Title: Shades
Pairing: KyuMin
Genre: Angst, Romance, Friendship, Dark, Smut, Yaoi, AU
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and the plot. This is inspired by the novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey'
Warning: boy-to-boy relationships, language
Summary: Behind every beautiful face lie very dark secrets.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - LETTING GO
Same place. Same time. Same weather. Same reason why he’s out.
He was just out to buy his bubble tea and while he was on his way back to the building, happily sipping his favorite drink, he saw the same girl who he had encountered in the same situation some weeks ago.
But there are differences. Her once messy golden hair is now dyed brown and is combed neatly. Her once crumpled dress is now replaced to a pair of chic leather vest and shorts, with a white top under it. Her once pale cheeks and lips are now a shade of baby pink, and her once dull round eyes now have life in them.
It is nice to see her like this, but her arrival surprised him.
Sunny smiles, most probably because of how he stares at her wide-eyed. But then, the more he stared at her, the more he realized how he looks like her.
“Sungmin-ssi,” Sunny calls gently, taking a few steps closer to him. If she was still in the state during that incident in his apartment, he might have took a step back, though he cannot help but remain cautious around her. She might have noticed it because she maintains enough distance between them.
“I’m not here to fight. I’m here to apologize for what I have done to you… it was so immature of me.” Sunny starts. He had to lean closer to her since she barely heard what she said due to the softness of her voice. At the realization of what she wants to say, he mumbles an ‘Oh’ before standing straight. He should have expected it; judging from the change of the brunette’s aura and her smile.
The one whom he’d got jealous of is now apologizing to him. He is not used to this. “Sunny-ssi…” he manages to utter. He feels like a girl because of what’s happening and how he acts towards the woman.
“Sunkyu,” Sunny cuts him, making him almost unconsciously arch an eyebrow. “My real name is Sunkyu. Lee Sunkyu.” So, even their surnames are the same. Somehow, he finds it funny that Sunny’s real name can be a combination of his and Kyuhyun’s names. Sunkyu continues, “I know you can’t forgive me yet and I understand that, but I just want you to know that I regret what I did, and I promise not to meddle in with your life anymore. I learned my lesson.”
He didn’t really bear any hatred towards her. He understands why she did those stuffs; thinking of her past with Kyuhyun. Being the best friend of an active journalist student has its perks, after Donghae had faced various types of people and had complained to him about all of them. He was able to understand that people are going through different situations so they react differently to something. What Sunny did was wrong; however, he believes he doesn’t have the right to despise and judge her because of it.
Sunny breaks his trance. “You changed Kyuhyun a lot, you know.”
He completely focuses his gaze on Sunny’s face and sees her blushing. It was when he felt the slight burning of his cheeks did he realize that he is blushing as well. Both of them laughed after.
Sunny, thinking that the atmosphere is now lighter, decides to continue talking. “I was so jealous of you. In fact, I still am. Kyuhyun never treated me the way he treats you,” he watches Sunny’s expression shift to being a bit gloomy. “Our relationship had always been one-sided; he was at the receiving end all the time but he never returned anything to me. He didn’t reciprocate my feelings nor even recognize it,”
Then, the brunette smiles genuinely. “You’re so lucky, Sungmin-ssi. Do not let go of Kyuhyun. He needs you.”
He returns the smile with equal sincerity, whispering, “I won’t.”
“That’s a relief. Again, I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I wish the two of you happiness. Please say my good bye to Kyuhyun. I wasn’t able to bid my farewell properly when we last talked.”
Curious, he frowns a bit. “You’re going?” It earns him a soft sigh from the woman, but she maintains a smile. “I decided to go away for a while. You know, give time for myself… to fix myself after all that happened…”
“I see. I wish you will finally find happiness.” He nods in understanding. True enough, Sunny deserves a break from what she had gone through. She needs to start anew.
“Thank you. Good bye, Sungmin-ssi.”
“Good bye, Sunkyu-ssi.”
At least Sunkyu left with a bright smile on her face. At least Sunkyu had already let go of Kyuhyun.
“Yes! Yes! I will marry you!”
Cheers and loud clapping of hands are heard as they watch Donghae go on his knees in front of his kneeling lover, who is now officially his fiancé, and hug him, tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes.
Kyuhyun, who is standing on his right, is the only one not cheering and clapping; however, there is a genuine smile on the CEO’s face which is a rare thing to see and only he is blessed to witness this almost every day.
On his left, there he sees both Ryeowook and Leeteuk sobbing on Kangin, who is left with no choice but to comfort the other two though happiness is also evident on his teary beautiful eyes. He admits that Kangin’s smiling eyes are one of the most beautiful pairs he had ever seen.
He is happy for his best friend; ever since he announced to Donghae that he was already engaged to Kyuhyun, the man had always whined about Eunhyuk not giving a damn about marriage and stuff. Little did he know that on Eunhyuk’s birthday, on a beautiful day at a peaceful resort, while he is busy entertaining his boyfriend’s guests, Eunhyuk would ask for his hand for marriage.
Donghae is the type to engage himself in short term relationships. He had witnessed his roommate crying every night because he’s already single. And then after a few months, there’s already a new guy in his life.
One time, he asked Donghae, ‘Aren’t you tired of getting hurt because of love? Why do you keep on searching for it when all it does is hurt you?’ Then Donghae replied with a smile, ‘How would you find true love if you will not look for it?’
It was simple, yet precise. Since then, he didn’t ask the younger about it whenever he had broken up with his lover. He got what Donghae meant; however, he did not understand the deep meaning behind it.
Now, as he watches Donghae and Eunhyuk looking at each other so lovingly, he finally understands completely what Donghae really meant by his answer.
Though if this happened but he hadn’t met Kyuhyun yet, he might still be in the period of processing the phrase but he’ll be getting there. His experiences with Kyuhyun enlightened him about the answer to that question.
Love will not come to you; you have to look for it. You have to act; to move. Just like when you are in search of a missing thing, there are times that you will trip on something, or your body will hit on something; you will get hurt. There are also times when you will get tired and think of giving up. But once you find it, there’s this feeling of achievement and you’ll think that it’s a good thing you didn’t give up.
After all, why start when you won’t finish it?
Of course it doesn’t stop there. The next challenge after finding true love is to keep it and never lose it again. He and Kyuhyun are on that stage now.
They started having a messy and crazy relationship. It was unusual. It was alien to both of them. No one knew how things would go. Since it was an experimental relationship, they had experienced lots of problems and downfalls more than the stable and happy days. He admits he had always thought of giving up. Always. It had always crossed his mind. He had thought that Kyuhyun was a hopeless case and he would never change.
But because of Kyuhyun’s initiative to work things out between them, he, too, had found the courage and determination to make it work. And it did work.
Most people say that it was Kyuhyun who changed a lot; but for him, it’s the both of them. If it weren’t for Kyuhyun, he would still be that boring aspiring novelist perched in front of the desk, typing things on his laptop which were made purely out of his imagination. He would still be a hopeless romantic living in the world of fairytale love stories. He would not be aware of reality.
Kyuhyun broadened his world. Kyuhyun brought him out of his too-good-to-be-true fantasies and showed him how love really works. Love in real life is far different from the stuffs shown by Walt Disney, but it is more beautiful. Especially now that he is holding the hand of the man he would spend the rest of his life with, he doesn’t regret any of his impulsive actions before.
He doesn’t regret that he did not give up, because he found more than what he was looking for.
He should have not said that Kyuhyun knows how to play chess.
He feels he is being ignored while his father, Joon, and his boyfriend are having their third match in chess. All three matches were won by Kyuhyun so his appa is determined to beat the younger just once. Yes, Joon is that competitive when it comes to chess.
He should be happy that his father and boyfriend are in good terms (Victoria had already talked to Kyuhyun and it was a relief that his mother did not say anything bad to his lover) but he and Kyuhyun were supposed to stroll around the beach because it is such a nice weather today and they shouldn’t waste it! Then again, he still can’t go against his appa whenever the older male is in front of a chess board. It’s like Chess > Sungmin, ever since. Kyuhyun seemed to swing that way as well.
“Hey.”
He feels a pat on his shoulder and he turns to the owner of the voice and hand, immediately smiling back at the singer. It was Ryeowook who invited him and the cook really made sure that Jongwoon doesn’t have any schedule on this day.
“Hi hyung. Done talking to Wookie?” he asks sweetly, as usual. He is the sweetest dongsaeng of Jongwoon, after all.
“Huh? No, I was with Donghae a while ago. Ryeowook-ssi’s in the kitchen, cooking.”
A frown forms on his forehead. “You still call him with a -ssi?” He can’t believe it; Jongwoon and Ryeowook had been in the cooking show for a month and his idiot of a hyung is still formal towards the younger.
“Why not? He’s a workmate.” Jongwoon replies, giving him innocent looks. He sighs and shakes his head lightly while palming his forehead; his hyung can really be dense at times.
“Whatever. What are you doing here, anyway?”
“Can we talk… somewhere private?”
He hesitates at first. ‘Somewhere private’ means he’ll be alone in a place with Jongwoon, who obviously still harbors feelings for him, and Kyuhyun wouldn’t like it. But seeing that his boyfriend is too focused on the game that he didn’t even notice Jongwoon arrive, he thought he is safe to go with his hyung for a while.
Turns out, that ‘somewhere private’ of the singer isn’t in a secluded room. Jongwoon led him to the seashore where their feet could be reached by the waves, but they are in the other side of the beach, where the others aren’t staying so it could still be considered as private.
“You look happier.” Jongwoon says, not looking at him. The older looks peaceful as the wind blows his blond strands away from his face, his white shirt also dancing with the wind. His fans are correct; Jongwoon is beautiful.
He looks away and eyes the white sand they are walking on. He smiles. “I am.”
“Congratulations on your engagement, by the way.”
The sudden greeting surprises him that he didn’t know how to react. He didn’t even know that Jongwoon already knew. As far as he knows, he hadn’t told him the news yet. He stops walking and looks back at the taller blond. “Hyung, I-”
Jongwoon chuckles lightly, pushing his hands inside his grey pants’ pockets. “Ryeowook-ssi told me.” Well, that’s a disadvantage for having Ryeowook as a friend and a future brother-in-law; the guy is too talkative for his own good. He wanted to personally tell Jongwoon about it. Now he feels guilty for not telling his favorite hyung earlier.
“I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you! But I swear I will really tell you but I was just looking for the ri-” He keeps on babbling that Jongwoon grabs him by the shoulders, laughing. “Min, pumpkin, it’s okay. No worries. I understand why you had to keep it from me.”
Of course. The reason he kept it is because he doesn’t want to hurt the celebrity. He’s afraid it will distract Jongwoon from his work and it might affect his career.
All he could do is pout. “I-I’m s-sorry…”
Jongwoon’s grip on his shoulders slackens a bit, and he feels the older’s thumb rubbing on his upper arm. “I’m still in love with you. But I now surrender. I lost the fight.”
Tears form on his eyes after hearing how broken Jongwoon’s voice is at the confession. “H-Hyung…”
“I don’t regret anything. You made me happy for the times we’ve spent with each other. Though you weren’t able to return my feelings, it’s completely fine. I guess it’s karma.”
“Karma?” He looks up innocently at Jongwoon, who already had let go of his shoulder and faced the sea.
“I left my ex-boyfriend to study in Seoul.” The other almost whispers.
Wow, he didn’t know Jongwoon was in a relationship before.
“You didn’t tell me!”
The older blond laughs and ruffles his hair. “Long story. Anyways, I’m happy for you and Kyuhyun-ssi. You deserve each other.” Jongwoon continues to walk.
He stares at his hyung’s retreating back for a while before and running after the singer, catching up to walk beside him. He stops the other by hugging him on the waist. “Thank you, hyung. You’re still and will forever be my favorite hyung.” He does a method which is always effective to make his hyung happy; him doing aegyo.
Jongwoon smiles wider and kisses his forehead, whispering, “You’ll forever be my favorite dongsaeng.”
Ryeowook and Donghae have already pulled Jongwoon away from him and even tried dragging him to the karaoke room in the vacation house, but he assumed Kyuhyun and his appa had finished playing chess so his boyfriend must have been looking for him now.
He returns to the place where the two were having their chess battle, but just like what he thought, no one is there already. He walks around the resort to search for his lover. It was when he reaches the swimming pool area that he saw Kyuhyun.
Much to his surprise, Kyuhyun is talking to that Chinese he loathes the most. Why is Zhou Mi here? He is sure that Eunhyuk will never invite the foreigner to his birthday party. Did Kyuhyun invite him?
It angers him. He trusts Kyuhyun; however, he does not trust Zhou Mi, and he never will.
He angrily makes his way to the two, but Kyuhyun sees him even before he could hear what they were talking about. He raises an eyebrow when Kyuhyun’s facial expression darkens after seeing him. Oh, so Kyuhyun is mad at him?
Kyuhyun immediately looks away and walks to the other direction after dismissing Zhou Mi, who merely smirked at him and stayed on his position.
Determined not to start a fight with Zhou Mi, he runs after Kyuhyun and grabs his arm, successfully making the brunet turn to look at him. “Kyuhyun! Why are you ignoring me?!”
Kyuhyun literally growls at him and sends him deadly glares. “Go back to your Jongwoon. You must have missed him so much.”
Ah, so this is indeed about Jongwoon. “What? Hey, that’s nothing! We just talked!”
A loud snort is heard from the young billionaire, sarcasm sensed on his tone. “Yeah, talking includes hugging and forehead kissing. Right.” It almost didn’t register in his mind that Kyuhyun saw Jongwoon kiss his forehead.
If Kyuhyun is losing his patience, then he is, too. He thought the issue with Jongwoon was already done since he had agreed to his marriage proposal already? “That was nothing!” Kyuhyun must have not stayed after seeing that kiss; he actually pulled away instantly from the hug so it wouldn’t start suspicions if anyone would see them together. And thankfully, Ryeowook and Donghae already ran towards them after.
Surprisingly, after months of not doing it, Kyuhyun raises his voice at him, making him flinch at every yell Kyuhyun makes. “It was not ‘nothing,’ Sungmin! You can’t tell me that it was nothing when everybody knows how he’s head over heels for you!”
“What are you- that was a goodbye hug! He just congratulated me for the engagement - for our engagement - and said he’s letting me go!” He is near the edge. He doesn’t want to completely lose his temper and he feels like crying now because his lover, his fiancé, isn’t listening to him… and doesn’t trust him.
“Letting you go, my ass. That’s bullshit!”
And then he sees Zhou Mi through his peripheral view and he just lost it. He let the tears flow from his eyes and screams back, pointing at the smirking Chinese near them. “Bullshit? What about you and that bamboo stick? I’m sure you’re aware of how clingy he was to you like you’re a sushi and he’s the chopsticks!”
Kyuhyun seems unfazed by his crying and even defended the third man. “Not Zhou Mi again… why do you keep on involving him here?!” It angers him more.
“Because you keep on involving Jongwoon-hyung! Why is that Chinese here?!”
“He has a client staying in the same resort.”
“Client in the same resort, my ass. Now that’s obviously bullshit because this is your family’s private resort!”
“At least Mi didn’t hug and kiss me on the forehead!”
“At least Jongwoonie-hyung is not a pedophile and didn’t fuck me for several times because of a fucking contract!”
That was it. That is the blow that ended the argument. He regrets it. It should have remained as a thought, but maybe it was bottled inside him for too long now that this spat triggered the urge to say that. He cannot take his words back. Kyuhyun heard every single word he said.
A pang on his chest distracts him a bit as he watches Kyuhyun’s expression darken even more. He, too, maintains a strong stature no matter how he is slowly breaking down inside.
However, his eyes go wide as saucers and his whole body shivers in fear as Kyuhyun launched at him and grabbed his collar, his noise almost puffing smoke and his face turning red.
He squeezes his eyes shut while he prepares for a blow on his jaw but nothing came. Kyuhyun releases him and storms out of the area, leaving him with Zhou Mi, who is grinning like a Cheshire cat.
He is close to breaking down, but he hears someone slowly clapping and there he sees Zhou Mi walking towards him, doing that. “Wow, that is how you talk to your master?” Just by hearing the pedophile’s voice increases the disgust he feels towards the older.
“Fuck off.”
Then, the smirk on Zhou Mi’s face was gone, and he turns serious. “No. You just insulted what Kyuhyun and I do. Just because you are engaged to him, it doesn’t give you the right to judge and insult Kyuhyun’s past… our past.”
“I will insult you how many times I want to, and you cannot stop me.”
Zhou Mi lets out a mocking laugh. “Are you still affected by my past with Kyuhyun, dear?”
The question silences him. It is not because he doesn’t have an answer to it, but because he doesn’t want to admit that he agrees to what was asked of him. He thought he was over it, but he realizes that he was just denying it all along because it hurts; it hurts that Kyuhyun cannot let go of his past with Zhou Mi and Zhou Mi isn’t letting go of Kyuhyun, either.
The fear that Kyuhyun will leave him for Zhou Mi was not washed away by their engagement; and now, after what just transpired between him and Kyuhyun, it is not impossible that Kyuhyun will choose this old man over him. The thought tore his heart apart.
Being the sadistic he is, Zhou Mi continues mocking him. “Are you still affected that I was the one who was there to cure Kyuhyun’s insecurity of himself when he was young? Are you still affected that I was the one who satisfied his teenage hormonal needs?”
He doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to hear any of it. He has to go away or punch Zhou Mi on the face before running and hiding somewhere and sulk in a dark corner.
“Are you still affected that I made him happy at such a young age? Are you still affected that I took his virginity away? Are you still affected that I am his first love?”
“Zhou Mi! What did I just hear?!”
Both he and Zhou Mi turn to the owner of the scream, their eyes seem bulging out of its sockets at the sight of a raging Leeteuk. The beauty, gentleness and pureness of the family’s angel are now gone, and all they can see is the Leeteuk which is scarier than Heechul and Kyuhyun, combined. He is not aware that his quarrel with Kyuhyun had gained everyone’s attention.
“T-Teuk…” he hears Zhou Mi mumble.
The doctor pointed a finger at his friend, now his former friend, hissing every word with danger laced on his tone. “Don’t you ‘Teuk’ me. What did you do to Kyuhyun before?!”
Zhou Mi takes a step back and he stutters. “I-I…”
Unfortunately for Zhou Mi, it is too late for him to escape for Ryeowook and Eunhyuk were not able to stop their umma from running towards his former colleague and slap him hard on the cheek, earning loud gasps from everyone, including him. He had never thought that the gentle matriarch of the Kim Family is this scary.
“You disgusting pedophile! How dare you turn Kyuhyun that way?!” Leeteuk slaps Zhou Mi again, even if his two sons are already pulling him away. “How dare you ruin my son’s innocence?! I don’t want to see your fucking face anymore! Go away! Now!” Zhou Mi, now terrified of Leeteuk’s outburst, runs away.
Kyuhyun chose the wrong timing to come back and check what the screaming is all about, for Leeteuk faces him angrily and screams at him, “And you! Why did you let this happen?! I am so disappointed in you, Cho Kyuhyun!”
Kyuhyun looks clueless for a while, but when the man eyed him, he knew that the former was thinking it was his fault. It breaks his heart even more.
“Umma!”
“Don’t you fucking dare follow me! I don’t want you touching me! I can’t believe you used those filthy hands to touch Sungmin!” Leeteuk continues yelling while being pulled by Eunhyuk, Ryeowook and Donghae. Kangin comes to help them but stops Kyuhyun from going near them first.
“Kyuhyun, just do what your umma said. Let him cool his head down.”
“But, appa…”
“I am disappointed in you, too, son.” Says Kangin in his authoritative, but sad voice. “And you, Sungmin,” Kangin looks at him. “Follow us.”
Before everything turns worse, they drag the cursing Leeteuk away.
When Kyuhyun glared at him, he felt the need to defend himself. “K-Kyu, I-I didn’t know…” But Kyuhyun didn’t listen.
He just lets Kyuhyun go like that.
TO BE CONTINUED
-And the angst starts now. Haha.
-3 CHAPTERS LEFT! Sorry, guys >:D It will not end the way it ended on the book. ^_~
-Belated Merry Christmas and Advanced Happy New Year! /sends you all flying kiss/