191 bottle caps, christmas hats
It's only been two years and I feel so out of touch from them. I don't feel like meeting them, I don't feel like calling anyone, I don't even know where their blogs are, anything. We don't talk on Facebook, MSN, none of that. Gradually, sixone's just crumbling.
Primary school was pretty much cake, I don't know why. I think it was the exposure, which got me through pretty much everything. My first blunder in P4 with a Band 2 in Math really hit me hard and a heck care attitude started from there, though it's slowly disappearing, I think. Somehow I still got into a good class and everything, for the first time ever my English grades were suffering and I felt so upset since I was actually strong in it. I still remember things like how I froze up during oral examinations but aced my prelims and PSLE ones, how I managed to shut the class up in P2 only to get scolded by the teacher for shouting, how I tried to call for someone, talked a tad louder and get scolded for screaming (bullshit I say I was like, whispering or something), how stupid rumours went around the school and we'd deny it.
The most influential thing in primary school was really, my inner debate between going to Nanyang and Dunman. At least half my class of forty went to Dunman. It's not surprising, considering how close it is and several other factors. No one went Raffles Girls, the really smart guys went to RI, some to Hwa Chong though it wasn't favoured, and then the small minority of us to Nanyang. I was actually pretty intent to go Dunman, until I realised that I truly needed a fresh start. And after that it pretty much snowballed into almost complete separation from them.
I've said of this incident one too many times, but there was once when Jiayi told me over a friendly conversation on MSN that she still wondered why I chose Nanyang over Dunman. Needless to say I got pretty mad if you think about it and just stopped the conversation right there. I'm still a bit peeved over that one trivial matter, but I mean, it's been a good year. We'll still be friends, you don't have to cling that hard.
There's a gathering tomorrow and I'm all meh about going. It's nice to meet a couple of people, but yet I feel so uninformed and so unprepared to go "Hey guys it's been a while how are you to them. I'll feel out of the circle. I'm slowly letting go of sixone. It doesn't matter how many tears I shed that day when we parted and went our different ways, it doesn't matter how many gatherings we'll have. At the end of the day... we're just not together.
Perhaps I'll just keep it as a simple go back on teacher's day reunion thing. Sixone might not mean anything to me now, but primary school does.
It was clinging on my mind for a bit. So this is going public, I don't know whether sixoners not from Nanyang will ever read this, it's just... That feeling of being together. It sort of faded away, hasn't it? I'm moving on, but I don't know about everyone else. I'll hold them dear, but I'm letting go at the same time. Weird, but I should have done it a long time ago.
Primary school was pretty much cake, I don't know why. I think it was the exposure, which got me through pretty much everything. My first blunder in P4 with a Band 2 in Math really hit me hard and a heck care attitude started from there, though it's slowly disappearing, I think. Somehow I still got into a good class and everything, for the first time ever my English grades were suffering and I felt so upset since I was actually strong in it. I still remember things like how I froze up during oral examinations but aced my prelims and PSLE ones, how I managed to shut the class up in P2 only to get scolded by the teacher for shouting, how I tried to call for someone, talked a tad louder and get scolded for screaming (bullshit I say I was like, whispering or something), how stupid rumours went around the school and we'd deny it.
The most influential thing in primary school was really, my inner debate between going to Nanyang and Dunman. At least half my class of forty went to Dunman. It's not surprising, considering how close it is and several other factors. No one went Raffles Girls, the really smart guys went to RI, some to Hwa Chong though it wasn't favoured, and then the small minority of us to Nanyang. I was actually pretty intent to go Dunman, until I realised that I truly needed a fresh start. And after that it pretty much snowballed into almost complete separation from them.
I've said of this incident one too many times, but there was once when Jiayi told me over a friendly conversation on MSN that she still wondered why I chose Nanyang over Dunman. Needless to say I got pretty mad if you think about it and just stopped the conversation right there. I'm still a bit peeved over that one trivial matter, but I mean, it's been a good year. We'll still be friends, you don't have to cling that hard.
There's a gathering tomorrow and I'm all meh about going. It's nice to meet a couple of people, but yet I feel so uninformed and so unprepared to go "Hey guys it's been a while how are you to them. I'll feel out of the circle. I'm slowly letting go of sixone. It doesn't matter how many tears I shed that day when we parted and went our different ways, it doesn't matter how many gatherings we'll have. At the end of the day... we're just not together.
Perhaps I'll just keep it as a simple go back on teacher's day reunion thing. Sixone might not mean anything to me now, but primary school does.
It was clinging on my mind for a bit. So this is going public, I don't know whether sixoners not from Nanyang will ever read this, it's just... That feeling of being together. It sort of faded away, hasn't it? I'm moving on, but I don't know about everyone else. I'll hold them dear, but I'm letting go at the same time. Weird, but I should have done it a long time ago.