Center Stage
Title: Center Stage
Pairing: Kai/Yoona
Characters: Exo (the 8 revealed members), Yoona
Rating: PG
A/N: omg, kai & yoona are so cute. hehehe
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"Okay, practice is over! Go to the dorms, shower, and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow!"
The practice room was suddenly filled with the sounds of bodies hitting the floor and loud groans of pain and relief.
"My legs! I can't feel my legs!" Sehun cried out jokingly, reaching out from his spot on the ground to grab at Luhan's leg, causing the skinny Chinese boy to let out an undignified yelp before crashing to the floor next to him. He looked up, pouting, before reaching out blindly and bringing down another member.
Pretty soon, all the boys were busy laughing and attacking one another: Sehun and Luhan were wrestling, Chen and Tao were sitting on top of Baekhyun, and Lay had D.O.'s beanie and was hopping over the sprawled-out bodies as he waved the hat in his hand, taunting the other boy and laughing when he tripped over Chen's leg.
"Hey, Kai, catch!" Lay called out, turning around to toss the beanie to Kai only to find the other one leaning over the music player, choosing a song, and pressing play.
He paused, watching Kai quizzically as he went back to the mirror and struck the first pose just as the music started to blare through the speakers again.
The temporary distraction gave D.O. enough time to recover and barrel into Lay, bringing the boy down. He grabbed his hat and pulled it onto his head, sticking his tongue out at the other before getting up and running over to the other boys who were starting to get up off the floor and pack their things.
"Hey, what are you doing? Kai. Practice is over. Hello? Kai!" Lay called, trying to get the other boy's attention, but Kai didn't seem to hear him, staring himself down in the mirror as he continued to dance.
"Yah, Kim Jongin!" Lay raised his voice, finally getting the other to notice him as he paused in the middle of a spin, turning his head to acknowledge him.
"Yeah, hyung?" Kai asked, jogging over to the music player to restart the song.
"Practice is over. Aren't you gonna come with us back to the dorms?" Lay asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
"Nah. I'm going to practice some more. I keep messing up." Kai mumbled, taking his place in front of the mirror again.
"You? Mess up? Come on, man, you're perfect. You're Exo's dancer, remember?" Lay said, grinning, but his smile faded when Kai merely shrugged, the determination in his eyes contrasting his dark circles on his pale skin.
Lay took a cautious step towards the younger boy. "You want me to dance with you? I don't mind staying a little longer. Besides, if you think you're messing up, I should probably brush up on my moves too..." He mused.
"No!" Kai said, his dark eyes flashing angrily. Lay froze, stunned by Kai's outburst.
"I I-I mean, no, it's okay. I kind of want to be alone. I need to practice more. By myself. And I'll be staying a while too. Don't know if you'd want to stay that long." Kai said, his cheeks reddening as he looked down at the floor as a slightly awkward feeling settled between them, 'Two Moons' playing in the background.
"Hey, are you guys coming?" Luhan asked, poking his head back in the door.
Lay looked at him before turning back to Kai, smiling softly. "Don't worry about it. I get it. Just don't practice too much, you need to rest. See you later then, okay?"
Luhan waved cheerily at Kai before leaving with Lay, chatting excitedly in Chinese.
Kai sighed, rubbing his weary eyes before going to restart the song again.
----------
It was nearly 3:30 in the morning, yet music was still blaring from one of the practice rooms.
Kai stood in the middle of the hardwood floor with sweat soaking his clothes and pouring down his face, yet he didn't stop.
He couldn't stop.
He had to keep practicing, he had to keep trying, he had to be better, he had to be perfect.
That was the only way he could prove to everyone that he was worth it, that he was worth being in Exo and worth all the hype.
The next song began to play and Kai began to move, but his body was aching and tired and he felt sluggish and like he was going to collapse.
He slumped on the floor, considering taking a break, but then he shook his head, knowing why he couldn't.
----------
A week or two ago, after practice, he went out to get something to eat, being careful to disguise himself so that no one could recognize him. He was picking out a few snacks to bring home for the other boys when he heard some girls talking down the aisle.
"Hey, have you seen that Exo teaser?"
"You mean the one with Kai in it?"
"No, I meant the other one."
"Babo, there is no 'other' one. Kai's in pretty much all of the teasers."
"I don't see why though. The other members deserve to have the spotlight. I used to think he was cool, but now it's just annoying."
"I know right? He's not even that talented. It's so boring now. I think Luhan and Sehun are much better."
"Yeah, I agree. He's not that great, just overrated now."
"SM should just call the group 'Kai and Company' and be done with it."
The girls rolled their eyes, giggling, and went to take their purchases to the cash register.
Kai didn't even realize he had his fists clenched until he looked down to realize he had crushed a bag of chips in his hand.
Quickly shoving the bag back onto the rack, he whirled around and bolted out of the store, the bell ringing madly behind him.
When he got home, Chen and Sehun swarmed him to see if he had food, but he just roughly shoved them aside, making a beeline for his room.
He closed the door behind him and opened his laptop, going onto the Internet and searching 'Exo Kai'.
Soon, the screen was blown up with comments about him.
"Damn it, SM, STOP IT WITH KAI ALREADY!"
"I don't know why people are raving so much about Kai. He's not that good of a dancer."
"Oh, it's Kai again! Surprise! ...NOT. Ugh. So sick of him. It's getting boring."
"Is he supposed to be the face of EXO or something? He's not even cute. He's ruining the group for me."
Kai sat there, staring at the screen in disbelief, but for some reason, he kept reading and kept scrolling through the comments.
He was so engrossed with the reading that he didn't even hear when Chen came to his room an hour later, pounding on the door and telling him that dinner was ready.
----------
And now, even with the music turned up loud enough to shake the room and his heartbeat pounding in his ears, he can't get the whispers of 'boring' 'talentless' and 'overrated' out of his head.
Picking himself off of the ground, he stumbled over to the music player to restart the song.
He began to dance again, but his moves were sloppy and uncoordinated and he ended up slipping and twisting his ankle.
Groaning in pain, he sat down, clutching his ankle. After probing it a bit, he figured it was only a mild sprain but, after trying to get up again, saw that he shouldn't try to dance on it any time soon.
Sighing in defeat, he blew air up at his bangs and stared at himself in the mirror.
When he noticed a figure standing at the door in the reflection, he scrambled backwards a bit, choking out a scream.
The girl at the door chuckled softly and Kai blushed, seeing that it was only Yoona.
"Hey Jongin, what are you doing here so early in the morning?" She asked, walking over and plopped down onto the floor next to him, gracefully crossing her legs.
"Just practicing." He mumbled, embarrassed as he massaged his ankle.
"Didn't your practice end at 11? Don't tell me you stayed behind to practice for this long? You need your rest, Jongin, you know that." She said, eyebrows knitting together with worry.
"But I need to practice. I need to do better. I need to be perfect." Kai snapped.
The angry look in his eyes quickly dissolved into a defeated one and he winced, inhaling sharply when he accidentally pressed too hard on the slightly swollen joint.
Yoona stared at the younger boy sympathetically before reaching out and touching his shoulder.
"You don't need to be perfect. I know you're probably really stressed with all the attention that SM has been giving you, but they're only pushing you because they see potential. And, despite everything that's going on, they don't expect you to be perfect. You're good enough as you are. You're really talented, Jongin."
Kai closed his eyes, trying to focus on her words but he couldn't, and he turned away, sighing.
"No, I'm not. I'm not good enough. Not yet. I just need to practice a little more..."
"It's not easy being center stage. It's not easy having to be in the spotlight so much. It's hard, I know. You seem to be at your limit, but people still want more. They keep saying you're not good enough, they keep saying you don't deserve to be in the front, but they don't know anything. Not really. They don't know how hard you've worked to earn your spot. Yeah, it's exhilarating to be center stage, but it's also scary because you can't see if there's anyone behind you, supporting you. You can only see the sea of people, constantly judging you just because they don't know." Yoona said, staring at the mirror.
Kai looked up in surprise, making eye contact with her in the reflection.
"Don't look so surprised. I've been there, done that." Yoona smiled at his expression.
"How do you do it, noona? I try to tell myself not to let it get to me, but once you hear something too many times, you start to believe it." Kai said dejectedly.
"Then don't listen. Don't listen to them, and focus on your goal. Focus on what you came here to do. Don't forget, you're not alone. You may be center stage but if you look to your side, you'll see that you're surrounded by people who love you and believe in you. You'll see your band members. You'll see our voice instructors, our dance teachers, our stylists. You'll see me!" Yoona said, flashing a bright smile and holding up the peace sign cheekily.
Kai laughed, the first time he had genuinely done so in a little while.
"You'll be okay, Jongin-ah. Trust me." She said, her voice gentle.
Kai tried not to blush at the way his name seemed to roll of her tongue so smoothly.
"Thanks, noona. I-I really needed that. I mean, someone to talk to. And you've been through all this before. So I trust you. And..." He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
Yoona laughed, her eyes crinkling up into little crescent shapes.
"Thank you. I really mean it." Kai said quietly, making eye contact with her despite the embarrassing red that was spreading on his cheeks.
"No problem. Just remember, I'm always here for you, okay?" Yoona said, reaching out for his hand and lacing their fingers together.
Kai's breath caught in his throat and he looked up at Yoona, his blush becoming more obvious, and she beamed brightly at him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.
He returned the smile shyly, his eyes trailing down to look at their intertwined hands.
Suddenly, Yoona stood up from her spot, keeping her hand in his.
"Come on, it's almost 4 now. You should go home and wash up and sleep." She said, helping him up to a standing position, careful of his ankle.
"Yeah, I guess I should." Kai said, his eyes still on how her slender fingers looked between his own.
"Go home and rest a little so you can meet me back here at 9." Yoona said, swinging their hands together.
Kai looked up to meet her eyes, slightly confused.
"Huh?" He tilted his head a little.
"Meet me here at 9, okay? Let's go out for breakfast together." She said, raising her eyebrows as she waited for his response.
Kai grinned, his smile so wide that he probably looked incredibly stupid, and nodded.
"Yeah, sure. I'd love to."
"Great! See you in a bit, Jongin-ah." Yoona said, leaning up to plant a soft kiss on his cheek before pulling away and striding to the door, looking back to wave at him before disappearing down the hallway.
Kai turned to his reflection in his mirror and he could see that his cheeks were flushed red and his eyes were undeniably bright.
Center stage was a scary place, but at least he knew that he wasn't alone and, with his bandmates (and Yoona) by his side, he'd be okay.
* the negative comments about kai are actual comments that i've read on tumblr/allkpop/youtube/etc
** i feel bad for him (& yoona) ;-; neither of them deserve the hate that they get (... well, no artist deserves any hate, but i feel SM artists get a lot more than others for no reason ;p)
*** it was a bad ending. i just didn't know how to end it. i'm horrible at endings. asdfghjkl.