HP: Alliances 10
The common room was abuzz when he opened the portrait and fell silent the minute he stepped inside. "Please," he said with a caustic smile, "don't let my presence put a damper on your gossip… about me." He crossed to Harry's favourite seat by the fire and was pleased to see his lover starring into the flames. A small tub of pale blue powder sat open on the little side table next to the chair while the image of two war boats duked it out over a sea of flames. Harry did so love the Fire Films powder Draco had given him for Christmas. "A word, Potter?"
"Now? I'm at a good bit," whined Harry.
"Now, Potter."
"Fine, you bastard," muttered Harry loudly as he shut the tub and put it into his pocket.
Draco stomped upstairs as Harry followed hot on his heals. Casting a silencing spell on the room Draco watched his lover lock the door. "I love that act; you're so hot when you're angry."
"So it worked then?" Harry asked as he walked towards Draco.
"Like a dream," Draco said sinking down on the edge of his bed, "I feel as sick as a pig. I had to leave the infirmary quickly: Madame Pomfrey was ready to keep me over night." After studying his green lover Harry got him a cold glass of water from the sink in the toilet. "Thanks," said Draco sipping it slowly, "I threw up all over Severus and then he followed me out so I had to fake being well because he's liable to be more protective than her. Saw Blaise, told him the happy news, had a quick word with Sev, and dragged myself back up here."
Feeling Draco's too-cold forehead Harry said, "Maybe you should be in the infirmary."
"No, I don't want to spend tonight with all my memories in a sterile white metal bed." The blond drank his water while Harry watched him. Putting aside the empty glass, Draco stood, stretched, and said, "Besides, we need to talk."
Harry felt his face blanch. He had wanted to just forget everything. He had thought -from the way he was talking- that Draco wanted that too. "Can't we just forget the last two months?"
"No, too much happened."
"Please, Co, I only said the things I did because you needed to hear them."
"I never knew how badly you needed to be told that I love you."
"I don't! I'm fine."
"You aren't fine, Har." Draco shouted as he loomed over his short lover. "This isn't fine."
Looking down Harry whispered "Please."
"Please what?"
"Don't leave me," Harry looked him in the eye and desperation was clear all over his face. It was a plea more than a comment when he said, "We're so good together."
"Oh. I didn't realize. I didn't know that ‘good together’ meant that one of us would end up in a coma and the other would be one solid mass of neuroses."
With a nod Harry said, "I get it. I wouldn't want to be with the guy who caused me to have a coma, either. It's okay."
"It wasn't your fault."
"I should have been there."
"You told me not to go home but I wouldn't listen to you. I thought my father would play by the rules and stay in prison. But he didn't and, of course, he knew I wasn't a spy. He's not a fool. And when his fist hit my face I thought, 'I should have listened to Harry.' It wasn't your fault."
"Okay," said Harry feeling beaten down and not able to argue. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Before, I thought I was in love with you. But I didn't even understand what that meant."
"I know-" started Harry but Draco interrupted.
"No. You don't. I heard you and Blaise. But you don't know what I'm going to say."
"I do. Don't say it. I know you don't love me. It's fine, but don't say it. Don't rub it in. Can't we just forget this and pick up where we left off?"
"So you would be happy to stay with someone who doesn't love you?"
"I just want to be with you," Harry said as he sat down heavily on his bed. It had been a long day and he was awfully tired. His eyes stung from staring into the fire for so long, his head pounded from the shouting, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep. Reaching out he took Draco's hand, "Can't we talk about this tomorrow? I know some part of you still wants me."
"You're telling me to think with my dick? I was right: I have treated you like a whore. And what do you get in return? A warm body to stave off your nightmares?"
"Fine, don't come to bed with me. Continue this fight by yourself because I'm going to sleep." He kicked off his shoes, threw aside his glasses, and climbed into bed fully dressed save for his socks. Before he shut the curtains he said, "I'm pleased you got your memories back. I hope you'll sleep easy now."
"I can't," said Draco looking at the now shut curtains, "I'm madly in love with you."
The curtains sprung open without the help of human hands. Blue flames ate at the material and Harry was staring at him, eyes blue. Blue, liquid-less tears were pouring down his face as he said, "Shut up. Now is not a good time for one of your mind fucks. It's not clever or funny. I'm not amused and you shouldn't be either if you have any sense of self-preservation." He looked at the boy expectantly.
With his eyes cast down Draco said, "No it wasn't funny. I'm sorry." Harry pulled the ragged curtains closed around him as Draco walked into the toilet with an angry sigh. He washed his face with cool water. Even though he was physically cold he was sweating and he wanted to be clean. Toeing off his trainers Draco let the coldness of the flagstones sink into him via the soles of his feet. Breathing deeply he told himself to calm down. He wasn't sure if his shaking was caused by the potion or anger. All he wanted was for it to stop.
After twenty minutes of silence Harry wondered what had become of his lover. He knew Draco had not gone to bed because he would have heard the boy. The joke hadn't been funny but maybe he over reacted. Feeling guilty Harry pulled open the tattered curtains and saw light pouring out of the toilet. He reached for his glasses so he could make out a shape on the floor. As he walked slowly towards the door he called softly, "Co? You alright?"
The boy had pulled himself into a tight ball with his arms around his legs and his face resting against his knees so that he was facing down into his lap. He was rocking slowly back and forth from his toes to his bum and back again. Under his breath he was muttering one phrase over and over again, "calm down, calm down, calm down." Harry knelt down and pulled the boy to him, stroking the blond's head repeatedly. "I thought I would know everything."
"What?"
"I thought there would be no more questions. I thought I would understand you once I got my memories back."
"What?" repeated a very stunned Harry.
"I pumped poison into my body to get it to make sense."
"Poison?"
"The potion I used hasn't had favorable results in a hundred and twelve years. But I was getting desperate."
"For what?"
"To understand why you would want me. Why anyone would ever even tolerate my company... let alone enjoy it. So I pumped this shite into my system and it felt like my flesh was burning. And instead of finding the answers to my questions I just found out that none of them are new."
"Draco..."
"Why the fuck are we together? Don't say it's because you love me. Why do you love me? I'm a cunt!"
Harry laughed, "Co, you're not a cunt!"
"No? Then what am I? You never gave me a real answer as to why we're together: just anecdotes. Well guess what? I laughed at your ‘stupid jokes’ because I thought they were funny. And I held your hand in that cinema because I was scared witless."
Unused to Draco being honest Harry was unsure of what to say. "Oh," was all he could think of.
"Shocked, Har?" he asked snidely, "There were huge images of people seemingly bleeding to death. It was loud, dark, and we were in an enclosed room of muggle strangers."
"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I thought you'd enjoy it. Slasher films are supposed to make for fun dates."
"Don't apologize. I was fool enough to go along with you," said the blond coolly. He sounded bored with the memory and the conversation at hand. "Why are you with me, Har, really? What do you get?"
"A better question, Co," he stressed the name as he didn't like Draco calling him Har while berating him, "is why do you care?" He didn't want to explain his feelings when it was so obvious that they weren't returned.
"I need to understand," Draco spoke through gritted teeth as though he was trying to control himself, "We're friendly but not friends. We're lovers but not in love. I need to understand it if we're to go on. I could ignore it before but we've spoken about it so much over the last week that I need to know. Please, explain it to me. Why are you with me?"
After thinking about his words carefully Harry said slowly, "We're very different people." Draco grimaced and it was clear that he was unsatisfied with the answer. "Stand up."
Draco stood with a slightly put out sigh,. All he wanted was a straight answer. "Why am I standing?" His tone suggested Harry was a moron.
"What do you see?" asked Harry gesturing to his mirror.
"Your smart-arse looking glass?"
"Stop being so bloody clever. What do you see in the mirror?" he positioned Draco so that he was standing in the center of the refection.
"Hey, Co!" said the mirror cheerfully, "you need to get normal soon, 'kay? I can only cope with one mental at a time and Harry's got dibs."
"Yes, he's a head case. But he's our head case." Draco smirked at the mirror and then to Harry said, "You did a good job of acting sane while I was being mental."
"I'm sane. I hate it when you two gang up on me. Co, stop winding me up and look in the mirror." Harry was pleased that they were talking like old times.
"All I see," said Draco shaking his head ruefully, "is you and me in a rather posh toilet. So what? I'm too hot to dump? Is that the point of making me look in a mirror?"
"No. Do you know what I see?"
Sneering Draco drawled, "Do tell."
"I see a scared foolish boy and a very strong man."
"I'm not scared!" Draco replied angrily.
"Yes, you are. But I wasn't talking about you. My life has been built off of other people's expectations. I've done exactly what was expected of me. I've never thought for myself. I just did as my parents and Dumbledore wanted barely asking any questions. And no one questioned my motives because they all decided they were noble while really I had none. I've been too cowardly to ever really think about any of it. But you, you fought with me, questioned me, and hated me more than anyone ever has. You forced me to think, and feel, and give a damn. My whole life has been controlled by other people and then you made me realize that I had options. I can’t live my life for them and you made me want to do what I had always seen as being an obligation. You've gone against everything you were taught and you are so brave. You stood up to everyone who questioned you right from your father, to McGonagall, to Fudge. So strong. Someday… someday I hope I have children who are half as amazing as you. What you lack in kindness, thoughtfulness, and tact you make up for with your scary intelligence, caustic wit, and ability to cling to freewill." He shrugged as if to say, "so that's that". His breath was ragged and he felt ill at having admitted so much to Draco. But the boy had seemed genuinely desperate and Harry had felt the strange urge to assure him. Leaning against the sink he tried to compose himself. He had just supplied his lover with months worth of ammo to belittle him with. Shock washed over Harry as his lover took him into his arms. "I'm so sorry," he said as he buried his head in the blond's neck.
"For what?" asked Draco gently as he stroked his boy's hair. "Sorry for what?"
"For making it all so complicated. This is meant to just be fun right? I fucked it up."
"No, Har, you're fine. I get it. Thank you for explaining it." Draco studied his lover's posture for a moment before saying, "I wasn't brave or clever. I'm an idiot."
"No," Harry said trying to comfort the man as he sounded so sad. Harry wasn't sure what was going through the other boy's mind but he wanted to fix it. He pulled away and said, "No."
"Yes," Draco argued testily. "I'm a fool. I didn't think you really loved me. I thought you just loved being in love. I'm sorry, I should have trusted you." He ran his tongue over the back of his front teeth thinking for a moment, "I love you." The only sound was Harry's harsh breathing. Draco swallowed hard before continuing, "I didn't think you really cared for me. I am a cunt. No one really gives a fuck about me... unless I'm in a coma. Even when you said you loved me I didn't believe it because... well, why would you? I've never felt this before and I didn't want to. I'm supposed to be in control of my life. I've always controlled everything and I was slipping. I couldn't tell you because then you'd hold all the Chocolate Frog Cards. I am a coward." Harry opened his mouth to argue but Draco hushed him tiredly, "Say that you can forgive me and come to bed."
The skin under Harry's fingers was cold. Too stunned to react to Draco's admission he said, "Maybe you should be in the infirmary. You're so cold."
"No," Draco moaned as if pained by the idea, "Don't leave me alone. You can keep me warm."
"I'll stay with you down there. I'll even share your bed, screw Madame Pomfrey's sensibilities. Please let her check you out?"
Harry sounded worried but Draco ignored the request, "Bring me to bed, Har. It's just the potion's aftermath. There's nothing she can do; I have to ride it out." Harry seemed to calm down at his lover's words so Draco spoke softly when he asked, "Make love to me? It'll keep me warm," he justified.
"What?" Harry was still too dazed to have fully taken in everything. "You're sick, Co, you don't want to supplicate yourself to me. Trust me, you'll regret this in the morning." His tone was resigned and Draco wanted to stab his own eye out with his wand for making the mage feel like that.
Draco tipped his lover's chin up and kissed him softly. All he could think was, I'm almost eighteen and this is my first real kiss. Breaking away he said, "Not supplication just love. I always wanted this; I was just too much of a coward to ask. Couldn't let you in... literally," he laughed dryly.
Not amused Harry sounded completely fogged over as he said, "You kissed me... You don't like kissing. You don't kiss me. It's intimate and unhygienic."
Without pause Draco reclaimed Harry's mouth. He licked the dark boy's lower lip in a plea for admission. Startled Harry jumped a little before tentatively parting his lips. The dark boy laughed into Draco's mouth in slight hysterics but the sound was quickly swallowed. Harry was warm to the touch and, without opening his eyes, Draco knew the mage was blushing. Their tongues fought for dominance and the battle was as violent and tenacious as their verbal spars. Pulling at Harry's robes Draco tried to get a purchase on his lover's hips so that he could pull Harry up to his height. Shaking fingers managed to lift him a few inches, forcing Harry to stand on tiptoe. He grabbed Draco's shoulder in an attempt to keep his balance. He lost the fight with gravity as he fell against the blond, their lips parted to steal gasps of air. A hiss escaped from Harry as he felt a hardness under Draco's robes rub against his stomach.
"And you said you didn't like snogging," laughed Harry breathlessly.
"It's not that," panted Draco, "i's the honesty. Feels so good to not be lying." He let go of his death hold on Harry's hips and allowed him to stand normally. Leaning down slowly, he kissed Harry with near painful tenderness. A silent pledge of love, acceptance, and protection was offered and accepted there in the Head Boy's toilet.
As if only just noticing their surroundings Harry said firmly, "It's no good. Invalids should be in bed." He waited for Draco to frown before adding, "With their extremely randy lovers."
"No!" cried the mirror, "It's just getting good."
"If you’re lucky we'll fuck in the shower tomorrow," Draco said with a grin as he pulled Harry out of the smallest room by his collar. Discarding clothes as they went, the pair failed to make it to bed. Half way across the distance Draco dropped to his knees to nuzzle his lover's stomach.
Standing half naked Harry laughed, "What are you doing?"
"Worshipping," whispered Draco as he stroked the puncture wound on Harry's left hip. He lavished attention on the scar. Before he hadn't understood Harry's fascination with the scar on his body that mirrored the one he was currently licking. Now he got it. The mark stood as proof that they could have destroyed one another as easily as save each other. Harry stood over him whole, proud, strong, and his.
Attacking the boy's trousers and pants, Draco had him naked in moments. He smiled up at Harry and winked as he swallowed him whole. The mage's eyes slammed shut and Draco smirked which was difficult with a full mouth. Deep throating, Draco reflected, was a lot like riding a broom. If you were talented you could go without practice for months and still be damn good when it came time to climb back on... so to speak. As he swallowed again Harry's eyes opened and met his gaze. Draco never broke eye contact as he pulled back slowly to pull in a breath through his nose, all the while licking the underside of his lover's dick. It was with deliberately painful slowness that he swallowed the boy again.
Harry looked as though he might cry and Draco knew he wouldn't last much longer. He took pity on the boy he was torturing. It had been an age since they'd really been together and he couldn't expect to draw it out for hours. Reaching up, he took Harry's hands in his own and squeezed lightly relaying comfort and permission. The gentleness and affection of the action was Harry's undoing. There was no sound save for a panted, "Co," and Harry felt his knees give out. Draco released his hands and grabbed Harry's hips before he could fall. Their eyes remained locked as Draco swallowed Harry's spend. He was humming happily as he licked Harry clean. As he lapped away the last traces of Harry's taste he could already feel his lover hardening under his tongue's ministrations. Thank god for the quick recuperation time of teenage boys.
Harry was panting for breath as he ran his fingers through Draco's damp curls. The boy always looked so young when perspiration caused his hair to curl. Still watching Draco's eyes, Harry slid his hands down his lover's face to cup his cheeks. "Thank you," he whispered as he regained the use of his legs and straightened up.
As Draco released him the blond stood up slowly. Smiling as Harry continued to stroke his face he said, "I love you." He dropped his head to the mage's shoulder and rubbed his forehead against solid muscle as he caught his breath.
"Really?" asked Harry as though it was the first time he'd heard the words. The tone was surprised, wary, and tentatively happy.
"So much so it hurts." Draco lifted his head to look at Harry, "I always have." They started to move towards beds at a slow pace. Draco was walking backwards as he didn't want to look away from his boy's happy face. Harry blushed slightly at the intense attention; he was totally stunned and pleased by the revelation. Draco suppressed the guilt he felt for having made the amazing man doubt himself and kissed the dark boy's nose. He assumed that his lover wouldn't appreciate a come flavoured snog and was shocked when Harry attacked his mouth. Indeed, Harry explored his mouth as though he was on an expedition to seek his own flavour. He seemed to be searching for proof that he had marked Draco. As that thought occurred to him Draco pulled away to speak, "I belong to you. I'm yours. I've never been with anyone else. Never wanted to be with anyone else. I'll never be with anyone else," he promised. "And for some reason," he laughed dryly, "it doesn't scare me the way it should." He smiled as he watched Harry bite his lip. "Don't cry; this is happy."
"He's a mental!" called the mirror happily.
"I'll shut the door!" Draco threatened in an equally jubilant voice while Harry just laughed. The backs of his knees hit the frame of the un-scorched bed. Draco fell back and pulled Harry with him. He made a huffing noise as Harry was lying on top of him. "Oomph, Potter, you need to get back on a broom: you're getting fat," he said it in a gasping voice as if he was being squished by his lover's weight. But as he ran his fingers over his lover's concave stomach he said softly, "Har, you're so thin."
"So are you," said Harry defensively.
"I was in a coma."
"Try eating while your lover's in a coma." There was an accusation in the voice as though Harry thought Draco was judging him and so was trying to preemptively attack the boy.
"Don't cry," Draco said shaking his head. The mirror said nothing. It wasn't because it was afraid of the door being shut. It just knew when to hold its metaphysical tongue. "You're beautiful. And now I get to fatten you up."
"Oh yeah?" Harry laughed, "You got a protein shake for me?"
"Later," Draco leered as he started exploring Harry's warm skin which was sticky not from his own sweat but from Draco's. The potion had made him so cold, so how was it that he was drenched in sweat? Harry wasn't questioning it; instead he was happily licking perspiration off of Draco's chest.
"Essence of Co," he murmured as he closed his eyes savoring the taste.
"Perv."
"Why are you sill wearing pants?"
Glancing down Draco said, "A better question," he purposefully quoted his lover's earlier words, "is why am I wearing these pants?"
As he pulled off the tighty-whities Harry shrugged, "I kind of think they're hot."
"Well you're a perv." Draco flinched as the boy swatted his stomach.
Everything about their movements was slow and gentle. After months apart Draco would have expected their coupling to be urgent and violent. He had always thought that, if he got up the courage to tell Harry the truth, neither of them would be able to sit for days. But this was so much better. Each languid touch and kiss was soft and almost shy. Each muscle he stroked on Harry's back felt new and better. For the first time it all felt real.
Harry started sliding down his body but Draco moaned as if he was in pain, "What?" Asked the boy, stunned by the sound.
"Miss your mouth," Draco whinged.
"Don't worry. You'll get it back in a second." Comprehension eluded Draco until Harry lowered his tongue to Draco's erection, "See?" he smirked, "You didn't lose it."
With mounting horror Draco realized that he was already very close. "Har," he said urgently. Green eyes flickered up to his face in acknowledgement of the name. "You've barely touched me but-" he choked on his words as Harry's tongue did something very clever.
Breaking away Harry drew breath before saying, "We have all night, Co." He smiled warmly and looked away, focusing again on his activity. Misunderstanding the comment Draco gasped. Was Harry going to keep him on edge all night? He nearly cried as a newspaper headline popped into his head, "Draco: in Good Health But at the Price of his Bollocks." The tagline would read: "Insiders say that the build up of spunk and magic caused the pair to fall off. Albus Dumbledore speaks for us all in saying, 'It's a tragedy'." Starting to slip into bleak thoughts of never producing an heir, he was startled by the sound of his lover's voice when Harry said, "All night. Come as many times as you like. Just don't fall asleep on me."
He caressed Draco's thigh as his lips slipped down again. He carefully ran his teeth over the flesh. Draco exploded and his vision went black as he had a flash of hypoglycemia. Sugar couldn't reach his brain as all of his blood had surged downwards. A voice in his head (sounding suspiciously like Miss Granger's) said, "You got off on a bite? You think it's hard having progeny without testicles? Try doing it without a dick." She didn't understand. Always before he had kept a stranglehold of control on their relationship. He had never allowed anything to happen without his say so. Fear had motivated his planning and he had spent all his time safeguarding himself against letting Harry hurt him.
Now he had given total reign over to his lover and it felt amazing. He trusted Harry completely. And the bite, a reminder of danger, was a turn on because he knew that Harry wouldn't do anything he wouldn't enjoy. He felt more empowered than ever before. They were on a level Quidditch field and, if he wanted to regain control, Harry would instantly allow it. Yes, Draco had the power to control the man who was controlling him. "You wouldn't get it," he scorned Hermione silently. She laughed smugly and said, "Sure I do. It's called S&M." He turned his mind off completely and refocused on Harry.
The mage was smiling knowingly at him, "Back with me?" his voice was muffled and his cheeks were puffed as if-
"Why didn't you swallow?" he asked not understanding his lover at all in that moment.
"Iva plan," said Harry thickly.
"Why don't you spit it out?"
"Ith far too good fer tha'," he started to lick at Draco's hip while still holding the come in his mouth. Gently stroking his half hard lover he said, "Don' freak ow a' this. Jus' enjoy it." Harry pushed the blond's legs apart and caused them to bend at the knee while the soles remained flat on the mattress. Reaching for a pillow he tapped Draco's hips commandingly, "Lif' up fer me." He slid the pillow under the small of Draco's back, "Comp-fy?" The blond nodded but tensed as he realized his lover's intentions. Actually feeling his temperature rise he wasn't shocked when Harry told him, "Yer bottom's blu-thing. Youva talented bottom."
"Har, you don't have t-"
"You've done it t' me a thou-dand timeths. Relackth."
"Relax," he nearly shouted as panic filled him.
"You'll like it. Promith." Harry caressed his thighs as he tentatively licked the blond's tiny entrance.
Draco felt like squirming in his embarrassment. But hadn't he just been thinking that he'd given total control over to Harry? He didn't want to take it back so quickly. It felt oddly comforting and warm as Harry lapped at his skin. Trying to calm down his anxiety he thought to watch Harry from an analytical vantage. He could watch it subjectively as the rimmee instead of rimmer. As he looked down his body, he saw the tip of his boy's tongue disappear as it dipped inside of him. All thought of logical study died as he felt Harry inside of him. His lover was gently opening him up and Draco couldn't breathe. The green eyed boy looked at him, cocking an eyebrow as Draco moaned again. The tongue fucked its way deeper inside of him and the rasp of taste buds on his inner walls made him reach for Harry's dark hair. Scared, he feared he was going to die from his lack of air but the feel of unruly hair grounded him.
Closing his eyes, Harry felt totally blissed out. He could barely breathe and he didn't care. All he could taste, feel, smell, and hear was his Co. This was heaven. His lover was acting wanton. Draco had lost his inner battle and had never looked hotter to Harry. The boy was always so desperate to be calm and cool and now he was whimpering as he curled his fingers into Harry's disheveled mop. The mage had done this to him and Harry was proud of himself. He'd never done this before and he was relishing every second as he slid his tongue in and out of his lover's body slowly. Draco wasn't tense anymore and Harry decided it was time to move on to phase two. He was going to do something that Draco had never done to him; something he'd been obsessing over. Glancing up he made sure that Draco was watching. As he pulled himself out of Draco completely the boy whimpered again and Harry wanted to kiss him, but there were more pressing matters at hand. Licking the inside of his cheek he gathered up some of the precious liquid he'd been storing there. He cupped his tongue so that the fluid escape as he slowly re-entered Draco's body.
It was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. Harry repeatedly lapped the come out of his mouth and deposited it inside of him. It was like watching someone eat a cream egg backwards. And he could tell Harry was enjoying it more than if he was a chocolate custard filled egg. The boy would linger inside of him, slowly manipulating the spunk inside of Draco. His tongue was dancing with the spend, playing, tickling him. As the last of the liquid was placed lovingly inside of him Harry seemed to be kissing his bum. It was tender, and sexy, and no where near as disgusting as Draco would have expected. He couldn't let himself come again: he wouldn't be able to get hard again. A hiss escaped from him as Harry dragged himself up his body. The friction was torture When the boy was finally laying with him, Draco kissed him harshly, "I don't think I'm going to be able to let you bottom ever again."
"Good?" asked Harry shyly which was ridiculous under the circumstances.
"Amazing."
"I had a good teacher," Harry was shaking a little and Draco was pleased to see that the boy was finally sweating so that Draco wasn't alone as he dripped. Harry looked at him from under his eyelashes and he sounded apologetic for broaching the subject when he asked, "But... you didn't come? It just wasn't your thing?"
"No I want it to last." Draco laughed ruefully, "I don't think -well with the coma and all-"
"I promise I'll get you standing to attention again."
"Har, honestly-"
"I promise," he stressed the word with such conviction that Draco was beguiled into nodding. Harry slowly rubbed their hips together in small circles. The heat and pressure was delicious as they moved against each other. They were drenched in each other's sweat while their breaths were short. Draco shut his eyes as his orgasm hit him moments before Harry's. The dark haired boy reached between them. With one upward tug he had his lover hard again. When he saw the astonishment on Draco visage he laughed, "I'm a mage." He said it like it was new news.
"Bottle it and sell it. Better than any potion."
"Can't bottle it and wouldn't want to. It's my magic in the raw. It's akin to prostitution. The only one who benefits from my talents is my Co." He nuzzled affectionately against his boyfriend and patted his head gently, "Only you."
The words hit him like a physical thing and he had to catch his breath, "I need you."
"You have me," Harry assured him.
"No. I mean, make love to me?" It was meant as a command but came out as a weak question.
"You're sure about this?"
"As sure as Dumbledore has screwed Flitwich."
Harry's eyes widened, "That's pretty sure." He snapped his fingers and caught the vial of conjured oil as it fell out of the air, "Aren't you lucky to date a mage?"
Shaking his head Draco said, "No forget the slick. Just you and me." He didn't want anything artificial on him. He gestured at their stomachs, "We're covered in spunk and I'm filled with it already. Nothing else is needed."
"Co, even in the admittedly abundant amounts we have, jizz isn't a lubricant for the first time. It's not enough and I don't want to hurt you. First times need to be perfect. Yours will be, promise. Mine was." He uncorked the bottle and sniffed it with a sigh. His eyes shut heavily as he pushed the bottle under Draco's nose. It smelled of Harry and the scent made Draco gasp. Shrugging Harry said, "Need to mark you. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, my first time." He slicked his hands in the oil and started massaging Draco's abdomen. He started to relate the story as though he was telling it to a friend in a pub, "I was with this blond who I'd been lusting over forever. But I was scared shitless too, right? And he kept reassuring me and saying he'd take good care of me. And, honestly, I've never felt so safe and happy in my whole life. It was probably the most intense night of my life... right up 'til this one." He laughed happily as he soothingly kneaded Draco's hips. "Recently I learned that he had no idea what he was doing. But it was amazing so he was either very intuitive or he'd done research."
Laughing Draco looked down as he said softly, "There's a store in Diagon Ally devoted to the subject."
Harry touched Draco's chin to turn his face back, "Don't look away. And keep your eyes open." Draco always shut his eyes when things got too strong. He'd been afraid that Harry would be able to read him if they'd remained open. Now he nodded. Leaning down to kiss him, Harry slid one slippery digit into the boy. Again Draco twined his fingers into dark hair.
It felt strange to kiss with his eyes open. It broke etiquette. But Harry looked like he might devour him and Draco liked seeing that look. The digit passed over a place inside of him that made him bite down on the thing he'd been nibbling on: Harry's lower lip. "I am so sorry," he said as blood started trickling down the mage's chin. Feeling horribly embarrassed he finally allowed his eyes to fall shut.
"Don't look away," said a firm voice. Upon opening his eyes again Draco was greeted with his lover's wide grin, "I kind of think it's hot," Harry repeated his earlier words as he ran his finger over the external wound. It healed instantly but Harry's teeth were stained pink and his inner lip was still bleeding.
"Perv."
"So you keep saying," said Harry dismissively as he decided the conversation was over and breached Draco's body with a second digit. When he kissed Draco the blond moaned. Draco sucked on his tongue like a lollypop. A blood, come, and sweat flavoured lollypop. But Harry understood the motivation, his blood tasted of magic: strong, and heady, and sharp. "I'm the perv?" Pulling his fingers out he rested himself against Draco's opening and spoke seriously and quietly as he said, "If anything feels funny, or hurts, or you just don't like it tell me, okay?"
With a sarcastic laugh Draco spoke in a jaded, mordant tone, "And you'll stop."
"Of course," he saw the boy was taken aback and added, "You'd do the same for me." He slowly pushed inside his lover.
Allowing one of his hands to slip from Harry's hair Draco reached to hold the man's shoulder, "I know. It's just... no, it's nothing."
Not ceasing in his slow movement Harry touched Draco's face with the hand that wasn't supporting his weight, "It's not nothing."
Shrugging Draco replied, "After? We'll talk after. Let's not ruin this." Harry looked concerned but nodded in acquiescence. As the head finally slipped fully inside of him he took in a short, surprised breath of air. He threw back his head slightly trying to keep eye contact with Harry and get some more oxygen into his lungs.
"Alright?" asked Harry worriedly.
Draco wiggled his bum on the pillow as he tried to pull Harry in quickly. Harry was smirking at him which wasn't fair as it was a Malfoy smirk. There was too much space between their bodies and it was driving him mad. Glancing over he saw that Harry was supporting himself with one hand as the other was still holding his face. With a smirk of his own he moved his arm to hit Harry's wrist with enough force to knock it out from under the mage. "Much better," said Draco as he wrapped his leg's around his lover's waist.
"Oomph," the breath was pushed out of Harry's chest upon impact, "I'll squish you," he complained.
"No, you really won't," Draco reassured his slight lover. Pushing his hips down he impaled himself with a hiss.
"Should have gone slower," Harry's voice held a silent "told you so" in it. When Draco tried to move, Harry's hands, now free, came to rest on his thighs, "Give it a minute. Good things come to those who wait."
"Yes, but the meek won't inherit the earth!" Draco's eyes were wide. Harry was making him feel so warm and full that he felt he had to either move or drop down dead.
"No," Harry sounded confused, "they will inherit the earth." Smiling widely he leaned in to kiss his boy.
The kiss made everything better. Time stopped as Harry seemed to pet every nerve ending and make things less painful. "He's right there with you," said the voice sounding like Granger's. He smiled into the kiss as he thought, yes, and he always will be. Pulling back he said breathlessly, "I wish I told you how I felt two years ago." He dove back into Harry.
But the boy pulled away to correct him, "We've only been together for a year and a half."
"And I should have told you two years ago."
Green eyes dilated with lust and Harry caressed his sides saying, "You have to let me up a little, Co."
"Why? I like you being so close." Maybe he'd been wrong to admit to the longevity of his feelings. Maybe he'd scared Harry.
"Because at this angle I don't have the leverage to fuck you into the mattress." At the explanation Draco instantly relaxed his legs a bit. "Good boy, Co. Now keep your eyes open."
"Pushy, pushy. Granger's right: you're a dom." He smiled as he responded to his lover's slow, small thrusts.
"When did she say that?" asked Harry as he kissed a path along Draco's clavicle.
"She's been in my head."
"You heard her? You believe me: that I hear her too?
Harry looked so pleased but Draco rolled his eyes, "No. I'm just going as crazy as you."
"Har's a nutcase!" called the mirror cheerfully causing Draco to laugh.
"I'm so glad you bought that. He's highly entertaining."
"Quiet."
"Says the dom." Draco smirked but did as he was told when Harry rubbed over that spot inside that left him panting for air.
Falling into stride the mage quickened his pace slightly and was pleased as Draco reacted and met him thrust for thrust. He kissed Draco's forehead and said, "This okay?"
"I'm not allowed to talk," Draco tried to smile smugly but couldn't quite do that and breathe so he aborted the usual victorious arrogance.
"It's okay, you can."
"No, I really can't," Draco bit out between gritted teeth. His immaculate nails bit into Harry's back and shoulder and were sullied with blood.
Against his boy's lips Harry whispered, "You're so fucking tight."
The words were amazingly dirty when they came from the sinfully innocent mouth of the boy that lived. Draco was snogging his lover before he could even consider the course of action. After an age of avoiding the act he was now drowning in it. It was… fun, and hot, and alive. They spent so much time discussing death and war and this was as good as shouting "Fuck it". It spat in the face of everything: Voldemort, The Order, Death himself.
Wiping at the blond's face Harry said, "I thought we said no tears?"
He hadn't even realized he was crying. Embarrassed Draco said by way of an explanation, "I love kissing you." His breath was hard and labored. He laughed at the sheer ludicrousness of the scene, "We're both such poofs."
"That's not a bad thing," Harry kissed him lightly, "I like being a hopeless romantic."
Snorting Draco said, "You would."
As he reached between them to stroke Draco's erection the mage said, "I like being painfully in love with you. If that makes me lame and massively gay, oh well."
He chuckled tiredly. Even as their bodies slammed together a feeling of deep calm and relaxation slid over him. The truth had been aired and Harry still loved him. He thought of the many promises Harry had made in the course of the night. He'd followed through on all of them. Maybe god and the powers were on their side at the moment. "Har?"
"Uhm?"
"Promise me something."
"Anything."
"That were together to the end."
"'Til the last fucking minute," Harry kissed him hard and again Draco's vision went patchy but he kept his eyes open. "I promise." Their movements were growing erratic as they got closer. Breaths were becoming even shorter and more desperate and Harry nearly choked saying, "Love you forever."
With a last gasp Draco came. He fought to keep his eyes open: to watch Harry. The blond's inner walls spasmed and convulsed around the mage and he lost control. Their spend mixed inside of Draco as they laid together for a few silent moments. Irreverently breaking the peace Draco said, "Top ten ever."
Laughing at the fact that his lover was already rating their sex, Harry said, "Y'know something?"
"What?"
"We are friends. And we have been for a long time."
"But I'm Draco Malfoy, the Malfoy heir: I'm supposed to have cool friends." He laughed as Harry smacked his hip. He saw Harry drifting off but they still had a lot to talk about so he made a move to piss off his lover, "That was an amazing fuck."
Eyes flying open Harry said, "That wasn't a fuck."
"No," Draco smirked, "For one thing we never stopped chatting."
Defensively Harry said, "We had a lot to discuss."
"And we still do," Draco spoke in a placating tone.
"Okay," the mage still sounded put out, "for starters, why were you shocked when I said I would stop if you asked?"
He flinched; he had been hoping his lover had forgotten that, "I just-"
Interrupting angrily the dark boy spat out, "You don't think I'm considerate enough?"
"No," that had never even occurred to him.
"Then what?" The dejected and bitter tone of the question made the blond flinch again.
Draco paused. He really didn't want to answer, "I just never expected that sort of consideration from… anyone."
Clearly it was a reply Harry hadn't been prepared for. Thrown off kilter the boy asked, "Why not?"
Swallowing convulsively Draco considered his reply. The truth wasn't going to please the mage but he was trying to be honest. And so, throwing caution and sense to the wind he said, "Because I don't deserve it and I'm not really worth it." He saw the horror on Harry's face and he shut his eyes, "respect is something you work for and I've never put in the effort, not for that sort of respect anyway." He shrugged, still not opening eyes, "Pretty pathetic, huh? I don't even respect me. I know you love me so, even if you hurt me, it wouldn't be malicious. I don't know what I expected, Har, you just caught me off guard when you said it."
"But," the mage's voice was gentle now, "care like that should be taken for granted. No one is allowed to hurt you; anyone should stop if you say stop. Otherwise it's just-"
He didn't want to hear the word out of his lover's mouth so he started to argue before Harry even started, "I've taken nothing about you for granted because I was sure this would end poorly and sooner rather than later so I just appreciated everything, not outwardly though obviously. And it wouldn't be rape never -no matter how badly it hurt- not with you."
Harry was shaking against his as he asked, "Why?"
"You love me. There are no circumstances under which it would be anything but making love."
"You're saying you'd enjoy my raping you?" the question sounded shaky and frightened.
"No. I'm saying that if it was motivated by love I'd enjoy it." Opening his eyes he glared at Harry. The gray glinted dangerously in the dim light, "You could break my body and just so long as you adored me I would consider my gift to you gladly given. I guess I am the perv because you could make me bleed to death and if you held me as I drained and told me that you loved me and that I was pretty, I would still get off on it." Shaking his head tiredly he said, "Are we done debasing me? We have other topics."
Harry was scared. He'd never realized how much pull he had over the boy. The responsibility of protecting Draco finally hit home. Maybe that was why Dumbledore had made him Head Boy and given him a private room. He wasn't meant to fix Draco but to protect him once he was fixed. He almost felt grateful to the man… almost. "Of course. I'm sorry. I love you. I would never abuse your affections like that, promise."
Uncomfortable with the apology Draco announced, "I spoke to Severus after I saw Blaise, just before I came back here. He's going with me to see my father tomorrow. I'm going to beg him to let me back in to the family. Once he lets his guard down I plan on killing him. It's not vengeance, really, I'm just taking care of the threat." His lover tried to pull away but stopped when he felt Draco's hands caressing his skin, "Stay with me a little longer? You feel amazing inside of me, like I have the all power of a mage."
"Don't kill him," Harry knew that Draco was deeply torn over his father and worried that murdering the man would upset the blond in ways Draco couldn't anticipate. "Let Snape do it: he'll enjoy it."
Pulling back slightly Draco asked, "Do you think I can't do it? You've seen me kill in the past."
"I know you can. I just don't think you should have to deal with the guilt you will feel. Snape won't feel that. He's hated the man for years. He only hasn't killed him yet because of you and because he'd no longer be able to spy. If he uses your wand the Ministry will think you did it. They won't punish you. You're the nation's sweetheart. And they know I'm on your side and no one wants to upset the boy who lived." He sounded bitter at the title and it reminded Draco of one other promise.
All of Harry's ideas sounded so logical and Draco nodded, "Another promise?"
"Why all the promises?" asked Harry softly.
"Because everything you've said tonight came true. If the powers are rooting for us right now I want to exploit it."
"When I found out about your memories I told the powers they could fix you or fuck themselves. Maybe this is our night of grace. . . before they expect us to do their bidding again."
"Maybe," Draco agreed cupping Harry's face in his hands, "and this is about that in a way. If you die, before me, promise me you'll pass-over and not linger here as a ghost just to keep me company. I'll fend for myself until I can be with you again. Okay?" The whole thing scared him badly. In the weeks before his father had broken out of jail it was all he had thought about.
"Where is this coming from?" Harry hoped he could assuage his lover's obvious worry without committing himself to the strange pact.
"When you speak about the government, or the powers and god, or the war you sound so tired and resigned. You wrote a will. You even got it witnessed. You think you'll kill each other: that you won't make it through the ‘last stand’. And if you're already accepting it, you won't make it. That's okay, if that's the way you have to think to get through it. But once it does happen move on. I can see you trying to stay to protect me. Don't. Go up there and I'll find you later."
Again Harry was struck by the power he had to affect Draco. That his morbid fascination with his imminent death had caused Draco to think things out so thoroughly. "I won't die. That's my promise. I'm gonna win outright."
"Excuse me?" asked the blond thinking he'd misheard.
"You're right, I've taken this laying down. He has some stupid cause to live for but I've got you and a future. So I'll win. I have no choice, it's already decided. It seems so obvious now." The blond was struck dumb as Harry kissed his nose in closing. "I think we should go to sleep now. Big day tomorrow." Draco just nodded still unable to find his tongue. With slow grace Harry pulled out of him and moved off of the taller boy. Turning on his side the mage pulled his lover back against him saying, "Night, Co, sleep well."
Draco turned over and said, "Are you still having conversations with my evil clone when you sleep?" he saw Harry's shock, the boy had been trying to keep the dreams a secret from him. "I didn't realize until I got my memories. You did a good job of covering up but I know you and I know the way you look the morning after a nightmare."
"I'm still having them," Harry said in an uneasy tone.
"We can't have him finding out about this turn. I don't know if you've realized this but that's not a dream, it's Voldemort. Now that I am whole again I know his signature. That thing in your head isn't of your making."
"I figured that out the second night."
"Okay, this will be horrible, but I'm going to be a Pensieve for you. But I'm going to take them completely. It's the only way, you're useless at Occlumency." Harry nodded and Draco said, "I swear you'll get your memories back in ten minutes. He usually visits the instant people fall asleep and only stays a few minutes for fear of being caught out. Are you okay with this?"
"What memories are you gonna take?" asked Harry.
"Everything from tonight. But in under a half hour you'll have them back. I'm sorry."
"It's the only way. I understand." He kissed Draco.
"Okay," Draco breathed in deeply. He touched the boy's temples and said, "Don't look away from my eyes." He pulled the last ten hours out of Harry's mind and hated himself for doing so.
"Co?" asked Harry softly, "did you get your memories?"
"Yeah, you bastard. You made me go into a coma." Draco climbed out of bed and said, "I'm going back to my father in the morning. Maybe it's not too late to get the mark." He climbed out of the bed and stomped over to the other one.
He listened to Harry who was trying to cry silently. He curled up and held his knees as he listened to the boy fall asleep. Harry made whimpering noises and then said in his sleep, "This is your fault: you took him from me! And now he's going back to your lapdog!" He listened to Harry moaning softly as if pained. Finally after a few minutes his breathing became even and Draco knew the dream was done. He practically ran to the bed.
"Wake up," he climbed under the covers.
"You're not gone?" Harry said bitterly.
"Look into my eyes for a moment?" Draco touched the boy's forehead and let all the memories flow back. "Okay?" Harry nodded silently and Draco said, "I'm sorry. I know it's a total violation."
"No, it made sense. It's okay."
"Are *you* okay?" Draco asked, staring into his lover's eyes. It was a rather complicated piece of magic to cast not once but twice in a half hour. He grabbed his wand from the bedside and said, "Lumos." He shined it in Harry's eyes and saw that his pupils reacted. Snape had taught him the skill years before but he had never had an occasion to use it on such an immense scale before. "I love you."
"Say it again," Harry demanded shakily.
"I love you." He kissed Harry slowly, putting everything he had left into it. "Come to bed now, you must be exhausted." Draco wrapped himself around the mage and Harry relaxed and held him close. "I love you," Draco said again and Harry smiled brightly.
"This has been a very long day," Harry said softly and he kissed Draco again, lightly, affectionately before he shut his eyes and slipped into a dreamless sleep.
Draco stayed awake for an age.
next
"Now? I'm at a good bit," whined Harry.
"Now, Potter."
"Fine, you bastard," muttered Harry loudly as he shut the tub and put it into his pocket.
Draco stomped upstairs as Harry followed hot on his heals. Casting a silencing spell on the room Draco watched his lover lock the door. "I love that act; you're so hot when you're angry."
"So it worked then?" Harry asked as he walked towards Draco.
"Like a dream," Draco said sinking down on the edge of his bed, "I feel as sick as a pig. I had to leave the infirmary quickly: Madame Pomfrey was ready to keep me over night." After studying his green lover Harry got him a cold glass of water from the sink in the toilet. "Thanks," said Draco sipping it slowly, "I threw up all over Severus and then he followed me out so I had to fake being well because he's liable to be more protective than her. Saw Blaise, told him the happy news, had a quick word with Sev, and dragged myself back up here."
Feeling Draco's too-cold forehead Harry said, "Maybe you should be in the infirmary."
"No, I don't want to spend tonight with all my memories in a sterile white metal bed." The blond drank his water while Harry watched him. Putting aside the empty glass, Draco stood, stretched, and said, "Besides, we need to talk."
Harry felt his face blanch. He had wanted to just forget everything. He had thought -from the way he was talking- that Draco wanted that too. "Can't we just forget the last two months?"
"No, too much happened."
"Please, Co, I only said the things I did because you needed to hear them."
"I never knew how badly you needed to be told that I love you."
"I don't! I'm fine."
"You aren't fine, Har." Draco shouted as he loomed over his short lover. "This isn't fine."
Looking down Harry whispered "Please."
"Please what?"
"Don't leave me," Harry looked him in the eye and desperation was clear all over his face. It was a plea more than a comment when he said, "We're so good together."
"Oh. I didn't realize. I didn't know that ‘good together’ meant that one of us would end up in a coma and the other would be one solid mass of neuroses."
With a nod Harry said, "I get it. I wouldn't want to be with the guy who caused me to have a coma, either. It's okay."
"It wasn't your fault."
"I should have been there."
"You told me not to go home but I wouldn't listen to you. I thought my father would play by the rules and stay in prison. But he didn't and, of course, he knew I wasn't a spy. He's not a fool. And when his fist hit my face I thought, 'I should have listened to Harry.' It wasn't your fault."
"Okay," said Harry feeling beaten down and not able to argue. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Before, I thought I was in love with you. But I didn't even understand what that meant."
"I know-" started Harry but Draco interrupted.
"No. You don't. I heard you and Blaise. But you don't know what I'm going to say."
"I do. Don't say it. I know you don't love me. It's fine, but don't say it. Don't rub it in. Can't we just forget this and pick up where we left off?"
"So you would be happy to stay with someone who doesn't love you?"
"I just want to be with you," Harry said as he sat down heavily on his bed. It had been a long day and he was awfully tired. His eyes stung from staring into the fire for so long, his head pounded from the shouting, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep. Reaching out he took Draco's hand, "Can't we talk about this tomorrow? I know some part of you still wants me."
"You're telling me to think with my dick? I was right: I have treated you like a whore. And what do you get in return? A warm body to stave off your nightmares?"
"Fine, don't come to bed with me. Continue this fight by yourself because I'm going to sleep." He kicked off his shoes, threw aside his glasses, and climbed into bed fully dressed save for his socks. Before he shut the curtains he said, "I'm pleased you got your memories back. I hope you'll sleep easy now."
"I can't," said Draco looking at the now shut curtains, "I'm madly in love with you."
The curtains sprung open without the help of human hands. Blue flames ate at the material and Harry was staring at him, eyes blue. Blue, liquid-less tears were pouring down his face as he said, "Shut up. Now is not a good time for one of your mind fucks. It's not clever or funny. I'm not amused and you shouldn't be either if you have any sense of self-preservation." He looked at the boy expectantly.
With his eyes cast down Draco said, "No it wasn't funny. I'm sorry." Harry pulled the ragged curtains closed around him as Draco walked into the toilet with an angry sigh. He washed his face with cool water. Even though he was physically cold he was sweating and he wanted to be clean. Toeing off his trainers Draco let the coldness of the flagstones sink into him via the soles of his feet. Breathing deeply he told himself to calm down. He wasn't sure if his shaking was caused by the potion or anger. All he wanted was for it to stop.
After twenty minutes of silence Harry wondered what had become of his lover. He knew Draco had not gone to bed because he would have heard the boy. The joke hadn't been funny but maybe he over reacted. Feeling guilty Harry pulled open the tattered curtains and saw light pouring out of the toilet. He reached for his glasses so he could make out a shape on the floor. As he walked slowly towards the door he called softly, "Co? You alright?"
The boy had pulled himself into a tight ball with his arms around his legs and his face resting against his knees so that he was facing down into his lap. He was rocking slowly back and forth from his toes to his bum and back again. Under his breath he was muttering one phrase over and over again, "calm down, calm down, calm down." Harry knelt down and pulled the boy to him, stroking the blond's head repeatedly. "I thought I would know everything."
"What?"
"I thought there would be no more questions. I thought I would understand you once I got my memories back."
"What?" repeated a very stunned Harry.
"I pumped poison into my body to get it to make sense."
"Poison?"
"The potion I used hasn't had favorable results in a hundred and twelve years. But I was getting desperate."
"For what?"
"To understand why you would want me. Why anyone would ever even tolerate my company... let alone enjoy it. So I pumped this shite into my system and it felt like my flesh was burning. And instead of finding the answers to my questions I just found out that none of them are new."
"Draco..."
"Why the fuck are we together? Don't say it's because you love me. Why do you love me? I'm a cunt!"
Harry laughed, "Co, you're not a cunt!"
"No? Then what am I? You never gave me a real answer as to why we're together: just anecdotes. Well guess what? I laughed at your ‘stupid jokes’ because I thought they were funny. And I held your hand in that cinema because I was scared witless."
Unused to Draco being honest Harry was unsure of what to say. "Oh," was all he could think of.
"Shocked, Har?" he asked snidely, "There were huge images of people seemingly bleeding to death. It was loud, dark, and we were in an enclosed room of muggle strangers."
"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I thought you'd enjoy it. Slasher films are supposed to make for fun dates."
"Don't apologize. I was fool enough to go along with you," said the blond coolly. He sounded bored with the memory and the conversation at hand. "Why are you with me, Har, really? What do you get?"
"A better question, Co," he stressed the name as he didn't like Draco calling him Har while berating him, "is why do you care?" He didn't want to explain his feelings when it was so obvious that they weren't returned.
"I need to understand," Draco spoke through gritted teeth as though he was trying to control himself, "We're friendly but not friends. We're lovers but not in love. I need to understand it if we're to go on. I could ignore it before but we've spoken about it so much over the last week that I need to know. Please, explain it to me. Why are you with me?"
After thinking about his words carefully Harry said slowly, "We're very different people." Draco grimaced and it was clear that he was unsatisfied with the answer. "Stand up."
Draco stood with a slightly put out sigh,. All he wanted was a straight answer. "Why am I standing?" His tone suggested Harry was a moron.
"What do you see?" asked Harry gesturing to his mirror.
"Your smart-arse looking glass?"
"Stop being so bloody clever. What do you see in the mirror?" he positioned Draco so that he was standing in the center of the refection.
"Hey, Co!" said the mirror cheerfully, "you need to get normal soon, 'kay? I can only cope with one mental at a time and Harry's got dibs."
"Yes, he's a head case. But he's our head case." Draco smirked at the mirror and then to Harry said, "You did a good job of acting sane while I was being mental."
"I'm sane. I hate it when you two gang up on me. Co, stop winding me up and look in the mirror." Harry was pleased that they were talking like old times.
"All I see," said Draco shaking his head ruefully, "is you and me in a rather posh toilet. So what? I'm too hot to dump? Is that the point of making me look in a mirror?"
"No. Do you know what I see?"
Sneering Draco drawled, "Do tell."
"I see a scared foolish boy and a very strong man."
"I'm not scared!" Draco replied angrily.
"Yes, you are. But I wasn't talking about you. My life has been built off of other people's expectations. I've done exactly what was expected of me. I've never thought for myself. I just did as my parents and Dumbledore wanted barely asking any questions. And no one questioned my motives because they all decided they were noble while really I had none. I've been too cowardly to ever really think about any of it. But you, you fought with me, questioned me, and hated me more than anyone ever has. You forced me to think, and feel, and give a damn. My whole life has been controlled by other people and then you made me realize that I had options. I can’t live my life for them and you made me want to do what I had always seen as being an obligation. You've gone against everything you were taught and you are so brave. You stood up to everyone who questioned you right from your father, to McGonagall, to Fudge. So strong. Someday… someday I hope I have children who are half as amazing as you. What you lack in kindness, thoughtfulness, and tact you make up for with your scary intelligence, caustic wit, and ability to cling to freewill." He shrugged as if to say, "so that's that". His breath was ragged and he felt ill at having admitted so much to Draco. But the boy had seemed genuinely desperate and Harry had felt the strange urge to assure him. Leaning against the sink he tried to compose himself. He had just supplied his lover with months worth of ammo to belittle him with. Shock washed over Harry as his lover took him into his arms. "I'm so sorry," he said as he buried his head in the blond's neck.
"For what?" asked Draco gently as he stroked his boy's hair. "Sorry for what?"
"For making it all so complicated. This is meant to just be fun right? I fucked it up."
"No, Har, you're fine. I get it. Thank you for explaining it." Draco studied his lover's posture for a moment before saying, "I wasn't brave or clever. I'm an idiot."
"No," Harry said trying to comfort the man as he sounded so sad. Harry wasn't sure what was going through the other boy's mind but he wanted to fix it. He pulled away and said, "No."
"Yes," Draco argued testily. "I'm a fool. I didn't think you really loved me. I thought you just loved being in love. I'm sorry, I should have trusted you." He ran his tongue over the back of his front teeth thinking for a moment, "I love you." The only sound was Harry's harsh breathing. Draco swallowed hard before continuing, "I didn't think you really cared for me. I am a cunt. No one really gives a fuck about me... unless I'm in a coma. Even when you said you loved me I didn't believe it because... well, why would you? I've never felt this before and I didn't want to. I'm supposed to be in control of my life. I've always controlled everything and I was slipping. I couldn't tell you because then you'd hold all the Chocolate Frog Cards. I am a coward." Harry opened his mouth to argue but Draco hushed him tiredly, "Say that you can forgive me and come to bed."
The skin under Harry's fingers was cold. Too stunned to react to Draco's admission he said, "Maybe you should be in the infirmary. You're so cold."
"No," Draco moaned as if pained by the idea, "Don't leave me alone. You can keep me warm."
"I'll stay with you down there. I'll even share your bed, screw Madame Pomfrey's sensibilities. Please let her check you out?"
Harry sounded worried but Draco ignored the request, "Bring me to bed, Har. It's just the potion's aftermath. There's nothing she can do; I have to ride it out." Harry seemed to calm down at his lover's words so Draco spoke softly when he asked, "Make love to me? It'll keep me warm," he justified.
"What?" Harry was still too dazed to have fully taken in everything. "You're sick, Co, you don't want to supplicate yourself to me. Trust me, you'll regret this in the morning." His tone was resigned and Draco wanted to stab his own eye out with his wand for making the mage feel like that.
Draco tipped his lover's chin up and kissed him softly. All he could think was, I'm almost eighteen and this is my first real kiss. Breaking away he said, "Not supplication just love. I always wanted this; I was just too much of a coward to ask. Couldn't let you in... literally," he laughed dryly.
Not amused Harry sounded completely fogged over as he said, "You kissed me... You don't like kissing. You don't kiss me. It's intimate and unhygienic."
Without pause Draco reclaimed Harry's mouth. He licked the dark boy's lower lip in a plea for admission. Startled Harry jumped a little before tentatively parting his lips. The dark boy laughed into Draco's mouth in slight hysterics but the sound was quickly swallowed. Harry was warm to the touch and, without opening his eyes, Draco knew the mage was blushing. Their tongues fought for dominance and the battle was as violent and tenacious as their verbal spars. Pulling at Harry's robes Draco tried to get a purchase on his lover's hips so that he could pull Harry up to his height. Shaking fingers managed to lift him a few inches, forcing Harry to stand on tiptoe. He grabbed Draco's shoulder in an attempt to keep his balance. He lost the fight with gravity as he fell against the blond, their lips parted to steal gasps of air. A hiss escaped from Harry as he felt a hardness under Draco's robes rub against his stomach.
"And you said you didn't like snogging," laughed Harry breathlessly.
"It's not that," panted Draco, "i's the honesty. Feels so good to not be lying." He let go of his death hold on Harry's hips and allowed him to stand normally. Leaning down slowly, he kissed Harry with near painful tenderness. A silent pledge of love, acceptance, and protection was offered and accepted there in the Head Boy's toilet.
As if only just noticing their surroundings Harry said firmly, "It's no good. Invalids should be in bed." He waited for Draco to frown before adding, "With their extremely randy lovers."
"No!" cried the mirror, "It's just getting good."
"If you’re lucky we'll fuck in the shower tomorrow," Draco said with a grin as he pulled Harry out of the smallest room by his collar. Discarding clothes as they went, the pair failed to make it to bed. Half way across the distance Draco dropped to his knees to nuzzle his lover's stomach.
Standing half naked Harry laughed, "What are you doing?"
"Worshipping," whispered Draco as he stroked the puncture wound on Harry's left hip. He lavished attention on the scar. Before he hadn't understood Harry's fascination with the scar on his body that mirrored the one he was currently licking. Now he got it. The mark stood as proof that they could have destroyed one another as easily as save each other. Harry stood over him whole, proud, strong, and his.
Attacking the boy's trousers and pants, Draco had him naked in moments. He smiled up at Harry and winked as he swallowed him whole. The mage's eyes slammed shut and Draco smirked which was difficult with a full mouth. Deep throating, Draco reflected, was a lot like riding a broom. If you were talented you could go without practice for months and still be damn good when it came time to climb back on... so to speak. As he swallowed again Harry's eyes opened and met his gaze. Draco never broke eye contact as he pulled back slowly to pull in a breath through his nose, all the while licking the underside of his lover's dick. It was with deliberately painful slowness that he swallowed the boy again.
Harry looked as though he might cry and Draco knew he wouldn't last much longer. He took pity on the boy he was torturing. It had been an age since they'd really been together and he couldn't expect to draw it out for hours. Reaching up, he took Harry's hands in his own and squeezed lightly relaying comfort and permission. The gentleness and affection of the action was Harry's undoing. There was no sound save for a panted, "Co," and Harry felt his knees give out. Draco released his hands and grabbed Harry's hips before he could fall. Their eyes remained locked as Draco swallowed Harry's spend. He was humming happily as he licked Harry clean. As he lapped away the last traces of Harry's taste he could already feel his lover hardening under his tongue's ministrations. Thank god for the quick recuperation time of teenage boys.
Harry was panting for breath as he ran his fingers through Draco's damp curls. The boy always looked so young when perspiration caused his hair to curl. Still watching Draco's eyes, Harry slid his hands down his lover's face to cup his cheeks. "Thank you," he whispered as he regained the use of his legs and straightened up.
As Draco released him the blond stood up slowly. Smiling as Harry continued to stroke his face he said, "I love you." He dropped his head to the mage's shoulder and rubbed his forehead against solid muscle as he caught his breath.
"Really?" asked Harry as though it was the first time he'd heard the words. The tone was surprised, wary, and tentatively happy.
"So much so it hurts." Draco lifted his head to look at Harry, "I always have." They started to move towards beds at a slow pace. Draco was walking backwards as he didn't want to look away from his boy's happy face. Harry blushed slightly at the intense attention; he was totally stunned and pleased by the revelation. Draco suppressed the guilt he felt for having made the amazing man doubt himself and kissed the dark boy's nose. He assumed that his lover wouldn't appreciate a come flavoured snog and was shocked when Harry attacked his mouth. Indeed, Harry explored his mouth as though he was on an expedition to seek his own flavour. He seemed to be searching for proof that he had marked Draco. As that thought occurred to him Draco pulled away to speak, "I belong to you. I'm yours. I've never been with anyone else. Never wanted to be with anyone else. I'll never be with anyone else," he promised. "And for some reason," he laughed dryly, "it doesn't scare me the way it should." He smiled as he watched Harry bite his lip. "Don't cry; this is happy."
"He's a mental!" called the mirror happily.
"I'll shut the door!" Draco threatened in an equally jubilant voice while Harry just laughed. The backs of his knees hit the frame of the un-scorched bed. Draco fell back and pulled Harry with him. He made a huffing noise as Harry was lying on top of him. "Oomph, Potter, you need to get back on a broom: you're getting fat," he said it in a gasping voice as if he was being squished by his lover's weight. But as he ran his fingers over his lover's concave stomach he said softly, "Har, you're so thin."
"So are you," said Harry defensively.
"I was in a coma."
"Try eating while your lover's in a coma." There was an accusation in the voice as though Harry thought Draco was judging him and so was trying to preemptively attack the boy.
"Don't cry," Draco said shaking his head. The mirror said nothing. It wasn't because it was afraid of the door being shut. It just knew when to hold its metaphysical tongue. "You're beautiful. And now I get to fatten you up."
"Oh yeah?" Harry laughed, "You got a protein shake for me?"
"Later," Draco leered as he started exploring Harry's warm skin which was sticky not from his own sweat but from Draco's. The potion had made him so cold, so how was it that he was drenched in sweat? Harry wasn't questioning it; instead he was happily licking perspiration off of Draco's chest.
"Essence of Co," he murmured as he closed his eyes savoring the taste.
"Perv."
"Why are you sill wearing pants?"
Glancing down Draco said, "A better question," he purposefully quoted his lover's earlier words, "is why am I wearing these pants?"
As he pulled off the tighty-whities Harry shrugged, "I kind of think they're hot."
"Well you're a perv." Draco flinched as the boy swatted his stomach.
Everything about their movements was slow and gentle. After months apart Draco would have expected their coupling to be urgent and violent. He had always thought that, if he got up the courage to tell Harry the truth, neither of them would be able to sit for days. But this was so much better. Each languid touch and kiss was soft and almost shy. Each muscle he stroked on Harry's back felt new and better. For the first time it all felt real.
Harry started sliding down his body but Draco moaned as if he was in pain, "What?" Asked the boy, stunned by the sound.
"Miss your mouth," Draco whinged.
"Don't worry. You'll get it back in a second." Comprehension eluded Draco until Harry lowered his tongue to Draco's erection, "See?" he smirked, "You didn't lose it."
With mounting horror Draco realized that he was already very close. "Har," he said urgently. Green eyes flickered up to his face in acknowledgement of the name. "You've barely touched me but-" he choked on his words as Harry's tongue did something very clever.
Breaking away Harry drew breath before saying, "We have all night, Co." He smiled warmly and looked away, focusing again on his activity. Misunderstanding the comment Draco gasped. Was Harry going to keep him on edge all night? He nearly cried as a newspaper headline popped into his head, "Draco: in Good Health But at the Price of his Bollocks." The tagline would read: "Insiders say that the build up of spunk and magic caused the pair to fall off. Albus Dumbledore speaks for us all in saying, 'It's a tragedy'." Starting to slip into bleak thoughts of never producing an heir, he was startled by the sound of his lover's voice when Harry said, "All night. Come as many times as you like. Just don't fall asleep on me."
He caressed Draco's thigh as his lips slipped down again. He carefully ran his teeth over the flesh. Draco exploded and his vision went black as he had a flash of hypoglycemia. Sugar couldn't reach his brain as all of his blood had surged downwards. A voice in his head (sounding suspiciously like Miss Granger's) said, "You got off on a bite? You think it's hard having progeny without testicles? Try doing it without a dick." She didn't understand. Always before he had kept a stranglehold of control on their relationship. He had never allowed anything to happen without his say so. Fear had motivated his planning and he had spent all his time safeguarding himself against letting Harry hurt him.
Now he had given total reign over to his lover and it felt amazing. He trusted Harry completely. And the bite, a reminder of danger, was a turn on because he knew that Harry wouldn't do anything he wouldn't enjoy. He felt more empowered than ever before. They were on a level Quidditch field and, if he wanted to regain control, Harry would instantly allow it. Yes, Draco had the power to control the man who was controlling him. "You wouldn't get it," he scorned Hermione silently. She laughed smugly and said, "Sure I do. It's called S&M." He turned his mind off completely and refocused on Harry.
The mage was smiling knowingly at him, "Back with me?" his voice was muffled and his cheeks were puffed as if-
"Why didn't you swallow?" he asked not understanding his lover at all in that moment.
"Iva plan," said Harry thickly.
"Why don't you spit it out?"
"Ith far too good fer tha'," he started to lick at Draco's hip while still holding the come in his mouth. Gently stroking his half hard lover he said, "Don' freak ow a' this. Jus' enjoy it." Harry pushed the blond's legs apart and caused them to bend at the knee while the soles remained flat on the mattress. Reaching for a pillow he tapped Draco's hips commandingly, "Lif' up fer me." He slid the pillow under the small of Draco's back, "Comp-fy?" The blond nodded but tensed as he realized his lover's intentions. Actually feeling his temperature rise he wasn't shocked when Harry told him, "Yer bottom's blu-thing. Youva talented bottom."
"Har, you don't have t-"
"You've done it t' me a thou-dand timeths. Relackth."
"Relax," he nearly shouted as panic filled him.
"You'll like it. Promith." Harry caressed his thighs as he tentatively licked the blond's tiny entrance.
Draco felt like squirming in his embarrassment. But hadn't he just been thinking that he'd given total control over to Harry? He didn't want to take it back so quickly. It felt oddly comforting and warm as Harry lapped at his skin. Trying to calm down his anxiety he thought to watch Harry from an analytical vantage. He could watch it subjectively as the rimmee instead of rimmer. As he looked down his body, he saw the tip of his boy's tongue disappear as it dipped inside of him. All thought of logical study died as he felt Harry inside of him. His lover was gently opening him up and Draco couldn't breathe. The green eyed boy looked at him, cocking an eyebrow as Draco moaned again. The tongue fucked its way deeper inside of him and the rasp of taste buds on his inner walls made him reach for Harry's dark hair. Scared, he feared he was going to die from his lack of air but the feel of unruly hair grounded him.
Closing his eyes, Harry felt totally blissed out. He could barely breathe and he didn't care. All he could taste, feel, smell, and hear was his Co. This was heaven. His lover was acting wanton. Draco had lost his inner battle and had never looked hotter to Harry. The boy was always so desperate to be calm and cool and now he was whimpering as he curled his fingers into Harry's disheveled mop. The mage had done this to him and Harry was proud of himself. He'd never done this before and he was relishing every second as he slid his tongue in and out of his lover's body slowly. Draco wasn't tense anymore and Harry decided it was time to move on to phase two. He was going to do something that Draco had never done to him; something he'd been obsessing over. Glancing up he made sure that Draco was watching. As he pulled himself out of Draco completely the boy whimpered again and Harry wanted to kiss him, but there were more pressing matters at hand. Licking the inside of his cheek he gathered up some of the precious liquid he'd been storing there. He cupped his tongue so that the fluid escape as he slowly re-entered Draco's body.
It was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. Harry repeatedly lapped the come out of his mouth and deposited it inside of him. It was like watching someone eat a cream egg backwards. And he could tell Harry was enjoying it more than if he was a chocolate custard filled egg. The boy would linger inside of him, slowly manipulating the spunk inside of Draco. His tongue was dancing with the spend, playing, tickling him. As the last of the liquid was placed lovingly inside of him Harry seemed to be kissing his bum. It was tender, and sexy, and no where near as disgusting as Draco would have expected. He couldn't let himself come again: he wouldn't be able to get hard again. A hiss escaped from him as Harry dragged himself up his body. The friction was torture When the boy was finally laying with him, Draco kissed him harshly, "I don't think I'm going to be able to let you bottom ever again."
"Good?" asked Harry shyly which was ridiculous under the circumstances.
"Amazing."
"I had a good teacher," Harry was shaking a little and Draco was pleased to see that the boy was finally sweating so that Draco wasn't alone as he dripped. Harry looked at him from under his eyelashes and he sounded apologetic for broaching the subject when he asked, "But... you didn't come? It just wasn't your thing?"
"No I want it to last." Draco laughed ruefully, "I don't think -well with the coma and all-"
"I promise I'll get you standing to attention again."
"Har, honestly-"
"I promise," he stressed the word with such conviction that Draco was beguiled into nodding. Harry slowly rubbed their hips together in small circles. The heat and pressure was delicious as they moved against each other. They were drenched in each other's sweat while their breaths were short. Draco shut his eyes as his orgasm hit him moments before Harry's. The dark haired boy reached between them. With one upward tug he had his lover hard again. When he saw the astonishment on Draco visage he laughed, "I'm a mage." He said it like it was new news.
"Bottle it and sell it. Better than any potion."
"Can't bottle it and wouldn't want to. It's my magic in the raw. It's akin to prostitution. The only one who benefits from my talents is my Co." He nuzzled affectionately against his boyfriend and patted his head gently, "Only you."
The words hit him like a physical thing and he had to catch his breath, "I need you."
"You have me," Harry assured him.
"No. I mean, make love to me?" It was meant as a command but came out as a weak question.
"You're sure about this?"
"As sure as Dumbledore has screwed Flitwich."
Harry's eyes widened, "That's pretty sure." He snapped his fingers and caught the vial of conjured oil as it fell out of the air, "Aren't you lucky to date a mage?"
Shaking his head Draco said, "No forget the slick. Just you and me." He didn't want anything artificial on him. He gestured at their stomachs, "We're covered in spunk and I'm filled with it already. Nothing else is needed."
"Co, even in the admittedly abundant amounts we have, jizz isn't a lubricant for the first time. It's not enough and I don't want to hurt you. First times need to be perfect. Yours will be, promise. Mine was." He uncorked the bottle and sniffed it with a sigh. His eyes shut heavily as he pushed the bottle under Draco's nose. It smelled of Harry and the scent made Draco gasp. Shrugging Harry said, "Need to mark you. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, my first time." He slicked his hands in the oil and started massaging Draco's abdomen. He started to relate the story as though he was telling it to a friend in a pub, "I was with this blond who I'd been lusting over forever. But I was scared shitless too, right? And he kept reassuring me and saying he'd take good care of me. And, honestly, I've never felt so safe and happy in my whole life. It was probably the most intense night of my life... right up 'til this one." He laughed happily as he soothingly kneaded Draco's hips. "Recently I learned that he had no idea what he was doing. But it was amazing so he was either very intuitive or he'd done research."
Laughing Draco looked down as he said softly, "There's a store in Diagon Ally devoted to the subject."
Harry touched Draco's chin to turn his face back, "Don't look away. And keep your eyes open." Draco always shut his eyes when things got too strong. He'd been afraid that Harry would be able to read him if they'd remained open. Now he nodded. Leaning down to kiss him, Harry slid one slippery digit into the boy. Again Draco twined his fingers into dark hair.
It felt strange to kiss with his eyes open. It broke etiquette. But Harry looked like he might devour him and Draco liked seeing that look. The digit passed over a place inside of him that made him bite down on the thing he'd been nibbling on: Harry's lower lip. "I am so sorry," he said as blood started trickling down the mage's chin. Feeling horribly embarrassed he finally allowed his eyes to fall shut.
"Don't look away," said a firm voice. Upon opening his eyes again Draco was greeted with his lover's wide grin, "I kind of think it's hot," Harry repeated his earlier words as he ran his finger over the external wound. It healed instantly but Harry's teeth were stained pink and his inner lip was still bleeding.
"Perv."
"So you keep saying," said Harry dismissively as he decided the conversation was over and breached Draco's body with a second digit. When he kissed Draco the blond moaned. Draco sucked on his tongue like a lollypop. A blood, come, and sweat flavoured lollypop. But Harry understood the motivation, his blood tasted of magic: strong, and heady, and sharp. "I'm the perv?" Pulling his fingers out he rested himself against Draco's opening and spoke seriously and quietly as he said, "If anything feels funny, or hurts, or you just don't like it tell me, okay?"
With a sarcastic laugh Draco spoke in a jaded, mordant tone, "And you'll stop."
"Of course," he saw the boy was taken aback and added, "You'd do the same for me." He slowly pushed inside his lover.
Allowing one of his hands to slip from Harry's hair Draco reached to hold the man's shoulder, "I know. It's just... no, it's nothing."
Not ceasing in his slow movement Harry touched Draco's face with the hand that wasn't supporting his weight, "It's not nothing."
Shrugging Draco replied, "After? We'll talk after. Let's not ruin this." Harry looked concerned but nodded in acquiescence. As the head finally slipped fully inside of him he took in a short, surprised breath of air. He threw back his head slightly trying to keep eye contact with Harry and get some more oxygen into his lungs.
"Alright?" asked Harry worriedly.
Draco wiggled his bum on the pillow as he tried to pull Harry in quickly. Harry was smirking at him which wasn't fair as it was a Malfoy smirk. There was too much space between their bodies and it was driving him mad. Glancing over he saw that Harry was supporting himself with one hand as the other was still holding his face. With a smirk of his own he moved his arm to hit Harry's wrist with enough force to knock it out from under the mage. "Much better," said Draco as he wrapped his leg's around his lover's waist.
"Oomph," the breath was pushed out of Harry's chest upon impact, "I'll squish you," he complained.
"No, you really won't," Draco reassured his slight lover. Pushing his hips down he impaled himself with a hiss.
"Should have gone slower," Harry's voice held a silent "told you so" in it. When Draco tried to move, Harry's hands, now free, came to rest on his thighs, "Give it a minute. Good things come to those who wait."
"Yes, but the meek won't inherit the earth!" Draco's eyes were wide. Harry was making him feel so warm and full that he felt he had to either move or drop down dead.
"No," Harry sounded confused, "they will inherit the earth." Smiling widely he leaned in to kiss his boy.
The kiss made everything better. Time stopped as Harry seemed to pet every nerve ending and make things less painful. "He's right there with you," said the voice sounding like Granger's. He smiled into the kiss as he thought, yes, and he always will be. Pulling back he said breathlessly, "I wish I told you how I felt two years ago." He dove back into Harry.
But the boy pulled away to correct him, "We've only been together for a year and a half."
"And I should have told you two years ago."
Green eyes dilated with lust and Harry caressed his sides saying, "You have to let me up a little, Co."
"Why? I like you being so close." Maybe he'd been wrong to admit to the longevity of his feelings. Maybe he'd scared Harry.
"Because at this angle I don't have the leverage to fuck you into the mattress." At the explanation Draco instantly relaxed his legs a bit. "Good boy, Co. Now keep your eyes open."
"Pushy, pushy. Granger's right: you're a dom." He smiled as he responded to his lover's slow, small thrusts.
"When did she say that?" asked Harry as he kissed a path along Draco's clavicle.
"She's been in my head."
"You heard her? You believe me: that I hear her too?
Harry looked so pleased but Draco rolled his eyes, "No. I'm just going as crazy as you."
"Har's a nutcase!" called the mirror cheerfully causing Draco to laugh.
"I'm so glad you bought that. He's highly entertaining."
"Quiet."
"Says the dom." Draco smirked but did as he was told when Harry rubbed over that spot inside that left him panting for air.
Falling into stride the mage quickened his pace slightly and was pleased as Draco reacted and met him thrust for thrust. He kissed Draco's forehead and said, "This okay?"
"I'm not allowed to talk," Draco tried to smile smugly but couldn't quite do that and breathe so he aborted the usual victorious arrogance.
"It's okay, you can."
"No, I really can't," Draco bit out between gritted teeth. His immaculate nails bit into Harry's back and shoulder and were sullied with blood.
Against his boy's lips Harry whispered, "You're so fucking tight."
The words were amazingly dirty when they came from the sinfully innocent mouth of the boy that lived. Draco was snogging his lover before he could even consider the course of action. After an age of avoiding the act he was now drowning in it. It was… fun, and hot, and alive. They spent so much time discussing death and war and this was as good as shouting "Fuck it". It spat in the face of everything: Voldemort, The Order, Death himself.
Wiping at the blond's face Harry said, "I thought we said no tears?"
He hadn't even realized he was crying. Embarrassed Draco said by way of an explanation, "I love kissing you." His breath was hard and labored. He laughed at the sheer ludicrousness of the scene, "We're both such poofs."
"That's not a bad thing," Harry kissed him lightly, "I like being a hopeless romantic."
Snorting Draco said, "You would."
As he reached between them to stroke Draco's erection the mage said, "I like being painfully in love with you. If that makes me lame and massively gay, oh well."
He chuckled tiredly. Even as their bodies slammed together a feeling of deep calm and relaxation slid over him. The truth had been aired and Harry still loved him. He thought of the many promises Harry had made in the course of the night. He'd followed through on all of them. Maybe god and the powers were on their side at the moment. "Har?"
"Uhm?"
"Promise me something."
"Anything."
"That were together to the end."
"'Til the last fucking minute," Harry kissed him hard and again Draco's vision went patchy but he kept his eyes open. "I promise." Their movements were growing erratic as they got closer. Breaths were becoming even shorter and more desperate and Harry nearly choked saying, "Love you forever."
With a last gasp Draco came. He fought to keep his eyes open: to watch Harry. The blond's inner walls spasmed and convulsed around the mage and he lost control. Their spend mixed inside of Draco as they laid together for a few silent moments. Irreverently breaking the peace Draco said, "Top ten ever."
Laughing at the fact that his lover was already rating their sex, Harry said, "Y'know something?"
"What?"
"We are friends. And we have been for a long time."
"But I'm Draco Malfoy, the Malfoy heir: I'm supposed to have cool friends." He laughed as Harry smacked his hip. He saw Harry drifting off but they still had a lot to talk about so he made a move to piss off his lover, "That was an amazing fuck."
Eyes flying open Harry said, "That wasn't a fuck."
"No," Draco smirked, "For one thing we never stopped chatting."
Defensively Harry said, "We had a lot to discuss."
"And we still do," Draco spoke in a placating tone.
"Okay," the mage still sounded put out, "for starters, why were you shocked when I said I would stop if you asked?"
He flinched; he had been hoping his lover had forgotten that, "I just-"
Interrupting angrily the dark boy spat out, "You don't think I'm considerate enough?"
"No," that had never even occurred to him.
"Then what?" The dejected and bitter tone of the question made the blond flinch again.
Draco paused. He really didn't want to answer, "I just never expected that sort of consideration from… anyone."
Clearly it was a reply Harry hadn't been prepared for. Thrown off kilter the boy asked, "Why not?"
Swallowing convulsively Draco considered his reply. The truth wasn't going to please the mage but he was trying to be honest. And so, throwing caution and sense to the wind he said, "Because I don't deserve it and I'm not really worth it." He saw the horror on Harry's face and he shut his eyes, "respect is something you work for and I've never put in the effort, not for that sort of respect anyway." He shrugged, still not opening eyes, "Pretty pathetic, huh? I don't even respect me. I know you love me so, even if you hurt me, it wouldn't be malicious. I don't know what I expected, Har, you just caught me off guard when you said it."
"But," the mage's voice was gentle now, "care like that should be taken for granted. No one is allowed to hurt you; anyone should stop if you say stop. Otherwise it's just-"
He didn't want to hear the word out of his lover's mouth so he started to argue before Harry even started, "I've taken nothing about you for granted because I was sure this would end poorly and sooner rather than later so I just appreciated everything, not outwardly though obviously. And it wouldn't be rape never -no matter how badly it hurt- not with you."
Harry was shaking against his as he asked, "Why?"
"You love me. There are no circumstances under which it would be anything but making love."
"You're saying you'd enjoy my raping you?" the question sounded shaky and frightened.
"No. I'm saying that if it was motivated by love I'd enjoy it." Opening his eyes he glared at Harry. The gray glinted dangerously in the dim light, "You could break my body and just so long as you adored me I would consider my gift to you gladly given. I guess I am the perv because you could make me bleed to death and if you held me as I drained and told me that you loved me and that I was pretty, I would still get off on it." Shaking his head tiredly he said, "Are we done debasing me? We have other topics."
Harry was scared. He'd never realized how much pull he had over the boy. The responsibility of protecting Draco finally hit home. Maybe that was why Dumbledore had made him Head Boy and given him a private room. He wasn't meant to fix Draco but to protect him once he was fixed. He almost felt grateful to the man… almost. "Of course. I'm sorry. I love you. I would never abuse your affections like that, promise."
Uncomfortable with the apology Draco announced, "I spoke to Severus after I saw Blaise, just before I came back here. He's going with me to see my father tomorrow. I'm going to beg him to let me back in to the family. Once he lets his guard down I plan on killing him. It's not vengeance, really, I'm just taking care of the threat." His lover tried to pull away but stopped when he felt Draco's hands caressing his skin, "Stay with me a little longer? You feel amazing inside of me, like I have the all power of a mage."
"Don't kill him," Harry knew that Draco was deeply torn over his father and worried that murdering the man would upset the blond in ways Draco couldn't anticipate. "Let Snape do it: he'll enjoy it."
Pulling back slightly Draco asked, "Do you think I can't do it? You've seen me kill in the past."
"I know you can. I just don't think you should have to deal with the guilt you will feel. Snape won't feel that. He's hated the man for years. He only hasn't killed him yet because of you and because he'd no longer be able to spy. If he uses your wand the Ministry will think you did it. They won't punish you. You're the nation's sweetheart. And they know I'm on your side and no one wants to upset the boy who lived." He sounded bitter at the title and it reminded Draco of one other promise.
All of Harry's ideas sounded so logical and Draco nodded, "Another promise?"
"Why all the promises?" asked Harry softly.
"Because everything you've said tonight came true. If the powers are rooting for us right now I want to exploit it."
"When I found out about your memories I told the powers they could fix you or fuck themselves. Maybe this is our night of grace. . . before they expect us to do their bidding again."
"Maybe," Draco agreed cupping Harry's face in his hands, "and this is about that in a way. If you die, before me, promise me you'll pass-over and not linger here as a ghost just to keep me company. I'll fend for myself until I can be with you again. Okay?" The whole thing scared him badly. In the weeks before his father had broken out of jail it was all he had thought about.
"Where is this coming from?" Harry hoped he could assuage his lover's obvious worry without committing himself to the strange pact.
"When you speak about the government, or the powers and god, or the war you sound so tired and resigned. You wrote a will. You even got it witnessed. You think you'll kill each other: that you won't make it through the ‘last stand’. And if you're already accepting it, you won't make it. That's okay, if that's the way you have to think to get through it. But once it does happen move on. I can see you trying to stay to protect me. Don't. Go up there and I'll find you later."
Again Harry was struck by the power he had to affect Draco. That his morbid fascination with his imminent death had caused Draco to think things out so thoroughly. "I won't die. That's my promise. I'm gonna win outright."
"Excuse me?" asked the blond thinking he'd misheard.
"You're right, I've taken this laying down. He has some stupid cause to live for but I've got you and a future. So I'll win. I have no choice, it's already decided. It seems so obvious now." The blond was struck dumb as Harry kissed his nose in closing. "I think we should go to sleep now. Big day tomorrow." Draco just nodded still unable to find his tongue. With slow grace Harry pulled out of him and moved off of the taller boy. Turning on his side the mage pulled his lover back against him saying, "Night, Co, sleep well."
Draco turned over and said, "Are you still having conversations with my evil clone when you sleep?" he saw Harry's shock, the boy had been trying to keep the dreams a secret from him. "I didn't realize until I got my memories. You did a good job of covering up but I know you and I know the way you look the morning after a nightmare."
"I'm still having them," Harry said in an uneasy tone.
"We can't have him finding out about this turn. I don't know if you've realized this but that's not a dream, it's Voldemort. Now that I am whole again I know his signature. That thing in your head isn't of your making."
"I figured that out the second night."
"Okay, this will be horrible, but I'm going to be a Pensieve for you. But I'm going to take them completely. It's the only way, you're useless at Occlumency." Harry nodded and Draco said, "I swear you'll get your memories back in ten minutes. He usually visits the instant people fall asleep and only stays a few minutes for fear of being caught out. Are you okay with this?"
"What memories are you gonna take?" asked Harry.
"Everything from tonight. But in under a half hour you'll have them back. I'm sorry."
"It's the only way. I understand." He kissed Draco.
"Okay," Draco breathed in deeply. He touched the boy's temples and said, "Don't look away from my eyes." He pulled the last ten hours out of Harry's mind and hated himself for doing so.
"Co?" asked Harry softly, "did you get your memories?"
"Yeah, you bastard. You made me go into a coma." Draco climbed out of bed and said, "I'm going back to my father in the morning. Maybe it's not too late to get the mark." He climbed out of the bed and stomped over to the other one.
He listened to Harry who was trying to cry silently. He curled up and held his knees as he listened to the boy fall asleep. Harry made whimpering noises and then said in his sleep, "This is your fault: you took him from me! And now he's going back to your lapdog!" He listened to Harry moaning softly as if pained. Finally after a few minutes his breathing became even and Draco knew the dream was done. He practically ran to the bed.
"Wake up," he climbed under the covers.
"You're not gone?" Harry said bitterly.
"Look into my eyes for a moment?" Draco touched the boy's forehead and let all the memories flow back. "Okay?" Harry nodded silently and Draco said, "I'm sorry. I know it's a total violation."
"No, it made sense. It's okay."
"Are *you* okay?" Draco asked, staring into his lover's eyes. It was a rather complicated piece of magic to cast not once but twice in a half hour. He grabbed his wand from the bedside and said, "Lumos." He shined it in Harry's eyes and saw that his pupils reacted. Snape had taught him the skill years before but he had never had an occasion to use it on such an immense scale before. "I love you."
"Say it again," Harry demanded shakily.
"I love you." He kissed Harry slowly, putting everything he had left into it. "Come to bed now, you must be exhausted." Draco wrapped himself around the mage and Harry relaxed and held him close. "I love you," Draco said again and Harry smiled brightly.
"This has been a very long day," Harry said softly and he kissed Draco again, lightly, affectionately before he shut his eyes and slipped into a dreamless sleep.
Draco stayed awake for an age.
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