Ooooold list... Censored version
Topic: 34 53 62 72 78 things Den cannot do...
at Job Corps...
Inspired by 213 Things Skippy Can't do...
The things on this list are things I have:
a)Been in trouble for doing
b)Been given props for doing
c)Been spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do
d)Randomly came up with and decided I was not allowed to do (the "Waffle!" thing.)
e)Heard someone else get told they were not allowed to do
1. Not allowed to randomly run into people.
2. If the thought of something makes me giggle uncontrollably for more than 30 seconds, I'm not allowed to do it.
3. Not allowed to randomly latch onto strangers,unless they say it's alright.
4. Not allowed to bark at people I don't know.
5. Especially outside of Job Corps.
6. Not allowed to run around yelling "Waffle!"
7. Not allowed to bite people, repeatedly.
8. Even if they deserve it.
9. Not allowed to discuss the many uses of duct tape.
10. Not even the hair removal bit.
11. Not allowed to imbibe strange substances on a bet.
12. No matter HOW much money I'm offered.
13. Not allowed to mislead any potential entrants into the Job Corps Program.
14. No matter HOW funny it is.
15. Not allowed to duct tape people to things.
16. Walls count too.
17. If I have to ask myself, "Is this even LEGAL?!", I am not allowed to do it.
18. Not allowed to do the Thriller in the middle of the cafeteria.
19. Not even if everyone pays me to.
20. Not allowed to use "42" on paperwork.
21. Unless it is a valid answer to a math problem.
22. But especially not on leadership cards.
23. And definately not as my signature on payline!
24. Not allowed to suggest to my pyro friends that they should go as Trogdor The Burninator for Halloween.
25. No matter how wickedly awesome that would be.
26. Not allowed to open my window and moon people.
27. Even if my roommate did it.
28. Not allowed to tell my instructor to go jump in front of a train just because I'm having a bad day.
29. No matter how much of a jerk she can be at times.
30. No matter how much I dislike her, I am not allowed to call the Residential Advisor a rude name.
31. Not allowed to feed the delusions of the psychotic girls we have on our dorm.
32. No matter how tempting it is, and how creative I can get.
33. I am not the queen of cheese.
34. I am not the Emperess of Pants
35. Not allowed to let the bi guy who happens to be a friend of mine offer advice when I'm upset.
36. Not allowed to offer my cat-like friend catnip.
37. Even if he asks me for it.
38. Even if I have any.
39. Which I do not.
40. The cake is always a lie, except when it's not.
41. The pie is never a bomb.
42. There is no spoon.
43. There is no Neo.
44. Not allowed to do a victory dance whenever someone I don't like gets terminated.
45. At least, not in public.
46. No bribing people with pocky unless I know I can get the pocky back to Job Corps safely.
47. Even though I think she's a stupid person, I am not allowed to "Vote the LRC off of the Island".
48. Yet.
49. Not allowed to use government resources for my own amusement.
50. that is to say, I'm not supposed to get CAUGHT.
51. Not allowed to play games on the Business computers.
52. See Number 50.
53. Do not rely on the other ADHD girl to keep an eye out for the instructor.
54. Do NOT piss off the LRC monitor.
55. Even if they are morally corrupt, ugly, loud, and extremely stupid.
56. Do not deliberately start drama with students who use the LRC.
57. Especially if you are the LRC monitor.
58. If you are the arts and crafts director, it would probably be wise to actually know how to do more than just scratch art, fleece blankets, and ceramic painting.
59. If all else fails, ask a student who knows how to do more stuff than you.
60. Under no circumstances are the instructors to hear what everyone else calls the various trades.
61. This is especially true if you are a *insert trade* student talking about the Carpet Munchers/Termites(Carpentry students), Cockroaches(Culinary students), Pencil Pushers(Business students), Homo Body Inspectors(Home Builders Institute students), Huffers(Painters), Sparkle Bitches(Welders), Sequeerity(Security students), or Wrench Monkeys(Automotive students).
62. Or if you do, don't get caught!
63. Cannot light required paperwork on fire.
64. Even if I can find someone willing to do so.
65. If a website is blocked, it is considered hacking to try and get to it regardless of the filters.
66. Not allowed to let the trade instructor see what you are drawing on break.
67. Especially if it's a nude figure that you haven't figured out an outfit for.
68. Do not become involved in the petty DRAMA of your friends.
69. Even if one of said friends is your roommate.
70. Do not let your room get more than 3 points marked off in the daily inspections if you value your free time.
71. Sign the darn form.
72. Legibly.
73. Even though this should have been obvious, people here are stupid.
74. If you are an LRC monitor and you do not intend to work your shift, then don't sign up for the shift, unless you like crazy people yelling at you.
75. If you are scheduled to work for ANYTHING, show up or face the consequences.
76. One of the consequences of skipping the LRC shift you're scheduled for is, if you are down in the rec hall where you can be found easily, having either a student come yelling for you, or having the Head LRC monitor chasing your butt down.
77. Don't try to play dumb with the Head LRC monitor.
78. Especially if you have just attempted number 76.