Thinking of You - Chapter Eleven
~君思う~
~Thinking of You~
Chapter 11: Unspoken Apologies
Daiki Arioka shifted uncomfortably in his seat as a gruff-looking middle-aged man sat down heavily beside him on the bus. The disgruntled JUMP member thought back to how the first time when he had taken the bus home, he had chanced upon Yuya at the bus stop, and the older boy had helped him figure out how to get home, telling him how much money he needed for the fare, and which stop he should get off at. At the time, Daiki had just been recruited for J.J.Express, and he was just trying to make his way home from the Jimusho for the first time.
“Thanks,” Daiki had nodded to the older boy, and from that one word on, the two had become fast friends.
Thinking back to before JUMP debuted, Daiki reminisced of the original Hey!Say!7… with Yuya… with Yuto and Ryosuke… and with Chinen… Back in the day when he first found out he was going to get to “predebut” with so many of his good friends, Daiki had been so excited, so happy.
Deaeta kiseki ni
Donna ketten mo
Imi nai yo
Kimi wa sono mama ga ichiban…
As the lyrics echoed nostalgically in Daiki’s mind, he couldn’t help but smile gently as quiet tears began to fall from his watering eyes. No matter what happened, JUMP would always be there to support him, even when he realized the spotlight seemed to always shine far too distantly from himself. “There's no point in finding faults in the miracle of us having met, you are best just the way you are…”
Humming softly, Daiki recalled the first time he had collapsed from exhaustion during one of their numerous backbreaking dance rehearsals; Yuya had been there to help support him. The first time Daiki had forgotten his water bottle at home and was practically dying from thirst during one of their innumerable tiring practices, Yuya had been there to offer him his drink. The first time Daiki had fallen, tripping onstage, Yuya had been there to help him up. The first time anyone in JUMP had ever said anything even somewhat insulting about Daiki behind his back, Yuya had been there to stand up for him.
And now, the first time Yuya ever needed Daiki to be there for him, Daiki wasn’t.
You hurt people… Kei’s accusation flashed repeatedly before Daiki’s eyes.
Kei’s right… how could I hurt these friends that mean so much to me? They all believed in me, trusted me, supported me… until I betrayed them. I really have betrayed them, haven’t I? The way I’ve been yelling at them, ordering them around, it’s as if I have completely forgotten all of the trials and cherished obstacles we had overcome together, as friends… if I can still be called a “friend”…
Daiki shuddered. I-I pushed Yuya, didn’t I? He had never wanted to admit this to himself, but deep inside, he knew the truth. He had seen Yuya, and he had purposely crashed into him.
Daiki gulped. I-I hurt Chinen, too, didn’t I? He didn’t even know what had come over him, what had made him approach Chinen when the vulnerable boy clearly had remonstrated against it. He had noticed Chinen’s unwillingness, and he had still no intent of stopping.
I’ve done so much wrong… yet all this time, Kei insisted on standing up for me, looking out for me, trying to make me see that which I had purposely tried so hard to overlook… But I can’t ignore the truth. I deserve nothing better than to be scorned for my actions.
I’m so sorry… how could I possibly salvage my friends?
Daiki’s thoughts began to wander, searching desperately for an answer, as the memories of his friends blurred like the scenery rushing past outside the bus’ window. The colors, the emotions, they all seemed to blend seamlessly. That is, until the bus slowly rolled to a stop outside the entryway of the hospital.
Maybe I should…
Drawing a deep breath for courage, Daiki wiped away the trails of tears that were gradually beginning to dry upon his cheeks and stood himself up, keeping his composure even though inside, Daiki was trembling.
Am I ready to face my friend…?
Just as he was about to get off the bus, however, the doors suddenly slammed shut, and the hospital slowly began to roll away from view. Placing his hand longingly on the windowpane as his chance to apologize to his friend slipped out of his grasp, Daiki breathed, “Yuya… I’m sorry… I was too slow…” Will you ever forgive me? Or is it already too late for me to apologize?
***
“Hikaru, why do you want me to go back down to the dressing room?” Kei questioned suspiciously. They had just gotten off the elevator at the lobby, and Hikaru was already asking him to go all the way back downstairs. “We were just in there five minutes ago…” Kei trailed off, raising an eyebrow at his friend’s strange inquiry.
“Just go back down there, and uh… grab me my water bottle from inside my locker,” Hikaru smiled as he rushed out the last part of his request. “Please~” he added innocently, putting on his best adorable puppy dog eyes to plead with Kei.
Kei couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. “You’re obviously up to something, but just to make you stop this whole angelic act, I’ll just go get it for you.” Kei turned and began to head back into the elevator. “But-” he added. “If this is some sort of trick, I am so going to get you next time…” he muttered as the doors slid closed and he began his descent.
From above, Hikaru made no reply to his friend’s last words. He did nothing, but smirked.
As soon as Kei stepped off the elevator downstairs, the lights shut off with a deafening crash, and he was instantly landed in pitch darkness. “Hello?” Kei called softly into the nothingness. “Is anyone there?”
No answer.
“I guess it is pretty late… maybe they thought everyone had left already.” Kei had half a mind to just turn right around and head back upstairs, but he felt himself drawn by his own curiosity towards the dressing room. He wanted to find out what Hikaru’s true reason was for sending him back downstairs.
Feeling along the wall in the dark, Kei’s fingers caught onto the door handle, and as he slowly pulled open the door, he was engulfed by the light, its brightness contrasting sharply with the dark hallway just beyond the door. Like from the flash of a camera, Kei was temporarily blinded. Stepping further inside, he rubbed his eyes in order to clear his vision.
Just as he blinked back into focus, he noticed a figure standing at the end of the room, his back facing him.
“Kota?” Kei asked in surprise.
“Kei?” Kota immediately recognized the younger boy’s voice, turning around so their eyes met.
“What are you doing here?” Kei asked softly.
“Hikaru said he wanted to talk to me about something, so he told me to wait here for him… What are you doing here?” Kota cocked his head, wondering.
“I-” Kei whipped his head around just in time to hear the lock on the door click shut. “Wait!” Kei yelled, rushing back to try pulling on the handle, but to no avail.
“Kei, what’s wrong?” Kota asked hurriedly.
“Kota, I think we’ve been locked in by Hikaru!” Kei replied anxiously.
“What?!” Kota ran over in disbelief.
“Hikaru!” Kei banged on the door. “Hikaru, this isn’t funny!” he hollered, but no one except Kota was there to hear him.
“Hikaru!” Kota shouted as he, too, pounded his fist on the door. “Let us out!” Kota’s yell echoed hollowly in the silence that followed.
“What should we do?” Kei asked helplessly. “We can’t break the door down, or else Johnny-san will kill us! And down here, there’s no reception, either, so we can’t even call anyone to come save us!”
Kota groaned in frustration, leaning his back onto the door as his body slid heavily to the floor. “That kid is going to pay for this,” he muttered bitterly as he mentally kicked himself for being so easily tricked by their mischievous friend.
“Kota, what are we going to do??” Kei began to panic, his words stumbling into one another as they emitted rapidly from his lips. “Are we going to starve to death? Out of the BEST members, the two of us are stuck in here, Yuya’s in the hospital, Daiki hasn’t shown up to practice for over a week now, and Hikaru’s the one that trapped us in here in the first place! Who’s going to let us out?!”
“Relax, Kei!” Kota put his hands onto Kei’s shoulders, preventing him from jumping up and down frantically. “I’m sure Hikaru will probably follow his guilty conscience and let us out,” Kota smiled cheerily.
Kei, beginning to calm down a little, giggled. “Hikaru? No, I don’t think he’ll ever listen to his conscience… if he has one, that is.”
Kota laughed alongside his friend. “That may be true, but he himself has to come down here eventually… So we just have to wait out until then,” Kota grinned.
Kei nodded.
“See, no worries, you were smiling just now, no? We’ll be fine; everything’s going to be okay. Besides,” Kota lowered his arms to embrace Kei gently, as he brought the younger boy’s thin frame close to his chest. “I’m here with you, so you have nothing to fear. I’ll always protect you.”