Just for fun.....
Yesterday was a traumatic day for me. You see when I first started, Fred (who prefers to remain anonymous but can be found in my friends space) gave me a Pony. He called me on the phone one day on his way back to the office to ask if I wanted anything. A soda, some candy… which I didn't. Then he joked "How about a pony, would you like a pony?" I of course, like any upstanding woman of the world replied "Yes as a matter of fact, I would like a pony." Well, about half an hour later, Fred waltzes through the door with a smirk on his face and tosses a purple stuffed my little pony. I had to laugh. Ever since, it has been resting comfortably on the top of my monitor.
Except lately, there have been a rash of thievings. That's right, thievings. In the last few weeks, I have found my pony in a variety of places, all thanks to this man:
Roger. Though not dangerous, this slippery man has conspired to steal and hide my Pony on several occasions. So far, she has been found….
In Fred's mailbox (Which elicited a "Hey, are you mad at me? What did I do!?" from Fred.)
In the Freezer. (Someone told me they heard whinnying when opening the freezer… oh and all that food belongs to Karla.. you'll meet her later in this blog.)
In MY mailbox.
And in the blow pops. Okay, so that last one I made up. I liked the idea of my new and improved workplace being a land of ponies and candy.
OH! And how could I forget…
And with the random shoe found in the parking lot. Yes. I brought the random shoe in… but Karla TRIPLE DOG DARED me to. The shoe is actually important, too. But after much thought, I've decided to keep those two blogs separate. I feel that overlapping them would be too much for anyone to comprehend. So stay tuned for tomorrow, I will post the shoe blog.
Okay. Back to the topic at hand. Pony Theft.
Yesterday, Roger was caught in the act.
He thought he was smooth, but I tied the pony to my monitor using a piece of string taken from a tag that was used to label a printer. Apparently it wasn't strong enough…..
Well, after stealing the pony in plain view, he decided to give me this:
I took it to be some sort of ransom note. Though there was a distinct lack of "note" so I sent it back, of course.
In case you can't read it, it says "Roger-- A ransom note generally includes buzz phrases such as "Or the Pony Gets It" and demands for cash or services. -B"
He then hand delivered this:
I looked at Chris (the guy I share an office with) and said "Have you ever seen a hand delivered letter?" he laughed and said "No, and he forgot to tell you to leave the hooch in a cooler on a corner somewhere."
By that time, Roger who was in the file room, came stomping back and snatched the letter. I told him he should really have one of his agents deliver the letter next time, I mean really, its just more "professional kidnapper" to do that!
So a short time later, Karla arrived:
I was devastated:
Roger at least pretended to be shocked by the days events:
Melissa came to offer her sympathies:
But I had to work:
And life goes on. At the end of the day, I went back into the warehouse to find my Pony about to he locked in the cage by Roger's accomplices. Their identities are being protected as I did not get their permission to post their pictures in my blog.
God damned pony theft. It's up and rising every day. Wherever you are, protect your purple pony. Mean time, I have to figure out how I'm going to afford 49 bottles of hooch and a plane ticket to Montgomery in time to come back for our Ground Hog's Day celebration next week. I lead the tough life.