Straying into my heart - Chapter Seven
Title: Straying into my heart
Author: ayang902
Pairing: Yamada/Chinen
Genre: romance, drama, fluff, au
Rating: PG
Summary: It's no secret to his friends, Yuto and Keito, that Chinen has a crush on Daiki. But when his dreams of being with Daiki are interrupted by one of Daiki's own best friends, Ryosuke Yamada, Chinen can't help but feel annoyed, if not angry at the seemingly indifferent, disrespectful obstacle standing in his way. But once Chinen is forced to get to know him, he starts to realize Ryosuke really is caring, and warm-hearted, and against his own will, Chinen finds himself falling for his new friend.
A/N: I AM FINISHED!! muwahaha (I will now proceed to post all the chapters :D)
Chapter Seven : Unexpected Friends
“Yuri, right?”
I turned at the sound of my name being called. I never would have guessed.
“I'm Kei, remember?” he smiled, waving a hello to me.
Having just run away from my best friends, I really wasn't in the mood to talk with Daiki's best friend. But then again... Ryosuke's face flashed before my eyes, his expression, so hurt, when he told me about Kei.
I nodded to him, “Yes, I remember, and yes, but you can just call me Chinen,” I smiled encouragingly.
He seemed to brighten at my words, “Got it, Chinen.” he grinned broadly. “So what are you up to?”
“Not much,” I lied blandly. He seemed to take the lie pretty well, though, because he didn’t say anything in reply. So instead, I tried to start up a conversation. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Kei smiled.
“This might seem rather random…” but I have to know… I bit my lip, hoping the memory wouldn’t be too painful for him to recall. “The day when we first got assigned our biology partners for our last project… I don’t know if you remember… but did something happen to you that day?” I asked slowly, not wanting to pry too deep too fast.
By his silence, I could only guess that it had been as horrible as Ryosuke had made it seem.
“I’m sorry,” I quickly changed my mind, not wanting Kei to become annoyed with my questioning. “I shouldn’t have asked. I was just wondering why Ryosuke was so angry that day…”
“Ryosuke?” Kei blinked twice, his eyes reflecting clear confusion. “It had nothing to do with Ryosuke…” He sighed softly, a gentle smile curving at his lips. “Ryosuke’s just always too preoccupied with other people’s troubles; he takes them on as his own and disregards his own problems. He’s a little foolishly sympathetic.”
I mumbled softly under my breath, “I never knew that…” Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at him…
“Yeah, it’s a little hard to tell at first,” Kei laughed lightly. “He really means well… But you can never really tell what’s bothering him because of this. He has so many of other people’s problems blurring his thoughts that he can rarely even comprehend his own.”
“He seemed so… serious, though. I’m surprised he would be so worried about something that had nothing to do with him…”
Kei merely shrugged. “It may not seem so at first, but Ryosuke’s really just too nice on the inside… But that day in particular, it was just really bad for me… I should have guessed that Ryosuke would be affected by it,” he sighed once more.
“W-Why?” I stammered almost inaudibly. I was scared to ask, but I just so desperately wanted to understand what was going on.
“To be honest…” Kei’s voice had diminished to a whisper, his eyes turning away from mine. “That day, the boy I loved left me for someone else.”
My gaze fell, realizing I had been prying too far. I don’t have to right to ask Kei to tell me about this… It was then that I realized how much I was hurting him inside, forcing him to unearth the memory.
“I don’t know if you know him… Kota… Kota Yabu.” He bit his lip, the name tumbling out before he could stop himself. He didn’t even look to me for an answer. It was as if Kei couldn’t control himself. The truth just kept slipping out. “The two of us… we had been best friends for years, even before I had met Daiki, and we would always love spending time together… I called him every night before bed and every morning after breakfast. For all these years, I would always show him how much I loved him, loved him with all my heart… but I never directly told him. I thought that he knew, that it was obvious that my heart belonged to him, so obvious that I wouldn’t even have to tell him a word… But then, that day, the day of our biology project, he told me… he told me that he had become someone else’s boyfriend. He told me I was nothing to him.”
Kei stopped, his voice wavering. I didn’t know what to say; I barely knew Kei at all, and I already felt so sorry for him. I didn’t deserve to even be able to listen to him tell me something so personal. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for one of his close friends - Ryosuke - to deal with having to watching Kei in so much pain.
“When I asked him about what would then happen to ‘us’, he merely stated that I had to stop ‘clinging’ to him. He told me that it would only make his boyfriend angry. But he didn’t care at all for how I would feel.”
Kei sighed, releasing his inner tensions. I admired him for being strong enough to hold back his tears. “Unfortunately,” he continued, eyes still downcast. “Ryosuke found me after that, hidden in a bathroom stall, crying. I was pathetic.”
I shook my head fervently. “No, don’t say that,” I insisted, “You did nothing wrong. You were hurt; it only makes sense for you to feel heartbroken.”
Kei merely laughed lightly once more, which only worsened my guilt of making him tell me these things. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have let Ryosuke see me in such a pitiful state.”
“No, no, no…” I could hear myself murmuring the denial over and over again, shaking my head in disbelief. You can’t blame yourself for this…
“Please don’t be mad at Ryosuke because of me,” Kei murmured finally. “He was just being too much of a good friend.”
My chest tightened, hearing Ryosuke’s name once more. My voice could barely whisper, “I didn’t know he could be so caring… Being sad when you’re sad, understanding your pain like it was his own.” The words formed on my lips before I could even realize what I had said. Was I… sympathizing with Ryosuke? But I thought… he couldn’t be trusted…
Kei nodded gently. “I’m sure he didn’t really mean to be mad at you; he was just venting my stress.”
“He didn’t mean to…” the words echoed in my mind.
Could I really be so wrong about Ryosuke?
~~
My footsteps thudded emptily against the cold, concrete floor. The hallway began to fill with people as lunch finally ended. I had walked Kei all the way to his next classroom, and even then, he managed to hold back the tears. I could never be that strong. I gave him a hug before leaving, telling him again that he couldn’t blame himself. Unexpectedly, my words didn’t feel hollow, as words from strangers tend to be. But I supposed that after hearing someone divulge their darkest secret to you, it would be hard to say that you were still strangers. Kei and I couldn’t be strangers any longer.
I couldn’t help but feel happy that I was making a new friend, but at the same time, knowing what Kei had gone through, my heart stung with pain. Then, I realized that although I thought of Kei as a rival for Daiki before, he never was. I wanted to tell myself a burden had been lifted, that I was finally free to be with Daiki, to spend time with him and love him and devote my heart to him without having to worry about competition. But somehow…
Ryosuke’s face flashed before my eyes, and I stopped myself. Why… Why now?! When I’m finally have the chance to win Daiki… I stop myself.
I shook my head quickly. No… there’s no way… I’ve had a crush on Daiki for so long… But that was before I felt Ryosuke’s lips on my cheek, his arms around my body, his hand holding my hand. But it can’t be… I can’t be changing my heart… not for… him…
I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, trying to clear my mind. Ryosuke is just appearing in my thoughts because… he also likes Daiki, doesn’t he? I sighed, realizing my momentary freedom was snatched away once more. I’m not free, because there’s still competition, right? This heaviness in my chest, that’s from feeling unworthy of Daiki, isn’t it? Kei insisted Ryosuke’s so much of a better person… a better friend…
“But he said he loves me,” I found myself whispering aloud, unable to contain the words.
Ryosuke loves me…? that can’t… it can’t be true.
Author: ayang902
Pairing: Yamada/Chinen
Genre: romance, drama, fluff, au
Rating: PG
Summary: It's no secret to his friends, Yuto and Keito, that Chinen has a crush on Daiki. But when his dreams of being with Daiki are interrupted by one of Daiki's own best friends, Ryosuke Yamada, Chinen can't help but feel annoyed, if not angry at the seemingly indifferent, disrespectful obstacle standing in his way. But once Chinen is forced to get to know him, he starts to realize Ryosuke really is caring, and warm-hearted, and against his own will, Chinen finds himself falling for his new friend.
A/N: I AM FINISHED!! muwahaha (I will now proceed to post all the chapters :D)
Chapter Seven : Unexpected Friends
“Yuri, right?”
I turned at the sound of my name being called. I never would have guessed.
“I'm Kei, remember?” he smiled, waving a hello to me.
Having just run away from my best friends, I really wasn't in the mood to talk with Daiki's best friend. But then again... Ryosuke's face flashed before my eyes, his expression, so hurt, when he told me about Kei.
I nodded to him, “Yes, I remember, and yes, but you can just call me Chinen,” I smiled encouragingly.
He seemed to brighten at my words, “Got it, Chinen.” he grinned broadly. “So what are you up to?”
“Not much,” I lied blandly. He seemed to take the lie pretty well, though, because he didn’t say anything in reply. So instead, I tried to start up a conversation. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Kei smiled.
“This might seem rather random…” but I have to know… I bit my lip, hoping the memory wouldn’t be too painful for him to recall. “The day when we first got assigned our biology partners for our last project… I don’t know if you remember… but did something happen to you that day?” I asked slowly, not wanting to pry too deep too fast.
By his silence, I could only guess that it had been as horrible as Ryosuke had made it seem.
“I’m sorry,” I quickly changed my mind, not wanting Kei to become annoyed with my questioning. “I shouldn’t have asked. I was just wondering why Ryosuke was so angry that day…”
“Ryosuke?” Kei blinked twice, his eyes reflecting clear confusion. “It had nothing to do with Ryosuke…” He sighed softly, a gentle smile curving at his lips. “Ryosuke’s just always too preoccupied with other people’s troubles; he takes them on as his own and disregards his own problems. He’s a little foolishly sympathetic.”
I mumbled softly under my breath, “I never knew that…” Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at him…
“Yeah, it’s a little hard to tell at first,” Kei laughed lightly. “He really means well… But you can never really tell what’s bothering him because of this. He has so many of other people’s problems blurring his thoughts that he can rarely even comprehend his own.”
“He seemed so… serious, though. I’m surprised he would be so worried about something that had nothing to do with him…”
Kei merely shrugged. “It may not seem so at first, but Ryosuke’s really just too nice on the inside… But that day in particular, it was just really bad for me… I should have guessed that Ryosuke would be affected by it,” he sighed once more.
“W-Why?” I stammered almost inaudibly. I was scared to ask, but I just so desperately wanted to understand what was going on.
“To be honest…” Kei’s voice had diminished to a whisper, his eyes turning away from mine. “That day, the boy I loved left me for someone else.”
My gaze fell, realizing I had been prying too far. I don’t have to right to ask Kei to tell me about this… It was then that I realized how much I was hurting him inside, forcing him to unearth the memory.
“I don’t know if you know him… Kota… Kota Yabu.” He bit his lip, the name tumbling out before he could stop himself. He didn’t even look to me for an answer. It was as if Kei couldn’t control himself. The truth just kept slipping out. “The two of us… we had been best friends for years, even before I had met Daiki, and we would always love spending time together… I called him every night before bed and every morning after breakfast. For all these years, I would always show him how much I loved him, loved him with all my heart… but I never directly told him. I thought that he knew, that it was obvious that my heart belonged to him, so obvious that I wouldn’t even have to tell him a word… But then, that day, the day of our biology project, he told me… he told me that he had become someone else’s boyfriend. He told me I was nothing to him.”
Kei stopped, his voice wavering. I didn’t know what to say; I barely knew Kei at all, and I already felt so sorry for him. I didn’t deserve to even be able to listen to him tell me something so personal. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for one of his close friends - Ryosuke - to deal with having to watching Kei in so much pain.
“When I asked him about what would then happen to ‘us’, he merely stated that I had to stop ‘clinging’ to him. He told me that it would only make his boyfriend angry. But he didn’t care at all for how I would feel.”
Kei sighed, releasing his inner tensions. I admired him for being strong enough to hold back his tears. “Unfortunately,” he continued, eyes still downcast. “Ryosuke found me after that, hidden in a bathroom stall, crying. I was pathetic.”
I shook my head fervently. “No, don’t say that,” I insisted, “You did nothing wrong. You were hurt; it only makes sense for you to feel heartbroken.”
Kei merely laughed lightly once more, which only worsened my guilt of making him tell me these things. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have let Ryosuke see me in such a pitiful state.”
“No, no, no…” I could hear myself murmuring the denial over and over again, shaking my head in disbelief. You can’t blame yourself for this…
“Please don’t be mad at Ryosuke because of me,” Kei murmured finally. “He was just being too much of a good friend.”
My chest tightened, hearing Ryosuke’s name once more. My voice could barely whisper, “I didn’t know he could be so caring… Being sad when you’re sad, understanding your pain like it was his own.” The words formed on my lips before I could even realize what I had said. Was I… sympathizing with Ryosuke? But I thought… he couldn’t be trusted…
Kei nodded gently. “I’m sure he didn’t really mean to be mad at you; he was just venting my stress.”
“He didn’t mean to…” the words echoed in my mind.
Could I really be so wrong about Ryosuke?
~~
My footsteps thudded emptily against the cold, concrete floor. The hallway began to fill with people as lunch finally ended. I had walked Kei all the way to his next classroom, and even then, he managed to hold back the tears. I could never be that strong. I gave him a hug before leaving, telling him again that he couldn’t blame himself. Unexpectedly, my words didn’t feel hollow, as words from strangers tend to be. But I supposed that after hearing someone divulge their darkest secret to you, it would be hard to say that you were still strangers. Kei and I couldn’t be strangers any longer.
I couldn’t help but feel happy that I was making a new friend, but at the same time, knowing what Kei had gone through, my heart stung with pain. Then, I realized that although I thought of Kei as a rival for Daiki before, he never was. I wanted to tell myself a burden had been lifted, that I was finally free to be with Daiki, to spend time with him and love him and devote my heart to him without having to worry about competition. But somehow…
Ryosuke’s face flashed before my eyes, and I stopped myself. Why… Why now?! When I’m finally have the chance to win Daiki… I stop myself.
I shook my head quickly. No… there’s no way… I’ve had a crush on Daiki for so long… But that was before I felt Ryosuke’s lips on my cheek, his arms around my body, his hand holding my hand. But it can’t be… I can’t be changing my heart… not for… him…
I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, trying to clear my mind. Ryosuke is just appearing in my thoughts because… he also likes Daiki, doesn’t he? I sighed, realizing my momentary freedom was snatched away once more. I’m not free, because there’s still competition, right? This heaviness in my chest, that’s from feeling unworthy of Daiki, isn’t it? Kei insisted Ryosuke’s so much of a better person… a better friend…
“But he said he loves me,” I found myself whispering aloud, unable to contain the words.
Ryosuke loves me…? that can’t… it can’t be true.