Hymns of Angels Don't Sound Like This Chapter 11
Title: Hymns Of Angels Don't Sound Like This
Authors: azimmermann & bodiesnotourown
Artist: kassiopeiar
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural, High School AU
Rating: PG
Chapter Word Count: 4389
Warnings: None.
The sun shone bright into Dean’s eyes the next morning, sneaking in through a gap in the curtains. He squinted his eyes shut tight and rolled over away from the offensive light, only to find the bed empty. His head pounded faintly with the last legs of a hangover. He pulled on the first pair of jeans he found, not completely convinced they were his and not Cas’. Not bothering with a shirt, he padded barefoot out of the bedroom and down the hallway. The aftermath of the party was apparent everywhere. He stepped over an unconscious Balthazar on the landing as he headed downstairs and narrowly avoided tripping over Gabriel sprawled out in the living room. He could see other students passed out on couches and pillows or slumped against walls. The house was a disaster.
He searched room after room, trying to find Castiel, but had no luck. Under the kitchen table he found Anna and Israfael sleeping in a nest of blankets. Becky was curled around a couch cushion while her boyfriend, Chuck, lay abandoned on the floor. Still no Castiel. The basement was the last place to search; he side stepped a few more kids on his way down and heard the faint strumming of a guitar floating up the stairs. He followed the sound to the cross-legged form sitting in the middle of the floor amidst the remains of the previous night.
He picked his way across the floor; grabbing and water bottle from one of the coolers still placed around and sat down on the floor behind Castiel, back to back. Castiel strummed his acoustic guitar quietly for a while, neither boy acknowledge each other. Dean took a drink from the bottle and spun it in his hands, listening.
Castiel continued to play, his voice joined in, singing the opening lines to “Hallelujah”. Dean tilted his head back, resting it against Castiel’s shoulder. He stared up at the ceiling, listening to the words spill from his friend’s lips. In the morning light, last night seemed a little more horrible and a little more distant. Like a nightmare you remember after you wake up but you can’t quite remember what you had been running from. The part of him trained by his father to analyze and solve cases poked at him, something about Castiel’s story was not what it seemed. Dean continued to shove the growing panic down as far as he could, avoiding that train of thought entirely. Surely Cas would have told him something that bad.
And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
and love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah.
Dean closed his eyes; Castiel sounded as tired as Dean felt. He lost himself in the sound of his partners voice for a while until the singing ended. Castiel continued to play, simply strumming chords that wandered about with no definite point. Dean stood up, leaning over Castiel and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
“Let’s get some food in you.”
Castiel made a face, “Is your solution to every problem food, Dean?”
“Yep,” he said with a grin. “Now get off your butt. Ellen makes some killer pancakes.”
The other boy set aside his guitar and took Dean’s offered hand. Dean could see him caving at the mention of Ellen’s cooking. “Fine, fine. Showers first, though. You smell like a bar.” Dean’s grin took on a cocky edge.
“I knew it. You just want to see me naked, I’m on to you!” He laughed as Castiel swatted at him, pulling him up the stairs and out of the basement.
Once showered - alone, unfortunately - and out of the house, Castiel started to look a little less fragile. Dean had even managed to get a few smiles out of him in the car. They pulled into the parking lot of the Roadhouse. He’d picked it on purpose, not only because Ellen’s breakfasts were legendary but - and he’d never admit to this - having Ellen close and pestering them was soothing and he was pretty sure Castiel was enjoying it as well. She’d taken one look at him when they walked in and bustled over to wrap Castiel in the kind of hug only mom’s could give. Dean had seen tears in Castiel’s eyes when she finally let him go. Nothing like having a mom fuss over you.
“So what are you going to do now?” Dean asked. They had been discussing the music deal that Crowley had essentially blackmailed Castiel with, but with fewer words and in a very roundabout way. Castiel glanced at him from behind the mountain of pancakes Ellen had heaped onto his plate.
“About the deal with Meg?” He was still avoiding saying Crowley’s name when he could. “Nothing. It was made very clear that if I ended things, it was over.”
“Dick.” He felt rewarded when Castiel chuckled lightly.
“Quite. The only problem is letting everyone else down.” His voice sounded thick and he stared down at his fork, pushing food around on his plate. “We only got the deal because of him, so…”
“Hey,” Dean slid his hand over the table and held it out for Castiel to take. He only flushed a little when the singer’s calloused fingertips brushed over his. A quick look told him that no one was looking their way, except for an overly nosey Ellen, who quickly went back to stacking dishes.
“I just, I don’t know how to tell them.”
“It’ll be fine, man. They’re crazy, but they’re your family. They’ll understand.” Dean ran a thumb lightly over the back of Castiel’s hand. Castiel just huffed miserably.
“It’s not the deal itself that I’m worried about, Dean. It’s who I made the deal through, that’s the problem. If I tell them I lost the deal because I dumped him, they’ll insist on finding out whom. Gabriel will go ballistic.”
“I still don’t know why you can’t just tell them who it was in the first place. I mean, I’m the first person to agree that that English douche is an insufferable asshole, but does it really matter to them?” Castiel smiled ruefully and shook his head.
“He’s Scottish, Dean. And I don’t know all the details, you’d have to drag that out of Gabriel, but from what I’ve been told they actually used to be friends. Something happened and ever since they’ve been at one another’s throats constantly.”
“I’m surprised you rebelled enough to date him.”
“I didn’t think it was fair to judge someone I had never met for some nebulous accusations of wrong doing, and he just seemed so…” He broke off and Dean squeezed his hand before withdrawing it so they could both finish their breakfast. It sucked watching Castiel tear himself up over someone has horrible as Crowley. Life had been easier when he only needed to care about Sammy, but he wouldn’t trade Cas for anything.
Luckily, before Castiel could lapse back into his funk Dean had been working so hard to pull him out of, Ellen strolled over and dropped a plate in the middle of the table. A tall, fluffy cinnamon roll slathered in thick white icing sat on it. Dean was stuffed from pancakes but he didn’t even care.
“Oh man, Aunt Ellen! Thanks!” He dug in with gusto and she laughed, smiling fondly at Castiel.
“Eat up, Castiel.” Castiel smiled up at her. “I apologize Mrs. Harvelle-Singer but-“
“Ellen.”
“…Ellen, but you’ve been too kind already. I really should pay for all this.” Ellen grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the table, straddling the back of it.
“Oh no you don’t. You’ve done more than enough to get this brat on track.” She said, tilting her head towards Dean. “Putting some meat on that skinny body of yours is the least I can do.” Dean looked up, still shoveling bites of cinnamon roll into his mouth. Castiel blushed at her praise, his eyes sliding to Dean’s as he took a small piece of the cinnamon roll. Dean watched as Castiel popped the piece into his mouth and choked on his own bite at the sound his friend made upon tasting the pastry. It was a sound made for the bedroom and not for the breakfast table.
Ellen smacked Dean on the back a few times, laughing at his misfortune. “I will admit though, that I have ulterior motives for plying you with my food.” Castiel looked at her with interest. “I was wondering if I could get a copy of your music. The bar needs a little liveliness at night and Bobby and I were thinking of hiring some acts to play a few nights a week. I’d like to hear your music.” Dean tried his hardest not to laugh at Castiel’s deer-in-the-headlights look. Ellen waited politely for Cas to respond. He’d cave, Dean knew, no one said no to Ellen.
“Of course…I can get you a demo I guess.”
“That would be great!” She said brightly, patting his hand.
“I’d have to ask the others about playing…”
“No rush, it’s just something we’re thinking about.” She slipped just a touch of disappointment into her tone. Dean knew this tactic of hers, she was a pro at getting what she wanted. The wounded look on Castiel’s face at Ellen’s “disappointment” was enough to tell Dean that she had hooked him. The singer sighed.
“Actually, Gabriel would probably be pleased with that. I’ll make sure to give Dean a copy of some songs, if that’s okay?” Ellen smiled and stood, ruffling Castiel’s hair. Dean hid his grin with his mug, taking a sip of coffee.
“Oh, that’s fine! I appreciate it!” With that she turned on her heel and went back to work. Castiel looked utterly bewildered as he popped the last few bites of cinnamon roll into his mouth.
“What just happened?”
“She got you, dude.” Castiel made a thoughtful sound, his eyes tracking Ellen’s movement as she worked.
“She’s really good at that.”
Dean just laughed.
Despite the endless ribbing from Castiel’s family, Dean’s week passed blissfully. He endured an hour in the morning of Balthazar asking pointedly inappropriate questions, followed by Gabriel and Israfael in American Literature, and then all of them during lunch. It was like running a gauntlet of Miltons everyday.
He had a little brother with two unbroken arms, a roof over their heads that wasn’t the Impala’s, and people who actually cared about them. Not to mention Castiel. Crowley had been absent from their shared Calculus class, however, and that set Dean on edge. He’d learned enough from his father to when to expect an attack and that was the feeling he had now. It made him reluctant to let Castiel out of his sight. The bruises were fading from his skin and Castiel seemed to be relaxing bit by bit, but Dean still worried.
The second highlight was his new ability to touch Cas. Brushing hands while walking, grabbing his shoulder, wrapping his arms around him, and of course the kissing. It was becoming an addiction, the quick rush he got just from the contact. Ellen and Bobby started to enforce an open door policy to make sure studying was actually occurring. It seemed like a ridiculous gesture to Dean; since they hadn’t progressed any further than kissing and Castiel was a stickler for getting work done before having fun.
Dean also worried about pushing him too far, too fast. So he had, in an uncharacteristically charitable gesture, shoved his raging teenage hormones to the side and tried to focus on taking it slow.
It might kill him.
He spent more time in the shower than was necessary but it was worth every inch that Castiel relaxed when they were together. He was even planning a real date for them, another first for Dean Winchester. Things were settling down into a rhythm and Sioux Falls was starting to carry the soft edge of ‘home’. So when he walked into the Milton household the next Friday, he was caught off guard by the yelling echoing through the house.
“So that’s it then? You’re just going to roll over and do whatever mommy and daddy say?”
“Gabriel!”
“No, Anna! Why would you even give her the demo if you were just going to give up on us anyways!”
“Gabriel, please, it’s just-”
“Oh I get it, Castiel. Go be the perfect Ivy League college boy. Leave us all behind!”
Dean turned the corner into the living room as Gabriel stormed passed him and out to the back patio. Castiel was standing in the middle looking after where his older brother had gone, Anna next to him with her hand on his shoulder. Israfael was sitting in a chair next to Balthazar, who sat on the arm. Dean cleared his throat, breaking the quiet, and spurring the room’s occupants into motion. The Milton cousins both stood, and after Israfael quietly hugged Castiel, they both left as well, headed towards the guesthouse. Castiel released a small noise of pain and Anna wrapped her arms around him.
“I’m so sorry Cassy. I am. I know this isn’t how you wanted it to go, but they’ll come around. You’ll see.”
“But, Gabriel.” He murmured into her hair, almost too quiet for Dean to hear.
“You’re still our nerdy little brother, Castiel, and you always will be. Just give him a chance to calm down.”
He hugged her tightly and then let go.
“Thanks, Anna.”
She smiled at him, cupping his cheek with her palm. “No problem.” She went to follow Gabriel through the kitchen but managed a small smile in Dean’s direction before disappearing. He sucked in a deep breath and then walked over to Castiel, sliding his hand into the other boys and squeezing.
“Are you ready to go? Ellen will kill us if we are late for dinner.”
Castiel looked up at him gratefully. “Yeah, let me just grab my bag.”
Khaki messenger bag in tow, they set off for Dean’s home.
The smell coming from the Havelle-Singer household was heavenly. After the week he had had and the fight with his family, the chaos of Dean’s home was a welcome change of pace. With tutoring and as a by-product of being friends with Dean, it had come to feel like a second home and there were times when he wanted to melt into the warmth. He hadn’t wanted to lie to his family about choosing college over music, even if he did harbor a desire to get a degree. He knew they would be even angrier with him if they found out he lied, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell them because if he did he wouldn’t be able to stop. The idea of other people knowing what really occurred sent a sharp stab of dread and shame. Not to mention that his family or Dean could get hurt. That they knew he was attacked was enough. This was better.
“Cas?”
He snapped out of his thoughts and found himself looking into Dean’s concerned eyes.
“Are you okay?”
Castiel just smiled and dropped his bag next to where he kicked his shoes off in the front entryway and followed Dean into the heart of the house, Ellen’s kitchen. He was greeted with a full smile and a tight embrace from said kitchen’s ruler. It surprised him and he blinked away tears. It really was frustrating how often he caught himself crying as of late but hugs like Ellen’s soothed a hurt he wasn’t even aware of more often than not.
He had hints of the feeling from Anna, but this was different. This was what a mom felt like and with a deep ache he wished he could keep the Winchester-Harvelle-Singer family forever. He quickly wiped his eyes when she pulled away. He needed to work harder on keeping it together or else people would start asking questions and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it from the sharp eyes of his sister or Dean forever.
“I hope you’re hungry, Cas!”
She withdrew fully and his eyes widened at the small feast overtaking the table.
“Wow, Aunt Ellen! This look awesome!” Sam burst into the room followed by Jo whom was warming up to him bit by painstakingly earned bit. Bobby was close behind, going to the sink to wash motor oil and other car related junk off of his hands. Dean laughed from behind him and he fought the urge to turn around and trap the sound with his mouth.
“Jeez, Aunt El, what do I need to do in order to get you to bribe me like this?”
Castiel laughed as the queen of the little family smacked Dean with the wooden spoon she held in her hand.
“Dean Winchester, I am not bribing Castiel, simply going to discuss a business proposition with him.” She smiled sweetly at him and the singer swallowed. He was starting to see why Dean and Sam kept insisting she was terrifying.
They sat down to the best lasagna he had ever put in his mouth and he lost himself in the chatter, trying not to think about how unlikely it was that any of his family besides Anna were likely to be speaking with him anytime soon. About half-way through his meal, the sensation of being in over his head returned when Ellen pushed her plate away folded her arms on the table.
“Now, Cas, Bobby and I both liked the tracks that you gave us for the bar and I wanted to talk to you about hiring your band to play a few nights. You would be paid, like we would any band, and if you blow it, you would be fired the same, just in case you think I am only asking since you and Dean are close.”
Castiel shifted in his seat, excited for a few moments at the thought of getting the hell out of the basement and into an actual venue but it was brought crashing down at the memory of Gabriel walking out on him. He cleared his throat.
“That’s really awesome Mrs. Harvell, uh, Ellen, but I do not know what is going to happen with the-” He tapered off, caught off guard by her suddenly outstretched hand. Ellen twitched her fingers in a ‘gimme’ gesture and Dean only gave him an amused shrug when he glanced over.
Bobby coughed.
“She wants your phone, idgit.”
Without thinking about it, he pulled it out and handed it over to her. For all that Dean complained that his family was so confusing, Castiel had to argue that Dean’s could be just as mystifying as he watched Ellen fiddle around with his phone.
That is until she put it to her ear and starting talking.
“Hello? Gabriel? This is Ellen, Dean’s...oh yes. Yes this does mean you are in trouble. Smart boy.”
Castiel jerked and leaned across the table in a futile attempt to grab his phone. When she stood and walked away from the table, he followed.
“Please don’t. Can I have that back?”
Ellen ignored him.
“Yes, I’m just wondering why Castiel seems to think that your band might not be able to perform in the future?” She paused and Castiel could hear Gabriel’s tinny voice coming out but couldn’t understand what he was saying. He knew he looked extremely graceless as he tried to get his phone away from her but chose not to care. His brother not killing him took precedence.
“So you’re upset that your little brother is deciding to get a college degree? Mmhmm. Leaving you all behind, right. Uh hunh. Well Gabe,” Castiel could hear the politeness fade out of her voice. “you need to listen to me, boy, because Castiel is the only brother you’ve got. Yeah you may not be related in the traditional sense, but you all need to stick together and trust that Castiel is doing what he thinks is right. Yes I mean that you have to support his decision and you need to quit your bitching. He is a junior. You still have over a year to work on music before he leaves for college, wherever he chooses to go. Do not destroy your relationship with him just because you’re a selfish brat.”
Castiel stared at her in awe when he heard nothing from the receiver.
“Do you understand?” Her voice was back into pleasant tones. Castiel heard a short burst of sound from his phone and took a step back from Ellen’s pleased grin. No wonder her child and the Winchester brothers were so cowed by her.
“That’s wonderful. I knew you would. Now, what do you kids normally do on Fridays and Saturdays?”
The evening later found Dean and Castiel studying in his room (“Yes, Aunt Ellen, the door is open.”) Castiel for his Latin final and Dean working on his last project for Engineering, not that Dean was particularly worried. Devereaux had basically already given him an A for the year simply based on how far ahead of the rest of the class he was. The same went for shop. He could rebuild an engine with his eyes closed. The rest of his classes weren’t quite up that high but he was pretty sure he’d end up with mostly B’s.
He was sure he would owe Castiel his soul by the end of the school year. That unfortunately lead him down the thorny path of thinking about the singer’s future plans. He turned around in his chair, straddling the back of it and resting his arms on the back. Castiel looked up from where he was sprawled on Dean’s bed with his Latin notes and textbook. Dean cleared his throat.
“So college, huh?”
Castiel flinched before meeting his eyes which was all the actual confirmation Dean needed.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“I hadn’t decided. Not about when to tell you or even about what I was thinking of doing.”
“Gabe told me your parents came down hard on you about it but are you really just going to cave like that? I thought the band was, well, it.”
Castiel sighed and rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling.
“You know I do actually want to go to college. I want a degree. I love performing and my family and I wish there was a way I could do both, but I can’t expect them to just follow me wherever I end up. Its more than my father’s expectations as well.”
“Follow you? No local school I guess.” Dean swallowed, trying to ignore the empty pit that formed in his stomach at the thought of Castiel going too far for him to follow. His friend quickly met his gaze but quickly flicked away.
“There’s this school in Boston.” he said quietly and Dean was sure he was going to be a little sick. “It’s the Berklee College of Music. It’s a small school but I can do what I want there. Maybe major in music business or production. Something so that after graduation, if they forgive me, we can restart the band and not need to rely on other people.” His voice hardened with bitterness briefly, before smoothing out again. “Not that it matters. It costs almost forty grand a year to go and since it’s not Harvard or Yale, there’s no way I’d be able to convince my parents to help pay for it. Or even be able to get in for that matter.” He sat up to look at Dean who just tried to cheer him up with a smile.
“Oh whatever, man. They’ll take you in a heartbeat and I’m sure you’d be able to get some sort of scholarship.” He nudged Castiel’s knee with his own and got a huffed laugh in return.
“We’ll see how Gabriel and the rest feel about it. What about you though? Your GPA is actually respectable,” Castiel dodged the pencil lobbed at him, “and you don’t seem too enamored with Sioux Falls.”
It was Dean’s turn to sigh and stare at his not so very interesting ceiling. “I don’t have a freaking clue. I never even thought I’d graduate. I had actually been planning on dropping out but then those little shits broke Sam’s arm and I wound up here with some nerdy little dude forcing me to give a shit about Hemingway.” It succeeded in winning a smile from Castiel. “But anyways, Sam the college bound kid. He already has his sights set on fancy ivy league schools so he can be a lawyer and save all the innocent people or something.” He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.
“Me? I figured I’d just work on cars. Maybe with Bobby.”
“Why not go to college?”
“Maybe. I can’t until Sam graduates though. I can’t just leave th
e kid after everything, even if he says it’s fine. I mean I know Bobby and Aunt Ellen would take care of him, but I’m incredibly paranoid where that kid is concerned.”
Castiel placed his hand lightly on Dean’s knee.
“I understand.” He sounded supportive but Dean could hear in Castiel’s voice, the same fear he had. What happens when we graduate and one of us leaves?
He responded by reaching out and hooking his fingers in the collar of the singer’s shirt and pulled him forward intending to share a quick kiss. It spiraled a little out of control, however, and by the time they separated they were both flushed and Dean’s smile to Castiel was lopsided as hell.
“Well it’s a good thing we still have a year and some change, yeah?”
Castiel matched his smile and then abruptly smacked Dean upside the head with his notebook. “Back to work Winchester. No more kissing until you’re done with the math for your project.”
“Aw, man, come on! A man has needs!”
“I think you will survive. Though the faster you finish the quicker we can get back to it, so maybe there should be less whining and more equating.”
Dean just groaned good-naturedly and got to work, vowing to get back at Castiel the next chance he got.
Authors: azimmermann & bodiesnotourown
Artist: kassiopeiar
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural, High School AU
Rating: PG
Chapter Word Count: 4389
Warnings: None.
The sun shone bright into Dean’s eyes the next morning, sneaking in through a gap in the curtains. He squinted his eyes shut tight and rolled over away from the offensive light, only to find the bed empty. His head pounded faintly with the last legs of a hangover. He pulled on the first pair of jeans he found, not completely convinced they were his and not Cas’. Not bothering with a shirt, he padded barefoot out of the bedroom and down the hallway. The aftermath of the party was apparent everywhere. He stepped over an unconscious Balthazar on the landing as he headed downstairs and narrowly avoided tripping over Gabriel sprawled out in the living room. He could see other students passed out on couches and pillows or slumped against walls. The house was a disaster.
He searched room after room, trying to find Castiel, but had no luck. Under the kitchen table he found Anna and Israfael sleeping in a nest of blankets. Becky was curled around a couch cushion while her boyfriend, Chuck, lay abandoned on the floor. Still no Castiel. The basement was the last place to search; he side stepped a few more kids on his way down and heard the faint strumming of a guitar floating up the stairs. He followed the sound to the cross-legged form sitting in the middle of the floor amidst the remains of the previous night.
He picked his way across the floor; grabbing and water bottle from one of the coolers still placed around and sat down on the floor behind Castiel, back to back. Castiel strummed his acoustic guitar quietly for a while, neither boy acknowledge each other. Dean took a drink from the bottle and spun it in his hands, listening.
Castiel continued to play, his voice joined in, singing the opening lines to “Hallelujah”. Dean tilted his head back, resting it against Castiel’s shoulder. He stared up at the ceiling, listening to the words spill from his friend’s lips. In the morning light, last night seemed a little more horrible and a little more distant. Like a nightmare you remember after you wake up but you can’t quite remember what you had been running from. The part of him trained by his father to analyze and solve cases poked at him, something about Castiel’s story was not what it seemed. Dean continued to shove the growing panic down as far as he could, avoiding that train of thought entirely. Surely Cas would have told him something that bad.
And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
and love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah.
Dean closed his eyes; Castiel sounded as tired as Dean felt. He lost himself in the sound of his partners voice for a while until the singing ended. Castiel continued to play, simply strumming chords that wandered about with no definite point. Dean stood up, leaning over Castiel and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
“Let’s get some food in you.”
Castiel made a face, “Is your solution to every problem food, Dean?”
“Yep,” he said with a grin. “Now get off your butt. Ellen makes some killer pancakes.”
The other boy set aside his guitar and took Dean’s offered hand. Dean could see him caving at the mention of Ellen’s cooking. “Fine, fine. Showers first, though. You smell like a bar.” Dean’s grin took on a cocky edge.
“I knew it. You just want to see me naked, I’m on to you!” He laughed as Castiel swatted at him, pulling him up the stairs and out of the basement.
Once showered - alone, unfortunately - and out of the house, Castiel started to look a little less fragile. Dean had even managed to get a few smiles out of him in the car. They pulled into the parking lot of the Roadhouse. He’d picked it on purpose, not only because Ellen’s breakfasts were legendary but - and he’d never admit to this - having Ellen close and pestering them was soothing and he was pretty sure Castiel was enjoying it as well. She’d taken one look at him when they walked in and bustled over to wrap Castiel in the kind of hug only mom’s could give. Dean had seen tears in Castiel’s eyes when she finally let him go. Nothing like having a mom fuss over you.
“So what are you going to do now?” Dean asked. They had been discussing the music deal that Crowley had essentially blackmailed Castiel with, but with fewer words and in a very roundabout way. Castiel glanced at him from behind the mountain of pancakes Ellen had heaped onto his plate.
“About the deal with Meg?” He was still avoiding saying Crowley’s name when he could. “Nothing. It was made very clear that if I ended things, it was over.”
“Dick.” He felt rewarded when Castiel chuckled lightly.
“Quite. The only problem is letting everyone else down.” His voice sounded thick and he stared down at his fork, pushing food around on his plate. “We only got the deal because of him, so…”
“Hey,” Dean slid his hand over the table and held it out for Castiel to take. He only flushed a little when the singer’s calloused fingertips brushed over his. A quick look told him that no one was looking their way, except for an overly nosey Ellen, who quickly went back to stacking dishes.
“I just, I don’t know how to tell them.”
“It’ll be fine, man. They’re crazy, but they’re your family. They’ll understand.” Dean ran a thumb lightly over the back of Castiel’s hand. Castiel just huffed miserably.
“It’s not the deal itself that I’m worried about, Dean. It’s who I made the deal through, that’s the problem. If I tell them I lost the deal because I dumped him, they’ll insist on finding out whom. Gabriel will go ballistic.”
“I still don’t know why you can’t just tell them who it was in the first place. I mean, I’m the first person to agree that that English douche is an insufferable asshole, but does it really matter to them?” Castiel smiled ruefully and shook his head.
“He’s Scottish, Dean. And I don’t know all the details, you’d have to drag that out of Gabriel, but from what I’ve been told they actually used to be friends. Something happened and ever since they’ve been at one another’s throats constantly.”
“I’m surprised you rebelled enough to date him.”
“I didn’t think it was fair to judge someone I had never met for some nebulous accusations of wrong doing, and he just seemed so…” He broke off and Dean squeezed his hand before withdrawing it so they could both finish their breakfast. It sucked watching Castiel tear himself up over someone has horrible as Crowley. Life had been easier when he only needed to care about Sammy, but he wouldn’t trade Cas for anything.
Luckily, before Castiel could lapse back into his funk Dean had been working so hard to pull him out of, Ellen strolled over and dropped a plate in the middle of the table. A tall, fluffy cinnamon roll slathered in thick white icing sat on it. Dean was stuffed from pancakes but he didn’t even care.
“Oh man, Aunt Ellen! Thanks!” He dug in with gusto and she laughed, smiling fondly at Castiel.
“Eat up, Castiel.” Castiel smiled up at her. “I apologize Mrs. Harvelle-Singer but-“
“Ellen.”
“…Ellen, but you’ve been too kind already. I really should pay for all this.” Ellen grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the table, straddling the back of it.
“Oh no you don’t. You’ve done more than enough to get this brat on track.” She said, tilting her head towards Dean. “Putting some meat on that skinny body of yours is the least I can do.” Dean looked up, still shoveling bites of cinnamon roll into his mouth. Castiel blushed at her praise, his eyes sliding to Dean’s as he took a small piece of the cinnamon roll. Dean watched as Castiel popped the piece into his mouth and choked on his own bite at the sound his friend made upon tasting the pastry. It was a sound made for the bedroom and not for the breakfast table.
Ellen smacked Dean on the back a few times, laughing at his misfortune. “I will admit though, that I have ulterior motives for plying you with my food.” Castiel looked at her with interest. “I was wondering if I could get a copy of your music. The bar needs a little liveliness at night and Bobby and I were thinking of hiring some acts to play a few nights a week. I’d like to hear your music.” Dean tried his hardest not to laugh at Castiel’s deer-in-the-headlights look. Ellen waited politely for Cas to respond. He’d cave, Dean knew, no one said no to Ellen.
“Of course…I can get you a demo I guess.”
“That would be great!” She said brightly, patting his hand.
“I’d have to ask the others about playing…”
“No rush, it’s just something we’re thinking about.” She slipped just a touch of disappointment into her tone. Dean knew this tactic of hers, she was a pro at getting what she wanted. The wounded look on Castiel’s face at Ellen’s “disappointment” was enough to tell Dean that she had hooked him. The singer sighed.
“Actually, Gabriel would probably be pleased with that. I’ll make sure to give Dean a copy of some songs, if that’s okay?” Ellen smiled and stood, ruffling Castiel’s hair. Dean hid his grin with his mug, taking a sip of coffee.
“Oh, that’s fine! I appreciate it!” With that she turned on her heel and went back to work. Castiel looked utterly bewildered as he popped the last few bites of cinnamon roll into his mouth.
“What just happened?”
“She got you, dude.” Castiel made a thoughtful sound, his eyes tracking Ellen’s movement as she worked.
“She’s really good at that.”
Dean just laughed.
Despite the endless ribbing from Castiel’s family, Dean’s week passed blissfully. He endured an hour in the morning of Balthazar asking pointedly inappropriate questions, followed by Gabriel and Israfael in American Literature, and then all of them during lunch. It was like running a gauntlet of Miltons everyday.
He had a little brother with two unbroken arms, a roof over their heads that wasn’t the Impala’s, and people who actually cared about them. Not to mention Castiel. Crowley had been absent from their shared Calculus class, however, and that set Dean on edge. He’d learned enough from his father to when to expect an attack and that was the feeling he had now. It made him reluctant to let Castiel out of his sight. The bruises were fading from his skin and Castiel seemed to be relaxing bit by bit, but Dean still worried.
The second highlight was his new ability to touch Cas. Brushing hands while walking, grabbing his shoulder, wrapping his arms around him, and of course the kissing. It was becoming an addiction, the quick rush he got just from the contact. Ellen and Bobby started to enforce an open door policy to make sure studying was actually occurring. It seemed like a ridiculous gesture to Dean; since they hadn’t progressed any further than kissing and Castiel was a stickler for getting work done before having fun.
Dean also worried about pushing him too far, too fast. So he had, in an uncharacteristically charitable gesture, shoved his raging teenage hormones to the side and tried to focus on taking it slow.
It might kill him.
He spent more time in the shower than was necessary but it was worth every inch that Castiel relaxed when they were together. He was even planning a real date for them, another first for Dean Winchester. Things were settling down into a rhythm and Sioux Falls was starting to carry the soft edge of ‘home’. So when he walked into the Milton household the next Friday, he was caught off guard by the yelling echoing through the house.
“So that’s it then? You’re just going to roll over and do whatever mommy and daddy say?”
“Gabriel!”
“No, Anna! Why would you even give her the demo if you were just going to give up on us anyways!”
“Gabriel, please, it’s just-”
“Oh I get it, Castiel. Go be the perfect Ivy League college boy. Leave us all behind!”
Dean turned the corner into the living room as Gabriel stormed passed him and out to the back patio. Castiel was standing in the middle looking after where his older brother had gone, Anna next to him with her hand on his shoulder. Israfael was sitting in a chair next to Balthazar, who sat on the arm. Dean cleared his throat, breaking the quiet, and spurring the room’s occupants into motion. The Milton cousins both stood, and after Israfael quietly hugged Castiel, they both left as well, headed towards the guesthouse. Castiel released a small noise of pain and Anna wrapped her arms around him.
“I’m so sorry Cassy. I am. I know this isn’t how you wanted it to go, but they’ll come around. You’ll see.”
“But, Gabriel.” He murmured into her hair, almost too quiet for Dean to hear.
“You’re still our nerdy little brother, Castiel, and you always will be. Just give him a chance to calm down.”
He hugged her tightly and then let go.
“Thanks, Anna.”
She smiled at him, cupping his cheek with her palm. “No problem.” She went to follow Gabriel through the kitchen but managed a small smile in Dean’s direction before disappearing. He sucked in a deep breath and then walked over to Castiel, sliding his hand into the other boys and squeezing.
“Are you ready to go? Ellen will kill us if we are late for dinner.”
Castiel looked up at him gratefully. “Yeah, let me just grab my bag.”
Khaki messenger bag in tow, they set off for Dean’s home.
The smell coming from the Havelle-Singer household was heavenly. After the week he had had and the fight with his family, the chaos of Dean’s home was a welcome change of pace. With tutoring and as a by-product of being friends with Dean, it had come to feel like a second home and there were times when he wanted to melt into the warmth. He hadn’t wanted to lie to his family about choosing college over music, even if he did harbor a desire to get a degree. He knew they would be even angrier with him if they found out he lied, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell them because if he did he wouldn’t be able to stop. The idea of other people knowing what really occurred sent a sharp stab of dread and shame. Not to mention that his family or Dean could get hurt. That they knew he was attacked was enough. This was better.
“Cas?”
He snapped out of his thoughts and found himself looking into Dean’s concerned eyes.
“Are you okay?”
Castiel just smiled and dropped his bag next to where he kicked his shoes off in the front entryway and followed Dean into the heart of the house, Ellen’s kitchen. He was greeted with a full smile and a tight embrace from said kitchen’s ruler. It surprised him and he blinked away tears. It really was frustrating how often he caught himself crying as of late but hugs like Ellen’s soothed a hurt he wasn’t even aware of more often than not.
He had hints of the feeling from Anna, but this was different. This was what a mom felt like and with a deep ache he wished he could keep the Winchester-Harvelle-Singer family forever. He quickly wiped his eyes when she pulled away. He needed to work harder on keeping it together or else people would start asking questions and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it from the sharp eyes of his sister or Dean forever.
“I hope you’re hungry, Cas!”
She withdrew fully and his eyes widened at the small feast overtaking the table.
“Wow, Aunt Ellen! This look awesome!” Sam burst into the room followed by Jo whom was warming up to him bit by painstakingly earned bit. Bobby was close behind, going to the sink to wash motor oil and other car related junk off of his hands. Dean laughed from behind him and he fought the urge to turn around and trap the sound with his mouth.
“Jeez, Aunt El, what do I need to do in order to get you to bribe me like this?”
Castiel laughed as the queen of the little family smacked Dean with the wooden spoon she held in her hand.
“Dean Winchester, I am not bribing Castiel, simply going to discuss a business proposition with him.” She smiled sweetly at him and the singer swallowed. He was starting to see why Dean and Sam kept insisting she was terrifying.
They sat down to the best lasagna he had ever put in his mouth and he lost himself in the chatter, trying not to think about how unlikely it was that any of his family besides Anna were likely to be speaking with him anytime soon. About half-way through his meal, the sensation of being in over his head returned when Ellen pushed her plate away folded her arms on the table.
“Now, Cas, Bobby and I both liked the tracks that you gave us for the bar and I wanted to talk to you about hiring your band to play a few nights. You would be paid, like we would any band, and if you blow it, you would be fired the same, just in case you think I am only asking since you and Dean are close.”
Castiel shifted in his seat, excited for a few moments at the thought of getting the hell out of the basement and into an actual venue but it was brought crashing down at the memory of Gabriel walking out on him. He cleared his throat.
“That’s really awesome Mrs. Harvell, uh, Ellen, but I do not know what is going to happen with the-” He tapered off, caught off guard by her suddenly outstretched hand. Ellen twitched her fingers in a ‘gimme’ gesture and Dean only gave him an amused shrug when he glanced over.
Bobby coughed.
“She wants your phone, idgit.”
Without thinking about it, he pulled it out and handed it over to her. For all that Dean complained that his family was so confusing, Castiel had to argue that Dean’s could be just as mystifying as he watched Ellen fiddle around with his phone.
That is until she put it to her ear and starting talking.
“Hello? Gabriel? This is Ellen, Dean’s...oh yes. Yes this does mean you are in trouble. Smart boy.”
Castiel jerked and leaned across the table in a futile attempt to grab his phone. When she stood and walked away from the table, he followed.
“Please don’t. Can I have that back?”
Ellen ignored him.
“Yes, I’m just wondering why Castiel seems to think that your band might not be able to perform in the future?” She paused and Castiel could hear Gabriel’s tinny voice coming out but couldn’t understand what he was saying. He knew he looked extremely graceless as he tried to get his phone away from her but chose not to care. His brother not killing him took precedence.
“So you’re upset that your little brother is deciding to get a college degree? Mmhmm. Leaving you all behind, right. Uh hunh. Well Gabe,” Castiel could hear the politeness fade out of her voice. “you need to listen to me, boy, because Castiel is the only brother you’ve got. Yeah you may not be related in the traditional sense, but you all need to stick together and trust that Castiel is doing what he thinks is right. Yes I mean that you have to support his decision and you need to quit your bitching. He is a junior. You still have over a year to work on music before he leaves for college, wherever he chooses to go. Do not destroy your relationship with him just because you’re a selfish brat.”
Castiel stared at her in awe when he heard nothing from the receiver.
“Do you understand?” Her voice was back into pleasant tones. Castiel heard a short burst of sound from his phone and took a step back from Ellen’s pleased grin. No wonder her child and the Winchester brothers were so cowed by her.
“That’s wonderful. I knew you would. Now, what do you kids normally do on Fridays and Saturdays?”
The evening later found Dean and Castiel studying in his room (“Yes, Aunt Ellen, the door is open.”) Castiel for his Latin final and Dean working on his last project for Engineering, not that Dean was particularly worried. Devereaux had basically already given him an A for the year simply based on how far ahead of the rest of the class he was. The same went for shop. He could rebuild an engine with his eyes closed. The rest of his classes weren’t quite up that high but he was pretty sure he’d end up with mostly B’s.
He was sure he would owe Castiel his soul by the end of the school year. That unfortunately lead him down the thorny path of thinking about the singer’s future plans. He turned around in his chair, straddling the back of it and resting his arms on the back. Castiel looked up from where he was sprawled on Dean’s bed with his Latin notes and textbook. Dean cleared his throat.
“So college, huh?”
Castiel flinched before meeting his eyes which was all the actual confirmation Dean needed.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“I hadn’t decided. Not about when to tell you or even about what I was thinking of doing.”
“Gabe told me your parents came down hard on you about it but are you really just going to cave like that? I thought the band was, well, it.”
Castiel sighed and rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling.
“You know I do actually want to go to college. I want a degree. I love performing and my family and I wish there was a way I could do both, but I can’t expect them to just follow me wherever I end up. Its more than my father’s expectations as well.”
“Follow you? No local school I guess.” Dean swallowed, trying to ignore the empty pit that formed in his stomach at the thought of Castiel going too far for him to follow. His friend quickly met his gaze but quickly flicked away.
“There’s this school in Boston.” he said quietly and Dean was sure he was going to be a little sick. “It’s the Berklee College of Music. It’s a small school but I can do what I want there. Maybe major in music business or production. Something so that after graduation, if they forgive me, we can restart the band and not need to rely on other people.” His voice hardened with bitterness briefly, before smoothing out again. “Not that it matters. It costs almost forty grand a year to go and since it’s not Harvard or Yale, there’s no way I’d be able to convince my parents to help pay for it. Or even be able to get in for that matter.” He sat up to look at Dean who just tried to cheer him up with a smile.
“Oh whatever, man. They’ll take you in a heartbeat and I’m sure you’d be able to get some sort of scholarship.” He nudged Castiel’s knee with his own and got a huffed laugh in return.
“We’ll see how Gabriel and the rest feel about it. What about you though? Your GPA is actually respectable,” Castiel dodged the pencil lobbed at him, “and you don’t seem too enamored with Sioux Falls.”
It was Dean’s turn to sigh and stare at his not so very interesting ceiling. “I don’t have a freaking clue. I never even thought I’d graduate. I had actually been planning on dropping out but then those little shits broke Sam’s arm and I wound up here with some nerdy little dude forcing me to give a shit about Hemingway.” It succeeded in winning a smile from Castiel. “But anyways, Sam the college bound kid. He already has his sights set on fancy ivy league schools so he can be a lawyer and save all the innocent people or something.” He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.
“Me? I figured I’d just work on cars. Maybe with Bobby.”
“Why not go to college?”
“Maybe. I can’t until Sam graduates though. I can’t just leave th
e kid after everything, even if he says it’s fine. I mean I know Bobby and Aunt Ellen would take care of him, but I’m incredibly paranoid where that kid is concerned.”
Castiel placed his hand lightly on Dean’s knee.
“I understand.” He sounded supportive but Dean could hear in Castiel’s voice, the same fear he had. What happens when we graduate and one of us leaves?
He responded by reaching out and hooking his fingers in the collar of the singer’s shirt and pulled him forward intending to share a quick kiss. It spiraled a little out of control, however, and by the time they separated they were both flushed and Dean’s smile to Castiel was lopsided as hell.
“Well it’s a good thing we still have a year and some change, yeah?”
Castiel matched his smile and then abruptly smacked Dean upside the head with his notebook. “Back to work Winchester. No more kissing until you’re done with the math for your project.”
“Aw, man, come on! A man has needs!”
“I think you will survive. Though the faster you finish the quicker we can get back to it, so maybe there should be less whining and more equating.”
Dean just groaned good-naturedly and got to work, vowing to get back at Castiel the next chance he got.