HP Byron Nelson
The ticket
“Up for the Byron Nelson on Saturday?” the email read. My friend had some tickets and so Saturday would see Jason, Luke, and I off to our first Byron Nelson PGA Championship.
First impressions and Highlight #1: The Mints
We arrive…I accept that this is a corporate sponsor event and customer service will be high to create the right atmosphere but the customer service staff in white shirts and red pants were EVERYWHERE and the nicest and most jovial people I have ever met. Just earnest and welcoming, they could teach a master class on service! At one point, I was struggling to open the small paper box of mints I was given because I didn’t want to tear it up too much and not leave it functional for the remainder of the day…One of the “Red pants” came up and actually asked me if I needed help opening the box. Seriously, he wasn’t joking, he really wanted to help me in case my disappointment in opening the paper box would cloud my day or something. Jason, who was next to me, almost choked laughing.
The course
Of course, it was impressive, but to me it was very Texan: All green and not particularly flowery, but very hilly and challenging. Almost like the course was standing in defiance of you and daring you to try it. The staff was amazing and with jumbo tvs and concessions every few holes you keep up on what was going on and could easily get fed. It’s like the water-fall feature on 18 was trying to hard compared to the quite pond with cat-tales on 17.
Lowlight #1: Ricky Barnes
Ah, yeah, there’s a golfer at the Tournament named Ricky Barnes or as I referred to him Ricky Barnsie. I was interested in a golfer with my last name…until I saw him and the plaid pajama bottoms he wore to golf in. I really don’t have the words here. Thankfully the guys didn’t tease me about it after we moved on to the next hole.
Highlight #2: Free Lunch
So we’ve seen some great golf, and more than half of the is spent so Jason and Luke go to get some food. By now we had seen several “Red pants” with Chick-fil-a bags. Apparently, all the staff was getting their bag lunches delivered. I didn’t have any cash and it looked like the concession stand didn’t take (credit) card so I was content to wait while Jason and Luke grabbed a bit and they had a nice lunch. We were sitting on a small bridge in front of 4 “Red pants” when a marshal drove up in a cart. “You guys need any more lunches?” he asked the “Red pants”. “No, we’ve got plenty” they replied and the marshal started driving off. “I’ll take one” I called out to him. His golf cart literally screeched to a half and looking over his shoulder, he threw me one of the bags and then drove off! Inside was a breaded chicken sandwich, a bag of chips, and a small section of brownie. Luke got the brownie, Jason got the chips, and I devoured the sandwich. Food is always better when it’s FREE!
The Golf
We spent most of the day exploring, watching this group tee off or that group putt in but after the Free Lunch, we settled in to following the group of James Nitties, Briny Baird, and James Driscoll. We saw some great golf as the crowd grew and we approached the finish.
Highlight #3: The Race
As the group of Nitties, Baird, and Driscoll approached the green on 17 Baird and Driscoll’s caddies were side-by-side and as one moved ahead of the other the crowd began to call their vest color. Back and forth it went as they casually walked up until, getting into the spirit of it, Baird’s caddy dropped the bag and sprinted toward the green. The crowd went nuts cheering for either man and they raced up the hill toward the green. Baird’s caddy did win the race and turning around arms raised to the cheering crowed started back for the golf bag. As he passed the caddy for Nitties they gave each other a casual high-five and everyone was still laughing and cheering. It was awesome!
Highlight #4 (or “Highlights”): The Women…
We three amigos love women. Simply put. And I knew going into the event we would see women who would be so mind-numbingly attractive they would overload our sensors. I was fully prepared. My friends, simply put, were not. Oh they thought they knew how attractive the women we would meet would be, but after two ladies at the very end of the Championship had them staring blankly, I knew there was only one place left to go: The Pavilion. Legend has it that The Pavilion at the Byron Nelson is a portal for mortals to enter a land of an exposition of the near perfect female form. It was beyond what I expected, and I don’t think my friends could breathe when we walked in. After a round about tour of the food areas, the drink stations, and the tables after tables of DFW’s hottest women the guys were shell-shocked...All I could do was smile and assure them they had actually seen what they thought they had! It was priceless!
Final analysis
The event is organized and staffed by professionals who treated me, frankly, better than I have been treated at any other event I have attended. The course was interesting, challenging, but well organized so you could easily keep up with the group you wanted to watch. The food was plentiful as were porta-potties and beverage options. The women are more than you expect and beyond your means!