one moments rest i laid my head on my arm and heard my heart pounding in my ears like i was underwater like i wasnt under pressure. i forced it down and held it back something broke, it gave and came up in flood, in spurts, in deep heaving spasms. it tasted like victory from above.

here i am restless and without him

i quit counting the days....all i can say is that im happy, very happy and hes wonderful. i have two jobs now. my flight attendant training starts august 13th, that will make three jobs. im obviously working on getting out of debt, horray me! i sleep in spurts of time. a couple hours here, a couple hours there. im really into juices. these girls i ( Read more... )

day 2. a long day. an amazing evening, the ender. true romance...when you dance. center court. twitchy the star. circus shit. one hundred percent, and im ready for balance.

day one. my heart breaks at 10 then again at 1020.

theres no one like this one. no one above him. i want his love, i want to love him. i pray for time again.

hands held trembling between moments waiting in seconds and minutes over unsettling suppers she was a beauty reflected on parking lot pavement. she was a beauty like lights flickering before a disaster.

i kept dreaming of an angel with color changing eyes i woke beside a cheetah and made him breakfast we threw it away it was bland and horrible its the thought that counts i spent time in front of a mirror im not quite used to it was time uselessly spent i fell into bed for hours and woke groggy the drive seemed like only minutes i thought of the ( Read more... )

a matter of inconvenience from one while in the midst of a lonely conversation. the other, our fish and his friend. of europe and beautiful blue flowing fins. nights during a week long departure. love, loss, lust. my life being held against me, my experiences discounted on the basis of aged numbers. exhaustion in error.

i felt the light on me warm like safety in arms it shone through me and hands held my head and shoulders i heard voices in whispers they came at me softly i shook slowly and was thankful in the light of all that is good and all that is great i felt like a child felt as i should feel being welcomed home being forgiven i let a lot of it go i feel ( Read more... )