Music of Life - Tenth Movement
~人生の音楽 ♪~
~Jinsei no Ongaku~
Tenth Movement: Lies and Secrets Revealed
They… hugged. Ryutaro’s heart sank in an abyss of dejection. I guess… there is something going on between Daiki and Ryosuke… Why wasn’t I ever smart enough to see it before!? Ryutaro wanted to slap himself, but his arms were occupied with supporting his weight on the crutches balanced delicately under his grasp.
As they unnoticeably walked slowly past the two boys that were being held so closely in each other’s arms, from across the street, Ryutaro’s eyes clouded with stinging tears.
“Ryu, is there something wrong? Do you need help?” Keito asked, worried that Ryutaro was suffering physical pain from his outer injuries.
The younger boy shook his head.
“The doctor said you were free to go since they finished putting on your cast… I don’t think your leg’s supposed to be hurting anymore…”
“It doesn’t hurt,” Ryutaro muttered quietly, his words partly a lie. He was, in fact, hurting, but it wasn’t because of his leg.
~~~~~
“Ryu! What happened yesterday?” Daiki asked as soon as he had walked into the band room; it was still early enough so that none of the students other than Ryutaro had yet arrived. By time the senior had gotten back to the hospital the night before, the receptionist had told him that Ryutaro had already checked out, having been released with the doctor’s consent. But Daiki hadn’t heard from Ryutaro since.
Accordingly, he was worried.
Instead of being grateful for Daiki’s concern, however, Ryutaro merely frowned and turned his back to the older boy, disdainful of what he perceived to be Daiki’s false show of care.
“Ryu, what’s wrong?” Daiki wondered, hurt by his lack of acknowledgement.
“Don’t pretend like you actually care about me,” Ryutaro snapped, not even bothering to turn back around.
“Ryu,” Daiki persisted, grabbing onto Ryutaro’s shoulder to get the younger boy to turn around and face him.
“Don’t touch me,” Ryu complained bitterly, throwing Daiki’s grip off.
Stunned, the older boy was rendered speechless by Ryutaro’s aberrant behavior. He had no idea why the junior was acting so strange… or maybe he did.
“If it’s because I wasn’t there when you woke up… or if you blame me for your injuries, I understand,” he said finally. “I’m really sorry, Ryu.”
“It was an accident.” Ryutaro stated plainly.
“Then what is it? Why are you angry at me?” Daiki pleaded to know the answer.
Ryutaro frowned. “You really don’t know?” he murmured in a low, indecipherable voice.
“No… tell me,” Daiki begged.
“Well, maybe if you thought about it for a second, you’d realize what you did was wrong!” Ryutaro erupted, his frustration boiling over as he realized the older boy had completely failed to notice the immense amount of pain he had caused him. “For one thing, you told Kei that I was ‘just another junior’ and that I mean nothing to you! I thought I would hold at least a little more significance in your heart, but apparently you don’t even value our friendship at all! You saw me fall down the stairs, and you didn’t even stay by my side long enough to see me to the hospital! And you just told me that you understand that I could possibly blame you for my accident, but you didn’t even care enough about me to actually go to the hospital to apologize! Instead, I saw, you were too busy being all intimate with one of my best friends! Do you realize my heart aches when I witness you do these things? Do you realize how much I agonize from your apathy? Don’t you understand how much I yearn for your care?” Ryutaro sighed, expelling his inner turmoil before continuing.
“Don’t you get it Daiki? Beyond everything, you have hurt me in ways I can’t even explain, but now you’re telling me that you don’t even notice how much I am suffering on the inside… because of you. And you ask me why I’m angry at you…” Ryutaro scoffed, but realizing what he had just said, he froze. Horror paled on his countenance. I-I practically just confessed to Daiki that I love him… NO! What am I doing?!! He was about to attempt covering up for his mistake when suddenly Daiki spoke up.
“What are you talking about?” he asked quietly. “Everything you just said about me… none of it is true,” he murmured softly.
Ryutaro stole a confused glance at Daiki, the older boy’s serious expression was unfamiliar to him. His gaze captivated the younger boy, entrancing him to turn around slowly, portraying his willingness to hear what Daiki had to say.
“I don’t know what you think you saw, but honestly, I was just comforting Ryosuke yesterday. He finally broke his bond to me; he was letting go of our past, but the memories still brought him pain as he began to discard them, so I hugged him… to comfort him… like an older brother would.
“And Ryu, I did go to the hospital yesterday, I did follow you there. I was by your side the entire time. That is, until I decided to go back to my house to bring over the cookies you had baked for me so we that could share them together when you woke up. I thought it would be a sweet way for you to regain your strength, and I wanted to let you know how much your cookies actually mean to me.
“But on my way back home, I ran into a traffic jam, and when I finally reached my house, Ryosuke was there waiting for me. I had intended to reject him, to hurry back to you, but he begged me to stay; the hurt in his eyes told me that something was very wrong, and I had to listen to him. I had to help him. Don’t you understand?”
“But then…” Ryutaro cut in abruptly. “Why did Keito tell me you hadn’t been there at all?”
“I was there, I promise you!” Daiki insisted.
“But why should I believe you?” Ryutaro asked quietly. “Keito was the only one that I saw when I woke up. He was the only one I know for sure was there, and he said you weren’t.”
Daiki grimaced. “I don’t know why Keito lied to you… unless…” His eyes widened in sudden realization. “Go ask Keito why he lied to you. If he did so for the reason I think he did… if you ask him not to lie to you, he’ll tell you the truth.”
~~~~~
“Keito, can I talk to you for a second?” Ryutaro asked quietly, his eyes unreadable.
Keito’s heart skipped a beat, in excited wonderment of what the younger boy wanted to say to him. Nodding earnestly, he followed Ryutaro into a practice room, holding the door open to allow the boy for whom he cared so tenderly to enter more easily on his crutches. “So what’s up, Ryu?” he asked casually once the lights had flickered on and Ryutaro had settled himself on a nearby chair.
The younger boy frowned, unsure of how he would phrase his question without sounding too hurtful or ungrateful. Sighing, he decided it would be best to just directly ask.
“Did you lie to me?”
Keito’s eyes widened as fear began to work its way, delving into his conscience, draining his complexion of color.
He replied anxiously, “N-No…”
Ryutaro grimaced. Did Daiki lie to me then? He began to doubt the older boy’s words. Closing his eyes, he tried once again. “Keito,” he began quietly. Hearing his name being murmured so quietly, so gently by the younger boy’s soft, sweet voice sent of rush of red blush to Keito’s cheeks.
“Yesterday…” Ryutaro continued, not taking notice of the abrupt return of flush to Keito’s countenance. “…Was Daiki really not there?” he questioned hesitantly.
“I…”
Ryutaro bit his lip, deciding to take Daiki’s advice. “Don’t lie to me… please,” he breathed.
Keito’s chest clenched at Ryutaro’s feeble plea. He couldn’t resist giving in to the vulnerability of the younger boy’s words; his mind was bursting at the seams, consumed with guilt. “He… was.”
Ryutaro lifted his gaze hopefully to meet Keito’s eyes shrouded in shame.
“I’m sorry,” Keito mumbled, his heart becoming heavy as his lie was slowly, tortuously torn apart.
Unexpectedly, rather than scorn him, Ryutaro smiled. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”
Keito nodded back shyly.
A brief silence ensued, engulfing them, only to be broken as Ryutaro asked quietly, “But why? Why did you lie?”
Keito couldn’t find an answer. “I…”
“You still don’t trust me? You’re still going to lie to me?” Ryutaro asked softly, his voice marred with dejection.
“N-No, it’s not that,” Keito insisted hastily, his self-frustration escalating in his mind. Should I… tell him?
“Tell me,” Ryutaro urged, answering Keito’s silent, unspoken question. “Please, I want you to know you can trust me. You stood by my side when I was helpless and hurt in an act of pure benevolence, yet you refuse tell me why you cruelly lied so bluntly to my face?”
“I… I-I think I…” Keito stammered, nervous tension swirling in the crashing whirlpools of his mind.
“I like you.”
Immediately after his words had been so weakly voiced, Keito shut his eyes in fear of the younger boy’s reaction, whereas Ryutaro’s own eyes widened.
Finally, Ryutaro spoke. “I-I didn’t expect that…” he admitted softly.
Keito winced.
“Not that I’m not touched by your feelings… I am,” Ryutaro hurriedly added.
A warm smile brightened on Keito’s expression, his mind surged with renewed hope.
“But my heart… it belongs to someone else…” Ryutaro murmured with uncertainty.
Keito’s happiness, inundating just milliseconds before, immediately vanished, being snatched away. It left behind only a ghost of its former presence to mock the emptiness that remained. A hazy fog of silence draped over the two, suffocating them as the low thunder of disorganized melodies began to rumble, seeping through the walls from the band room; the class was beginning to warm up.
“I’m sorry…” it was now Ryutaro’s turn to apologize.
Suddenly, just like Ryutaro had crashed in on Daiki and Kei’s conversation the day before, a flustered Yuto Nakajima collapsed into the room as his legs had stumbled over each other in his failed effort to eavesdrop of the two’s conversation.
“Yuto!?”
The lanky boy hurriedly recomposed himself, a dark wave of red swept over his face, drowning his cheeks in the heat of embarrassment. He desperately wracked his mind for an explanation for his uninvited entrance. But before he could manage to form the words to speak, he carried himself, running away, knocking a crash of stands down in the process.
When the two were alone once more, Ryutaro began to laugh, lightly at first, before turning quickly to stifle his outburst.
“…I think… Keito, your heart belongs with someone else, too… a someone named Yuto Nakajima.”
Keito was taken aback. “W-What?” He had never imagined… Yuto…? No way…
“Please, go to him, take care of him,” Ryutaro insisted, putting his hand on Keito’s arm in a gesture for him to follow the fleeting boy. “You guys are good friends, aren’t you? Even if you couldn’t find it within yourself to love him back, shouldn’t you at least check to make sure he’s okay?” Ryutaro inquired gently.
“Ryu, what are you talking about?” Keito asked hesitantly, “How would you even know he l-loves me?”
“I…I just do. Trust me, remember?” Ryutaro insisted.
“I-I do! I just don’t even know if I could ever l-love him… I-I mean… I’ve never thought of Y-Yuto that way…” a touch of pink began to graze the older boy’s cheeks as he stammered.
Ryutaro smiled. “Try.”
Somehow, with this one word, Keito forgot all about his confession to the younger boy from mere moments ago. His thoughts were now frenzied with Yuto. Memories of their closeness brought tears to his eyes, but he wiped the droplets away quickly, inexplicably smiling as he did so, thinking of Yuto’s adorably carefree laugh, his eternal optimism and encouragement… his friendship which had now unexpectedly turned to love. You even gave me advice on how to win my love for someone else… Why didn’t you just tell me to open my eyes and look to win it from you?
A brief moment of indecision flashed before Keito’s eyes.
“Go, find him,” Ryutaro urged.
To his delight, Keito nodded.
~~~
A/N: Ahh! I know I'm like a million times late on this, but my internet has been so unstable lately, I can't get anything posted, i tried like ten billion times over the past WEEK, and this is just barely done now! I can't write much, because I don't have much time until it'll break my connection again... >< but I'm really sorry about not being able to reply to comments/messages lately, I will get to it as soon as I can! gahh I feel really bad for saying this so late, but Happy Birthday Ryutaro! XD Ryuu has always been one of the members I admire the most, since he's the closest to my age, but lately, I really love watching him mature in his performances.. Our adorable hamster is growing up!! X3 arghh I don't even have time to post a proper message for him, but still, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter! It's almost nearing the end.. :)
