Rocketeer.
Click to view“We’ll go there. Someday. You and I.”
You’d get that wistful look and close your eyes, and I’d feel like you’d suddenly been transported to a different world, one full of color while mine was black and white. And then your eyes would open slowly, long lashes fluttering and a smile would slowly spread on your lips before you’d nod with decisiveness.
How did you do it, how did you escape this hell, these metal bars and hard dirt floors, the mundane drudgery of every day, still hold onto that bright hope in this impenetrable darkness?
“You can’t deal with realities here, Changmin. You’ll go crazy if you do,” you’d say, fingers instinctively picking at your lips with the lack of smokes and needing something to do. “Take my hand. Close your eyes and…” And you’d paint your world, as best as you could. Azure skies, long green grass rustling, white dandelion seeds scattering to the wind.
But you’re a dreamer. With that bit of imagination and insight and those neural signals that have long been dead in mind and replaced with alloys and man-made polymers. Functionality might still be there but capturing that inventiveness? Is far beyond the reach of man’s knowledge at this point.
Yet I feel an odd sort of sadness. At least, that’s what I think it is. I’m forgetting my emotions the longer I stay, the more they try and change my insides for “repair.”
The time flows without any breaks and we ride it, make our own continuum with its own forces and gravity. We make the seconds, minutes, hours yield and bend like light. For in that one moment we're gods. Fearless, relentless, and utterly true to each other.
You'd always talk about free falling, flying in dreams, running towards the edge and then letting go, only to coast on the wind, hair whipping and rippling, feeling utterly weightless. I'd envy that look you'd get, immersed completely in that sensation.
And here I am, my hand in yours, up up here we go until I'm laughing, crying, the smile breaking my face into an almost painful wideness. The rules I made for myself, the foundations of all my beliefs are tumbling, the walls are crumbling in the sight of your honest force of love.
Where we stop nobody knows.