Glee fic!
I'm really loving the show Glee right now, and I really, really love Puck/Rachel. Don't ask me why, I just do. So here is my first Glee fic.
Title: Belief
Author: AyLee Cambell
Pairing: Puck/Rachel - I seriously love this pairing!
Rating: T
Warnings: Slight spoilers for episodes aired and for episode 8 - mash up. Not beta’d
Summary: She’s the only one who has ever believed in him. Puck’s thoughts on how they ended up where they are. Slightly future fic.
He’s never had anyone not related to him believe in him. Everyone thinks he’s just some dumb loser. Which is probably why he picked on everyone until he was cool and popular, until they were all afraid to say things like that to his face.
Still, he hears the whispers and knows they all think it. Lima Loser, dumb jock, dead end life, and going nowhere. It hurts and he’s almost come to accept it, even if he wants more from life. If everyone else can see his future then why can’t he? Everyone would laugh if they knew any of his hopes or ideas. They would probably all say they were impossible too. Something not for him.
So when Rachel Berry, the one person in this town he knows, just freaking knows, is going to get out and make something of herself. When she looks at him and tells him she believes in him or that she thinks he’s amazing or that he can do whatever he wants to, or that he’s smart, well that makes him feel like he can do anything, or that anything is possible, even his dreams.
A year ago he had been throwing slushies in her face and now here they were on her bed, laying together and talking about anything. It’s amazing to him that they’re here, together, after months of dating and even longer years of avoidance or bullying.
They had been through a lot together, and he was glad that he’d asked her out, even if it had started because he’d been hoping to please his mom. It had changed pretty fast into something else and he would never regret it. Even if he had gotten a few slushies in the face because of it. They were strong together, and could be each other’s real self and not worry about anything, it was something he never expected to have with anyone.
Rachel had held him when he cried when Quinn told him she gave their daughter away and refused to tell him anything more. He hadn’t even felt like some sissy-gay boy afterwards. She hadn’t made him feel bad and didn’t tell him any false pitying words, just held him and was there. She’s always been there for him, even when it came out he was really the father of Quinn’s baby. Sure there had been a few tense moments but she hadn’t judged him like everyone else did. She had listened to his side of the story and believed him.
Quinn had said he’d gotten her drunk but that hadn’t been true. She’d been drunk before she even saw him. They’d been at the same party that night and he’d been drunk and pissed off, but mostly drunk. It had just happened and he’d known it was a mistake as soon as he woke up and remembered. He didn’t like Quinn, the she-bitch of the school. Sure she was hot, but she had been Finn’s girl and off limits. Santana had been bad enough, he hadn’t been looking for a bitchier replacement.
Having her call him a loser and tell him that he wasn’t even good enough to take care of his own mistakes, or his baby, had hurt. He wasn’t a deadbeat like his dad, but she had pretty much said he was. He had been mad, and more then a little disgusted with her. She wanted to pretend that his baby was Finn’s? he almost would have let her but he wasn’t that type of guy, even if everyone believed he was.
So he had joined glee because he wanted to keep an eye on her, maybe prove to her he could be a good dad. He didn’t want her, and he was sure she thought he did, but he did want to be in his child’s life. Even if it was only in small ways.
So he watched Quinn and Finn, (and did they really have to have matching names? Really? Couldn’t they have tried dating someone that didn’t make them seem like some demented nursery rhyme?) and he let his best friend believe he was the father.
Sometimes he wanted to hit Finn to see if he could knock some sense into his friend. It’s not like he’d damage anything if he couldn’t. But then he’d realize that he is letting his best friend believe he’s the father of a baby that isn’t really his and he realizes that he’s a scumbag where Finn’s just a little stupid. It’s a trade he would almost willingly make.
He wishes he could take that night back. Tell Quinn to go to hell when she asked him to take her home. Wishes that he and Finn were still best friends instead of this unsure half real, half false friendship that they have now. Finn and Quinn are still together, surprisingly. They did break up for a week or two but they got back together quickly enough and now that the baby is gone everything almost seems like normal for them.
Except that now Finn is a little less naïve (he’s read almost any sex-ed book he could check out, including sex for dummies.) and Finn gets a little tense anytime some guy looks at Quinn too long. (Or when he’s in the room, but like he’s going to make that mistake again. There isn’t enough alcohol in the world to make him touch that. Especially not when he has Rachel.)
But none of that is the point. The point is that he and Rachel are still together after months of dating, and she believes in him when no one else does and she makes him believe in himself. He’s a better person around her. (And most of their school is grateful)
He’s pretty sure he’s totally in love with her. She could shatter him if she wanted. It scares the crap out of him, and he hasn’t told her yet, but he thinks he will soon. Still, he thinks she knows sometimes. When she smiles at him when they’re like this, laying on her bed with her head on his chest and him running his fingers through her hair and just talking. Sometimes she’ll look at him and he’s pretty sure she loves him too.
She could shatter his heart, but he’s almost positive she wont. He’s willing to take the risk. It’s something he’s never been willing to risk before, but he’s starting to think it’s okay. He has a feeling she would never try to purposely hurt him in any way. Just like he’ll never try to hurt her, cause he’s pretty sure he could shatter her heart too if he wanted to. But he doesn’t.
So here they are on her bed and it’s more perfect then anything he’s ever thought of. He has a girl he loves, who loves him back, and who believes in him. For the first time in a long time he actually believes in himself too. The future may be unknown, but he’s sure it’s going to rock. He’s not going to turn out to be some dumb jock Lima Loser, not with Rachel as his little guiding star (And those are so her words not his, he’s not that corny, changed man or not.)
And he has changed. Not just with his vocab, but with other things. His grades are up, he’s attending math most days of the week, and he’s just generally nicer most of the time. But not too nice, he ain’t a pussy.
“Noah?” Rachel asks and he looks down at her.
She’s the only one, besides his mom, who is allowed to call him that. Nicer or not, the last guy who called him that regretted it immediately. He’s changed, but he hasn’t changed that much. He’s still Puck. Just with some improvements. (Like the vocab. Blame her, it’s so her fault.)
“Yeah?”
“I’m ready.” Rachel says, sitting up to look down at him and she’s smiling one of those smiles. The I-love-you smiles. He can’t help but smile back. (and it’s probably his dopey I-love-you-too smile but he really can’t bring himself to care about how it makes him look.)
“Ready for what?” He asks, trying to think of anyplace they were supposed to be. Nothing is coming to mind. They already had glee practice earlier and her parents are out of town.
Rachel laughs and leans forward and kisses him.
“I’m ready.” She says when she pulls back and she gives him a look.
“Really? That ready?” He asks, hoping that she is. He’s going to stop thinking in a moment because as much as they have fooled around and done pretty much everything else, they haven’t done that last step yet.
“Are you sure?” He’s careful to keep his thoughts to himself. He’s been trying not to pressure her even though he’s been dying for almost forever.
Rachel nods and smiles at him. “I’m positive.”
“When?” he asks. He’s pretty sure she has some planned out way that she wants to do this, and he’s okay with that. It will be her first time, and it should be special. Even if they have done practically everything else.
“Now.” She says and smirks just a little.
“Now, now?” He asks shocked and more then just a little turned on.
She just nods and sits back to pull her shirt off. She laughs at the look on his face, and he pulls her to him.
“Right now?” He asks, just to make sure.
Rachel laughs and he’s kissing her again. She helps take off his shirt and well, that’s when he stops thinking.
(Peace out, suckers.)
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