I Can 我可以 [Oneshot]
~我可以~
~Wo Ke Yi~
I, at nineteen years old, try my best at everything I do.
I am, Ryosuke Yamada.
In five seconds, you are about to witness the beginnings of a romance.
3… 2… 1.
Crack. A piercing thunderclap roars in my ears as the shinai impacts with my forehead, striking me. My classmates anxiously rush to my side, the imminent pain already beginning to course through my body from the throbbing wound. My eyesight blurs in a sudden daze; I feel myself falling backward, falling out of consciousness, and as the worried expression of the one who had struck me floats hazily into my view, I feel myself falling in love.
~~
My heart flutters. As he apologizes for accidentally knocking me unconscious during our kendo practice earlier that morning, I find myself unable to resist his warm, summery smile. I forgive him easily.
Regardless, he insists on helping me take care of my wound.
He holds my hand as he gently begins to clean the cut, squeezing my fingers tenderly when I involuntarily wince at the sting. He gently applies medicine to my wound, blowing sweetly, softly on my forehead to relieve the pain. He gingerly sticks a bandage over the cut, making me smile sheepishly, shyly, up into his eyes that are filled with a lovable concentration. He smiles back.
He, is Yuto Nakajima.
~~
Outside our classroom, in our school’s courtyard, stands a wishing tree, dubbed by the students as such, as we all write our wishes out on slips of paper and tie them onto the thin, drooping branches. In the tranquil breeze, the white ghost tails dance and swim in the calming winds, flying, as if our wishes are ascending to the heavens.
Upon entering the courtyard the morning following my fateful accident, I hesitate. My heart is beating, accelerating in a crescendo alongside an unknown warmth in my chest as my eyes spot Yuto Nakajima wishing by the tree. Smiling softly, I timidly shuffle over behind him, and as Yuto closes his eyes to recite his wish, I peek over his shoulder at the slip of paper he is holding between his fingers.
On the day of my 18th birthday, I wish the person I love will confess to me…
Reading his handwriting, my heart skips a beat, its thumping resounding even louder in my ears as pink flush tinges upon my cheeks. I wonder if the one he loves might possibly be me, but I immediately discard the notion from my mind, warning myself to stop being so foolishly naive.
~~
The day of Yuto Nakajima’s birthday, the teacher agrees to allow Yuto to bring in a cake so we can all celebrate together with our own little party. That morning, excited that I will not have to face Yuto in my typical old kendo uniform, I slip a shirt and a loose cardigan over my head, the soft yellow cloth of the latter falling onto my frame and hugging my arms all the way down past my wrists and up to my knuckles. The warmth embraces me gently, in a way I imagine only thoughts of Yuto can.
“Can I love you?!” I scream at the top of my lungs, flinging both my voice and my torso as far out as I can reach, leaning over the railing of the balcony, expelling the nervous tension that is beginning to escalate within me.
I have made my decision - I am going to confess to him today.
With my heart set upon this one purpose, this one motivation to bring my blissful happiness, I head out the door, bouncing a bouquet of flowers I had bought, to serve as an accompaniment to my love, back and forth between my hands in eagerness.
I don’t know how to tell you, I’m really happy… It’s probably due to the rush of my adrenaline. And so, I start to run.
My steps strike down at the pavement as my legs begin to pick up speed. A wide grin breaks out on my face, and my eyes shine with happiness. Without realizing it, I build up so much momentum beneath my feet that I take a giant leap, catapulting my body so high off the ground, I soar in triumph.
Today is the day I will win my love.
~~
With the cheerily bright grin still glowing from my countenance, I hurriedly slide open the classroom door, unable to contain my excitement any longer.
A horrible mistake.
I am left shocked, speechless, as I witness Yuto leaning in to peck Keito tenderly on the cheek as he receives a gift from the older classmate of ours. Realization of my self-centered naivety dawns upon me as my spirits, my smile, and the bouquet I had been clutching onto so nervously, all fall, shattering as they crash to the rigidly frozen ground.
~~
“Ryosuke, why are you here all by yourself? Aren’t you bored?” Yuto comes up to me, sitting down at my side as he flashes me that same captivating smile.
“No,” I reply apathetically, trying my best to tear my eyes away from Yuto within the second that I turn to see him. Although it was my fault for being so conceited, foolishly assuming that Yuto had fallen in love with me, I feel betrayed. All these acts of care and friendliness on his part are merely… acts. All these sensations… attraction, affection, he awakens them within me, yet he feels nothing in return? The sheer thought of my one-sided love clenches at my heart.
“Then… after practice today, do you want to hang out together?” Yuto inquires innocently, his friendly warmth emulating from both his words and his large, mesmerizing dark, but gentle brown eyes, inviting me to agree to come along.
But before I even have a chance to consider saying yes, I rush away, unwilling to allow myself to fall into his alluring, entrancing gaze, unwilling to listen to my heart pounding any more uncontrollably against my chest.
“Hey Ryosuke-” he calls after me.
I don’t listen.
~~
As I walk out the classroom door later that afternoon, I see Keito running out to the courtyard as well, the mere sight of him making unfamiliar jealousy boil in my veins. But without warning, Keito hurries over to a girl waiting by the school gates, kissing the stranger tenderly as soon as they meet in an intimate embrace.
I freeze, dreading to see him cheating on my Yuto.
~~
That night, Yuto Nakajima appears in my dreams. He and I are standing on the rooftop of the school; we sit beside one another, watching, wishing as stars shoot through the skies, showering the two of us with a shimmering luminescence. Yuto slowly stands up, playfully reaching out his hand, in want of catching a glowing star in his grasp. I gently place my hands on his shoulders, protectively, instinctively, and, as if by magic, he is able to pluck a shooting star out from the darkness, his smile illuminating in the natural radiance. I smile back in wonderment, amazed at what miracles our simple touch can bring.
~~
Rage.
My brows furrow; anger glowers on my expression. I am assigned to spar with Keito, and just seeing the older boy throws me into a fit of despairing anger. How dare you hurt my precious Yuto! I desperately want to cry out in anguish. But I don’t want to break my poor Yuto’s innocent heart… especially not in front of the entire class, all spectators to the match between Keito and me - a battle I fight to protect my love.
My mind thinks back to when I had last been assigned to spar with Yuto. In contrast, he and I were both gentle in our strokes, our lighthearted giggles echoing in my memory as hot tears begin to sting in my eyes from the reminiscence. Biting back, my focus strays from Keito, and in that instant, he knocks me down to the floor.
I immediately stand myself up, determined.
I will not lose to him.
~~
I scowl as Keito comes up to me after class. Practically emotionless in his words, he says quietly, “I don’t know what you’re being so depressed about, but my little brother told me… he likes you.”
Just as the words exit his lips, Yuto walks by, or rather, is pulled over. His cheeks color with a reddening blush, and he waves shyly at me before turning to avert my eyes. Confusion and surprise overcome my thoughts. A timid smile creeps itself onto my lips as I realize who Keito’s brother actually is.
He is Yuto Nakajima.
Running over to Yuto, he and I smile awkwardly at each other, our gazes too shy to meet one another. Finally, taking a deep breath, I envelope Yuto’s thin frame into my arms, hugging his chest gently to mine as he rests his head softly onto my shoulder, the feeling of his real touch both comforting and exhilarating.
“Can you… let me love you?” He murmurs softly.
“I can,” I whisper back, his simple question drowning my heart in bliss. “For you, Yuto, anything you ask of me, my answer will always be… I can.”
~~~
A/N: My first Yamajima fic! ^^ Written for himeluvzu~ yays! :3 I hope you didn't get tired of waiting for so long... gomen ne!! And I really hope you like it!! :) Based on the music video Evan Yo - I Can, a must-watch! Thank you so much to my friend (haha you know who you are..) for introducing me to Evan Yo, and for helping me translate the talking parts in the vid!! ^^ I love it so much! <3