Shades (TWELVE)
Title: Shades
Pairing: KyuMin, slight!YeMin
Genre: Angst, Romance, Friendship, Dark, Smut, Yaoi, AU
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and the plot. This is inspired by the novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey'
Warning: boy-to-boy relationships, language
Summary: Behind every beautiful face lie very dark secrets.
Previous Chapters:
Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
CHAPTER TWELVE - PROMISES
A pair of dilated gray orbs welcomes our sight which sent shivers to my whole body. In instinct, I move away from Jongwoon-hyung, but he didn’t let go of my arm, though his eyes are also now on the unwanted guest.
“Wow, what a nice movie.” Kyuhyun sarcastically comments, his lips formed to a lopsided grin.
I whisper, “Kyu…” I honestly don’t know why I am suddenly feeling guilty when I think I liked what happened between me and Jongwoon-hyung.
Cho parts his lips open to speak, but Jongwoon-hyung interrupts him, returning his cold glare. “How did you enter here?”
The former rolls his eyes, placing his hands on his waist. “I’m a CEO, Jongwoon-ssi, in case you forgot,” I widen my eyes when I see him approaching me, especially when he tightly grabs my hand and tugs it. “Come on, Min, we’re going somewhere.”
“W-Wait-” I feel Kyuhyun pull me harshly, but I also feel the small hand wrapped on my other arm tightens its hold on me, the owner of the hand steps closer to us. It feels like I’m the rope in a tug-of-war game.
“No, he’s with me.” I never knew that an angry Jongwoon is one thing I will ever fear. His eyes are like throwing daggers to Kyuhyun, and his raspy voice is hinted with danger on it. However, game freak looks like he isn’t intimidated even by a little bit.
“I thought we agreed on playing fair, Jongwoon-ssi?” Playing fair? I knew there was something going on between these two! What am I, a game?
“I am playing fair, Kyuhyun-ssi. You shouldn’t just barge in like this and grab Sungmin from me. I got to him first.” Jongwoon-hyung replies calmly, opposite from this younger guy, who, I think, is going to explode any minute now. It seems like I saw smoke coming out from his nose.
Though annoyance is clearly reflected on his face, Kyuhyun remains silent. I weirdly feel emptiness the moment he lets go of my hand and takes a step back, staring at us almost blankly suddenly.
He looks at me in the eye as if he’s trying to send me a message through telepathy. He’s telling me to go away from Jongwoon-hyung and come with him.
But why?
Why is he being like this? He doesn’t have any feelings for me like I do. I’m not yet his Submissive, so why should he become this possessive? Do I really want to be with a person like him? Will I be happy with him knowing that he’s just in it for sex… that there is no emotional attachment on his part? Will I surrender the freedom I experienced for years just for him? What will I get from all of these?
Me.
His voice rings inside my head, and it never failed to make my heart flutter just by imagining it. The way he said that made it looked like it held a promise, which I am afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep for too long.
So I didn’t move an inch.
And I slightly regret that I didn’t because of the disappointed look Kyuhyun threw at me before he storms out of the dressing room without a word.
I take a step forward, but Jongwoon-hyung stops me. I look back at him, guilt coursing through my chest as I see his teary eyes, silently pleading at me. Why do I have to experience this? Why do I have to be in between?
“Don’t go.” His voice slightly cracks, showing how tired he is already.
“I’ll be back.”
He shakes his head vigorously, his tears threatening to fall from his eyes. I never saw him this vulnerable in front of me. “No, you won’t. Once you go to him, you will not come back to me.”
It stings. I feel guiltier than ever. It is not that I will not come back to him… After all, he is still not my boyfriend, right? I just confirmed that I heard his heart, that I know how he feels for me, but I haven’t given him an answer yet.
Still, I don’t want to hurt him.
“I’ll just talk to him for a while. I promise I will be back, hyung.” I give him the best reassuring smile I could produce in hope that he’ll be convinced and let me follow Kyuhyun. How many promises should I have to make and break so as not to hurt someone precious to me?
I shortly hug him before I run out of the room, not forgetting to bow at his makeup artists who fortunately just entered the room. I dash as fast as I can so that I could still catch up to Kyuhyun. I don’t know why I am doing this; I am just going along to whatever my mind will tell me to do. Or probably this is just my conscience working.
Luckily for me, I see that familiar broad back walking outside of the building. I panic when he’s already boarding his limousine, so as I run faster, I shout, “Kyu! Wait!”
It successfully stopped Kyuhyun from hopping on his car. However, he frowns when he sees me running towards him. “What, continue making out with him. Better yet, have sex in the dressing room.”
What the hell is he saying? I frown as well. “I… we… we’re not together.”
Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and snorts. “Right.” No, Min, stop thinking that he’s jealous. He is not jealous.
“Don’t tell me you were jealous.”
Without batting an eyelid, he answers immediately, much to my dismay, “Of course not.” See? There’s nothing wrong in trying… but this is fucking depressing and disappointing.
“Then why did you act that way? You wanted me to be your Sub that badly?”
He shouts back at me. “Yes! I want you to be my Submissive. I want you for myself. I want you to surrender yourself to me. I want to fuck you. I want to punish you. I want to gain control over you!”
It hurts. He only wants a fuck toy.
“Then I’ll try it.” It came too fast for me to contemplate on what to say that I didn’t even realize at first what just went out from my mouth. He, too, looks confused.
“What?”
Then again, there’s no turning back. “I want to experience how you punish your Subs. That’s what you want, right? You want to hit me with those toys you have in that room? You want to punish me because I’ve been naughty? Then I’m going to give you one chance.”
The strong expression he had earlier now turns to his lost boy look - his gaze softening but it is gloomy. Even his voice is weak. “But you’ll leave me after…” I almost didn’t hear it because it was a mumble.
Again, the urge to hug him and cradle him like a baby strikes me. But I have to do this. This is the only way I could think of on how to decide on it.
“I want to try it. Then I’ll decide if I want to be your Submissive.”
“But you’ll leave.”
“I won’t.”
“You will leave.”
“Kyu. I won’t. I promise.” I have to say it so that he will shut up.
He closes his eyes for a while, sighing heavily. “Fine.”
~0~
Kyuhyun looks angry; his eyes suddenly turned fiercer than earlier in the dressing room after seeing Jongwoon-hyung and I.
A part of me wants to just understand the boy even though I don’t have a definite idea as to why he is acting like this, but another part of me fears this side of Kyuhyun. I suddenly regret telling him that I want to experience how he punishes; that I am close to agreeing to be his Submissive.
But there’s no turning back.
Shindong-ssi drives us to where Charlie Echo - his precious helicopter - is, then someone by the name of Changmin, I think, serves as the pilot for the trip to Busan.
The silence between us is deafening that even Changmin-ssi, who seemed to have a very close relationship with Kyuhyun, stops talking to us the moment he noticed the creepy dark purple aura around his friend-slash-boss. Kyuhyun didn’t spare me a glance or say a letter to me, and so I did the same to him.
I just choose to just stare at the breathtaking top view of Seoul and the other cities we passed by. It is a better scene to watch than a grumpy Kyuhyun.
The journey seems too painfully slow for me, for the only thing I hear all throughout the travel is the sound of my own heartbeat. In a few minutes from now, Kyuhyun will bring me to his playroom and inflict pain on my body that I most probably won’t forget since no one had ever laid a finger on me like that.
To be honest, I was curious. I was very curious why there were six people who were able to bear with the beatings from Kyuhyun for three months, at the most. Will I be one of them?
Will I be the seventh person to surrender himself to Cho Kyuhyun?
I feel my heart skip a beat when I hear the door being slid open by Kyuhyun, disrupting my thoughts. I just watch him jump down the helicopter, and then he holds his hand out and grabs my wrist, pulling me off the vehicle rather harshly.
It shocked me. This is not the Kyuhyun I knew (so far), but is actually the Kyuhyun I thought of when we first met.
Ignoring Changmin’s playful comment on being a bit gentle on me, Kyuhyun literally drags me to his abode, not even pausing to greet Nari ahjumma when the lady greeted us.
Soon after, we finally enter the playroom, but he slams the door down and pushes me to the bed, immediately straddling me before crashing his lips with mine roughly, biting my lower lip in the process, causing for blood to draw out from it.
If the situation was a bit lighter, I would already be aroused by now. However, all I feel is fear. The lust I felt from the time he first brought me here was gone. As much as I want to break free from his iron grip on my wrists, my pride dictates me to endure this since I started this. I was the one who requested this.
I have to show Cho Kyuhyun that I am a strong-willed man who is different from his previous whores. I want to show him that I am very different… that I am not like them… even though I am already scared of what he will do to me.
I can still feel the sting on my lower lip, also at the same time, I can already taste my blood, especially when he forces his tongue in my mouth, sucking oxygen from my lungs. The next thing he does is he abruptly pulls away and flips me for me to lie on my stomach, his fingers busy unbuckling my belt.
Once he’s done removing my pants and underwear, he gets off the bed and walks over towards the wall where different types of whips hang there.
I slightly feel relieved that he chose the shortest one. For a while I thought I will lose my heart due to intense nervousness. But it seems like Cho still has the decency to go a bit easy on a newbie like me.
I nervously gulp as he settles once again on the bed, his long arms reaching for my legs and waist then pulls my lower body on his lap.
Shiver runs down my spine while his fingers caress a butt cheek, but is replaced by his palm heavily landing on my bottom.
I am somewhat familiar to this since this is not the first time he did this to me. It is actually just the second time. He repeats his cycle. He slaps, then soothes it using his fingers, but hits it again before stroking the skin as well.
He did it for like ten times on each butt cheek until I already can’t feel anything on that part.
I groan lightly as he pushes me off him again; the pain which I thought was already numbed comes striking me.
“Hyung,” he huskily whispers on my ear, making me slightly flinch because of surprise. “Remember to tell me to stop if you can’t take the pain anymore. I will stop once you say it,” says Kyuhyun as he covers my eyes using a blindfold. I whimper in response. I hate being blindfolded.
A scream comes out from my throat when I feel a hard blow on the upper part of my thighs, just below my bottom. Tears gather in my eyes while I try to suppress more screams as Kyuhyun whips my butt and thighs.
Just like when he was merely slapping my butt, he is also rubbing the part where he hit me before lashing once again. I can hear satisfied groans from him, meaning, he is enjoying the show before him.
I don’t understand why he has this desire and pleasure on seeing people getting hurt physically, most especially if he’s the one doing the beating. I don’t understand why he even built a room especially for this bizarre need of his. I don’t understand why he has to do an illogical thing such as the Dominant-Submissive contract. I don’t understand why he tells me to be his Submissive one time, but then rejects the idea another time. I don’t understand why he is this complicated.
I don’t understand him.
I don’t understand everything.
That is why I want to understand. That is why I am doing this.
“Sungmin-hyung,” he speaks hoarsely.
I want him to change. I want him to enlighten me so that I could help him. There has to be a reason why he turned out to be like this, still, he can’t stay like this forever. He will not only hurt his Submissives, but also himself.
“Tell me to stop.”
His words aren’t reflected on his actions. His voice tells me that he wants to stop hitting me; however, his body automatically reacts oppositely. It is like getting addicted to a drug. Once you took it, no matter how much you want to quit, your body system prevents you from doing so… even if it is already hurting you.
Then again, help from someone could have a great reverse impact. And I want to be that one for Kyuhyun.
But I don’t think I can.
The whips are starting to become unbearable to the point that the tears I were holding back seconds ago involuntarily fell from my eyes. I clench my fists very firm, trying to distract myself from the pain brought by the lash. I also try occupying myself on thinking about various happy things, but it didn’t work on me. I could still feel it. It is burning my skin.
I can’t take this anymore. This is too much for me to handle. I am not the person for this. I don’t want to live like this. I don’t think I could survive.
I want to shout. I want to tell him to stop. But my cries muffle all the words I want to say, only resulting for me to choke continuously.
“Hyung?” his voice turns gentler, and that’s when I realize that he already stopped hitting me. I remain immobile, crying like a mess.
His touch on my back makes me shiver. I am scared. I am scared of him. I now see him as a monster who loves to torture his prey, and will kill them after. This was not what I expected.
“Hyung, I’m sorry…” I didn’t move. I can’t feel anything. I can’t think of anything. My systems aren’t coordinating properly. Yes, I can hear him, but I can’t comprehend.
I let him pull me in a sitting position and put my pants back. My gaze lingers on the floor as Kyuhyun cups my face and wipes the tears staining my face, repeatedly muttering apologies.
“You didn’t tell me stop.” I am able to hear that from his babbling.
“I can’t…” I weakly reply. I can’t collect my thoughts. I am such in a mess right now.
“Why? You should have-”
Disregarding the fact that my lower part terribly aches, I stand up and try maintaining my balance. Without a word, I storm out of the room, not bothering to glance at Kyuhyun because I know that I won’t be able to take a step once I see his face… especially his eyes.
“Sungmi-” I quickly pass by Nari ahjumma, wanting to avoid another conversation. I don’t want to be rude towards the nice lady, but I am not in the mood and I’m afraid that I might take it out on her.
Despite my wobbly legs, I am able to make it out of the building in a short time. I don’t care if people are giving me weird and curious stares, all I want is to go away from Kyuhyun for now. I know that sooner or later, I will have to face him… but not now.
Unfortunately, he catches up and holds my arm to turn me around. I refuse to look at his eyes so I just settle on fixing my gaze on his neck.
“Hyung, you promised me…” But promises are meant to be broken.
“I’m sorry, Kyuhyun.” I cannot be what you want me to be, and you cannot be what I want you to be. We won’t work out.
“Hyung,” he pleads.
“Please let me think first. Please leave me alone for now…”
It seems to work since he slowly loosens his grip on my arm, so I take that chance to turn away from him and run away.
However, my curiosity irks me. I take a quick glance at Kyuhyun, which I instantly regret doing the moment I see his teary sorrowful eyes.
TO BE CONTINUED
-Unbetaed.
-Sorry for the late update! Christmas season is one of the busiest periods of the year for me. Also because I was busy watching kdramas
-Belated Happy Birthday to Sungmin and Happy New Year everyone! I sincerely apologize for starting the year with angst >< /hides
-You will know why Kyuhyun is like that some other time (for those who haven’t read the trilogy yet). I don’t know if I should hate Kyuhyun or Sungmin here… maybe just the both of them LOL
-Did you guys already watch the teaser of Breakdown? ANDJBFJDBFSLJAFD Kyuhyun is just… KJABHBKLJKBFKBFAHKBKDF all of them are freaking sexy there T.T
-I wonder what Kyu and Min did on Min’s birthday KEKEKE~ :D
-More angst coming for this fic! Hope you will stay tuned!
Pairing: KyuMin, slight!YeMin
Genre: Angst, Romance, Friendship, Dark, Smut, Yaoi, AU
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and the plot. This is inspired by the novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey'
Warning: boy-to-boy relationships, language
Summary: Behind every beautiful face lie very dark secrets.
Previous Chapters:
Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
CHAPTER TWELVE - PROMISES
A pair of dilated gray orbs welcomes our sight which sent shivers to my whole body. In instinct, I move away from Jongwoon-hyung, but he didn’t let go of my arm, though his eyes are also now on the unwanted guest.
“Wow, what a nice movie.” Kyuhyun sarcastically comments, his lips formed to a lopsided grin.
I whisper, “Kyu…” I honestly don’t know why I am suddenly feeling guilty when I think I liked what happened between me and Jongwoon-hyung.
Cho parts his lips open to speak, but Jongwoon-hyung interrupts him, returning his cold glare. “How did you enter here?”
The former rolls his eyes, placing his hands on his waist. “I’m a CEO, Jongwoon-ssi, in case you forgot,” I widen my eyes when I see him approaching me, especially when he tightly grabs my hand and tugs it. “Come on, Min, we’re going somewhere.”
“W-Wait-” I feel Kyuhyun pull me harshly, but I also feel the small hand wrapped on my other arm tightens its hold on me, the owner of the hand steps closer to us. It feels like I’m the rope in a tug-of-war game.
“No, he’s with me.” I never knew that an angry Jongwoon is one thing I will ever fear. His eyes are like throwing daggers to Kyuhyun, and his raspy voice is hinted with danger on it. However, game freak looks like he isn’t intimidated even by a little bit.
“I thought we agreed on playing fair, Jongwoon-ssi?” Playing fair? I knew there was something going on between these two! What am I, a game?
“I am playing fair, Kyuhyun-ssi. You shouldn’t just barge in like this and grab Sungmin from me. I got to him first.” Jongwoon-hyung replies calmly, opposite from this younger guy, who, I think, is going to explode any minute now. It seems like I saw smoke coming out from his nose.
Though annoyance is clearly reflected on his face, Kyuhyun remains silent. I weirdly feel emptiness the moment he lets go of my hand and takes a step back, staring at us almost blankly suddenly.
He looks at me in the eye as if he’s trying to send me a message through telepathy. He’s telling me to go away from Jongwoon-hyung and come with him.
But why?
Why is he being like this? He doesn’t have any feelings for me like I do. I’m not yet his Submissive, so why should he become this possessive? Do I really want to be with a person like him? Will I be happy with him knowing that he’s just in it for sex… that there is no emotional attachment on his part? Will I surrender the freedom I experienced for years just for him? What will I get from all of these?
Me.
His voice rings inside my head, and it never failed to make my heart flutter just by imagining it. The way he said that made it looked like it held a promise, which I am afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep for too long.
So I didn’t move an inch.
And I slightly regret that I didn’t because of the disappointed look Kyuhyun threw at me before he storms out of the dressing room without a word.
I take a step forward, but Jongwoon-hyung stops me. I look back at him, guilt coursing through my chest as I see his teary eyes, silently pleading at me. Why do I have to experience this? Why do I have to be in between?
“Don’t go.” His voice slightly cracks, showing how tired he is already.
“I’ll be back.”
He shakes his head vigorously, his tears threatening to fall from his eyes. I never saw him this vulnerable in front of me. “No, you won’t. Once you go to him, you will not come back to me.”
It stings. I feel guiltier than ever. It is not that I will not come back to him… After all, he is still not my boyfriend, right? I just confirmed that I heard his heart, that I know how he feels for me, but I haven’t given him an answer yet.
Still, I don’t want to hurt him.
“I’ll just talk to him for a while. I promise I will be back, hyung.” I give him the best reassuring smile I could produce in hope that he’ll be convinced and let me follow Kyuhyun. How many promises should I have to make and break so as not to hurt someone precious to me?
I shortly hug him before I run out of the room, not forgetting to bow at his makeup artists who fortunately just entered the room. I dash as fast as I can so that I could still catch up to Kyuhyun. I don’t know why I am doing this; I am just going along to whatever my mind will tell me to do. Or probably this is just my conscience working.
Luckily for me, I see that familiar broad back walking outside of the building. I panic when he’s already boarding his limousine, so as I run faster, I shout, “Kyu! Wait!”
It successfully stopped Kyuhyun from hopping on his car. However, he frowns when he sees me running towards him. “What, continue making out with him. Better yet, have sex in the dressing room.”
What the hell is he saying? I frown as well. “I… we… we’re not together.”
Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and snorts. “Right.” No, Min, stop thinking that he’s jealous. He is not jealous.
“Don’t tell me you were jealous.”
Without batting an eyelid, he answers immediately, much to my dismay, “Of course not.” See? There’s nothing wrong in trying… but this is fucking depressing and disappointing.
“Then why did you act that way? You wanted me to be your Sub that badly?”
He shouts back at me. “Yes! I want you to be my Submissive. I want you for myself. I want you to surrender yourself to me. I want to fuck you. I want to punish you. I want to gain control over you!”
It hurts. He only wants a fuck toy.
“Then I’ll try it.” It came too fast for me to contemplate on what to say that I didn’t even realize at first what just went out from my mouth. He, too, looks confused.
“What?”
Then again, there’s no turning back. “I want to experience how you punish your Subs. That’s what you want, right? You want to hit me with those toys you have in that room? You want to punish me because I’ve been naughty? Then I’m going to give you one chance.”
The strong expression he had earlier now turns to his lost boy look - his gaze softening but it is gloomy. Even his voice is weak. “But you’ll leave me after…” I almost didn’t hear it because it was a mumble.
Again, the urge to hug him and cradle him like a baby strikes me. But I have to do this. This is the only way I could think of on how to decide on it.
“I want to try it. Then I’ll decide if I want to be your Submissive.”
“But you’ll leave.”
“I won’t.”
“You will leave.”
“Kyu. I won’t. I promise.” I have to say it so that he will shut up.
He closes his eyes for a while, sighing heavily. “Fine.”
~0~
Kyuhyun looks angry; his eyes suddenly turned fiercer than earlier in the dressing room after seeing Jongwoon-hyung and I.
A part of me wants to just understand the boy even though I don’t have a definite idea as to why he is acting like this, but another part of me fears this side of Kyuhyun. I suddenly regret telling him that I want to experience how he punishes; that I am close to agreeing to be his Submissive.
But there’s no turning back.
Shindong-ssi drives us to where Charlie Echo - his precious helicopter - is, then someone by the name of Changmin, I think, serves as the pilot for the trip to Busan.
The silence between us is deafening that even Changmin-ssi, who seemed to have a very close relationship with Kyuhyun, stops talking to us the moment he noticed the creepy dark purple aura around his friend-slash-boss. Kyuhyun didn’t spare me a glance or say a letter to me, and so I did the same to him.
I just choose to just stare at the breathtaking top view of Seoul and the other cities we passed by. It is a better scene to watch than a grumpy Kyuhyun.
The journey seems too painfully slow for me, for the only thing I hear all throughout the travel is the sound of my own heartbeat. In a few minutes from now, Kyuhyun will bring me to his playroom and inflict pain on my body that I most probably won’t forget since no one had ever laid a finger on me like that.
To be honest, I was curious. I was very curious why there were six people who were able to bear with the beatings from Kyuhyun for three months, at the most. Will I be one of them?
Will I be the seventh person to surrender himself to Cho Kyuhyun?
I feel my heart skip a beat when I hear the door being slid open by Kyuhyun, disrupting my thoughts. I just watch him jump down the helicopter, and then he holds his hand out and grabs my wrist, pulling me off the vehicle rather harshly.
It shocked me. This is not the Kyuhyun I knew (so far), but is actually the Kyuhyun I thought of when we first met.
Ignoring Changmin’s playful comment on being a bit gentle on me, Kyuhyun literally drags me to his abode, not even pausing to greet Nari ahjumma when the lady greeted us.
Soon after, we finally enter the playroom, but he slams the door down and pushes me to the bed, immediately straddling me before crashing his lips with mine roughly, biting my lower lip in the process, causing for blood to draw out from it.
If the situation was a bit lighter, I would already be aroused by now. However, all I feel is fear. The lust I felt from the time he first brought me here was gone. As much as I want to break free from his iron grip on my wrists, my pride dictates me to endure this since I started this. I was the one who requested this.
I have to show Cho Kyuhyun that I am a strong-willed man who is different from his previous whores. I want to show him that I am very different… that I am not like them… even though I am already scared of what he will do to me.
I can still feel the sting on my lower lip, also at the same time, I can already taste my blood, especially when he forces his tongue in my mouth, sucking oxygen from my lungs. The next thing he does is he abruptly pulls away and flips me for me to lie on my stomach, his fingers busy unbuckling my belt.
Once he’s done removing my pants and underwear, he gets off the bed and walks over towards the wall where different types of whips hang there.
I slightly feel relieved that he chose the shortest one. For a while I thought I will lose my heart due to intense nervousness. But it seems like Cho still has the decency to go a bit easy on a newbie like me.
I nervously gulp as he settles once again on the bed, his long arms reaching for my legs and waist then pulls my lower body on his lap.
Shiver runs down my spine while his fingers caress a butt cheek, but is replaced by his palm heavily landing on my bottom.
I am somewhat familiar to this since this is not the first time he did this to me. It is actually just the second time. He repeats his cycle. He slaps, then soothes it using his fingers, but hits it again before stroking the skin as well.
He did it for like ten times on each butt cheek until I already can’t feel anything on that part.
I groan lightly as he pushes me off him again; the pain which I thought was already numbed comes striking me.
“Hyung,” he huskily whispers on my ear, making me slightly flinch because of surprise. “Remember to tell me to stop if you can’t take the pain anymore. I will stop once you say it,” says Kyuhyun as he covers my eyes using a blindfold. I whimper in response. I hate being blindfolded.
A scream comes out from my throat when I feel a hard blow on the upper part of my thighs, just below my bottom. Tears gather in my eyes while I try to suppress more screams as Kyuhyun whips my butt and thighs.
Just like when he was merely slapping my butt, he is also rubbing the part where he hit me before lashing once again. I can hear satisfied groans from him, meaning, he is enjoying the show before him.
I don’t understand why he has this desire and pleasure on seeing people getting hurt physically, most especially if he’s the one doing the beating. I don’t understand why he even built a room especially for this bizarre need of his. I don’t understand why he has to do an illogical thing such as the Dominant-Submissive contract. I don’t understand why he tells me to be his Submissive one time, but then rejects the idea another time. I don’t understand why he is this complicated.
I don’t understand him.
I don’t understand everything.
That is why I want to understand. That is why I am doing this.
“Sungmin-hyung,” he speaks hoarsely.
I want him to change. I want him to enlighten me so that I could help him. There has to be a reason why he turned out to be like this, still, he can’t stay like this forever. He will not only hurt his Submissives, but also himself.
“Tell me to stop.”
His words aren’t reflected on his actions. His voice tells me that he wants to stop hitting me; however, his body automatically reacts oppositely. It is like getting addicted to a drug. Once you took it, no matter how much you want to quit, your body system prevents you from doing so… even if it is already hurting you.
Then again, help from someone could have a great reverse impact. And I want to be that one for Kyuhyun.
But I don’t think I can.
The whips are starting to become unbearable to the point that the tears I were holding back seconds ago involuntarily fell from my eyes. I clench my fists very firm, trying to distract myself from the pain brought by the lash. I also try occupying myself on thinking about various happy things, but it didn’t work on me. I could still feel it. It is burning my skin.
I can’t take this anymore. This is too much for me to handle. I am not the person for this. I don’t want to live like this. I don’t think I could survive.
I want to shout. I want to tell him to stop. But my cries muffle all the words I want to say, only resulting for me to choke continuously.
“Hyung?” his voice turns gentler, and that’s when I realize that he already stopped hitting me. I remain immobile, crying like a mess.
His touch on my back makes me shiver. I am scared. I am scared of him. I now see him as a monster who loves to torture his prey, and will kill them after. This was not what I expected.
“Hyung, I’m sorry…” I didn’t move. I can’t feel anything. I can’t think of anything. My systems aren’t coordinating properly. Yes, I can hear him, but I can’t comprehend.
I let him pull me in a sitting position and put my pants back. My gaze lingers on the floor as Kyuhyun cups my face and wipes the tears staining my face, repeatedly muttering apologies.
“You didn’t tell me stop.” I am able to hear that from his babbling.
“I can’t…” I weakly reply. I can’t collect my thoughts. I am such in a mess right now.
“Why? You should have-”
Disregarding the fact that my lower part terribly aches, I stand up and try maintaining my balance. Without a word, I storm out of the room, not bothering to glance at Kyuhyun because I know that I won’t be able to take a step once I see his face… especially his eyes.
“Sungmi-” I quickly pass by Nari ahjumma, wanting to avoid another conversation. I don’t want to be rude towards the nice lady, but I am not in the mood and I’m afraid that I might take it out on her.
Despite my wobbly legs, I am able to make it out of the building in a short time. I don’t care if people are giving me weird and curious stares, all I want is to go away from Kyuhyun for now. I know that sooner or later, I will have to face him… but not now.
Unfortunately, he catches up and holds my arm to turn me around. I refuse to look at his eyes so I just settle on fixing my gaze on his neck.
“Hyung, you promised me…” But promises are meant to be broken.
“I’m sorry, Kyuhyun.” I cannot be what you want me to be, and you cannot be what I want you to be. We won’t work out.
“Hyung,” he pleads.
“Please let me think first. Please leave me alone for now…”
It seems to work since he slowly loosens his grip on my arm, so I take that chance to turn away from him and run away.
However, my curiosity irks me. I take a quick glance at Kyuhyun, which I instantly regret doing the moment I see his teary sorrowful eyes.
TO BE CONTINUED
-Unbetaed.
-Sorry for the late update! Christmas season is one of the busiest periods of the year for me. Also because I was busy watching kdramas
-Belated Happy Birthday to Sungmin and Happy New Year everyone! I sincerely apologize for starting the year with angst >< /hides
-You will know why Kyuhyun is like that some other time (for those who haven’t read the trilogy yet). I don’t know if I should hate Kyuhyun or Sungmin here… maybe just the both of them LOL
-Did you guys already watch the teaser of Breakdown? ANDJBFJDBFSLJAFD Kyuhyun is just… KJABHBKLJKBFKBFAHKBKDF all of them are freaking sexy there T.T
-I wonder what Kyu and Min did on Min’s birthday KEKEKE~ :D
-More angst coming for this fic! Hope you will stay tuned!