Weekend Update
You are all lovely, kind, supportive people. Thank you :)
So I broke up with C on Monday night - he kept asking me why I was glum and eventually it just came out. Essentially the problem is that we can't take the relationship any further, so we should probably free ourselves up. There are, of course, other issues, but those are too scary to chronicle here. :) I didn't post it or tell anyone for a few days because I kept having to go to work and pretend everything was nice and didn't feel I could talk about it much.
He came round Thursday night and we did the stuff exchange. Went well, really, we'll stay friends - we always were friends, even before we started shagging. For those of you keeping track, that has never been the case for me before, so I have some hope on this one :)
Went out for dinner with him last night and it was fine. Sorry, grimbeline, but it seemed like it would be good to do, so I did :) Have signed up on Tickle.com and True.com, but so far it's only the really scary people that are paying attention. Am going to be strong and not end up in a marriage-type relationship again just because I sleep with someone and can't figure out how to end it. No, really, I mean it this time.... (aargh - I heard that cynical expression of disbelief, zheers)
Anyway, I've already lost weight and have been going to a 6am aerobics class 3 times a week, so should be thinner and more beautiful by the time I can stomach sleeping with someone else.
The trip to Yerp was great - flew into Frankfurt, got a hotel in the red light district there, which is always lightly tense but amusing. Hung out with one of my old work mates, ate wonderful Italian and Spanish food, thought about moving back, introduced C to proper sausages (he liked them so much he had a tantrum at the airport when it looked like he wasn't going to get any more). Took the train up to Amsterdam - the new trains are much, much faster, but don't go up the Rhine. Still nice though - I love travelling by train.
Met up with zheers, stsquad_real and grimbeline and her husband at the big Grasshopper and stayed there for a little while before getting sick of silly prices and wandered off. Much of the rest of the time in Amsterdam was a bit blurry....but we sat and chatted and smoked and ate wonderful Indonesian food and more Italian food and generally had a very good time. C and John, grimbeline's husband were a bit bored at times, I think, but they were happy to wander around and drink beers while we flurbled along. Feel like I got to know stsquad_real a lot better somehow, despite the fact we've known eachother for centuries :) and, as he said, under much happier circumstances than last time. It was really, really great to see everyone and spend some quality time smoking.
After the gang went off home, C and I met up with another old workmate of mine, who took us to a fantastic, world-class Indonesian (in fact the one that my Dad goes to when he's there - small world, etc.) and talked to him for a while. Always good to catch up with people. I have to say I am really honoured by the effort so many people made to see us. Talk about feeling wanted - it really, really cheered me up and made me feel like I had a place in the world again. This being a particularly nice feeling right now, after the breakup. Sorry to be sappy. I'm sure meeting in Amsterdam helps, but thanks a lot :)
The next day, we met my Mum at the station, after much waiting and nervousness (she doesn't deal well with...well, almost anything). She apparently rung my brother from the airport to tell him she couldn't carry her suitcase, so he turned up on his bike (!), picked it up and rode home while she came to meet us. It was rotten weather and we got a taxi to his house who drove round and round and round and round before he could find it, though he did drop the fare a bit since he was so incompetent. His kids are abso-fucking-lutely delightful. Molly and Katie are 8 and 5 now and they are the sweetest kids I have ever met. Katie is rebellious and energetic and insanely affectionate. If she likes you, she'll scramble on to you and hold your nose in her mouth. She was also fascinated by my boobs, which was hilarious. My brother has mellowed out a bit, though his insane rage occasionally still rears its ugly head. He went on a 10 minute rant about foxhunting and how anyone that does it should be brutally killed. I calmly noted that they are not quite at the top of my list for putting up against the wall when the revolution comes, and this seemed an adequate response. He also claims he grew up on the streets of Leeds and is a working class boy who thinks that white collar workers don't do anything, etc, which is hilarious, since we all know exaclty where he grew up (surprisingly the same places as I did) and he works as a network support chap at Worldcom. Which as far as I can recall isn't manual labour. This is the equivalent of me claiming I grew up on the streets of Manchester - he went to Uni at Leeds. What a moron. My Dad was clearly very concerned about the whole thing and rang me repeatedly and secretly to check I was keeping it together. We left early the second night after my brother and mother started having dangerous conversations.
Turns out my Dad gave me the wrong address to send all the presents to, so they all went somewhere else and haven't been sent back yet, including the $250 puppet theatre which cost me $100 to send. This is mildly annoying, especially since my brother's wife said they had, in fact, never received any of the presents I have ever sent. They still haven't contacted me to let me know and I don' think I'll go out of my way. Dad says he'll reimburse me for the second sending charge if it does come back.
Then we headed back to Frankfurt, spent the night in an airport hotel where C caught a cold and flew back home. C was miserable all the way home and also on Christmas Day, when I spent 6 hours in the kitchen, defrosting and cooking the goose our friends had bought. Good food.
New Year's was quiet. C had completely failed to plan anything, despite the fact I'd given him 3 weeks warning that, since I was doing the trip and Christmas, he had to sort out New Year's. We ended up going for a steak, since all the other restaurants were booked up. It didn't sit well, and I was sick when we got home. We were asleep by 11:30. Not too bad to be sober and awake on New Year's Day for a change though.
Nothing much else going on, really. The heating is broken and it's bloody freezing. Hoping for another snow storm so I can *cough* work from home a bit. Am making broccoli soup. Yum.
Happy New Year to everyone :) May 2005 be quite nice to all of you.
So I broke up with C on Monday night - he kept asking me why I was glum and eventually it just came out. Essentially the problem is that we can't take the relationship any further, so we should probably free ourselves up. There are, of course, other issues, but those are too scary to chronicle here. :) I didn't post it or tell anyone for a few days because I kept having to go to work and pretend everything was nice and didn't feel I could talk about it much.
He came round Thursday night and we did the stuff exchange. Went well, really, we'll stay friends - we always were friends, even before we started shagging. For those of you keeping track, that has never been the case for me before, so I have some hope on this one :)
Went out for dinner with him last night and it was fine. Sorry, grimbeline, but it seemed like it would be good to do, so I did :) Have signed up on Tickle.com and True.com, but so far it's only the really scary people that are paying attention. Am going to be strong and not end up in a marriage-type relationship again just because I sleep with someone and can't figure out how to end it. No, really, I mean it this time.... (aargh - I heard that cynical expression of disbelief, zheers)
Anyway, I've already lost weight and have been going to a 6am aerobics class 3 times a week, so should be thinner and more beautiful by the time I can stomach sleeping with someone else.
The trip to Yerp was great - flew into Frankfurt, got a hotel in the red light district there, which is always lightly tense but amusing. Hung out with one of my old work mates, ate wonderful Italian and Spanish food, thought about moving back, introduced C to proper sausages (he liked them so much he had a tantrum at the airport when it looked like he wasn't going to get any more). Took the train up to Amsterdam - the new trains are much, much faster, but don't go up the Rhine. Still nice though - I love travelling by train.
Met up with zheers, stsquad_real and grimbeline and her husband at the big Grasshopper and stayed there for a little while before getting sick of silly prices and wandered off. Much of the rest of the time in Amsterdam was a bit blurry....but we sat and chatted and smoked and ate wonderful Indonesian food and more Italian food and generally had a very good time. C and John, grimbeline's husband were a bit bored at times, I think, but they were happy to wander around and drink beers while we flurbled along. Feel like I got to know stsquad_real a lot better somehow, despite the fact we've known eachother for centuries :) and, as he said, under much happier circumstances than last time. It was really, really great to see everyone and spend some quality time smoking.
After the gang went off home, C and I met up with another old workmate of mine, who took us to a fantastic, world-class Indonesian (in fact the one that my Dad goes to when he's there - small world, etc.) and talked to him for a while. Always good to catch up with people. I have to say I am really honoured by the effort so many people made to see us. Talk about feeling wanted - it really, really cheered me up and made me feel like I had a place in the world again. This being a particularly nice feeling right now, after the breakup. Sorry to be sappy. I'm sure meeting in Amsterdam helps, but thanks a lot :)
The next day, we met my Mum at the station, after much waiting and nervousness (she doesn't deal well with...well, almost anything). She apparently rung my brother from the airport to tell him she couldn't carry her suitcase, so he turned up on his bike (!), picked it up and rode home while she came to meet us. It was rotten weather and we got a taxi to his house who drove round and round and round and round before he could find it, though he did drop the fare a bit since he was so incompetent. His kids are abso-fucking-lutely delightful. Molly and Katie are 8 and 5 now and they are the sweetest kids I have ever met. Katie is rebellious and energetic and insanely affectionate. If she likes you, she'll scramble on to you and hold your nose in her mouth. She was also fascinated by my boobs, which was hilarious. My brother has mellowed out a bit, though his insane rage occasionally still rears its ugly head. He went on a 10 minute rant about foxhunting and how anyone that does it should be brutally killed. I calmly noted that they are not quite at the top of my list for putting up against the wall when the revolution comes, and this seemed an adequate response. He also claims he grew up on the streets of Leeds and is a working class boy who thinks that white collar workers don't do anything, etc, which is hilarious, since we all know exaclty where he grew up (surprisingly the same places as I did) and he works as a network support chap at Worldcom. Which as far as I can recall isn't manual labour. This is the equivalent of me claiming I grew up on the streets of Manchester - he went to Uni at Leeds. What a moron. My Dad was clearly very concerned about the whole thing and rang me repeatedly and secretly to check I was keeping it together. We left early the second night after my brother and mother started having dangerous conversations.
Turns out my Dad gave me the wrong address to send all the presents to, so they all went somewhere else and haven't been sent back yet, including the $250 puppet theatre which cost me $100 to send. This is mildly annoying, especially since my brother's wife said they had, in fact, never received any of the presents I have ever sent. They still haven't contacted me to let me know and I don' think I'll go out of my way. Dad says he'll reimburse me for the second sending charge if it does come back.
Then we headed back to Frankfurt, spent the night in an airport hotel where C caught a cold and flew back home. C was miserable all the way home and also on Christmas Day, when I spent 6 hours in the kitchen, defrosting and cooking the goose our friends had bought. Good food.
New Year's was quiet. C had completely failed to plan anything, despite the fact I'd given him 3 weeks warning that, since I was doing the trip and Christmas, he had to sort out New Year's. We ended up going for a steak, since all the other restaurants were booked up. It didn't sit well, and I was sick when we got home. We were asleep by 11:30. Not too bad to be sober and awake on New Year's Day for a change though.
Nothing much else going on, really. The heating is broken and it's bloody freezing. Hoping for another snow storm so I can *cough* work from home a bit. Am making broccoli soup. Yum.
Happy New Year to everyone :) May 2005 be quite nice to all of you.