25 more things
Continuation of the 25 things meme on facebook. I'm so self-absorbed.
26. I constantly procrastinate, and I really hate myself for it. I seem to give off the impression of being very energetic, but I don't think I am. I sit on my butt a lot.
27. I get freaked out when I think about my future, especially when I think of all the other singers who are my "competition." This paranoia is getting more and more real as I get closer to graduation. I know that I'm not trying as hard as I could be, and I constantly make excuses for myself. I fear that I will not get into any grad school and will take up a daytime job for the time being, and I'll just sell myself short and settle into it. This is not an environmental issue; it's simply me being lazy/not focused/not driven. I sometimes wonder if I'm not right for this; it seems like all successful performers have this extreme dedication and drive that I seem to be lacking.
28. I'm not sure if there's anything I've ever given 100% to. This is in part because I'm intelligent and thus naturally good at a lot of things (and/or learn quickly), and I don't need to put in as much effort as others to achieve the same level of accomplishment. So there are many things I do reasonably well, but there isn't one thing I excel at. I know that being versatile and having a broad range of skills/knowledge is important nowadays, but I've always envied those who have an exceptional passion and talent for one single area.
29. Related to 27 & 28 - I consider myself to be much more of an artisan than a creator. Never had a truly creative streak in me, but I'm usually very good at taking direction and making intelligent decisions. I'm a well-balanced person and grasp concepts and the greater whole quickly. This is why I thought of possibly going into conducting, and probably why I like early and choral music (the opposite end being Puccini operas). It's all about balance - it's a carefully crafted art.
30. I hate loud everything. Construction noise drives me nuts. An audiologist/musician friend once said that for some reason, musicians have lower thresholds for noise than non-musicians; I guess it's true. I don't know how anyone could stand being at a rock show without ear buds.
31. The sound of chewing with the mouth open = OB-FUCKING-NOXIOUS. Just...no.
32. I don't have much tolerance for stupidity. Especially the lacking in common sense and/or basic logic kind. I'm pretty sure that makes me a pretentious elitist.
33. I don't understand how anyone could WANT to be in a career just to make money. You only get one life, and you want to spend it hating the majority of your day just to have a nice house? The keyword is "want," though; I do have empathy and respect for those who end up in the position not by choice. Sometimes you've just got a family to feed, and I think it's pretentious and immature to brush that off as a cop-out. You're very fortunate if you have a choice. Besides, this society would collapse without them.
34. I used to not like hanging out with girls. Then I discovered that cool, interesting girls exist, and realized that what I hated was superficial people, male or female.
35. I think following trends just because they're popular is dumb. There's empowerment in realizing how much you're culturally conditioned. Logic and intelligence, people.
36. I will never, ever understand skin tanning. Free cancer, anyone? Seriously, your skin color is what you were born with and it's beautiful. Don't let the media and social norms tell you otherwise. Same thing with "skin whitening," something many Asian women are fascinated with. Disgusting.
37. I'm pretty straight, but I wouldn't mind experimenting a bit. I like cute girls.
38. I wish Japan got over their homophobia and racism. Their social conservativeness generally doesn't sit well with me.
39. I used to read a lot of manga back in high school. I still have a few favorites that I think are great works of art: Slam Dunk, Shonen Mahoushi, Terpsichore, ARMS (minus the last 3 books...). Probably forgetting a few, and I haven't read a lot of the classics.
40. I didn't really have friends in high school, or at least people to hang out with outside of school. I was only semi part of the Japanese clique, and was never very close to any of them (save Anna until the last quarter of HS). I didn't know that people drank or did drugs.
41. I was also convinced that boys did not like me...looking back (and reading old yearbooks), I think there was some interest somewhere along the ways, but nothing happened because I didn't know how to hang out with people.
42. Needless to say, I don't have too many fond memories from high school.
43. I slacked off A LOT in high school, and my GPA was pathetic. My SAT scores were good though, which probably worked for and against me during college admission (obvious potential, glaring lack of effort). I'm glad that I somehow managed to get into Northeastern with a good scholarship. While it's not the best school out there academically, the co-op program is great (hooray for finding out what I didn't want to do) as is the faculty. Sure, classes can get frustrating at times, but not a big enough deal compared to the benefits. I love the friends I've made here, and I love Boston.
44. I used to dance very seriously. I quit because I could never have a dancer's body, and I was too serious about it to continue on as a hobby.
45. On the other hand, I can be very clumsy. I'm also terrible at sports. I do well with formal instruction, but physical coordination does not come to me naturally, it seems.
46. No-shows are probably my biggest pet peeve. If you're going to cancel/flake out on me, fine, just let me know beforehand. Seriously, it's basic human communication.
47. At the same time though, I'm always late. I'm a hypocrite - well aware.
48. I'm pretty sure I've always been an awkward person. Only recently I've come to embrace my awkwardness; I was awkward about it in high school, and I tried to hide when I came to college. Now I find humor in awkward moments.
49. My first boyfriend was Brian. Even though we're no longer dating, I will always respect him and have a special place for him in my heart; I'm very lucky to be able to say this. The only thing I wish is that I had the courage to be more honest with him earlier in the relationship.
50. I don't like Macs. I just have a lot of small gripes about their functionality. I'm very much a function over aesthetics person.
It's 1:30am, and I need to be at school by 9am. I also need to write this 2-page paper sometime between. I think I'm going to get on that.
26. I constantly procrastinate, and I really hate myself for it. I seem to give off the impression of being very energetic, but I don't think I am. I sit on my butt a lot.
27. I get freaked out when I think about my future, especially when I think of all the other singers who are my "competition." This paranoia is getting more and more real as I get closer to graduation. I know that I'm not trying as hard as I could be, and I constantly make excuses for myself. I fear that I will not get into any grad school and will take up a daytime job for the time being, and I'll just sell myself short and settle into it. This is not an environmental issue; it's simply me being lazy/not focused/not driven. I sometimes wonder if I'm not right for this; it seems like all successful performers have this extreme dedication and drive that I seem to be lacking.
28. I'm not sure if there's anything I've ever given 100% to. This is in part because I'm intelligent and thus naturally good at a lot of things (and/or learn quickly), and I don't need to put in as much effort as others to achieve the same level of accomplishment. So there are many things I do reasonably well, but there isn't one thing I excel at. I know that being versatile and having a broad range of skills/knowledge is important nowadays, but I've always envied those who have an exceptional passion and talent for one single area.
29. Related to 27 & 28 - I consider myself to be much more of an artisan than a creator. Never had a truly creative streak in me, but I'm usually very good at taking direction and making intelligent decisions. I'm a well-balanced person and grasp concepts and the greater whole quickly. This is why I thought of possibly going into conducting, and probably why I like early and choral music (the opposite end being Puccini operas). It's all about balance - it's a carefully crafted art.
30. I hate loud everything. Construction noise drives me nuts. An audiologist/musician friend once said that for some reason, musicians have lower thresholds for noise than non-musicians; I guess it's true. I don't know how anyone could stand being at a rock show without ear buds.
31. The sound of chewing with the mouth open = OB-FUCKING-NOXIOUS. Just...no.
32. I don't have much tolerance for stupidity. Especially the lacking in common sense and/or basic logic kind. I'm pretty sure that makes me a pretentious elitist.
33. I don't understand how anyone could WANT to be in a career just to make money. You only get one life, and you want to spend it hating the majority of your day just to have a nice house? The keyword is "want," though; I do have empathy and respect for those who end up in the position not by choice. Sometimes you've just got a family to feed, and I think it's pretentious and immature to brush that off as a cop-out. You're very fortunate if you have a choice. Besides, this society would collapse without them.
34. I used to not like hanging out with girls. Then I discovered that cool, interesting girls exist, and realized that what I hated was superficial people, male or female.
35. I think following trends just because they're popular is dumb. There's empowerment in realizing how much you're culturally conditioned. Logic and intelligence, people.
36. I will never, ever understand skin tanning. Free cancer, anyone? Seriously, your skin color is what you were born with and it's beautiful. Don't let the media and social norms tell you otherwise. Same thing with "skin whitening," something many Asian women are fascinated with. Disgusting.
37. I'm pretty straight, but I wouldn't mind experimenting a bit. I like cute girls.
38. I wish Japan got over their homophobia and racism. Their social conservativeness generally doesn't sit well with me.
39. I used to read a lot of manga back in high school. I still have a few favorites that I think are great works of art: Slam Dunk, Shonen Mahoushi, Terpsichore, ARMS (minus the last 3 books...). Probably forgetting a few, and I haven't read a lot of the classics.
40. I didn't really have friends in high school, or at least people to hang out with outside of school. I was only semi part of the Japanese clique, and was never very close to any of them (save Anna until the last quarter of HS). I didn't know that people drank or did drugs.
41. I was also convinced that boys did not like me...looking back (and reading old yearbooks), I think there was some interest somewhere along the ways, but nothing happened because I didn't know how to hang out with people.
42. Needless to say, I don't have too many fond memories from high school.
43. I slacked off A LOT in high school, and my GPA was pathetic. My SAT scores were good though, which probably worked for and against me during college admission (obvious potential, glaring lack of effort). I'm glad that I somehow managed to get into Northeastern with a good scholarship. While it's not the best school out there academically, the co-op program is great (hooray for finding out what I didn't want to do) as is the faculty. Sure, classes can get frustrating at times, but not a big enough deal compared to the benefits. I love the friends I've made here, and I love Boston.
44. I used to dance very seriously. I quit because I could never have a dancer's body, and I was too serious about it to continue on as a hobby.
45. On the other hand, I can be very clumsy. I'm also terrible at sports. I do well with formal instruction, but physical coordination does not come to me naturally, it seems.
46. No-shows are probably my biggest pet peeve. If you're going to cancel/flake out on me, fine, just let me know beforehand. Seriously, it's basic human communication.
47. At the same time though, I'm always late. I'm a hypocrite - well aware.
48. I'm pretty sure I've always been an awkward person. Only recently I've come to embrace my awkwardness; I was awkward about it in high school, and I tried to hide when I came to college. Now I find humor in awkward moments.
49. My first boyfriend was Brian. Even though we're no longer dating, I will always respect him and have a special place for him in my heart; I'm very lucky to be able to say this. The only thing I wish is that I had the courage to be more honest with him earlier in the relationship.
50. I don't like Macs. I just have a lot of small gripes about their functionality. I'm very much a function over aesthetics person.
It's 1:30am, and I need to be at school by 9am. I also need to write this 2-page paper sometime between. I think I'm going to get on that.