Music of Life - Seventh Movement
~人生の音楽 ♪~
~Jinsei no Ongaku~
Seventh Movement: Desires
Opening his hand to look down into his palm, Ryutaro gingerly picked up the note Daiki had managed to pass to him before he had been hurried away by the crowd. The scrap of paper looked as if it had been freshly torn off a corner of a notebook, its edges ripped messily, and the paper itself was crinkled and folded into fourths.
[Open this after you get home]
Reading the words scrawled on the outermost fold, Ryutaro stuffed the note into his pocket. He decided to respect Daiki’s directions, his heart wildly deciding to pick up speed.
The rest of the day flew by in a blur. Ryutaro could no longer focus on anything other than the slip of paper resting peacefully in his pocket, as if it were mocking his jerking heart. He wanted so desperately to open it, to see what Daiki had written. But instead, he waited.
That afternoon, as soon as Ryutaro had rushed home, he immediately threw his backpack to the floor and fished Daiki’s note out of his pocket. Taking a deep breath, he slowly unfolded the creases.
His eyes skimming over the hurriedly scribbled words of the senior, Ryutaro’s heart skipped a beat, his cheeks coloring with a wave of hot pink flush.
Hey Ryu, sorry if I haven’t been able to reach you lately, but before it becomes to late, I just wanted to say, it was nice meeting you, and if you ever want to talk to me whenever I seem too busy, my phone number is: ###
Hope to see you soon! - Daiki
The wording was kind of awkward, and the rushed handwriting was a little hard to read, but even still, Ryutaro smiled. Sh-should I call him…? I don’t want to seem too… eager. But I guess… I am, after all. Ryu laughed wryly at his own foolishness. Pulling out his phone, he entered Daiki into his contacts, cherishing every second, as he begun to realize Daiki had just willfully opened a gateway to him, one that would allow their friendship to grow. Taking another deep breath before he plunged, Ryutaro began to type his first short message.
[Hey, it’s Ryu ^^]
[Oh hey, Ryu! Glad to hear from you :)]
[Haha yeahh, thanks for giving me your number, by the way XD]
[Oh sure, no problem. But anyway, Ryu, I wanted to tell you, I can’t finish those cookies, they’re too good T.T…]
[Hahaa thanks…? xD I’m glad you like them!]
[Of course! I can’t remember when the last time was that I had cookies this yummy before… X3]
The smile on Ryutaro’s expression widened, hearing Daiki’s praise. But in fear of embarrassment, Ryutaro changed the subject before they began to linger on the matter any longer.
[Hahaa so how do you think we did at sectionals, Daiki?]
[We did well :) But I’m sorry if I seemed uptight today during sectionals… I just want to make sure we focus on our work, as opposed to slacking off… ^^;;]
[Of course ^^ That’s completely understandable]
[^^ Hahaha I was afraid you would start hating me or thinking I was weird or something, because of my suddenly changed behavior… XD]
Reading this, Ryutaro immediately knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to refute Daiki, to tell him he could never hate the most genial boy in the world. But he held himself back. I don’t want to come off as too… serious? I can’t describe it… but still, I don’t want Daiki to know I like him, either… Unless…
[I would never hate you, Daiki]
[Aww thanks Ryu, you’re so nice… ^^ I could never hate you either]
After reading through the first time, without any hesitation, Ryutaro’s eyes went back and reread the text, again and again, his happiness heightening until Daiki’s simple words echoed repeatedly in his mind, to be forever embedded within the depths of his memories.
~~~~~
“Kota… is there something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong, Kei,” Kota answered placidly.
“Is there something you want to talk about, something you’re having difficulties with?” Kei persisted, certain that something was the matter.
Kota stopped to ponder for a moment, then replied simply, “…No.”
“Don’t lie to me…” Kei whispered, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s stiff body.
Silence was Kota’s only reply.
Within the next second, the older boy had pulled out of the embrace; his eyes refused to meet Kei’s horrified gaze as he wordlessly walked away.
Kota, what’s wrong? What are you hiding something from me? Kei thought back to the call Kota had ignored and the text he had failed to answer. Why are you distancing from me…? Kei frowned. No… But I can’t doubt Kota… I’m sure I can trust him.
Although he told himself this, Kei struggled to smother a strange feeling of suspicion that was sneaking, delving into the crevices of his heart. His knees wobbled as he slowly sat himself down in his seat at the head of the flute section. All of a sudden, as if jolting him awake from this state of insecurity, a cheerful, bright voice broke through Kei’s conscious attention.
”Thanks for helping me with my flute’s head joint problem before,” Yuri Chinen smiled as he nodded his thanks.
“Sure, no problem,” Kei replied, snapping out of his thoughts. “I’m glad we were able to get everything settled, after all that trouble,” he smiled.
Chinen winced, hearing Kei’s words. I’m really sorry about that!” he bowed slightly in apology.
Kei immediately urged him to stand straight. “No need to apologize,” he insisted. “It wasn’t your fault. Accidents happen to everyone.” He tried grinning encouragingly.
Chinen merely nodded.
“So… how do you like the advanced ensemble?” Kei asked casually, trying to lighten the darkened mood.
“It’s really fun,” Chinen smiled. “The pieces are challenging, but they’re also exciting, yet so beautiful…” he sighed dreamily. “I just love getting carried away by the music, you know what I mean?”
Kei nodded. “It’s the best feeling there is, isn’t it? For me, the second best would definitely be the sense of accomplishment you get after you finally learn to play difficult pieces like these. I just feel proud to know I am the one who is creating this beautiful melody.”
Chinen nodded back in fervent agreement. “The best feelings… even better than… love?” he wondered aloud.
“I think so,” Kei grinned sheepishly. “But don’t tell my boyfriend I said that.”
Chinen giggled. “Don’t worry; I won’t.” He sighed absentmindedly once more. “But you’re so lucky, being in a relationship with someone you love.”
Kei smiled nostalgically, thinking back to all the blissful memories he had shared with Kota. All from the past, none of them recent. Shaking away the forlorn feeling from his mind, Kei tried directing the conversation toward Chinen.
“Do you have someone you love right now, Chinen?” He inquired curiously.
The younger boy grinned shyly. “I… may…”
Kei’s smile tainted with mischief. “Maybe?”
“Maybe.” Chinen replied in a lighthearted, singsong tone.
“It’s a blissful feeling, isn’t it?” Kei patted Chinen on his shoulder gently.
The younger boy nodded back, smiled up at the senior. Kei struggled to suppress an unfamiliar emptiness vacated within him. This bliss… why do I feel like its suddenly missing?
~~~~~
“Keito~” Yuto sang out happily, bouncing up and down as he skipped over to his seat next to the older boy.
“What?” Keito asked, wondering why he had been called suddenly.
“Keito!” Yuto grinned widely, poking his arm over and over again until Keito shooed his finger away.
“What’s up?” Keito questioned, becoming a little agitated.
“Nothing~” Yuto replied. “Absolutely nothing is wrong! I just felt like calling your name! Keito, Keito, Keito, Keito…”
“Are you feeling alright, Yuto?” Keito interrupted, unsure what was going on with his friend.
“Yup! I’m feeling perfectly great!” Yuto smiled falsely behind a shielded, hidden gaze.
Keito frowned and turned away.
Something’s changed about him… he thought, puzzled.
For your happiness, Keito, Yuto decided, his heart clenching as the words slowly emerged in his mind. I’ll go on ignorantly, living in this state of naive oblivion, pretending as if nothing is wrong…
~~~~~
“You did WHAT?!” Chinen gasped.
“Shh!!” Ryosuke hastily clamped his hand over Chinen’s gaping mouth. “Don’t shout so loud!” he hissed.
“B-But you,” Chinen whimpered, his voice muffled, his eyes wide.
Ryosuke put a finger to his own lips, “Shh!!” he insisted, his cheeks burning red hot in embarrassment as he signaled for Chinen to stop calling attention to their conversation. Quietly, the younger boy nodded; Ryosuke lowered his hand back down to his side.
Chinen breathed softly, “Your first kiss…?”
Shyly, Ryosuke nodded. His eyes remained unreadable, shadowed behind his long, dark bangs. “I… didn’t even really mean to,” he murmured.
“Were you… f-forced to?” Chinen asked, with fear in his eyes.
“Yes… but no,” Ryosuke answered softly, biting his lip in uncertainty. “I didn’t want to… but at the same time, I think I… I w-wanted to.”
Dumbfounded by his friend’s vague and incomprehensible answer, Chinen could only stare back in speechlessness, trying unsuccessfully to study Ryosuke’s expression to understand what thoughts could possibly be crossing his mind, causing the older boy such extraordinary confliction.
“Who?” was all he had to whisper to make Ryosuke’s heartbeat skyrocket.
Turning away, Ryosuke couldn’t help keep a stupid, dreamy grin from spreading on his smile.
“You enjoyed it, didn’t you?” a familiar dark voice asked from behind the two friends. Chinen’s eyes widened. He turned to see the boy who had made his heat flutter standing before them - Yuya Takaki.
“Didn’t you?” Yuya repeated after what seemed like an eternity of silence had wrapped tightly, squeezing the air around them, his words echoing in both Chinen and Ryosuke’s minds. Chinen, out of horror and astonishment, made no reply. Ryosuke, out of denial, gave no answer. He did not want to admit the pleasure to himself; his mind was adamant in his commitment to Daiki. However, his heart had already made the decision for him.
Yuya grimaced, waiting impatiently in the stillness. “Come on,” he sighed. Grasping Ryosuke’s hand into his own, he pulled the junior away from Chinen and into an empty practice room. Ryosuke desperately wanted to fight back, to escape, but at the same time, he didn’t. He willingly allowed himself to be led away, ignoring Chinen’s wide-eyed look of shock.
Yuya locked the door behind him once Ryosuke had followed inside. Without turning on the lights, the two were driven relentlessly into the darkness.
“Why won’t you answer me?” Yuya asked softly, his voice reverberating off the soundproof walls.
“I-I…” I can’t. Ryosuke was stifled, suffocating in the emptiness. His mind was helpless, vulnerable, confused.
All of a sudden, he found Yuya’s arms trapping him, one on either side of his trembling body, pushing him backward into the makeshift night until Ryosuke’s spine abruptly made contact with the wall. A surge of Yuya’s hot breath collided with Ryosuke’s own, shallow, uneven, uncontrolled.
Ryosuke’s eyes flittered around nervously as he felt the older boy’s warmth press closer and closer.
“Do you… want me…” Yuya’s voice whispered darkly into Ryosuke’s ear. “…to stop?”
Ryosuke still had no voice to answer; his dry throat, his weak body, everything about him was completely out of his control.
The continued silence irked Yuya. “Fine. I’ll stop,” he muttered, a flicker of bitter resentment burned in his words. A wave of cold disappointment washed over Ryosuke as he felt the older boy’s warmth pull away. His climax of excitement, arousal, and anticipation, collapsed.
“W-Wait!” he cried, reaching out blindly in the darkness to wrap his arms around Yuya, clinging to the older boy’s stronger, sturdy body. It was closer than Ryosuke had imagined. His forehead buried into Yuya’s chest.
“D-Don’t… Don’t stop,” he stammered, his cheeks burning, mere millimeters from Yuya’s heart, whose rapid beating he could feel matching exactly to his own.
“Are you sure?” Yuya asked; his emotions masked. He lifted his hand and tenderly fondled Ryosuke’s cheek, caressing the younger boy’s smooth skin as he felt Ryosuke nod his hesitant assent.
In the darkness, Yuya could feel the heat emulating from Ryosuke’s reddening cheek from under his fingers’ gentle touch, making his own heart skip a beat, shy from the younger boy’s embarrassment.
“Tell me…” Yuya murmured, craving only one more taste; he deliberately traced Ryosuke’s lips with his finger in the dark. “…if you don’t want this.” Breathing out the last words, with the remnants of his courage, Yuya plunged in, closing the distance between their soft lips.
~~~
A/N: Wow my browser is being really... weird... so I had to post using like two separate windows on different browsers and it was really complicated >< arghhh this just made posting so much more difficult... o.O Hopefully I can get it fixed soon... I'm really sorry if the formatting turns out all weird... I'm new to this browser :(
Anyway, here's the takayama chapter!! *presents with a fanfare* to celebrate the birthday of our amazing YUYA TAKAKI~~ ^^ I hope you enjoy it!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUYAN~!! ^^ From a cheerful wave to a nonchalant, carefree smile, every single thing you do always manages to make me smile :) No matter how many birthdays pass (21 now... o.o), I know you will always carry that same innocent childish laugh around with you, along with that sort of hyper, yet laid back, cool (like your amazingness in Gokusen), yet goofy (like a sweet, adorable child) personality of yours. Thank you so much... for just simply being you. I can't help but love you! X3 Rest assured, your sweetness and kindness will never go unrecognized, and your birthday will always be beloved by all :) Although this year, your special day has unfortunately fallen following the great tragedy of natural disasters, your birthday reminds us all that even through all the pain, life must persevere on. Even in days when so many lives are endangered, shattered, and lost, it was only 21 years ago that your life was born. Each new day presents its own sadness, horror, and blessing. But through all the hardship and tears, I really truly hope you found some time today to celebrate yourself. You deserve it. Never let anyone tell you otherwise... I wish you the very best, and again, otanjoubi omedetou, ba-ka-ki~ ^^
oh, and if anyone hasn't seen this yet, WATCH IT!!