Music of Life - Twelfth Movement
~人生の音楽 ♪~
~Jinsei no Ongaku~
Twelfth Movement: Sleeping with a Smile
Do you realize my heart aches when I witness you do these things? Do you realize how much I agonize from your apathy? Don’t you understand how much I yearn for your care?
Beyond everything, you have hurt me in ways I can’t even explain, but now you’re telling me that you don’t even notice how much I am suffering on the inside… because of you.
Daiki shook Ryutaro’s echoing words out of his mind. He didn’t know why the younger boy had said them… it made it seem as if Ryutaro actually was in love with him…?
But that couldn’t be.
Don't make another one of the juniors fall in love with you again.. I see it in your new section member. His eyes reflect even more.. a tender care, compassion...
It couldn’t be.
Daiki reassured himself there couldn’t be anything between Ryutaro and himself. But even Kei seemed to notice that something was different about Ryutaro. Or maybe he was just thinking too much. Kei tended to do that a lot.
Ryu… you don’t actually love me, do you? Or is it that I… I love you?
Daiki shook the preposterous question out his head, immediately smiling as he turned to see the very junior that had been stealing his thoughts set his music down on the stand beside him, still using his crutches as support.
“Good morning, Ryu,” Daiki waved casually.
“H-Hi,” Ryutaro waved back timidly before turning to limp away on his crutches. Daiki’s eyes followed along as he watched a young flute player, one of Ryutaro’s friends, he presumed, help the injured boy retrieve his French horn from out of the backroom.
“Hey Daiki, what are you staring at?” Yuya’s voice questioned from beside him.
Daiki abruptly straightened himself in his chair. “Hm? No, nothing’s wrong.”
“Right…” Yuya pressed his mouthpiece to his lips to begin warming up. But as soon as he played his first note, Daiki watched as the older boy paused, lowering his instrument as he touched his lips gently and smiled.
“What’s wrong with your lips, Yuya?” Daiki inquired innocently.
“Hm? No, nothing’s wrong,” Yuya grinned, repeating back his previous answer word for word.
Daiki laughed amusedly. “Right…”
~~~~~
Ten minutes into class, Daiki peered over at Ryutaro, relieved to see that the injured boy was still managing to play with a broken leg. But then again, why wouldn’t he? His leg had nothing to do with his playing… Why am I so worried then? Daiki struggled to supply an answer to his own question.
A couple minutes later, Ryutaro turned at the feeling of someone watching him, but when his eyes landed on Daiki, the older boy turned away.
Silence continued between them, dominating the next ten minutes, and the next after that. At the end of class, Daiki watched in wordless disappointment as the younger boy slowly packed up his instrument, but then asked Yuya to help him return it to the backroom. He watched as Ryutaro then turned to limp away on his crutches in the opposite direction. He watched as the junior stopped every few steps to shake out his arms, looking down at his palms as if examining them for injury. He watched as Ryutaro paused just before exiting the room, rubbing his hands together as if to ease away an unseen pain.
All that day at school, Daiki watched. But after the final bell rang, he stopped waiting.
He took a step forward to meet Ryutaro as the younger boy was about to pass by him in the music suite at the end of the day. “Ryu, are your hands all right?” Daiki asked with a concerned gaze.
“My hands?” Ryutaro wondered why Daiki hadn’t asked about his obvious leg injury like everyone else had instead.
Daiki nodded softly. “Yeah, your hands seem tired… or hurt. It must be difficult carrying your weight around on your crutches. Your muscles probably aren’t used to the extra work yet. Are your hands sore under the strain?”
Ryutaro was surprised to hear the older boy had even considered this, but could do nothing but nod back, consenting to what he had said.
“Then if you want… I could take you home,” Daiki offered with a gentle smile. “So I can at least help you ease the pain in your arms.”
Ryutaro thought for a moment, but then frowned. “I mean… I had planned to take the bus home after school, since my parents don’t come home until later, they wouldn’t be able to pick me up. But now that I think about it… taking the bus on crutches probably isn’t the safest idea,” he admitted. “But how would your walking with me help my arms?” Ryutaro wondered softly.
“I don’t want you to have to go out of your way just for an act of kindness on my part, especially one that wouldn’t really change much. I appreciate your company, Daiki, I really do. The last thing I want is to come off as ungrateful for your help, but the thing is.. I don’t think it would really help…” he answered dejectedly, as if disappointed at himself for declining the offer.
Daiki gulped as he realized Ryutaro’s denseness was going to make him say straight out what he was really offering to do. He took a deep breath.
“I-I could carry you.”
As soon as the words escaped from his lips, Daiki wished he could pull them all back.
“A-Are you serious?” Ryutaro couldn’t believe his ears. “You would do that.. f-for me?” he stammered.
“I…” Daiki’s heart began to pound deafeningly in his ears, warning him against what he so yearned to say. “I-I would do anything for you,” he smiled before his mind could avert him from speaking.
Ryutaro’s cheeks visibly darkened shades of pink as the junior’s eyes began to avoid his, darting from one direction to the next as he tried to comprehend what Daiki had meant by his words.
“I-If you really wouldn’t mind… O-Okay then,” he nodded shyly.
Without giving time for his thoughts to remonstrate, Daiki helped Ryutaro onto his back and practically stumbled over at the unfamiliar feeling of the younger boy’s arms hanging around his shoulders and his legs wrapping around his hips.
“A-Am I too heavy?” Ryutaro breathed fearfully into his ear.
“N-No, you’re just right,” Daiki answered quietly, snaking his arms behind Ryutaro’s torso to envelop him in his warmth.
Every step he took forward, Daiki felt Ryutaro’s body gently press deeper down onto his. The younger boy had rested his head lightly on his shoulder like an angel on a cloud. His breath grazed softly on the side of Daiki’s neck, and his eyes fluttered closed, relaxed by the gentle rocking of Daiki’s footsteps.
At this, Daiki couldn’t help but smile, cherishing every second their bodies shared their warmth. Through their closeness, he could even feel Ryutaro’s heart beating rampantly alongside his own.
I guess I do love you, don’t I?
He couldn’t help but nod.
~~~~~
Once Daiki had reached Ryutaro’s front doorstep, he gently nudged the younger boy awake, asking him for the keys so that he could open the door. Ryutaro complied, handing Daiki the keys he had pulled out from his pocket.
As the door swung open slowly, Daiki timidly entered, unsure of where to let off the boy who had been dozing on his back.
“My room… upstairs… to the left,” Ryutaro murmured sleepily, almost incoherently.
Daiki merely nodded, ascending the steps one by one before opening the door to Ryutaro’s room to let himself inside. “Here, let me drop you off on your bed,” he offered, not waiting for a reply before lowering the junior softly down onto his bed covers. Just as he was about to leave Ryutaro to his sleep, Daiki was stopped by two feeble, pleading words.
“Please… stay…”
The simple request sent a light crimson washing across Daiki’s cheeks, and a strange, unfamiliar airy sensation crept into his stomach. He found himself wanting to obey, but he knew he couldn’t. Instead, he forced a refusal. “I-I can’t. You should get some rest, Ryu. I-I’ll watch over you until you fall asleep, if you want, but I’ll need to get some sleep myself, eventually,” he answered tenderly with a smile.
With a slight frown, Ryutaro slowly sat up in bed. “If you want to sleep…” his eyes lowered once more. “…then sleep… with me.”
~~~~~
Early next morning, Daiki woke up to find his arms wrapped around Ryutaro’s torso, their bodies lying side by side, his hair frazzled and his clothes wrinkled from being worn all through the night. The fresh sunlight streamed in gently from behind the soft curtains hanging over the windows, and the quiet peacefulness of a new morning hung delicately in the air around them. A warm smile emulating the sun spread onto Daiki’s lips as he noticed Ryutaro was still fast asleep, the younger boy’s lips parted slightly as sugary breaths passed delicately in between.
Curiously, Daiki’s heart desired for him to lean in and claim those soft lips as his own, to give up what he guessed would be the junior’s first kiss. Daiki wanted to, but he knew he couldn’t. Not so recklessly. Instead, he simply slowly shifted himself off the bed, accidentally waking Ryutaro in the process.
“Daiki?” Ryutaro yawned, stretching his arms out in contentment as he rubbed his eyes open and smiled sleepily up at the older boy.
“Good morning,” Daiki replied shyly at the sight of Ryutaro’s adorable awakening; he couldn’t explain why, but his heart had begun to race once more.
“G-Good morning,” Ryutaro repeated back, evidently also unsure of what to say.
“Did you sleep well?” Daiki inquired, finally finding a voice to speak.
Ryutaro nodded, not bearing to look away from Daiki’s caring eyes, a slight smile curled at the younger boy’s lips. “You stayed by my side,” he noted with a hesitant happiness.
Daiki couldn’t help himself from giving into his simpleminded but heartfelt admission. “I always will,” he whispered, resisting the urge to outright kiss Ryutaro again, he reached out his arms instead and held Ryutaro’s body in his warmth once more.
Why is it that I don’t want to let go? I want to hold you in my arms; I want to protect you with my life… I can’t ever let go…
~~~
A/N: Daiki's birthday chapter is finally here!! ^^ *whacked for being like A WEEK late* >< I'm really, really, really sorry! *bows profusely AGAIN to dai-chan* I partially blame my internet for being really uncooperative, but it's also my fault, I was out of town during his special day.... gomen! oh, and WARNING: this is an immense dairyu chapter! hopefully he'll forgive me this way? XD *shot* ahh... but anyway, it's time to pay my respects to the AMAZING, LOVABLE, ADORABLE penguin of a member, Daiki Arioka!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (oh my gosh, he's 20 now??! o.o and i'm reminded once again that I'm so late, it's not even excusable.. =__=) But no matter how late, I still must send him my best wishes! :3 At the beginning, to be honest, I didn't really notice dai-chan.. in my eyes, he kind of remained in the background often, and I didn't really bother to pay much close attention to him. But NOW, Daiki is my most favorite member!! X3 Why? Simply because, daiki has this aura about him that makes me smile whenever i see him on screen.. ^^ i love how daiki can still look adorable and cute even though he's in BEST, and the way he's adorably hyper and fun (along with the rest of JUMP, and especially BEST! xD) makes me love how he manages to be so kind and friendly that he seems so close to everyone! kinda like he's the bridge between BEST and SEVEN. ^^ I remember reading somewhere(?) that daiki had been patiently waiting for and anticipating the day when he could finally be in the spotlight, and I'm so very happy to say, his time is finally here! as recently, he has been getting to sing a whole lot more, and hearing daiki's voice just makes me want to smile, too. His voice just so amazingly clear and beautiful~ ^^ on shows, daiki's announcer skills are so lovable and even the way he cheats is so cute! LOL :) and it's really cool how he can sometimes come across as the guiding older brother figure, but sometimes the hyper best friend ^^ he's so ambitious, u can always tell he's trying his best, and his sweet smile just makes me melt.. X3 (but i think i already mentioned that before... XD) well... before I go on obsessing ranting for too long, let me just say again, a very, very, very late HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! to the one and only, Daiki Arioka.
