Dream of a Harmless Bullet
Came home from NYC, as per usual, and we chilled at Chad's for a bit, then came to my house and my dad offered to take me and john wherever we wanted to eat, so we of course said king buffet cuz we haven't been there in a long time. Afterwards we went to John's, conspired a bit, went to Johnny G's, then met with Billy at the mall so we could play Xbox 360 at the newburgh mall. Then we went back to John's house, left everyone else there and embarked on a mission.
So me and Brianne (improper grammar?!) broke up last night, courtesy of her decision. I won't go into vivid detail cuz I'm lazy (and there wasn't much detail anyway) but basically it was for quite reasonable reasons (two people used to being the quieter one in the convo doesn't work out wonderfully interesting) and I couldn't be upset or pissed about it even if I wanted to be (even without my little stoic emotional defense mechanism). Oh and even though I understand why, it kind of annoyed me that john and nikkie were talking for that long in the freezing cold and still didn't really settle things. There was enough time for me and Brianne to talk, break up, talk some more, split ways, me sit in the car for like 20 minutes getting warm, leave to get gas and come back before they stopped talking. Wtf ^^(Just for the record, I'm perfectly aware that I use parenthesis way too much).
Honestly my biggest problem with it is that Nikkie and John are almost definitely gonna break up soon too. This is a problem to me just cuz I kinda didn't want both relationships to end so close to the same time. It kinda makes it seem too much like both relationships went hand in hand, ya know, like one ending meant the other was gonna by default. I know that's not really the case but to the outside eye that's what it's gonna seem like and yeah, that sucks. But whatever, people will think what they think.
I must express one problem with how things went though. I was way too prepared for the situation, like once it was laid out, I already knew every word I was going to say. As of 2 weeks ago, I could tell it was gonna happen and 2 weeks ago I knew what I was going to say. So instead of doing anything about it, I just figured how I'd respond and moved on. That's the problem with the whole emotional defense mechanism...for those who don't know what that is already, whenever something bad happens or is going to happen, I almost automatically start not to care at all and therefore save myself any kind of emotional pain. But in turn, it also tends to stop me from doing anything about it and sorta makes me look heartless in some situations (i.e. someone's death). *le shrug* It's not really something I have control over.
In other news, I drank a whole lot of schmirnoff ice and bacardi O3 last night with a bunch of the guys, including some cool guys I haven't seen in a while. Many interesting antics ensued. Twas a very fun night.
As for right now...it's very cloudy, both outside and in my head. I have that feeling like I'm still half asleep all day. Also, my throat's condition is not improving at all. Hopefully I'll have some fun today to continue the good weekend.