Life Just Sucks Sometimes (But You're Here, So It's Okay)
For: cinnamonz
Title: Life Just Sucks Sometimes (But You're Here, So It's Okay)
Pairing: Henwook, Ninja!Qmi
Category: Angst, Drama, Ninja!Crack
Summary: Kyuhyun and Zhoumi are secret agents. Oh, and Henry: he moving back to Canada. Forever.
Henry's leaving for Canada.
Forever.
And Ryeowook doesn't like it.
At all.
It takes a while for the rest of the members to let it sink in; that their precious little Mochi is leaving and never coming back.
It takes Ryeowook a couple of hours. Almost to the point where Kyuhyun and Zhoumi decide to approach Hangeng and ask him if they can call 911 because they think there's something wrong with Ryeowook because no one can sit indian-style on the floor for almost two hours straight doing nothing but staring at the exact spot where Henry stood during his announcement.
"Wookie's fine, just leave him to think," Hangeng says, though the way Kyuhyun sees Leader's eyes flicker toward that eternal maknae, he can tell that even Hangeng is worried.
Henry's terrified; he's scared and cold and lonely and a lot of other words one would use to describe "helpless".
He doesn't like the feeling at all, staring at the blank wall where he had previously held random posters and pictures of his family; of his one and only Super Junior.
Of what he had hoped to be the rest of his life.
But alas, it was to end one day. The memory, name, and success of Super Junior can last forever.
But not the group itself... never the group itself.
Unfortunately for Henry, his chapter in Super Junior is small, short, and coming to an end.
Ryeowook is thinking; he's contemplating about whether he should break down and cry right then and there, or though it up and talk to Henry, because if anyone doesn't want him to leave the most. It is undoubtedly the eternal maknae, Ryeowook.
Henry's mother is sick. That makes sense. Ryeowook would fly all the way back to Seoul in a heartbeat, regardless of where he was currently staying. Of course he'd always come back; because, to Ryeowook, if there's anything more important than his family, it's Super Junior.
Family is all he's got if he doesn't have Super Junior. Not even his voice would be enough for him.
So Ryeowook doesn't get it. Why is Henry not coming back? Sure, he could stay there for a while like Kibum did, but he had to come back. He would come back if he wanted to. But what if he doesn't?
What if he doesn't want to come back? What if all the Only13 ELFs are finally getting under his skin and he's giving up on his career because no one seems to fully appreciate his efforts? Super Junior does, but is that enough for Henry? What if fourteen other friends cheering for him and encouraging him to follow his dreams isn't enough? What if, to Henry, Super Junior isn't even doing that?
Ryeowook gives out an irritated puff of breath, his first movement in the last two and a half hours, and from the corner of his eye he can see Hangeng letting out a relieved sigh while holding his hand against his heart.
So Henry leaves: and Super Junior just isn't the same anymore.
Canada doesn't feel right. He doesn't like how it's so fucking cold all the fucking time. He doesn't like how his house is always empty because his sister has school and his dad's at work. He doesn't like how the only thing he can do all day is surf the internet and play the violin. He wishes he was in China working his ass off trying to complete his busy schedule so Donghae could make him a nice breakfast the next day for all his hard work. He wishes he was resting backtage with Kyuhyun or Ryeowook, who always sing little songs with their soft, velvety voices during commercial breaks. He wishes Siwon, Hangeng, and Zhoumi were resting back at the dorm spending their day off relaxing, because it meant they'd call everyone during their breaks and talk to them for the even shortest of minutes because they always remind you to work hard and be good, like the great hyungs they are.
He wants to call them on the phone and talk because he misses hearing their voices and he feels empty; not hearing a loud, girlish squeal from Ryeowook; or a muttered, cocky remark from Kyuhyun.
Life is lonely without Super Junior, and Henry feels empty inside, like a piece of his heart was ripped out and left there at the Incheon airport where he left the other fourteen members.
So he finds himself lying down on his bed curled up in a ball and crying his eyes out because no one's going to find him anyway. He could throw a tantrum on the floor and kick at everything, begging to go back to China, but no one would even hear him.
Life just fucking sucks sometimes.
Ryeowook feels weird. But he doesn't really know why...
... Oh yeah, it's because Henry's gone.
There's a small picture frame with a cheesy picture of the 15 Super Junior members during their first meet and Henry looks like a chinky little dork.
Ryeowook smiles and kind of feels like breaking down all of a sudden because it's the fifth time this hour he though about the fact that Henry's gone and it makes him feel pretty damn lonely.
Kyuhyun enters the room and finds Ryeowook pathetically sulking in front of the teeny little frame. He wearing a dark fedora and a large peacoat that makes him look like a secret agent. He and Zhoumi love playing that game together, and if any of the fans knew that Kyuhyun was such a freaking dork in reality, Ryeowook thinks their popularity and reputation would come to a screeching halt, and everyone who knows the boyband "Super Junior" would be like, "Umm... no. Gross."
"If you miss him so damn much," Kyuhyun muttered, "then read that little note he left you in the back of that frame."
Ryeowook looked at him with large eyes, "What note?"
Kyuhyun scoffs and says, "Just open the damn thing and check." And Ryeowook has to mentally slow himself down so he doesn't rip the gift in half as he opens it to find a small, yellow paper folded neatly and taped to the back of the picture.
Ryeowook starts crying tears of joy as he reads the letter and Kyuhyun awkwardly leaves the room with a meek, "I told you so."
It's been almost a whole month since he left for Canada, and for the first time since he arrived there, he'd put on his thick coat and stepped outside for some fresh air.
It was three in the afternoon and there was no sign of sun at all. The clouds were gray, the chill was biting through his parka and his breath was visible to the naked eye in forms of foggy puffs of moisture. He took another step forward, back into the familiar neighborhood he had lived in once upon a time when he was fourteen and entering high school. The old houses still the same bland color and the trees still the same dead, grayish hue. Taking a sharp left, he walked towards the park down the street in search of that old bench that he'd use to find comfort back when he was ten years old.
"Thinking Bench..." Henry whispered in a mantra when he arrived at his destination, passing the old, rusty swing set and the large soccer field he remembers all too well. He paused abruptly and gave the first genuine smile he'd put on since he came here. Today was full of a bunch of firsts for Henry.
Taking a seat at the old bench, Henry just thought.
... and thought...
... and thought...
Because he was depressed, no doubt about it, and Canada just isn't home to him anymore. Given the chance, Henry knew that he would fly back in a heartbeat.
He watched the wind tilt the trees into seemingly uncomfortable angles and the gray clouds move at a quick pace towards the mountains far ahead in the distance.
His phone vibrated in his hand and he answered it quietly, "Hello?"
"Henry? Can you come over to the hospital? Mom wants to talk to you."
"Okay, Sis, I'll be right there."
"Henry..." his mother said, caressing his warm, pale hand in her frail old hands, "go home."
Henry fought back tears, "Mom," he whispered, "I am home."
A weak chuckle escaped her lips and Henry smiled warmly at her. "No you're not. This isn't your place anymore, baby. Over there... with your Super Junior... is where you belong now."
Henry frowned, "But Mom, you're sick. If you think I can leave you that easily, then--"
"If it's for something as important to you as Super Junior, I wouldn't mind if you'd do it in a heartbeat."
Henry whimpered and tightened the grip on his mother's hand.
"I'll be fine. It's like you don't even know me anymore, Honey," she whispered, "go home, Henry, go home."
And so he did, the next day without warning he flew straight to China to find the dorms empty. He gave a long sniff of the familiar scent of home; his home. And all he wants to do right now is break down into a million little pieces and cry because he's back, and he really isn't leaving.
Now Ryeowook has someone to talk to again.
Now Sungmin isn't the aegyo prince.
Now Henry doesn't have to be depressed and lonely and scared like he was back in Canada.
Henry's home; and it's about time.
"He hears the door click behind him and he takes a swift turn to see who's opening the door.
It's Ryeowook, and all Henry can do is smile.
Wookie looks up to find him standing there like a fool with a stupid grin on his face, and there's a sound of keys falling onto the tile floor.
"Henry," Ryeowook whispers, "You're home."