Impasse, John-Teyla + Team, 'Post-EatG'
Title: Impasse
Summary: He and Teyla had been at an impasse for too many months now.
Characters: Sheppard, Teyla, Rodney, Ronon, Rebecca
Pairing: Sheppard-Teyla, Sheppard/Rebecca
Rating: K+
Spoilers: Enemy at the Gate
Sheppard leaned against the wall in the far side of the lab watching as McKay briefed Teyla on the machine they’d found on one of the many searches of the city. It had taken them many months to get the clearance to start the machine; why research Wraith genetics when they didn’t have to deal with the Wraith anymore? Sheppard rolled his eyes at the argument the IOA panel had put forth before even Mr Woolsey turned on them - what if Atlantis was to go back to Pegasus? Didn’t they owe it to the people of Pegasus to utilise the research available to them?
Teyla nodded along with Rodney and Sheppard could see her and Ronon exchange amused looks at McKay’s continued babble and chatter. While he’d never admit it, it was obvious that the man had missed his two friends. Pushing himself off the wall he moved to stand beside Teyla, noting how she tilted her body in his direction when he got to her side; he realised in that moment that he missed the way they responded to each other, very much. Five years on the same team - saving each other’s asses - had made them hyper aware of one another’s presence.
He bit back the smile; things were still weird between them.
“All right, Rodney, enough talk.” McKay huffed and glared at Sheppard who simply rolled his eyes. “She’s done this before, Rodney,” he reminded him gently and McKay nodded quickly.
“I know I’m just... being careful.”
Sheppard smiled then; McKay had had too much experience with Ancient tech going wrong but it still surprised Sheppard - and Ronon and Teyla, apparently - when McKay showed the selfless part of himself. Living without the constant fear of Wraith attacks was good for McKay. Or maybe it was Keller’s influence.
“That is very kind of you, Rodney; I will be fine,” Teyla murmured and took a step away from the console she was leaning on and smiled to Ronon. The big guy just looked happy to be there and Sheppard smiled.
“Right, okay,” McKay said again and both Sheppard and Ronon stepped forward when Teyla moved to stand beside the machine that was hooked up to different consoles around the room. “We’re just going to start off slow, okay?” Teyla nodded, her eyes meeting Sheppard’s for a moment before she stepped into the device that looked far too much like a coffin for Sheppard’s liking. “Just... think of where we are in the solar system.” Sheppard looked to McKay, raised an eyebrow and McKay flushed. “Okay, umm,” he murmured again as he read from the tablet in his hands. “Just, start slow, okay? We’ll be over here watching you.”
Teyla smiled and nodded, closing her eyes as the machine started humming. Sheppard watched as she slid her hands into the tiny nooks in the sides, her head sliding back into the small cut out curve. He could feel his heart beat speed up slightly, the way it always did when they did stupid stuff like this.
“What’s it do?” Ronon grunted and Sheppard moved around the console to stand beside McKay watching the read out from the machine fluctuate. He glanced back to Teyla’s face and saw her eyes move under her lids.
“We think it’s a way to learn about Wraith fighting techniques.”
“You think?”
“We hope,” McKay clarified, getting grumpy and Sheppard met Ronon’s eyes with a smile and lifted his eyebrows up and down quickly and Ronon rolled his eyes.
“And if it’s not?”
“Then we’ll find out, won’t we?”
Sheppard changed tactics.
“How you been, buddy?” he asked Ronon, who didn’t move from his protective stance beside the machine Teyla was currently cocooned inside.
“Bored.”
“That bad, huh?” Ronon just grunted. “Right.” He turned back to Teyla, glancing between the readouts and her tense face.
He’d missed this.
--
Teyla sighed as the images dissolved in front of her. She took a few moments to regain her centre of balance before she opened her eyes, blinking a few times to regain her focus. Ronon was there, his arm out stretched in an offer of assistance which she readily took up. Rodney was fluttering around the console murmuring happily to himself but she was too tired to smile. John was standing by the console, watching her as she stepped unsteadily out of the machine; she nodded to him and he tilted his head in return.
“I thought you were going to start out slow?”
Teyla frowned and reached a hand out to steady herself on the console that Rodney was working on. It was then she noted that the sky outside was no longer bright but dull, the grey of Antarctica’s twilight alerting her to the fact that she must have been inside the machine for at least three hours. Looking at the small waste bin in the corner, she saw the remains of a quick snack and numerous disposable coffee cups. John’s hair was standing on end, as though he had been running his hands through it all afternoon and Rodney looked drawn and tired, despite his excitement. She was surprised; it had felt like mere minutes since she stepped into the machine. She sighed and rolled her neck and it protested against the motion after such a long time in a stationary position.
“Sorry,” she mumbled and she realised her words were thick, her voice low with thirst. A bottle of water appeared in her hands and she drank the warm liquid quickly, letting out a small sigh of pleasure as she felt it coat her throat. “I did not realise I had been in there for so long,” she murmured and looked to Rodney apologetically.
“It’s fine,” John said casually. He pushed himself off the wall when a woman entered, a tablet and clipboard tucked under her arm. The woman nodded to the others in the room and moved to Sheppard, holding out the clipboard. “What’s this?” He asked with a frown.
The woman smiled and lifted her eyebrow and Teyla was surprised by the light smile on the woman’s features.
“Mr Woolsey beamed out an hour ago,” she responded, her tone teasing and Teyla watched as John’s eyes rose and met hers before glancing to the watch on his wrist. “I need you to sign off on these experiments.”
“Will anything be blowing up?”
She quirked an eyebrow.
“Not in my lab,” she said with a quick, deliberate glare in Rodney’s direction.
“Oh, very funny,” Rodney grumbled, apparently catching the look and Teyla couldn’t stop her own smile. “Not everyone has the pleasure of being an underling, Doctor Cole.”
Rather than being offended, the woman rolled her eyes and turned back to John. Teyla was surprised by the half glare John had on his features.
“You all right?” Ronon asked her quietly and she nodded once, smiling.
“Thirsty, that is all.”
“Hey Sheppard, mess hall?” Ronon said loudly and Teyla laughed lightly, thankful that, for the moment, she had her friend back. Sheppard turned to them then, smiling to Doctor Cole who took the opportunity to slip out of the room.
“Sure,” he said and glanced to McKay. “You coming?”
Rodney made a disgruntled noise and shook his head.
“I need Teyla to tell me what she did, what happened and-“
“And Teyla needs her bread and water rations,” John butted in and Teyla sent him a half smirk.
Things between them still weren’t quite right and she had hoped that her presence in the city would bring a resolution to their differences as well as push her cause for a return trip to Pegasus. She was still desperate to return to her people, more so than she ever thought she would be. It was a longing that was so strong it was painful. She had, over the past months, tried to push it aside but the more she tried to ignore it, the more it plagued her every waking thought.
“All right, but only if I can ask questions while we eat.”
John rolled his eyes, the corner of his lips lifting up in a half smirk and Teyla marvelled at how effortlessly they all worked together, even though she and John had barely spoken ten full sentences to one another since she had arrived. They had, after all, been experts on working together while avoiding one another for years.
She realised she regretted that decision now.
--
Ronon had somehow managed to forget how much Rodney could go on and on and on and on about the most boring subjects. As he shovelled food into his mouth, only half listening to Rodney ask questions the interrupt Teyla’s answers, he watched Sheppard out of the corner of his eye. He wasn’t oblivious to the change in his friend - he’d need to be blind, or ignoring him not to notice - and he wondered. It wasn’t like he was nosy and he definitely wasn’t going to ask but it seemed that the return to Earth had been better for Sheppard than Ronon had ever thought it would be. He’d seen the mess Sheppard was in before he’d left for the SGC and he wondered if it was possible for a few short months to change a person so drastically. His eyes slid to Teyla then, the way she could no longer hide her frustration with Rodney’s prattle and decided that even less time could do even more damage to a person.
“Shut up, McKay,” Ronon said dismissively and Rodney turned to him and gaped but Ronon ignored him. “Where’s Beckett?” he asked of Sheppard, who had turned to watch a small gaggle of scientists walk in and Ronon watched as the one from earlier tilted her head in greeting, shaking her bottle of water and sandwich at him before leaving with the others. Ronon lifted an eyebrow, glancing to Sheppard who was just turning back to the table.
The guy was happy.
He glanced to Teyla who, he could see, had obviously seen the interaction and her eyes widened slightly before her eyebrow lifted imperceptibly.
“He’s been in the labs since he got here,” Sheppard responded and Ronon lifted an eyebrow in question. Sheppard simply tapped his ear piece and quirked a crooked grin. “Someone’s got to keep track of them while daddy’s out.”
“And who is that?” Teyla asked, the humour not quite hiding the edge to her tone. Sheppard grinned sheepishly and ducked his head.
“Lorne?” The three of them laughed and Sheppard rolled his eyes. “Some things never change,” Sheppard muttered and Ronon couldn’t help but notice the sudden tightness in Teyla’s jaw at Sheppard’s words.
“And some things do.”
Sheppard lifted his eyes and stared at her, his eyes blazing and Ronon sat back, waiting for the retort that he knew needed to come. There was a beat, then another and then Sheppard looked down, shaking his head evanescently and Ronon wondered what the hell just happened. He tried to catch McKay’s attention - get the Canadian to leave - but he was oblivious and Ronon really wanted to just grab him by the collar and haul him out of there.
But Teyla rose before he could and sent them a curt good night before retreating to the quarters assigned to them for the duration of their stay.
Seconds passed and Rodney eventually looked up.
“Where’d Teyla go?”
Ronon ignored him and glared at the top of Sheppard’s downturned head.
“You’re an idiot.”
--
John hadn’t been able to spend the day in the lab with them like he had the day before so he’d had to suffice with the radio updates that he was sure Teyla made Rodney give. He was in his office - it actually got used now that he had to actually do proper, tedious administrative work - and had been all day and he was bored. The pile of paperwork had gone down - not by much, but enough for him to feel like he’d accomplished something - and the sky outside was only just beginning to grey. The perpetual winter clouds hung low in the sky and he missed the stars.
He dropped his pen and dug his fingers into his eyes, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. He was dehydrated and had the beginnings of a headache and he was hungry and... he felt like McKay. He grumbled again and rose, feeling his back twinge in protest but he steadfastly ignored it. He didn’t like being reminded that he was getting older. Not old, just older.
“I was beginning to think you were never going to move.”
He snapped his head up and smiled instantly at the sight of Rebecca in the doorway. She was in jeans a t-shirt and he remembered suddenly that this was her only day off for the next eight days. She had already sent a small team to an Ancient base offworld and they were getting ready to relay information from that station to Atlantis in an effort to reduce the City’s power consumption; their expansionist tendencies were quickly depleting the only ZPM they had and Rodney’s experiments in the ZPM lab (and Zelenka’s work on making the Naquadah generators compatible, for that matter) were turning out to be fruitless efforts.
“I think if I was sitting for any longer I wouldn’t have been able to,” he replied after a few moments and she smiled, raising her eyebrows.
“Come on,” she said and held out her hand before ushering him to her side with it. He didn’t take her hand and he knew she didn’t expect him to. Instead, he brushed his fingers against her elbow and ushered her out of his office, directing her to the mess hall.
Once there, she found them a seat and he noted she’d chosen one of the larger tables and he turned to the doorway when he heard Rodney’s loud protests. He looked to Rebecca, catching her eye and nodding his appreciation in her direction. He piled enough food on his plate to feed the five hundred and waited until the others came to stand beside him before gesturing to the table where Rebecca was talking to a couple of her colleagues and the others nodded. He noted Teyla’s distance - again - and rolled his eyes internally. He was quickly getting sick of this game. He’d tried to be civil to her and had even went to her quarters after their half-encounter the night before but she’d brushed him off within seconds.
He’d tried, she hadn’t and he was tired of trying. The ball was in her court but he didn’t think she felt much like playing, either.
He put the tray of food down on the table and slid another empty plate towards Rebecca. She took her share - they argued over the one and only and last slice of pepperoni pizza but she finally relented when his stomach growled loudly - and eventually the others joined them, Teyla sitting on the corner seat, beside Ronon. He couldn’t even find it in himself to sigh, or roll his eyes or be annoyed. She was being childish and he was just too tired.
He downed the bottle of water in one long swig, reaching for the second he’d tucked into his pocket, noting Teyla doing the same.
“How did you get on today?” He asked and Rodney lifted his eyebrows as he tucked into his food with his usual fervour.
“Didn’t you get my reports?”
John rolled his eyes. “Yes but-“
“It went well,” Teyla said, interrupting him and he looked past Ronon to meet her eyes but she was cutting up a strip of beef in her stroganoff. “It is... quite the experience,” she said with more animation and Sheppard nodded, stuffing the crust of pizza in his mouth, his hand hovering over the food on his plate, trying to decide what he wanted to devour next. He was never missing lunch again. “Knowing that I am safe but still feeling the fear...” she trailed off and eventually lifted her eyes, focussing on Rebecca across the table from her with a quick, puzzled frown. “It is definitely interesting running with the Wraith, rather than from them,” she said and quirked an eyebrow.
“Are you getting the information you needed, Rodney?”
Rodney turned to Rebecca and shrugged.
“I’m just collecting the data and passing it on,” he said with a pointed look in Sheppard’s direction. “I’m just making sure it doesn’t kill her.”
“And I thank you, Rodney,” Teyla said sincerely but there was a hint of a smile on her lips as she said it and Rodney flushed - he actually flushed red at the compliment and the people around the table exchanged snickers at that. “But please, remember that I require my daily ration of bread and water so I can complete the experiment,” she said, only half teasing and Rodney looked down, grumbling. Silence descended, thick and not quite comfortable as they ate. “Where is Mr Woolsey?” Teyla asked after a couple of long minutes and Sheppard tilted his head in her direction.
“He’s scheduled for a couple of meetings with the Joint Chiefs this week,” John said.
“I am to assume that a return trip to the Pegasus Galaxy is not on the schedule?”
“No,” he replied shortly and took a breath, waiting for her retort. He bit the inside of his bottom lip and looked up to Rebecca as she glanced at him curiously out of the corner of her eye. He shook his head and let out the breath he was holding.
“And of course Mr Woolsey is not here to speak t-“
“No he’s not. Because he specifically scheduled his meeting with the Joint Chiefs for this week so he didn’t have to hear you arguing the same points I have been for the last year.”
He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He could see the people around the table stiffen and he was almost certain he heard the click of Teyla’s jaw as she snapped it shut.
“Forgive me for not wishing to spend my life in a galaxy that is not my own.”
“I was doing it for five years.”
He glanced at her, glaring and she shook her head the smile on her lips far from friendly.
“That was your choice, you didn’t-“
He stood abruptly, his chair tumbling over and clattering loudly as it feel down the two low steps behind him. He took a breath, held it before meeting her eyes again.
“This was your choice, too.” He closed his eyes and took another breath, trying to reign in the rage that coursed through him. “You know you might not be able to go back.” He felt something touch the back of his hand - a finger, he thought but he wasn’t sure - and he shrugged it away.
“I did not think I would not have a choice; you always had the choice to return.”
“We didn’t when we first came. We didn’t when the Replicators had taken over the City. You chose to stay behind then - why did you choose to come this time? Why would you risk your life? Why would you risk Torren growing up without a mother? Why did you come at all if you thought you would hate it so much?” She tried to speak but he cut her off. “After everything I did for you - everything I’m doing for you - you could at least give me time.”
She sneered again and John was aware that Ronon was standing behind him, ready to grab him if need be. He laughed humourlessly at that; as if he would ever hurt Teyla.
“I have given you time. You have done nothing with it.”
She could have slapped him and gotten a lesser reaction from him. He grabbed onto the edge of the table and ground his teeth together, inhaling deeply through his nose. He was more than aware that there were other people in the mess hall, that they were staring at them but through his red hazy cloud, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
He opened his eyes, defeated then because he knew he would not be able to make her see sense. None of them would surrender tonight and he accepted that.
He straightened and levelled her with a disapproving stare.
“This was your choice. Don’t forget that.” He turned to Rebecca and she met his eyes. “Come on,” he said in a lighter tone, walking away hoping she would follow.
He and Teyla had been at an impasse for too many months now. Their stalemate, hopefully, would be broken now.
.