Part CCXXXIX - he was tumors

[babb_chronicles]

I`d like to thank the member of weepingcock that spotted the probably enormous troll fic featured in this batch.

(link)All write this is my first Harry Potter fan fic and I am really excited. A word of warning I am writing based on the movies not the books(I'm still reading). Another thing, Decora is a mary-sue because in my opinion Harry, Draco and Blaise

Comments

[beardedtroll]

and then Dumbleddore turns out to be not so good after ale.

A good headmaster, but a mean drunk, 's all I'm saying.

She merely sat there, eating her perfect toast and drinking orange juice to her heart's delight without any emotion.

"This toast and orange juice are perfect and delightful, but I do not care."

“What prophecy?” I asked.
“The one about you,” he said with a sigh. “A dark beauty will save the day, by going back in time, to stop the one who’s feared by all before he gets a start.”

That's not a prophecy. That's exposition.

Hermione came. His words sent her over the edge into a blissful orgasm, her juices running in tidal waves through her.

Isn't it typical? Never a King Canute around when you need one.

At twenty two years old she had given up on a love life and was a self classified spinster.

You might think that twenty-two is a tender age to be considered a spinster, but remember that that's 154 years in dog years.

Harry felt like a big, sweaty, pregnant pig. No, a whale. A sweaty, pregnant whale… Did whales sweat

[plaid_slytherin]

She was obviously slytherin for her she wore their robes

I love badfic obviousness.

He was Harry potter! Girls had always wanted him. So why did he all of sudden want a girl.

Well, Harry, when a boy reaches a certain age...

OH MY DEAR GOD! HOGWARTS! WE'RE THERE!" Harry shouted.

Harry realizes he's in badfic.

At twenty two years old she had given up on a love life and was a self classified spinster.

Well, damn. Looks like I've got five months then.

[pica_scribit]

Dumbleddore turns out to be not so good after ale.

There's no shame in that; plenty of men have trouble performing after a few drinks.

asstence

Sounds dirty. What's it mean?

The three of them mated downstairs to Professors Macnoggle’s orifice

I cannot tell if this person is being unintentionally dirty, or intentionally very, very silly.

it’s Adam and Steve not Adam and Steve.

Someone's a little confused, and perhaps about more than just their sexuality.

to kiss her gastricly

Eeeeeeewww...

“OMG you’re so huge! You’re like 6 inches!!” she shouted, gasping for breath.

I'm not going to name names, but sounds like someone got told a fib by her last boyfriend.

She was a virgin and did not know about dicks and it was her first time having a penis.

Transsexual!Virgin!Sue. That's...new.

“It will be okay… you can just use your power to turn my cum into water and then it wont be babies,” he said as he started to tittyfuck her. Her boobs were huge so they could wrap them around his weiner like bumblebees.Weird bumblebee simile

[eir_de_scania]

I'm pretty sure breastfucking won't result in babies, even in fanfic.
***In this fandom it probably can?

Girls having assbabies now? What is fanfic coming to?
***Wouldn't surprise me at all. Though to be fair, the quote just mention getting pregnant.

They forgot to mention oral sex, but I'm certain that could lead to a pregnancy as well. Perhaps vaginal is the best way of *not* getting pregnant in the wizworld?

[beardedtroll]

Girls having assbabies now? What is fanfic coming to?

Actually, that author is right. A girl can get pregnant from unprotected anal sex. "Close enough" counts for horseshoes and hand-grenades and, sometimes, ejaculate.

[eir_de_scania]

Personal experience or havr you just heard about it? Enquiring minds want to know.

[stage_zip]

HE STOLE ONE OF HER EGGS!?!?!?!

[pica_scribit]

"Look! Was that a shooting star?"
"Where?!"
*yoink*
"Nevermind."

[r05km]

Sounds like a Big Eggo x-over to me~

[vivian_lake]

>>>“Well students there is nothing wrong with bean gay,” he said

Aaand we're in "The Borrowers" crossover all of the sudden.

[lunasky3]

The Borrowers? Did I miss something when I was 10?

[vivian_lake]

That's okay, I must've missed it too when I read, and I was 20 or so. I don't remember any gay "human beans" in the book. Maybe they were cut from translation...

[i_am_tracy]

Weren't the "human beans" from the BFG?