Music of Life - Ninth Movement
~人生の音楽 ♪~
~Jinsei no Ongaku~
Ninth Movement: Restoration
Ryosuke yelled in frustration, hurtling his pencil across the room, watching through irate eyes as it splintered against the wall, the broken pieces plummeting to the floor. He was still in the middle of finishing his homework for the night, but it wasn’t his homework he was angry at it. It was his own thoughts.
Get away! Ryosuke hollered at the image of the person that was relentlessly invading his mind. For once, it was no longer Daiki Arioka, it was Yuya.
His kiss… the feeling of his touch still lingers on my lips. The sweetness, the softness, the tenderness… it’s as if I could still taste him now. His breath, his fingers, his hands, I can still feel him tingling on my skin. His caressing touch, his body’s warmth, his seductive whispers… these sensations, I can’t seem to stop thinking about them. It’s like I… I want him. I want his love. I want to give him my heart.
A strange, unheard voice within him told Ryosuke that if he did, he could be sure that Yuya would protect his love for ever. He could trust Yuya with his heart.
But…
“What about Daiki?” Ryosuke asked aloud for no one but himself to hear. In the nothingness, silence came as his only reply. He had no answer. He just had a question.
Do I… still love him? Ryosuke lifted his melancholic gaze upward in a sweeping glance across his room, his eyes landing on a photo frame on his desk, a frozen scene of the joy of their past. The memory of when he and Daiki had been on their last date together, the picture of his own happiness, his own smile wide and bright, his own arms wrapped tightly around Daiki’s waist.
But for the first time, Ryosuke noticed there was a foreign, strained hollowness in Daiki’s frozen eyes.
Ryosuke bit his lip. In order to move on… I just need to know one thing…
~~~~~
Daiki fumbled around in his pockets. Hastily, he fished out his house keys and stuffed the correct key into the lock to open his front door; the keys jingled in his grip, serving as a rude reminder for him to hurry as he rushed inside and grabbed the box of Ryutaro’s cookies. The few cookies that were left rattled against the sides of the box in the emptiness, the frantic crashing that matched that of his beating heart. Why did I have to run into a traffic jam on the bus ride home?! I need to get back to Ryu! What happens if he before he wakes up before I get back?! What happens if I’m not there for him!? I-
“Daiki?” a familiar voice softly called out as soon as the senior stepped out his front door.
“Ryosuke,” he breathed, turning to see the younger boy step out of the growing shadows to meet him in the late afternoon; the sun was just beginning its gradual descent, splashing the darkening sky with a spellbindingly colorful array of stunning natural beauty.
“What are you doing here?” Daiki asked uncertainly, his mind still running towards thoughts of Ryutaro.
“I… I wanted to talk to you… about us.” Ryosuke answered quietly, his dark eyes locked heavily on Daiki’s gaze.
“Ryosuke, I’m really sorry, but I have to-”
“Don’t go,” Ryosuke reached out and grasped Daiki’s arm, pulling him back before he could turn away. “Please, this is the last thing I’ll ever ask of you, Daiki. Please, don’t go,” he begged, tightening his grip on Daiki’s sleeve.
“I…”
“Please,” Ryosuke repeated once more, despondency shining in his desperate eyes.
Daiki frowned slightly, but nodded, indicating he would stay. “What is it you want me to say, Ryosuke?” he murmured quietly. “I thought we… we’re through,” he stated flatly, not bothering to find any words to serve as a better explanation; his eyes turned downward to the ground.
Ryosuke’s heart stung at Daiki’s blunt remark. “Can I just ask you one thing, Daiki?”
The older boy lifted his gaze to meet the junior’s, whose eyes refused to falter, but were beginning to redden with tears.
“Did you ever really love me?” Ryosuke asked softly, his voice barely a whisper. His breath hitched as the words escaped from his lips, in dread of the senior’s answer.
Daiki’s eyes widened in dismay; he realized that at this point, he could no longer lie. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and answered honestly, for the first time. “…No.”
With this one word, Ryosuke felt all his inner emotional ties to Daiki being unfurled, unraveling his heart, liberating him from what had been an eternity’s worth of attachment to his perfect ex-boyfriend. Ryosuke sighed deeply, glinting tears beginning to well in the corners of his eyes.
Daiki merely watched as guilt and shame began to inundate his own mind. Gently, he touched his hand to Ryosuke’s cheek, using his thumb to lovingly wipe away any traces of the watery sadness flowing from the younger boy’s eyes. “I’m really sorry,” he whispered again. This time, his words were flooded with sincerity and genuine remorse. “I should have-”
“Don’t be sorry,” Ryosuke smiled softly. “Daiki, you were the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Without you, I would never have experienced what innocent happiness truly is, even though you never really accepted me into your heart. Looking back now, I think deep down, even I realized this, but I was just too selfish to admit that my bliss was only bringing you pain. No matter what, I never would have wanted to hurt you, but by ignoring your feelings, that’s exactly what I did. I’m the one who should be sorry.” Ryosuke murmured, bowing his head down in apology so that his bangs cast his eyes into shadow.
But instead of an answer, Daiki pulled Ryosuke’s fragile figure into his arms. Neither boy spoke, the shock of their closeness stifling any thoughts of protest from either of their minds. Daiki didn’t even know what he was doing. He just knew he needed to comfort Ryosuke, to tell the younger boy that he had absolutely nothing to feel sorry for, to apologize once more for his own actions, to protect Ryosuke from any further heartbreak.
Time suspended as they lost consciousness of the world surrounding them in thoughts of one another. Ryosuke allowed himself to melt in Daiki’s warmth, to breathe in the older boy’s sweet tenderness one last time, to enjoy his last hug with the senior he had spent so many years loving, and to sever any remaining devotions he held towards Daiki Arioka, who would forevermore be just another senior to him, or perhaps, even beyond that, an eternal friend.
Even though a simple hug was the closest their bodies had ever been together, this embrace felt as if it was instead splitting them farther apart than ever before.
“Thank you, Daiki,” Ryosuke whispered as he finally pulled away from his familiar warmth that would very soon become unfamiliar to his body. “…for everything.”
“For you,” Daiki smiled. “I would do anything.”
“For a friend, you mean?” Ryosuke smiled back.
“For a friend,” Daiki repeated softly, nodding in encouragement.
~~~
A/N: Ryuu's birthday is coming soon!! ahhh! I have to post something good on his birthday! *nervous* X___X So I just posted this chapter to get this scene out of the way... I'm sorry it was kind of rushed, but I tried my best!! (since its the last of the ariyama.. XD) but I hope you still like it! :) And just to let you know, I'm about to finish this fic soon, so everything's going to start wrapping up~ ^^ yays!