seeing the old sunset
i remember the way our bodies fit
but the feelings i felt
are not familiar anymore.
I can say that i've felt love
but its gone,
and my hope
is that i don't give up
just yet.
When i'm dancing
that first and final dance
i want to know
that it was all worth it.
that it all had meaning.

"love is no illusion..."

i can't help but build up walls
when everyone hands me bricks.

i guess i am usually imagining they came from everyone else.
I'm crazy.

its the empty frames
next to the pictures of the dead
and the tears being held
behind my doubtful eyes.
I can't tell you what i feel
or what weight i carry every day
and my heart is sinking.
breathe in.

i cant let go
so its hard for me
to hold on.


( Read more... )

i think that sometimes i feel so much that i become numb ( Read more... )

i'm sorry i said goodbye ( Read more... )

it is close to the end, but i can't feel it.
                         maybe it's been over for a long time.

maybe i'm not looking so it won't feel like it will happen.
i like to trick myself. its fun.

everyone leaves in the end.

there is so much more to life than understanding and forgetting.

and this is why the world is gray.

* the moon never stops smiling.

there is nothing left to dream anymore.

*at work thursday, a little girl named Kimberly gave me a hug when i helped her find her movie. She asked for my name and then said she would see me when she came back, like i was automatically her new friend. She was so excited and it made working worth while that day. New friends are always ( Read more... )

no words seem to come out right to explain how i feel or why. I guess it doesn't even make sense to me. That's cool though..

~~~maybe i'm just bummed about having to work tomorrow..
                 >>>           this summer seems to be going by way too fast.                            >>> 

sooooo...
          long time no speak eh?

I don't suppose too much is going on lately. I am sick of doing stuff and sick of getting fat...but if i was really sick of it then i would do something about it...
                       or so i am told.
I read in Romans last night about how we are either instruments of God or instruments of sin...only one ( Read more... )