hold me high, kiss me low
jaejoong/yunho
angst
nc17
749 words
You pass him in the hallway on the very last night, 11pm shadows of an emptying house filling the carved hollows of his face when he blocks your path at the very last minute.
It’s all about the money, isn’t it?
It’s a low blow and you stop short, make as if to brush past him but he shoves you back.
Answer me, Jaejoong. Because if you think I’m going to let you throw five years away just because of-…
If that’s what you want to think, then maybe it’s best I leave anyway.
Yunho recoils from the words but doesn’t back down. How dare you, he says, voice low and you can feel your gaze drop, wander aimless to the wallpaper, locked doors beyond him, lingering anywhere but on him. Maybe it would have been better if he’d yelled, raged and raised his voice at you instead of this.
How dare you. How dare you leave after everything?
How can I stay?
He slaps you for that, sharp stinging pain that wrenches a breath from you and you can’t find it in yourself to retaliate, not even when he shoves you hard up against the wall, pins you to the peeling wallpaper. It’s the closest thing to physical contact you’ve had with him for the past one week, shoulders bumping moving boxes out of the doorway uncounted.
Grow a spine, Jaejoong.
Why don’t you grow yourself some common sense first, then? Does it look like I haven’t tried anything and everything to stop this? Does it? Oh but I forgot, of course you can’t see it, on the account of being far too fucking busy with your fucking career to care about people you should have spent more time on. Do you think hiring lawyers come cheap, Yunho? You come from a family of them, don’t tell me you don’t know.
Listen to yourself, everything’s just about you isn’t it? Money is a flimsy excuse when it’s all really about your own pride. Who are you to say that I don’t care when you tore apart everything we’ve been working towards without a second thought? Have you talked to Changmin, apologized yet?
What is this everything you keep talking about, Yunho? Waking up tired? Making music I don’t care for anymore? Smiling for the cameras, pretending to the world that you love me and I love you right back? You can’t make me stay after all this, you say, bitter.
Unspoken regrets are rising coloured under your skin; this is going to hurt tomorrow and the day after that and every single day from now on. You haven’t talked to Changmin, he won’t speak to you.
I never meant to make you stay. I just want to make you feel worse about leaving.
Yunho kisses you hard, almost desperate, sharply painful in a way that manages to take the very strength out of your legs until he has to hold you up, hands carving a hold onto your hips. You think you heard him say I loved you, once, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking, dull pain spreading at the base of your head when he slams you harder against the wall, pins you to it.
Make me feel it, then.
And some part of you thinks that you need this, crave it even. Yunho twisting your hair into his fist, dragging bite marks parallel to your jugular, Yunho Yunho Yunho, just Yunho, not Yunho from dongbangshinki, not U-know Yunho but just Yunho, trading summer air for your ragged breaths instead. He fucks you from the back, doesn’t want to see your face and you don’t want to meet his eyes either.
I hate you, I hate you Kim Jaejoong. I hate you for leaving. I hate you, I hate having to remember you like this.
Then don’t.
He presses frustrations into your skin, bruises for everyday he won’t be able to do this again, not like this, not here. Half moon marks into your shoulders, uneven scratches down your spine that make you hiss and buck against his thrust, words whispered along your neck. There will be others, of that you’re sure enough and Yunho probably knows that too, the way he marks, makes you come in his hand, hissing his name through your teeth, fuck, Yunho, Yunho please.
Forgetting.
[fin]
AN- angry!sex because I said I would write it .___. I don’t think I’ve broken my OTP like this before.
angst
nc17
749 words
You pass him in the hallway on the very last night, 11pm shadows of an emptying house filling the carved hollows of his face when he blocks your path at the very last minute.
It’s all about the money, isn’t it?
It’s a low blow and you stop short, make as if to brush past him but he shoves you back.
Answer me, Jaejoong. Because if you think I’m going to let you throw five years away just because of-…
If that’s what you want to think, then maybe it’s best I leave anyway.
Yunho recoils from the words but doesn’t back down. How dare you, he says, voice low and you can feel your gaze drop, wander aimless to the wallpaper, locked doors beyond him, lingering anywhere but on him. Maybe it would have been better if he’d yelled, raged and raised his voice at you instead of this.
How dare you. How dare you leave after everything?
How can I stay?
He slaps you for that, sharp stinging pain that wrenches a breath from you and you can’t find it in yourself to retaliate, not even when he shoves you hard up against the wall, pins you to the peeling wallpaper. It’s the closest thing to physical contact you’ve had with him for the past one week, shoulders bumping moving boxes out of the doorway uncounted.
Grow a spine, Jaejoong.
Why don’t you grow yourself some common sense first, then? Does it look like I haven’t tried anything and everything to stop this? Does it? Oh but I forgot, of course you can’t see it, on the account of being far too fucking busy with your fucking career to care about people you should have spent more time on. Do you think hiring lawyers come cheap, Yunho? You come from a family of them, don’t tell me you don’t know.
Listen to yourself, everything’s just about you isn’t it? Money is a flimsy excuse when it’s all really about your own pride. Who are you to say that I don’t care when you tore apart everything we’ve been working towards without a second thought? Have you talked to Changmin, apologized yet?
What is this everything you keep talking about, Yunho? Waking up tired? Making music I don’t care for anymore? Smiling for the cameras, pretending to the world that you love me and I love you right back? You can’t make me stay after all this, you say, bitter.
Unspoken regrets are rising coloured under your skin; this is going to hurt tomorrow and the day after that and every single day from now on. You haven’t talked to Changmin, he won’t speak to you.
I never meant to make you stay. I just want to make you feel worse about leaving.
Yunho kisses you hard, almost desperate, sharply painful in a way that manages to take the very strength out of your legs until he has to hold you up, hands carving a hold onto your hips. You think you heard him say I loved you, once, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking, dull pain spreading at the base of your head when he slams you harder against the wall, pins you to it.
Make me feel it, then.
And some part of you thinks that you need this, crave it even. Yunho twisting your hair into his fist, dragging bite marks parallel to your jugular, Yunho Yunho Yunho, just Yunho, not Yunho from dongbangshinki, not U-know Yunho but just Yunho, trading summer air for your ragged breaths instead. He fucks you from the back, doesn’t want to see your face and you don’t want to meet his eyes either.
I hate you, I hate you Kim Jaejoong. I hate you for leaving. I hate you, I hate having to remember you like this.
Then don’t.
He presses frustrations into your skin, bruises for everyday he won’t be able to do this again, not like this, not here. Half moon marks into your shoulders, uneven scratches down your spine that make you hiss and buck against his thrust, words whispered along your neck. There will be others, of that you’re sure enough and Yunho probably knows that too, the way he marks, makes you come in his hand, hissing his name through your teeth, fuck, Yunho, Yunho please.
Forgetting.
[fin]
AN- angry!sex because I said I would write it .___. I don’t think I’ve broken my OTP like this before.