumped out of their skin when the phone rang. Since he was the closest, Taemin shakily pressed speaker. "H-Hello?"
"Hello? Is this Taemin-ah?"
The voice was unfamiliar. "Yes, who is this?"
"This is Sungmin, I was just calling to say that Jinki's going to be staying over our dorm tonight, he wanted you guys to know. He says he'll be back tomorrow morning."
"Can I speak to him, hyung?" Key suddenly spoke. There was a brief silence from the other line, before Sungmin spoke again.
"He's in the uh, shower, Kibum-ah. I'll hang up now, okay?" The tone went dead.
Key certainly hadn't missed the whispered "I'm in the shower, tell him I'm in the shower" from the other line, which meant Jinki was in the Super Junior dorm, and not in some staying in some random bimbo's house, cheating on Key.
But Jinki certainly hadn't escaped his punishment. In fact, it intensified.
The wooden spatula in Key's hand neatly snapped in two, and everyone gulped at Key's sudden smile.
No, the punishment just got much, much worse.
---------------------------------------------
The world seemed to be against Key, though.
His outraged roar echoed throughout the dorm and beyond the dorm building at the early hours of the following morning, and the three boys scrambled up from their bed and hurriedly stumbled to the kitchen, expecting to find their Jinki-hyung beaten to the bloody pulp.
They instead find Key holding a note.
Since Key was still so preoccupied venting out his anger, Minho bravely grabbed the note and ran as fast as he could.
The three gathered at a corner while Key had moved to smashing things. Minho read the note out loud, "Hi guys, just went home to change clothes and had to head out to a schedule. Sorry, Kibummie, I'll explain everything soon, I promise. Love, Jinki-hyung."
A frying pan came flying out of the kitchen and across the living room, narrowly missing the X-Box.
The three started praying for a quick, painless death for their beloved hyung.
---------------------------------------------
Key had had enough.
Everyone assumed he was crying for Jinki's blood - technically, he was - but, truth be told, Key was very, very worried.
Jinki had never gone so far to avoid him this much. It was a terrifying, devastating thought, and it pissed Key off.
So fuck my schedule, Key thought, barking out the address of the photoshoot studio where Jinki had a schedule to the taxi driver.
He arrived at the venue, everyone scrambling to get out of his way - his black aura was terrifying enough - and, like Moses parting the Red Sea, he reached Jinki, who was still oblivious to the commotion behind him and was busy getting his hair done.
One glare sent the stylist noona running, and Jinki blinked in confusion, before turning around.
Face to face with the one person he'd been trying to avoid.
"You. Me. Dressing room. Now."
Oh, he was going to get it now. Feeling very much like an animal being led to the slaughter-house, Jinki meekly let himself be herded to the dressing room, praying for a painless death.
The dressing room's lock clicked into place, and the heavy click of the bolt felt like the signal of his end.
---------------------------------------------
Jinki shuffled awkwardly in his feet, awaiting his fate.
Key had arrived fully-armed. On one hand, he could use the violent approach, which was more or less beating an explanation out of Jinki. On the other hand, he could use the 'guilty' approach, which was basically staying silent until Jinki cracked and babbled out an explanation.
There were a lot more, honestly, but faced with Jinki in the cold dressing room, the older boy refusing to meet his eyes, Key used a technique neither of them expected.
He burst into tears.
Jinki wasn't sure who was more surprised. The stunned look on Key's face obviously meant he hadn't been expecting this reaction either. Key choked back a cry, but the tears kept falling, and eventually he couldn't hold back the sobs.
And oh, it broke Jinki's heart. "Kibummie--" He moved to touch the younger boy, but Key was by no means welcoming it.
"Don't touch me, you cheating bastard--!"
Jinki was taken aback. "Cheating? M-Me?"
"That's why you're avoiding me, isn't it? You've found somebody else, you're going out with a girl behind my back--" Key's throat was painful, but he forced the words out. "Well I'm sorry for having a penis, you could at least have the fucking decency to b-break up with me properly--umph!"
The violent tirade was abruptly cut off by Jinki taking two strides forward, cupping Key's cheeks and slamming his lips on top of the younger boy's. Key tried to push him away, but Jinki was stronger, and the kiss lasted until Key finally calmed.
Leaning heavily on Jinki's arms, Key felt vulnerable and pathetic. He felt Jinki tenderly caress his hair and press a soft kiss on his temple; the gentle actions brought more tears to his eyes, and he tried to pull away again, but Jinki held him tighter.
"Kibum, look at me."
"No, you cheating asshole--!"
"I didn't cheat on you, okay? Yesterday I was at the SNSD dorm. It was Sooyoung you heard. I swear to God, Kibum, you can even ask them if you like."
Key blinked once, twice. Then narrowed his eyes. "Why were you there?"
Jinki cleared his throat uncomfortably. "W-What's important is, I didn't cheat on you, okay? I would never cheat on you." He smiled tenderly, and Key's eyes filled again. "I'm sorry for being a jerk, Kibummie."
It was embarrassing, but Key was certain he'd made enough of a fool of himself anyway. "Tell me you love me, you jerk."
"I love you."
"And don't you ever forget it." Fears washed away and the unanswered question temporarily forgotten, Key expertly tore Jinki's clothes off, ignoring the concerned knocking at the locked door.
---------------------------------------------
"Wait." Jinki froze at the middle of buckling his pants, and took a deep breath of courage before facing Key.
"Yes, darling?"
Key rolled his eyes. "Don't you darling me. What were you doing in the SNSD dorm, anyway? And why did you spend the night at our sunbaes' dorm?"
Jinki wondered how long he could keep the secret. "Well, they were kind of helping me assemble something..."
Key sat up. "Assemble? Assemble what, exactly?"
Here goes nothing, Jinki thinks. Farewell, cruel world.
"Well, Kibummie, I kind of broke your favourite vase..."
"YOU WHAT--"
---------------------------------------------
LOL there goes my OnKey hiatus. It lasted two days, before this idea hit me at midnight and here I am, writing it at 4am 8D OnKey inspiration works in mysterious ways.
I haven't written crack in a while, so it might be a little rusty D; But yes, my OnKey inspiration is back! Long live OnKey ;_____; Yay~
Comments are loved <333