Shades (THIRTY)
Title: Shades
Pairing: KyuMin
Genre: Angst, Romance, Friendship, Dark, Smut, Yaoi, AU
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and the plot. This is inspired by the novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey'
Warning: boy-to-boy relationships, language
Summary: Behind every beautiful face lie very dark secrets.
CHAPTER THIRTY - LOSING YOU
18:55
The sound of a plate clashing on the floor didn’t succeed in snapping him out from his trance.
His eyes are focused on the sink in front of him, the sound of running water getting lighter in his hearing.
His arms remain bent on his sides with his now empty hands.
His pale lips slowly part, his throat getting dry.
The worried voices approaching him still didn’t succeed in snapping him out from his trance.
He continues staring at the tiled wall; he is not one to believe in superstitions; he is not one to believe in signs; yet, once his fingers start trembling and his heart start thumping on his chest violently, he knows something bad happened.
“Minnie! Minnie! Hey, are you okay?! Oh my God, Hyukkie, he’s got wounds!”
“What? Ryeowook-ah, get the first aid kit!”
"Kim Heechul, call Teukkie-”
“What, I just got here and you’ll-”
“Kim Heechul!”
“Fine! Fine! Geez, this old raccoon.”
“Min? Lee Sungmin, son.”
He didn’t know how he ended up sitting on a chair, with his father and Jongwoon next to him. He didn’t know that Donghae was yelling at him. He didn’t know that the plate landed on his feet and had caused wounds and blood on it.
He didn’t even feel the pain.
He knows it; he was close to breaking down. But his father’s voice woke his senses up and every feeling numbed began striking him all at once.
Tears fall from his eyes as he shoots his scared gaze to the worried people surrounding him. The pain on his feet cannot be compared to the pain he feels inside his chest. Leeteuk is already on the process of healing his wounds, but the ache in his heart cannot be healed by a doctor, especially if the cause is unknown.
He can’t think of anything else. His brain isn’t properly working. He hugs his appa so tight as if his life depends on the older man. At times like this, he could only cling onto his appa so he wouldn’t lose his sanity.
“K-Kyuhyun…” he mumbles, his grip on Joon’s shirt tightening.
“What’s with Kyuhyun?” Joon asks gently while rubbing his back.
His mind is blank, but he continues mumbling Kyuhyun’s name again and again.
Everyone gets worried. He had never acted this way even after he had a fight with Kyuhyun, though they also considered that this seemed to be the worst fight the couple ever had.
And so, the psychiatrist steps in. Heechul kneels in front of him after Leeteuk moved away from them. The red head holds his shoulders firmly, making him focus his attention on the scary doctor. Even in his unstable state, he is still afraid of Heechul.
“Why are you calling for Kyuhyun?” Heechul asks slowly and carefully, the man’s cat-like eyes never leaving him. He is silent for a moment, trying to think of an answer to the doctor’s question. Thoughts he had about Kyuhyun come flooding in his mind again so rapidly that he just snaps, “Kyuhyun!”
He looks around frantically, in search of that one particular brunet. He then directs his swollen orbs towards the surprisingly worried Heechul, and this time, he is the one holding on the red-haired male’s shoulders.
He shakes it lightly. “Hyung! Hyung! Something bad happened to Kyuhyun! I know it! I felt it!” Tears come flowing from his eyes, yet again.
Heechul starts rubbing his back, whispering reassuring words to calm him down, but it didn’t work. “Hyung, please believe me! I… I… I know it… K-Kyuhyun… H-He… H-He is not calling me yet… H-He is not yet back… h-hyung, let’s search for him, please…” he croaks weakly.
With big, hopeful eyes, he watches Heechul glance at the people around them, as if questioning them about what is happening. He is not crazy. Maybe not yet, but he knows what he is saying. He is no psychic or a supernatural creature, but he is sure that something bad happened or yet to happen to his lover. He hopes the latter is the case so they could still prevent it. And hopefully, they will take him seriously.
“I believe him.” His hopes had risen when Leeteuk finally decides to speak. The man, too, has tears on his eyes and is embracing himself. “I also felt that way a while ago, before Heechul told me you broke a plate and got hurt, I sensed something bad. And I immediately thought of Kyuhyun.”
“’Motherly’ instincts you’ve got there, Teukkie,” Heechul seems to be joking, but the serious expression on his face tells them it was not an attempt to make things lighter. “On a psychiatrist’s point of view, those signs you two have been having shouldn’t be ignored. How many hours had Kyuhyun gone missing?”
“Three to four hours.” Eunhyuk answers from behind Donghae, his voice weak as well.
“And we received no calls from him since then.” A teary-eyed Ryeowook adds, earning a nod from Heechul.
“Where’s Shindong?”
It is Kangin who answers next, stepping next to his spouse and gathering the weeping man in his strong arms, “I sent him and his team to look for Kyuhyun. It’s already late and he’s not yet here.”
Everything Kyuhyun’s family said made his mood worse. The uneasiness grows on him that he grabs Heechul’s arms tight and kneels in front of him, too. “Hyung! Let’s all look for Kyuhyun, please! I don’t want to lose him! No, not now!”
Dr. Kim Heechul’s professional side breaks. He sees the tough doctor’s face soften and he soon felt arms wrapped around his torso.
“I’ll start looking for him.” Eunhyuk declares before running outside of the room with Jongwoon. Donghae is about to go after his fiancé, but Kangin puts a hand on the younger’s shoulder and stops him. “Stay here. Sungmin needs you.”
Donghae nods as the patriarch instructs Ryeowook to continuously call Kyuhyun’s phone and track him down, and watch over Leeteuk. Ryeowook immediately does as what he was told, staying beside to his umma.
“Minnie, bunny, calm down, okay? We’ll find Kyuhyun. You have to put yourself together so you will look good when Kyuhyun comes back, understood?” Heechul whispers to him.
“I want to come with you…”
“No. Stay here with your appa. You have to be here when Kyuhyun comes home. I can’t believe I’ll be saying this, but just pray for Kyuhyun’s safety. We’ll do the searching and you stay put. Do you understand me, Lee Sungmin?”
Then again, due to his fear of witnessing Heechul’s wrath, he absentmindedly nods, earning him a smile from his lover’s psychiatrist. Seconds after, Heechul is already gone from his sight.
“Kyuhyun’s phone is turned off…” Ryeowook utters before heaving a deep sigh.
19:15
He had stopped crying after the others had gone to search for Kyuhyun. He has his head on his appa’s shoulder and Donghae, on his other side, is hugging him tight, offering him silent comfort.
Leeteuk is sitting on the sofa across them with Ryeowook, who is still trying his best to contact Kyuhyun and anyone who may be with him right now. Occasionally, Leeteuk would stand up and pace around the living room. He would have done that too if only his energy was not drained by too much crying a while ago.
Why isn’t Kyuhyun coming back yet? Why isn’t Kyuhyun calling him? Where is Kyuhyun? Is he safe? What is he doing right now? Questions such as those flood his mind. As far as he knows, he is the one who will run away for a while whenever they fight. Kyuhyun never ran away. It was either he will come back or Kyuhyun will look for him.
“Shindong-hyung!” Ryeowook’s shriek startles him. He sits up straight. The chef is on the phone with Shindong, based on what the other said. “W-What?” His eyes turn wide as he watches Ryeowook go pale.
“What is it?” Leeteuk slightly shakes his second son, who is now staring at the carpeted floor blankly.
He feels like his heart also dropped along with Ryeowook’s phone.
“Charlie Echo…” Ryeowook mumbles.
“What? Who the fuck is Charlie Echo?” Joon impatiently asks. He wants to explain to his father that Ryeowook was pertaining to a helicopter, but his chest ached the moment Ryeowook mentioned it that he found it hard to breathe.
“Charlie Echo crashed…”
He feels his world crashing as well. He hopes what he was thinking is wrong…
“Kyuhyun was in Charlie Echo…”
Screams are heard for Leeteuk just fainted.
~0~
The rescue team came in time to save the two passengers of the crashed helicopter. Charlie Echo fell on the seas of Yeosu. It was reported that the helicopter created noise to attract attention from the people living near the area. The rescuers found Kyuhyun and Changmin floating on the waters using the life vest near the seashore but both are unconscious. It seemed that the two have jumped even before the helicopter reached the sea.
However, both men’s lives are still in danger. Both have drunk too much salt water and some have reached their lungs, and Shindong’s informant told them Kyuhyun was in a more critical state since his head received a heavy impact, probably after jumping, causing internal hemorrhage. The two were immediately brought to the nearest hospital, and all of them took the earliest and fastest trip to Yeosu the moment they were informed of the situation.
Leeteuk and Ryeowook instantly ran to Kyuhyun’s bed in the ICU and cried, holding his pale hands. Only three visitors are allowed inside, so he didn’t go with them. He’s not yet ready to see Kyuhyun, lifeless. The doctor said no one knows when he will wake up, but he has high chances of living because he’s fighting.
Well, he should. He thought. Still, he blames himself for this. If he and Kyuhyun didn’t fight, he and Zhou Mi will not talk, they will not attract the others’ attention, Leeteuk will not discover the two’s past affair, and Kyuhyun will not go back to Busan through the helicopter.
Weirdly, no tears would come out now that he wanted to cry. Maybe God doesn’t want him shedding tears because everything is his fault. He doesn’t have the right to cry.
While Kangin and Shindong talk to the police, Donghae pulls him to sit on the bench outside the ICU, his father sitting beside him.
As he watches Eunhyuk speak to one of Shindong’s security team member, he hears his phone ringing and Donghae lets out a gasp to find his pink phone from his pocket. He remembers lending it to Donghae when the latter asked him for it this morning.
“Sorry! I forgot to return it! I- Oh, Vic-umma’s calling.” Donghae says as he returns the phone to him. Hearing it was from his mother, he immediately answers it and places the screen on his ear. He needs his mother’s comfort now more than ever.
“Umma!” he cries. Tears begin pooling on his eyes once he hears his mother’s voice.
“Baby, how are you? Joon told me about the accident…” says Victoria with a worried tone.
“Umma… Kyuhyun… Kyuhyun is…” he mumbles in between sobs, “Umma this is my fault!” This time, his sobs grow louder as he let tears flow on his cheeks.
“Ssh, baby, calm down. You have to be strong for Kyuhyun, okay? I’m sure he’s fighting for you, so you have to fight for him, too.”
“It’s my fault, umma… It’s my fault…”
“Are they blaming you?”
He pauses. “…No. But what if they’re just not saying it-”
“Okay, you obviously got my paranoia. Baby, if no one is blaming you, then it’s not your fault. Call me if you guys decided to move him to Seoul or Busan. I’ll go there to see you. Okay? Calm down.”
He nods, although he knows Victoria can’t see him. He unconsciously grips his appa’s hand tight. “Yes, umma. I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. Pray for Kyuhyun all the time.”
…pray.
Can prayers really do something? Even Heechul, an atheist, told him to pray for Kyuhyun. He was never a religious person, unlike his former boss, Siwon. Oddly, after knowing what kind of guy Siwon actually is, he concluded that even the most religious guys have their bad side, so he didn’t bother being one.
Then again, if this could save Kyuhyun, there’s no harm in trying.
Feeling slightly enlightened, he puts away the phone from his ear, a frown forming on his forehead after reading that he got a message from Kyuhyun.
Sent: 18:52
From: Game Freak Cho ♡
I’m sorry, Sungmin. I love you.
He finally breaks down.
TO BE CONTINUED
-Unbeta'd. Hihi. Was supposed to post this yesterday but I thought this update is definitely not a good way to start the year HAHAHAHA should I still say Happy New Year? /runs
-Because I gave you a short (and heartbreaking) update, I'll add one more chapter before the end, so there are still three chapters left! Yay! :D
-REASONS WHY THE 1ST DAY OF THE YEAR IS HEAVENLY FOR KYUMIN SHIPPERS:
HAPPY NEW YEAR, JOYERS!!!
Pairing: KyuMin
Genre: Angst, Romance, Friendship, Dark, Smut, Yaoi, AU
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and the plot. This is inspired by the novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey'
Warning: boy-to-boy relationships, language
Summary: Behind every beautiful face lie very dark secrets.
CHAPTER THIRTY - LOSING YOU
18:55
The sound of a plate clashing on the floor didn’t succeed in snapping him out from his trance.
His eyes are focused on the sink in front of him, the sound of running water getting lighter in his hearing.
His arms remain bent on his sides with his now empty hands.
His pale lips slowly part, his throat getting dry.
The worried voices approaching him still didn’t succeed in snapping him out from his trance.
He continues staring at the tiled wall; he is not one to believe in superstitions; he is not one to believe in signs; yet, once his fingers start trembling and his heart start thumping on his chest violently, he knows something bad happened.
“Minnie! Minnie! Hey, are you okay?! Oh my God, Hyukkie, he’s got wounds!”
“What? Ryeowook-ah, get the first aid kit!”
"Kim Heechul, call Teukkie-”
“What, I just got here and you’ll-”
“Kim Heechul!”
“Fine! Fine! Geez, this old raccoon.”
“Min? Lee Sungmin, son.”
He didn’t know how he ended up sitting on a chair, with his father and Jongwoon next to him. He didn’t know that Donghae was yelling at him. He didn’t know that the plate landed on his feet and had caused wounds and blood on it.
He didn’t even feel the pain.
He knows it; he was close to breaking down. But his father’s voice woke his senses up and every feeling numbed began striking him all at once.
Tears fall from his eyes as he shoots his scared gaze to the worried people surrounding him. The pain on his feet cannot be compared to the pain he feels inside his chest. Leeteuk is already on the process of healing his wounds, but the ache in his heart cannot be healed by a doctor, especially if the cause is unknown.
He can’t think of anything else. His brain isn’t properly working. He hugs his appa so tight as if his life depends on the older man. At times like this, he could only cling onto his appa so he wouldn’t lose his sanity.
“K-Kyuhyun…” he mumbles, his grip on Joon’s shirt tightening.
“What’s with Kyuhyun?” Joon asks gently while rubbing his back.
His mind is blank, but he continues mumbling Kyuhyun’s name again and again.
Everyone gets worried. He had never acted this way even after he had a fight with Kyuhyun, though they also considered that this seemed to be the worst fight the couple ever had.
And so, the psychiatrist steps in. Heechul kneels in front of him after Leeteuk moved away from them. The red head holds his shoulders firmly, making him focus his attention on the scary doctor. Even in his unstable state, he is still afraid of Heechul.
“Why are you calling for Kyuhyun?” Heechul asks slowly and carefully, the man’s cat-like eyes never leaving him. He is silent for a moment, trying to think of an answer to the doctor’s question. Thoughts he had about Kyuhyun come flooding in his mind again so rapidly that he just snaps, “Kyuhyun!”
He looks around frantically, in search of that one particular brunet. He then directs his swollen orbs towards the surprisingly worried Heechul, and this time, he is the one holding on the red-haired male’s shoulders.
He shakes it lightly. “Hyung! Hyung! Something bad happened to Kyuhyun! I know it! I felt it!” Tears come flowing from his eyes, yet again.
Heechul starts rubbing his back, whispering reassuring words to calm him down, but it didn’t work. “Hyung, please believe me! I… I… I know it… K-Kyuhyun… H-He… H-He is not calling me yet… H-He is not yet back… h-hyung, let’s search for him, please…” he croaks weakly.
With big, hopeful eyes, he watches Heechul glance at the people around them, as if questioning them about what is happening. He is not crazy. Maybe not yet, but he knows what he is saying. He is no psychic or a supernatural creature, but he is sure that something bad happened or yet to happen to his lover. He hopes the latter is the case so they could still prevent it. And hopefully, they will take him seriously.
“I believe him.” His hopes had risen when Leeteuk finally decides to speak. The man, too, has tears on his eyes and is embracing himself. “I also felt that way a while ago, before Heechul told me you broke a plate and got hurt, I sensed something bad. And I immediately thought of Kyuhyun.”
“’Motherly’ instincts you’ve got there, Teukkie,” Heechul seems to be joking, but the serious expression on his face tells them it was not an attempt to make things lighter. “On a psychiatrist’s point of view, those signs you two have been having shouldn’t be ignored. How many hours had Kyuhyun gone missing?”
“Three to four hours.” Eunhyuk answers from behind Donghae, his voice weak as well.
“And we received no calls from him since then.” A teary-eyed Ryeowook adds, earning a nod from Heechul.
“Where’s Shindong?”
It is Kangin who answers next, stepping next to his spouse and gathering the weeping man in his strong arms, “I sent him and his team to look for Kyuhyun. It’s already late and he’s not yet here.”
Everything Kyuhyun’s family said made his mood worse. The uneasiness grows on him that he grabs Heechul’s arms tight and kneels in front of him, too. “Hyung! Let’s all look for Kyuhyun, please! I don’t want to lose him! No, not now!”
Dr. Kim Heechul’s professional side breaks. He sees the tough doctor’s face soften and he soon felt arms wrapped around his torso.
“I’ll start looking for him.” Eunhyuk declares before running outside of the room with Jongwoon. Donghae is about to go after his fiancé, but Kangin puts a hand on the younger’s shoulder and stops him. “Stay here. Sungmin needs you.”
Donghae nods as the patriarch instructs Ryeowook to continuously call Kyuhyun’s phone and track him down, and watch over Leeteuk. Ryeowook immediately does as what he was told, staying beside to his umma.
“Minnie, bunny, calm down, okay? We’ll find Kyuhyun. You have to put yourself together so you will look good when Kyuhyun comes back, understood?” Heechul whispers to him.
“I want to come with you…”
“No. Stay here with your appa. You have to be here when Kyuhyun comes home. I can’t believe I’ll be saying this, but just pray for Kyuhyun’s safety. We’ll do the searching and you stay put. Do you understand me, Lee Sungmin?”
Then again, due to his fear of witnessing Heechul’s wrath, he absentmindedly nods, earning him a smile from his lover’s psychiatrist. Seconds after, Heechul is already gone from his sight.
“Kyuhyun’s phone is turned off…” Ryeowook utters before heaving a deep sigh.
19:15
He had stopped crying after the others had gone to search for Kyuhyun. He has his head on his appa’s shoulder and Donghae, on his other side, is hugging him tight, offering him silent comfort.
Leeteuk is sitting on the sofa across them with Ryeowook, who is still trying his best to contact Kyuhyun and anyone who may be with him right now. Occasionally, Leeteuk would stand up and pace around the living room. He would have done that too if only his energy was not drained by too much crying a while ago.
Why isn’t Kyuhyun coming back yet? Why isn’t Kyuhyun calling him? Where is Kyuhyun? Is he safe? What is he doing right now? Questions such as those flood his mind. As far as he knows, he is the one who will run away for a while whenever they fight. Kyuhyun never ran away. It was either he will come back or Kyuhyun will look for him.
“Shindong-hyung!” Ryeowook’s shriek startles him. He sits up straight. The chef is on the phone with Shindong, based on what the other said. “W-What?” His eyes turn wide as he watches Ryeowook go pale.
“What is it?” Leeteuk slightly shakes his second son, who is now staring at the carpeted floor blankly.
He feels like his heart also dropped along with Ryeowook’s phone.
“Charlie Echo…” Ryeowook mumbles.
“What? Who the fuck is Charlie Echo?” Joon impatiently asks. He wants to explain to his father that Ryeowook was pertaining to a helicopter, but his chest ached the moment Ryeowook mentioned it that he found it hard to breathe.
“Charlie Echo crashed…”
He feels his world crashing as well. He hopes what he was thinking is wrong…
“Kyuhyun was in Charlie Echo…”
Screams are heard for Leeteuk just fainted.
~0~
The rescue team came in time to save the two passengers of the crashed helicopter. Charlie Echo fell on the seas of Yeosu. It was reported that the helicopter created noise to attract attention from the people living near the area. The rescuers found Kyuhyun and Changmin floating on the waters using the life vest near the seashore but both are unconscious. It seemed that the two have jumped even before the helicopter reached the sea.
However, both men’s lives are still in danger. Both have drunk too much salt water and some have reached their lungs, and Shindong’s informant told them Kyuhyun was in a more critical state since his head received a heavy impact, probably after jumping, causing internal hemorrhage. The two were immediately brought to the nearest hospital, and all of them took the earliest and fastest trip to Yeosu the moment they were informed of the situation.
Leeteuk and Ryeowook instantly ran to Kyuhyun’s bed in the ICU and cried, holding his pale hands. Only three visitors are allowed inside, so he didn’t go with them. He’s not yet ready to see Kyuhyun, lifeless. The doctor said no one knows when he will wake up, but he has high chances of living because he’s fighting.
Well, he should. He thought. Still, he blames himself for this. If he and Kyuhyun didn’t fight, he and Zhou Mi will not talk, they will not attract the others’ attention, Leeteuk will not discover the two’s past affair, and Kyuhyun will not go back to Busan through the helicopter.
Weirdly, no tears would come out now that he wanted to cry. Maybe God doesn’t want him shedding tears because everything is his fault. He doesn’t have the right to cry.
While Kangin and Shindong talk to the police, Donghae pulls him to sit on the bench outside the ICU, his father sitting beside him.
As he watches Eunhyuk speak to one of Shindong’s security team member, he hears his phone ringing and Donghae lets out a gasp to find his pink phone from his pocket. He remembers lending it to Donghae when the latter asked him for it this morning.
“Sorry! I forgot to return it! I- Oh, Vic-umma’s calling.” Donghae says as he returns the phone to him. Hearing it was from his mother, he immediately answers it and places the screen on his ear. He needs his mother’s comfort now more than ever.
“Umma!” he cries. Tears begin pooling on his eyes once he hears his mother’s voice.
“Baby, how are you? Joon told me about the accident…” says Victoria with a worried tone.
“Umma… Kyuhyun… Kyuhyun is…” he mumbles in between sobs, “Umma this is my fault!” This time, his sobs grow louder as he let tears flow on his cheeks.
“Ssh, baby, calm down. You have to be strong for Kyuhyun, okay? I’m sure he’s fighting for you, so you have to fight for him, too.”
“It’s my fault, umma… It’s my fault…”
“Are they blaming you?”
He pauses. “…No. But what if they’re just not saying it-”
“Okay, you obviously got my paranoia. Baby, if no one is blaming you, then it’s not your fault. Call me if you guys decided to move him to Seoul or Busan. I’ll go there to see you. Okay? Calm down.”
He nods, although he knows Victoria can’t see him. He unconsciously grips his appa’s hand tight. “Yes, umma. I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. Pray for Kyuhyun all the time.”
…pray.
Can prayers really do something? Even Heechul, an atheist, told him to pray for Kyuhyun. He was never a religious person, unlike his former boss, Siwon. Oddly, after knowing what kind of guy Siwon actually is, he concluded that even the most religious guys have their bad side, so he didn’t bother being one.
Then again, if this could save Kyuhyun, there’s no harm in trying.
Feeling slightly enlightened, he puts away the phone from his ear, a frown forming on his forehead after reading that he got a message from Kyuhyun.
Sent: 18:52
From: Game Freak Cho ♡
I’m sorry, Sungmin. I love you.
He finally breaks down.
TO BE CONTINUED
-Unbeta'd. Hihi. Was supposed to post this yesterday but I thought this update is definitely not a good way to start the year HAHAHAHA should I still say Happy New Year? /runs
-Because I gave you a short (and heartbreaking) update, I'll add one more chapter before the end, so there are still three chapters left! Yay! :D
-REASONS WHY THE 1ST DAY OF THE YEAR IS HEAVENLY FOR KYUMIN SHIPPERS:
HAPPY NEW YEAR, JOYERS!!!